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So many Livestreams! (Patreon)

Published:
2016-11-01 17:23:19
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Hey everyone :) I am going to try and do 4 or 5 livestreams a week throughout the month of November! Since they will be so frequent, hopefully you are able to hop on some of them. I will post a new post like this each week, so ask your questions for this week's livestreams and I will try to get through as many as I can :) xoxo 

I hope you are as excited about this as I am!! xoxo


Kati 

Comments

Michelle

This is amazing, you do such a great job kati

Nicky Fitch

Oh wow!! That's awesome - thank you!!

Troy R

Stream Live Everyday In November! SLEDNOV!

Dawn

Yay! This is incredible. Thank you for all of your hard work!! 😁

Jana S.

Hey Kati! I really hope you'll read this: I currently struggle a lot with the "theapeutic relationship" with my therapist and I'm very unsure, if I need to terminate the therapy. The thing is we have been working with each other for a while now and I do need help, but I actually keep doubting that she's actually able to help me, but I don't know whether it's because of her incompetence or because of my psychological issuses. Additionally I'm obviously very scared that I'll be on my own if I break the therapy up and have to wait some time before I find another therapist, but my struggles are getting worse and I just don't know how I should cope. Please talk about terminating therapy after more than a couple of session (we already had about 20 or so) or I'll try to become a guest. I really need some advice right now. Either way thank you for everything you're doing. You already helped me personally soo much. Lots of Love from Gemany. xxx

Amy

Hi Jana. Your question were my exact words and experience earlier this year. I had been seeing my therapist for 1 Year (fortnightly). I ended up talking to her about it - I asked her if she had ever helped anyone with similar issues to me and I even asked if she feels like she can help me. It was one of the best sessions we have had because she also shared how she had also felt like we were stuck in the therapeutic relationship and she had been thinking that there was some transference/counter transference happening. We talked about that and once it was highlighted we both catch ourselves when we see it happening. I told her that I would like to have a goal each session so I feel like I have achieved something at the end of the session. She then made sure she had a goal for me each session (but we both kept in mind that sometimes we couldn't reach the goal if other things came up in therapy that we would have to head off in that direction a little). Anyway, my point is, if you mention how you are feeling with your therapist - I know that it is easier said than done, but I really feel that when I said something to my therapist (that I feel like I am getting nowhere with her) that it was a bit of a turning point and things are so much better now. If you don't get confident answers back from your therapist and she agrees that you should probably see another therapist then I am not sure what I would do either - hopefully Kati has some answers for that :) Hang in there Jana, and know that there is someone else out there (even all the way in Australia) that has felt very similar to you at the moment and you will feel like things are flowing again soon. Amy xxx

Jana S.
>>2916165

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer, Amy!! I do feel a little less alone now. :) I’m sorry you’ve been in a similar situation, but on the other hand I’m glad it seems to have turned out so well for you! :) Are you still seeing your therapist today or have you already recovered by now? Unfortunately, I already have tried to talk to my therapist about this several times, but she doesn’t seem to know how to respond to this at all. She even seems „pissed off“, when I keep bringing it up. I’m afraid she’s actually just not experienced enough and actually might be overwhelmed with the problems we have herself. (She’s still a psychotherapist „in training“ – So I’m not sure how much experience she actually has yet and the fact that she’s not done with her training yet obviously doesn’t really help me trusting more in her competence. :/) I really try hard to make the therapy work with her, but I don’t feel like a) it’s my responsibility to put so much effort into just „making it work at all“ and b) I don’t actually feel „good“ seeing her. So my intuition is screaming to actually just breaking the therapy up, because I’m so unsatisfied, (even though I did continuously try to make her aware of the problem and also gave her so many opportunities to just “be better”). But she honestly just seems totally insecure and lost to me and I don’t get why she doesn’t refer me out, if I’m actually right and she does feel overwhelmed. She told me that she talked to her supervisor about me several times and some of the advice she got from her supervisor seemed to help in a way, but these are always just very small things that then spark the hope in me that it might does get better. But honestly this is no way a therapy should be. And I really need help, since I feel like my problems are getting worse and I’m still not properly diagnosed. I’m freaking out. And she is even making me feel worse at times (probably due to her own insecurities), but therapy should help me and not make things worse. I just really don’t know how I get out of this mess “safely”. :/

