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More Livestreams!! Ask your questions below!! (Patreon)

Published:
2016-12-29 19:23:25
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

I will be doing 2 livestreams this week! One tomorrow (12/30) at noon PST & another one on 12/31 at 1pm PST!! I missed you all last week and hope you had a lovely holiday! 

Comments

Rachel Rae

Yay! Hope you guys had a lovely Christmas :) I'm kind of glad it's all over, waaaay too much stress for something that's suppose to be a holiday. Thanks for the YouTube vid, perfect for the new year! :) xox

Keely Pearmain

I hope you guys had a lovely holiday, I can't wait for the live stream tomorrow x I'm starting to think that I'm not worth the help. Things are hard at work and I've had to change my shifts, but that has meant that I've had to cancel my first therapy appointment. But surely If I wanted to help myself then I wouldn't have cancelled so easily? I just don't know what to do right now. I can't do right for doing wrong. I hope you're all ok xx love kee

Adelina Thim

I'm probably gonna miss both of those which makes me sad but I have a question regardless! Since I was about 12 or 13 (which was also when I started to experience symptoms of depression that I'm now diagnosed with) I've been "attaching" a lot to female teachers and role-models in media, and from listening to your videos on attachment I've decided that that's what it is. However, my mom has always been there for me and cared for me as I needed, and over the years I've also come to realise that I'm gay and that those attachments could just as well have been crushes - only they don't feel like it. How can I tell them apart? And if I attach to female teachers, why??

Jana S.
>>3423983

Hey Keely, I think you might be just a little bit afraid. Is it your first therapy appointment ever? Because if it is, it's totally normal to be scared (It's also normal if it isn't your first therapy appointment ever, but if it is, it's especially understandable if you are afraid..^^) and maybe it was easy for you to delay it because of that. But I would just reschedule! Get another appointment and see how it goes. You have nothing to lose. I think therapy can't hurt and you'll probably have to see a couple of therapists anyway, before you can really start. (Unless you're really lucky and you click with the first therapist immediately, which I obviously hope for for you. - Sorry my english is crappy. I hope you get what I mean..) Hope you still had a great christmas and you're getting through the stuff at work. Best wishes, Jana

Jana S.
>>3423900

Same here. Couldn't have put it into better words.^^ I also really enjoyed the videos and 8 days never felt so long... :/

Jennifer Hall

Heya Kati!! One question that I've really wondered is this... When we experience anxiety, like panic attacks, and we start to have physical symptoms is it because our brain is misinterpeting signals because of the anxiety? From my knowledge, anything related to mental illness is a potentional chemical imblance so if anxiety has the ability to create a chemical imblance then when we experience chest pain, inability to catch our breath, dizziness, etc would that be our brain misinterpeting the anxiety? Sorry, if that is way too confusing or doesn't make sense! Thank you Kati!!

Keely Pearmain
>>3423983

Thanks for the reply Hun, it's not my first therapy session ever, I have seen a therapist before but got hurt. So it's a huge step and I was really positive about the whole thing. Just feel like I've been kicked down again

Jennifer Mackay

Hi Kati, I have real problems with connecting with people, I either shut everyone out which has resulted in never going out and having no friends which is horrible and lonely OR I get attached to people really quickly and feel like I can't live without them! This feels worse as a lot of the time it's people like that help me and I open up to, like support workers, mental health worker or drs. I became so attached to my support worker that when she left I genuinely felt like I was grieving. No one understood and told me people leave that's life. I am 39 and all my life I have never had 'normal' relationships. I keep people out now so I don't get attached. This is so so confusing. Advice would be appreciated. Thankyou

Christina Martin

Hi Kati I wanted to thank you for the helpful information you share. I have found your videos very helpful and hopeful. I have a question regarding recovery from depression. I experienced a very bad episode of depression with suicidal impulses a few months ago. Fortunately I have a very good therapist and I received the medical attention and safety that I needed. I have improved very well but I am very fearful now of relapsing and remaining stable. I am very eager to be well and continue with EMDR therapy. I have been practicing the tools I've been taught and faithful taking my medication and still have suicidal impulses occasionally. Is there something else I need to be doing to overcome the fear of losing my mental and emotional stability again and stop the impulses. Am I expecting too much too soon with unreasonable expectations?

