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Help! New Video Idea, Need Your Insight! (Patreon)

Published:
2021-09-16 22:02:47
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Hey hey!! I am working on a video about religious trauma and I don't want it to be disrespectful to people, but I also want to address the difficulties of growing up in a dogmatic or authoritarian religion where who we were wasn't accepted or supported. Any thoughts, questions you think I should cover, or facts I should share? I was trying to break it into facts about it or it could just be a "what is religious trauma" type video too if you think that's best. Any insight would be helpful!! Thank you :) xoxo Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below or message me :) 

Comments

Kelly

Catholic guilt. I had the luck of being in a Catholic school from elementary through high school and then silly me went to a Jesuit University for college. I feel like guilt is so ingrained in my very being from this-absolutely every single thing you do in your life is definitely not right, not something that God would approve of, we are sinners, etc. You can only associate with certain people, if you think a certain way or love a certain person or act a certain way, it is wrong and it’s not what God wants therefore you must be sorry before you can be welcome. I just can’t. It’s almost a guilt for your very existence on this earth. I’m just now working through some of this.

Il Taek Kwon

Could you address how to resolve accumulated anger, stress, and anxiety? Also, could you address how to relive their consequent physical symptoms? (Headache, dizzy, racing heartbeat)

Jewel

In college a professor pretty much brainwashed my twin and I to become baptist Christina’s, had us live with her, convinced us our family was awful. Had us recite Bible passages perfectly, only friends had to also be Christians. No horror movies because it would be a door to open to demons, wasn’t allowed to do theater in college for a while because she said all theater kids did drugs. Had to sleep on the floor on a mattress, did her kids laundry, pretty much a ton of chores around her house while she sat and watched tv, and told me that being gay was the one unforgivable sin after I told her I was bi. Literally brainwashed me and my twin to believe we would fail at life and be damned to hell if we didn’t do exactly as she said and live exactly by the Bible. My twin is still entwined with the professor and her family and holds a lot of messed up beliefs that she didn’t hold prior to this professor

Troy R

I have a friend who is very much remains a person of faith in spite of other members of her church sharing hurtful views. I just wanted to leave space for that possibility. Their response was not to abandon their faith.

Beth Buchmiller

My suggestion would be just to make sure people know that religious trauma isn't always hellfire and damnation--it can be the little things too and they just accumulate. I grew up very Mormon and left within the past couple years. Not because anyone yelled in my face, but because the insidious little beliefs that people have. "You have to do x to get to heaven/be saved/etc." can be incredibly traumatizing for people who for whatever reason can't do x. I would also note that it's possible to believe in a particular faith but still be traumatized by the people. Mormon culture especially, in my experience, is particularly toxic but it's something created by the members, not by the church itself. Also that it is possible to get out and heal if that's what you want for yourself, but religion can run deep so give it time to learn a new way of thinking.

Becca B.

I second the Catholic guilt. My friend (who is Jewish) once said to me “Jews invented guilt and Catholics perfected it.” Then we realized the should actually be “Jews invented guilt and Catholics turned it into shame”. I also want to add on to that how abstinence only education in my Catholic school growing up not only didn’t prepare me for intimate relationships, it made me fear that if I ever had sex outside of marriage, the room would literally burst into flames and that would be the end of me. That ship has looooong sailed but I still have so much fear and guilt whenever I’m intimate with someone in any way. That fear of spending eternity In hell because I *gasp* had sex really held me back for a long time from allowing myself to have that experience. Last thing is, it was so confusing because the messages that the Bible actually teaches and are the center of the religion are really beautiful. Community, togetherness, love, acceptance. Like…Jesus literally hung out with a bunch of people who were considered society’s outcasts! But these messages were totally dashed when they would tell us things like it’s not ok to be gay or trans or have an abortion and we treat people like garbage who have these experiences. How do you grow up in that and not be confused lol! When I was still going to church when i first moved to the city, I found a church that was super progressive in their beliefs. The priest was openly gay, they had this incredible young adult group and a group for the LGBTQ community where people could come and feel a sense of community and safety and freedom to connect with their faith. It was really beautiful to get to witness. I don’t go anymore, but occasionally I get the urge to go and I go there. I think if I had grown up in a place like that, I might feel quite differently about religion. Sorry that was a lot! I hope some of it is useful!