Emily

Oh yay :-) You are just amazing, thank you so much for all your time and hard work. x

Katie Elizabeth O'Rourke

Thank you so much for taking the time to do this and answer our questions and just everything that you do for us!!!

EJ

I have kind of a random question that stemmed from a previous video of yours... You mentioned that you often use a "tough love" approach in therapy and I'm curious if you find that effective on all your clients and how you know when it won't be effective?

Jennifer Hall

Oh my... You are gonna be a busy bee Kati! I hope you have a lot of energy for this. Thank you; it's so amazing how far you've come and I've only known you since March! I love how you just keep going and you have great energy for doing something that you love so much. Hope you had a great Halloween by the way(:

Tori Haar

I'd like to ask if you have any tips for meeting people and getting connected in a new area? I've recently moved to a new state because an opportunity came up to work in a field I really care about. I am working from home as well as studying a masters by distance so haven't met many people yet.

Amy

Hi Jana - I am not sure how I can reply under just your comment so having to reply back in the common convo - sorry everyone. Yeah it definitely sounds like you need to give your current therapist the flick. Could you start seeing someone else right now and then you could get their advice on what you should do with this current therapist? I still regularly see my therapist - definitely not "recovered" yet but I am getting stronger and more confident that I will be better soon. I am on a high dose of medication though too and have found that extremely helpful. I am keen to talk to you further if you want. I am on Instagram under the name @bathtubgardens - we could Dm each other more there if you want?? Only if you want - no pressure. Xx

Amy
>>2916165

Hi Jana. I get these thoughts about whether or not my T is competent as well. But if you see lots of red flags, or even worse, unethical behaviour then I suggest 1) speaking up to her about it in a direct unambiguous way, i.e., "I have been feeling like you are not helping me in X, Y, Z. If she is a competent therapist she will appropriately respond and try to fix the issue or at least explore your concerns with you. or 2) ask for a referral to see another therapist. Open lines of communication is necessary so that you get the care you need. It's commendable that you take into account the fact that she's a training psych, but it's still your mental health. Switch if you need to. It may take courage to do so. :) hope that helps.

Mel

Hey Kati! I'd like to know if you have any suggestions for when the numbness of depression hits. My therapist has suggested its a form of dissociation, and given dissociation is something I struggle with, and the way she explains it, it makes sense to me. Her theory is that when I get overwhelmed for an extended period of time my mind overcompensates and switches off my ability to feel. It can last for weeks or months, and her suggestion to prevent it was to check in with myself frequently (using mindfulness), to catch it before it gets so bad the switch is 'flicked'. Unfortunately, this time it snuck up on me, and it took me a few weeks to realise I had entered another numb period. It sucks, I want it to end, previously nothing has ever worked except waiting it out, so if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears! Thanks so much Kati - what you do is amazing. I'm so glad I found your site!

sadiegirl

How do you allow yourself to have the feelings necessary for healing from child sexual abuse when you now, as an adult have a relationship with the person that abused you? For example, my therapist wants me to be able to express anger for the abuse happening, but I don’t want to be angry at my abuser. (My abuser is a family member that I now have a good relationship with) (I will add he also completed years of treatment, therapy and continues to stay clean & sober).