Carys Lewington

(I am trying to rephrase the question from last time, as I feel it was misunderstood.) I have been allowing myself to be happy however when I do I find it hard to think things through/think ahead. This causes problems that don't occur when I feel depressed where it is natural for me to do this. When I feel happy and start to think things through it causes me to fall back into the depressed state. Hence I feel stuck and would appreciate any advice. Kind regards, Carys.

Amy

Hey Kati - thanks again for answering our questions xxxxx. My question is regarding anti-depressants. I am taking a high dose of Effexor which is the 3rd anti depressant that I have tried and it has been great in helping me with my depression and feeling like I have my head above the water and I can really begin utilising my strategies etc however my anxiety is really bad (skin picking, ED tendencies are back and constant worry). I thought antidepressants usually target both depression and anxiety related issues??? Does this mean some people have to take another type of medication to help with their anxiety? I couldn't find a video you had done on antidepressants - is there one that focuses specifically on medication? Thanks again for your help. Xx

Keely Pearmain
>>3423983

I'm just feeling so useless, I'm just running myself round in circles, I just can't win. Honestly don't know what to do, I've now come of my meds because they weren't working, and I actually feel no different compared to when I was on them. I never cry, I've not cried since my nan passed away and that was 14 years ago. But this passed week I'm crying without any valid reason I just feel like I've let myself down.. like always. And it's not because of the medication because it's only been a couple of days that I've stopped taking them and I was like this before I stopped them. I'm just on the edge all the time, I want to disappear. I'm meant to be going on holiday in 2 weeks and I'm pretending to be happy and excited, but I'm not. I'm dreading it, I'd rather stay in bed for 2 weeks. Sorry to be a drag people I just don't know where to turn or what to do for the best. I'm sorry xx

Mary Redden

Hi, Kati! Welcome back. :) I hope the holiday season is treating you well! Basically, I was wondering about how common it is for bi-polar symptoms to slowly increase in intensity over time. I've read that, on average symptoms of BP tend to make themselves known (as in, like, someone has their first episode) at around 25. To use myself as an example, I've had what I considered to be just depression for about a decade now. As I've gotten older (I'm 23 now), I've noticed that I've actually been having minor hypomanic episodes throughout my depression. This past week, I had a pretty intense experience (like nothing I've felt before, truthfully) which has led me to the realization about these phases actually being hypomania. So, to get to the point, my question was just regarding how often you've seen similar things happen to clients you've seen. Sorry lol I tried to keep that short, but I wanted to make sure it made some semblance of sense haha. Thanks for all you do btw :)

Jana S.
>>3423983

I so feel your pain. I feel similar, eventhough I guess it isn't as severe for me as it is for you. :/ I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad.. Hopefully the livestream will lift you up!! - I was hurt by my previous therapist as well and have to get through the "first sessions" with new therapist again right now, too. I question all the time, wether I'm "sick enough" to be in therapy anyways and if it's worth it, since it hasn't helped me very much so far... But I'll try to stay positive and do look forward to my next appointment, eventhough I also feel a lot of pressure to put my "problems" into right words so the new therapist understands and it's not a waste of time (again).... :/ Question for you, Kati relating to this: How sick does one have to be to be "officially" "sick enough" for therapy? (Do therapist actually send away people if they think thery are "too healthy and functional" for therapy?) I still hope you're going to have a great holiday, Keely! :) I'll be skiing from January 2nd and I am probably ging to enjoy it a lot, eventhough I can't really get in the spirit of looking forward to it either. Well, I send you warm regards and best wishes and have a happy new year's eve (and obviously also a happy new year! ;)). And don't worry you're not dragging anyone down!! Here's the place to talk freely about this kind of stuff! :) xxxx

Hannah

Hi Kati! From snapchat I know you've had a bit of a stressful holiday time with your grandma but hope you're well. I've been a part of a pro-eating-disorder community for a long time and have become really good friends with some of the people over time and I rely on them to vent my feelings etc as they understand how I feel... however, I'm sure it's not healthy for my recovery to be friends with them?! What would you suggest? All my love X

Mags

How common is it to still have a relationship with an an abuser. Growing up i was abused by a number of people, one happened to be a close relative. I hated her for years, but when i put a partition up and decided she was young and was being abused by an adult at the time, i managed to be okay with her. As long as i don't think about it or talk about triggering things its okay. We have found ommon ground in longs of other things and are friends. sometimes i worry this isn't healthy, thoughts?