nikki d 💌

I think when it comes to religious stuff, in terms of not being disrespectful it’s important to address that it was people in the church but perhaps not the entire religion or religious organisation itself. Personally church is very important to me but I also acknowledge, like in every sector, some people just suck at what they do (or suck in general). I have personally been told I just need to pray more about my depression, suicidal thoughts, and eating disorder and that’s the answer. That’s not always the answer in my opinion. If there is a chemical imbalance or things going wrong in my brain, then it makes sense to me to seek help from someone who specialises in this field- ie therapist. If we all go to a regular doctor… what is the difference 🤷‍♀️ I am just so sad that some people make a church experience suck. It is traumatising and I understand why they would never want to go back 🤦🏼‍♀️

Kelly
>>67982901

^ you said everything I could have wanted to say and more! I very much drifted from faith/church because of the guilt and shame. Just recently have I found God again in my journey.

Michelle

I grew up Catholic and now identify as atheist. Honestly, I think it will be impossible to create a video about this topic without some portion of people thinking it's disrespectful, but I still think it's a very important video to create. For many people, their religion is how they guide their life and what they turn to when they are struggling. If you are a practicing member of any organized religion, especially religions who state that their mission is to convert as many people as possible, you don't want to hear that the thing you use to guide your life and that you turn to in times of suffering is something that could be traumatizing you (or that the way you practice your religion could be traumatizing others). They will therefore have a strong reaction to this type of video. However, I still strongly believe that this type of video is necessary for those of us who were part of a dogmatic religion that explicitly diminished certain groups of people (women, LGBTQ, BIPOC). Not a lot about it exists, especially from professional therapists. It is extremely validating to hear that the feelings we experienced were not misplaced and could not be "prayed away". I think it is up to you what type of video you create, because I think you'll be opening yourself up to some strong reactions from the internet, but I also believe that it is extremely helpful to be upfront and transparent about this.

Claire

This would be an interesting video.

Christine Goodman

There is so much I could say about this but the absolute manipulation that is pervasive in religious settings. From the messages of damnation to the way music is used to work up the congregation and illicit desired response. The misuse of funds, lack of accountability when people in “spiritual positions” abuse their so called “power”. Using fear to keep people from questioning. The vitriol received if you dare question. The purity culture especially for women, restriction of activities, no dances, movies, “secular music” etc.

David Edinburgh

There are some awfully bad churches out there, who've done lots of damage. But there is a huge variety of experience and not every church member believes the same things. It'd be like saying that every American believed and acted the same way on a particular topic. The church has been amazingly good for my mental health. Couple of interesting resources: * https://www.mindandsoulfoundation.org/ * I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die (https://www.amazon.com/Love-Jesus-But-Want-Die/dp/0593193520)

Lauren Ashley

I have a lot to say about this haha! I'll DM you Kati :)

Emily Robinson

I think some people would be offered no matter what because people are people. I know you will never have those intentions ever Kati. I think the best thing would be not to focus on one religion and just be general to make sure people are not being attacked. It makes me upset that people experience trauma from religion because in Christianity God wants people to be loved and to be expected by everyone not to be shut out. I’m glad I’m apart of a Pentecostal church because we expect any walk of life LGBTQ+, any cultural and it doesn’t matter how you dress which sounds silly but there are so many churches that don’t let people in based on how they Present. Thank you Kati for everything your amazing and I can’t believe I got to meet you over Skype. You are one of my rockstars.