Jana S.
>>2922247

Hey Amy^^ Luckily, I just went through the new comments on this post, so I found your reply^^ :D I won't be able to get an appointment with a new therapist right away. It usually takes up at least one month (assuming you are very lucky – usually it rather takes 2 - 6 months) to get an appointment with a therapist in Germany. Well, at least if you want the sessions to be coverd by your insurance company... But I was able to get an appointment with a „therapeutic counsellor“ from the university especially to discuss this problem next week, so that’s good. Today I cancled this week’s therapy session to buy myself some time... and I hope the counsellor can help me get a little bit more clarity what I want to do and how I should proceed next week. But the whole thing still makes me very uncomfortable and I’m constatly worrying about it. Last night I woke up three times and I’m just under a lot of pressure right now. I really struggle with keeeping up the work for university as well. It’s quite a lot and I feel already overwhelmed eventhough the semester only just started again last week.. I don’t really know how to cope with all of this. For now I can handle it somehow, but I fear that sooner or later I’ll have some kind of breakdown, if things won’t clear up soon. :/ I’d like to talk to you more as well. But I don’t have instagram. If you want you can send me an email instead?! :D (jana@sueb.de) xx

Michelle

Do you think people can fully recover from self harm or Ed's or are they something that we learn to manage but will always be a part of us??

Lauren_E

Do grounding techniques still work if shutting down and dissociation are automatic and you don't really feel in control of them?

Kati Morton
>>2915994

Hey honey.. I answered this on the livestream today :) It also streamed to Tumblr if you missed watching it live. xoxo

Kati Morton
>>2919712

Hey honey :) I think you were on the livestream.. but if you missed it, I answered your question and it also posted to my Tumblr page :) xoxo

Kati Morton
>>2920050

Awe thanks honey :) I just like interacting with all of you.. and it's a great way to get some extra questions answered :) xoxo

Kati Morton
>>2921797

Hey Tori :) If you missed the livestream I answered your question and it also posted to my Tumblr page :) xoxo

Kati Morton
>>2924000

Hey Mel :) If you missed the livestream I answered your question in it! It also posted to my Tumblr page!! xoxo

Nicky Fitch

Hope the live stream went well tonight! I love your luvestreams! But I couldn't handle watching it today 😕 can't handle much at the moment 😢 x x hope your well 🤗🤗

EJ
>>2919712

Hey Kati! I didn't get to watch live as I was still commuting home from work - but I just watched the stream now and I really loved your answer. I think I have a bit of a follow up that I will post below for the next stream! Also, I hope you post the streams you do somewhere where they can be watched after! I work really long shifts five days a week and there is a time change, so I think I've only ever made it to one and a half steams live EVER. THANK YOU!

EJ

Here is kind of a follow-up to my tough love question (+ related to the other chats above about therapists being assholes)... While I can't imagine my CURRENT therapist EVER being an asshole to me, I do also recognize that she is a human-being with feelings and sometimes might have a bad day. I was wondering, Kati, if you've ever said something to a client that you later regretted, and how you would rectify that situation if it did come up? As I said, my current therapist is very calm, collected and level-headed, offers amazing unbiased reflections, etc... but I did see a therapist briefly before who one day blew up on me, yelled at me and then refused to help transition by providing any info to my new T (and who still owes me a session I've paid for), so I do find I have a fear with new T that something similar may happen.

Jana S.
>>2929058

The livestream was great. Sorry to hear you're not well at the moment and couldn't watch it. But Kati is probably uploading it on Youtube if she hasn't already so you can rewatch it there if you want and feel better. Get well soon. xx

Jana S.
>>2916165

Thanks for your advice. I am probably going to break up the therapy. The whole process is a little bit complicated and comes with a lot of anxiety, but I hope I'll find a way how to cope. It definitely helped me having people just responding to this, so I don't feel as alone with the problem anymore. So thanks a lot!! :)

Jana S.
>>2915994

Hey Kati :) I did watch the livestream and I loved it. Thank you so much! :) - It definitely helped me to get such a clear opinion of your side about her behaviour. I usually try to come to her defence, but I really trust you and so I guess I'll try to take myself serious now and quit the therapy. Now I just have to find a way how to get this done in the right way, but thank you so much for responding to this!! xxxx