Brittanyann

Hello Kati! My attitude towards people can change dramatically, I feel like its because they do something or say something but sometimes after a week or two I feel ridiculous for how intense my anger got. Sometimes It just happens and I cant remember or pinpoint why I felt so much hatred towards them. I don't really know how to explain it other than I hate everything about them; the way they talk, they way they act, even the way they sit. I was on a vacation to Canada with my Grandma and on the fourth night my attitude changed I obsessed about everything I hated about her for example I felt that she always makes things about her and everything she did pissed me off, the way she sat, the way she dressed, the way she talked and the fact that she snores. I don't know why my attitude changed so quickly. We got along well the first 3 nights. It is very hard to snap myself out of it when it happens and try to think of positive things and it lasts so long. Do you have any suggestions on how I can handle this better than ignoring or snapping on them? Also where could this be coming from? I don't really understand why I can even think such hateful things about people. it makes me feel like a terrible person. Thank you and I hope you have a wonderful New Year!

Keely Pearmain

Kati, sorry for bombarding everyone. Do you think that inpatients would be helpful for me? I don't necessarily have an eating disorder, I don't eat properly and I'm not healthy. But I mean about being admitted more for my depression, self harm, anxiety and suicidal thoughts because they're getting a lot worse as you can probably tell. But I've got the huge holiday coming up, I can't not go on holiday nor can I lose the money that I've spent on it. I'm just stuck between a rock and a hard place. I think I need someone to take control of my care for a little while, but I'm scared shitless xx loved the live stream and hope you and Sean are all good x

Kirbie

Hi Kati! This question is a little late sorry about that! Anyways! How do you deal with "letting go" of a toxic person when it is someone you love and care for dearly? This person has constantly made me feel like I am the toxic one in the relationship but I am slowly realizing that is not the case. I know I need to accept the fact that they are toxic to me and move on but I just can't for some reason. Like things will be all good and then they act out towards me and I go back to thinking there is something wrong with me and like I am messed up even though I have worked through it and know it's not me. It's like in the moment my mind just kinda throws all logic aside and I don't process things like I should. I love this person so much and I know I need to accept that they are toxic to me and then move on and not blame myself but no matter what I have tried or how much I have talked about it I can't get past it and I don't know why.

Sydney

Hey Kati! I love everything you do! My question is how to get the courage to start therapy. For me, I feel like therapy is something I need to do and it will help so much. I feel like it's the first step in getting help. I'm not sure what's up with me but I want to get the help. I'm just really scared with starting it. It scares me. I'm 21 years old and haven't been to therapy at all before. Lately I have been depressed, and not me. Well anyway, I think therapy will help but it really scares me to actually start it.

Carrie Pilkington

Hi katie thankyou so much .I'm not looking forward to the new year wish sespsi took me this year I'm finding I'm sleeping a lot tired shattered got fibromyalgia. Started I talk here in the UK.

Carrie Pilkington

Hi kati thankyou .I've started CBT.with I talk .in uk .3 weeks in .my church keep saying I need to do councelling through the hurt I've been though when stronger I'm confused. Is that what I'm doing now do I need to do both .pressure is a lot .I find it so hard have no friends

Adelina Thim
>>3424031

Thank you so much for answering my question in the livestream yesterday. I think I've been confused becuse as other girls fell for famous actors and guy teachers I just attached to female teachers, so when I realized I'm gay I just figured that was why. But yeah, it's definitely always been more longing for care and warmth than anything physical. I haven't been through any trauma though.. not sure what the other thing you thought of was? And I'm at least not diagnosed with BPD. Have found this hard to talk about with my therapist because it seems a bit silly. Anyways. You're super, and happy new year!

Siobhan

Hi Kati! At what point in a new relationship do you tell your partner that you have a mental illness? Happy New year!!!