Becky

I am religious, but I've also started to become more aware of how much manipulation occurs in faith communities, including my own. Talking about spiritual abuse would be a great starting point. There's a lot of articles/information about it, but it's basically the idea of using religion/religious leadership to coerce, manipulate, or shame someone into believing, thinking, or doing something. Many faith communities have made discrimination and a culture of shame "acceptable" in the name of religion. Spiritual abuse is also so dangerous because many religious people trust their religious leaders and would do anything to please them. And oftentimes life/death and hell/heaven are on the line, making people even more vulnerable to abuse. Sounds like a great video. And I think as long as you keep it broad enough where you don't single out a specific religion, it will be done in a respectful and informative manner!

Christoph S.

I grew up in a catholic household and I second that catholic guilt shame. But there is one more topic that has troubled me growing up. I was an altar boy for many years, so I knew many priests - some really great people, my uncle was a priest etc. And the range was from very conservative to pretty liberal. But what I started to see in my teens was the hypocrisy of religion. You preach love and then you damn those who don't live by your expectation. You read the gospel and the many wise things Jesus supposedly said and then you don't live up to it. This left me puzzled and over time I lost my belief. I cannot even say that I am an atheist now, I just don't believe and I don't care if there is a god. Could be, could not be. What I am really struggling with until today is death - the church promises an afterlife in heaven, but is there really something. From my belief, it is over once you die, no immortal soul. But then I talk to my mom, my grandparents etc. who are all dead. Is this a trauma or is this crazy? This hypocrisy that I mentioned also led to my attitude towards religion: it is something I can make fun of. Something ridicoulous, because the word and the actions don't match at all. But then I am a hypocrit myself, when I enter a church (or another building of worship) I dont want to offend anyone and act very respectfully, although I think the belief is rubbish. Or is this just being a decent human being, resprecting others? Anyways: I think a video about religion will always offend someone, no matter how respectful you want to be. Someone will feel offended - probably because you just hit their weak point.

Ray Wood

I think a lot of kids are traumatized when they are threatened with hellfire and damnation if they aren't good! In case you didn't think being on Santa's bad list was enough coercion. The church I had to go to was all about damnation preaching. And okay to sing but no instruments or dancing allowed?? More and more it just seemed like a lot of arbitrary rules like that and nowhere I have I seen it written that 'Ye shall not jam nor shall ye boogie'. So I pretty much decided then that I just believe what I wanted to believe. I was turned into a rebel by that religion, not a sheep. I just don't want to be judged on that if people want to go to church, fine. We hear a lot about freedom of religion and that's all fine, but what about freedom FROM religion? It's also my right to choose to believe or not to believe. I learned a few Bible verses along the way so how about Judge not, lest you BE judged. "Life is about the journey, not the destination." - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

SusieQ

I wasn’t raised in this setting. I was brought up in church, but don’t recall being forced to believe this or believe that. But as an adult, I continued to go to church, took a long break after my dad passed away (a 10 year break), and then started searching out a place to feel like I “belonged”. Very much found that connection at the church I landed and “grew” up in. However, after some recent things taking place over the last 2 years, I’ve come to recognize that there has been a great deal of dogmatic beliefs that took some deep roots along the way. And now, feeling so “rooted” in a family that gave me a “place” and a reason and a connection, seems very hard to pull away from and I’m seeing more and more how much judgement is there. Not maliciously, but I’m now the outsider. And as the outsider, I’ve come to recognize how slowly I had fallen under that authoritarian control, and know that it’s necessary, yet still hard to release myself from a strong place of connection. Almost seems like how or why someone stays in an abusive relationship…just bc it’s a connection. That seems to make the trauma ingrained that much more.

Shri Ram

Many children in the Hare Krishna movement were removed from education and taken to ashrams in India where they were forced to work labour jobs without pay, cleaning the temples and cooking. As well some girls were forced to marry as children. I think the concept of working for a church, mosque, temple etc for free is a type of religious trauma, thinking that providing time without pay or acknowledgement is acceptable. It leaves many people with a lack of self worth and an inability to understand their worth in the job market