Jana S.
>>2929058

Hey^^ Sorry I just realised that I was wrong. Kati isn't going to upload this livestream to YouTube, so you have to watch it on Tumblr if you are interested. Sorry, just wanted to correct myself.^^

Nicky Fitch
>>2929058

Aww, I don't have tumblr. Ah well - next time 🙂 and thank you so much for your kind words x x

Mel
>>2924000

Thank you so much for answering! And yes, my therapist is absolutely amazing, I'm incredibly lucky to have been referred to her and not someone else. To answer your question, I try to check in with myself daily, I can honestly say I don't always keep up with that schedule though. And lately has been a very tough time with work/study/family/money/everything in life going wrong at once, so I probably should have been checking in more frequently. Another part of the problem is that even though I check in with myself, and realise how bad I'm doing, I can't always do anything about it. Some days I desperately need to take a sick day, but that's not an option with work being as crazy as it is etc etc. I'll get the DBT workbook you mentioned and look at page 56 or 72 for that white light exercise :P Thanks again Kati! You're awesome!

Emily

Hi Kati, I was just wondering what your thoughts are on Gestalt therapy? I have been seeing a gestalt therapist for a few months now to try and deal with my abuse issues. But I don't know if this is an effective form of therapy for dealing with sexual abuse. She wants me to try "The Empty Chair Technique", I find this really hard because I find I struggle to visualize whoever I am trying to talk to and also because my therapist is sitting there looking at me, (I know that's kind of the point but I find it really off putting.) Do you think this will help me get to the root of my issues or should I consider trying finding a new therapist who specialises in something else? Thank you so much. x

Bailey R

Hi Kati! How would you go about ”undoing” bad therapy? I’ve realized the extent of how simply bad the therapy and treatment I have gotten has been, and I think it’s set me back from healing more than anything and has created many more problems. As a teenager I went through religious shaming/conversion therapy, a drugs & alcohol rehab when I’ve never been a substance addict, a separate “troubled-youth” residential living center, multiple month long depressing hospitalizations where I wouldn’t go outside or exercise for the entire stay, misdiagnosis’s, and overzealous psychiatry… Now as a 22 year old college student, I’m functioning and “out of the system” like I once was. However, I still find myself nearly constantly conflicted with what the truth is and what are my feelings? Even with little things I have so many different versions of responses. I feel they were all therapy learned, I don’t know which voice is mine! Would more therapy be a good or bad idea? Or do you think I would benefit more from figuring this out independently now? I am sorry this is so long! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do!

Jennifer Hall

I am pretty sure this is where I ask on the 11/3 live stream? I was wondering on how to not be so hard on ourselves. I have everybody, mostly my counselors and social worker, telling me I have really high expectations of myself, that I take on a lot of responsibility, I take blame, and control things. I am a perfectionist. Every counselor I see tells me this and I do the detrimental aspect as I think negatively of myself when things don't go right when I am in control. As I see the problem now, I want to fix it. How could I lower my expectations for myself as I do a lot of things like college/HS, LGBT groups, community service, etc. I feel like I need to have things perfect or at least in the 90% grades, I know that it doesn't have to be like that. How could I change those thoughts?

Kati Morton
>>2929058

I did upload them both to Tumblr :) I hope they are helpful and brighten your day!! xoox

Siobhan

Hey Kati! Do you think suicide is a choice or is it a result of a mental illness? For example I wouldn't choose to have suicidal thoughts but I get told it's a choice

kymmie

Hey Kati, Do you have any videos on how our Mental health is affected by periods and that time of the month? I am struggling with it and not sure how to approach my doctor next week when I see them

Jess Campbell

How can you talk to someone who has recently started self harming about trying to stop when you're in recovery yourself? I'm in an awkward situation with a coworker who's daughter has just started cutting and they want me to talk to her?

Haley Eidem

Wondering why I'm totally fine admitting I have severe anxiety but, at the same time, totally ashamed to be open about feeling depressed (even with my therapist)?

Bethany Laura Anderson

Hey kati, I am 21 and have 5 brothers and a mum who is too dependent on me. I work 40+ hours a week, go to uni full time, try keep up a good social life with friend and also try to have family time but I just can't maintain the life I am living and have been triggered a lot late and I know it is because I am spreading myself too thin. Do you have any advice about mums being too dependent on their children ... Financially and emotionally? Xx

Lauren_E
>>2928304

Thank you so much for answering my question on the live stream! I am not against taking medication I have been taking it kind of on and off for years because I have a hard time being consistent which I know is not good but I am working on getting better at it!

Emily
>>2944906

Hi Kymmie, Sorry I'm not Kati, I think I have seen two videos Kati has done on YouTube about PMS, here are the links: <a href="https://youtu.be/RZggH9Sm76g" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/RZggH9Sm76g</a> PMS & PMDD Mental Health Videos. <a href="https://youtu.be/XGfL-3gSbaQ" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/XGfL-3gSbaQ</a> PMS Myth Busters Kati's Colab with Hannah Hart. Hope they help and good luck with your doctors appointment. Emily. x

Tina
>>2944906

Hi Kymmie, sorry I am not Kati either! I experience PMDD and so, I am the rare ones who rejoice when my periods arrival! I found it really really helpful tracking your periods and mood, and showing my doctor that! My periods are relatively regular, so generally I know when to expect the mood changes, so can plan for it. Exercise, journaling, and just general self care help heaps for me. Going on the pill apparently helps some people, and so does intermittent SSRIs! Let us know how you go!! Good luck!! Xx

Kati Morton
>>2927496

It is really hard.. letting ourselves feel anger can especially be hard and almost scary at times. In all truth, if you are able to not see them for awhile that could help. That way you have some time to heal and feel all you maybe couldn't feel before. Also, finding some healthy ways to express your anger can help it feel more controlled.. examples are: screaming into a pillow, writing about it and tearing it up, throwing a pillow, kicking a soccer ball, one of my clients loves kick boxing for this reason :) Or even screaming in your car.. sometimes that feels safer. Keep me posted on this and let me know if you need more ideas :) xoxo

Kati Morton
>>2944983

Have you done any work with boundaries in therapy?? That honestly is the best thing we can do.. I also talk about that a bit in some videos :) I have a few on boundaries and I also talk about this in my toxic people videos. For now, I would honestly start by just noticing the things she depends on you for. Then (with the help of your therapist if you have one) go through them and decide which things you are okay with and which ones you aren't okay with. Then we can start setting a few healthy boundaries based on that. I know it's hard, but just noticing it and working on it a bit is a great start!!!! xoxo

Michelle
>>2927849

Thank you for answering my question kati, Did you upload fridays live stream to tumblr? I can't seem to find it.

Mags

Hi Kati, Thankyou for making your wonderful content! I've been really struggling with my mental health and your videos always inspire me and have offered me so much help over the last couple of years. With all of this has come far too much financial hardship which i'm FINALLY coming out of now i'm in a stable living situation in my own place. I decided the best way to pay it forward was to contribute to you here through patreon, something i've been wanting to do for a long time, its only a little now, but i hope in the future to be able to do much more as i feel its so important to spread awareness and dispell stigma. The question i had concerns therapy. Life is coming together right now, after waiting 18 months for an assessment on the NHS, i was finally put on the waiting list for individual therapy, but told it would be another 6-8 months. Then last week, the same day i found out about my new home, i got a call that i had been refered to specialist therapy after a review and i would be able to start seeing someone this side of christmas. Its fabulous news, but i'm concerned about staying safe now i'm starting therapy, especially considering i'll be living alone now. What advise do you have for coping stratergies and self care? Thankyou again, sorry this comment got a bit long.