Airborne

Hey Kati Im looking for a male inpatient BPD program. Do you have any recommendations? I have been in DBT group and individual therapy for almost two years. I have participated in a variety of different modalities running the gamut of CBT to CPT, Exposure Therapy to STAIR nothing has resonated with me. I don't believe I have gotten any better. I still have daily ideation and self harm paired with CPTSD. All of my treatment is conducted by the Veterans Administration. My trauma began at 4 and continued until 12, and prostituted from 8 to 12, I was raped in the Army at 18. I have had 6 combat tours 2 in Afghanistan, 2 in Iraq, Panama in 89, and Somalia in 93. In 2011 I worked for the US State Department processing refugees in East Africa for resettlement to America. I did this for a few years until I was burned out. I am now on Veteran Disability, as well as Social Security Disability. Any guidance you could provide would be helpful.

wearcape.fly

hi kati! thank you so much for all that you do. i really appreciate it! i'm wondering what your thoughts are on medical marijuana to treat MDD? I was diagnosed with MDD a couple of years ago and hate being dependent on my medication. what do you think?

Nicky Fitch

Please could you talk about stockpiling tablets? My counsellor has told me / wants me to get rid of them and I just can't! I tried to and my heart was racing and I had severe anxiety. I need to keep them! I couldn't and can't bin them 😔

Keely Pearmain
>>3434504

It's all got worse today, my old therapist that really hurt me has decided to email me and wish me a happy new year, she also said "you're going to be ok, you've got this" how does she know? After not being there when I really needed her! I'm so messed up right now. X

Melanie Paul

The day after having my dose of Zoloft increased, I was very energetic and didn't feel the need to sleep and self-harmed in a totally different way than usual because I thought it was a brilliant idea at the time and was really curious about what it would feel like. The next day I totally crashed and was very depressed and became suicidal for a few days. My psychiatrist lowered my dose afterwards, but does this mean anything or is this a normal problem that can happen with SSRIs?

Angela Everett

I see a psychiatrist for therapy only once every 4 weeks, as I cant trust anyone else, but I feel too many emotions towards him, I guess like transference, but dont you need to see a therapist more often for transference to happen? I'm scared of my feelings :(

Airborne

Kati, I'm tired. I wish I wasn't but I am. I'm not suicidal I just really wouldn't mind if I didn't wake up. I've been inpatient for SI and genuine attempts so many times, it seems pointless almost punitive at this point. If I had a dual diagnosis then it seems like it would be easier, I just don't think getting an addiction would help lol. however it does seem that inpatient for addictions is less "locked down" I'm kinda at my wits end. Im just tired of being "sick" I am tired of taking all the meds (a handful in the morning and a handful in the evening) Im sick of not leaving the house but wanting to go somewhere. uggg I'm just so frustrated like an over tightened guitar string.

Airborne

How do you talk to a mental health worker and tell the truth and not get locked down for me

Airborne

I tink it does more damage than good.

Airborne

I know they error on the safe side

Mags

Just wanted to thank you Kati for doing the live stream tonight and for so long. It really gave me something to focus on, i've had a terrible day today, one of my worst in ages and yet again been let down. I held it together to watch the live stream and now i'm tired enough to go to sleep. got me through another day.

Hannah
>>3433478

Thank you so so much for answering my question! Great live stream as always☺ Happy New Year Everyone!!

Carrie Pilkington

can i have address pls to post items to you thanks

Kati Morton
>>3423983

I have to agree with Jana. It is scary to reach out for help.. and it's normal to not want to go, even though we know we need the support. I hope the conversations we had on the livestream were helpful :) You have our support!! and know that we just have to focus on taking it one step at a time. xoxo You are worth the fight.. and reaching out for help is hard.. but SO worth it!! xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3424031

I would bring it up with your therapist if you can.. because it's really common!! xoxo It could just be that some of the support you wanted or needed wasn't given? Cause parents can be there, but not in the way that we need.. does that make sense? If that's not the case, it could just be that you are wanting support that isn't from your family, and instead want it to be from women you look up to, and who are role models to you.. just a few other thoughts. xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3424375

Hey!! Since our brain runs our entire body.. if things aren't going well mentally, our body feels it. Just like when we are depressed we can feel achy and tired. It's really our brain experiencing the anxiety.. and expressing it physically. It's very normal, so don't worry, and once we get our anxiety under control through behavioral techniques or by getting it treated with medication, those physical symptoms will go away. xoxo If you want more info you can google somatic symptoms of anxiety :) xxo

Kati Morton
>>3425771

I will have a video coming out about attachment this thursday. but I do have others if you want to search for them as well :) There are therapists who specialize in attachment therapy, and can help us better understand where these issues are coming from and help us practice healthy relationships :) So you can look into that if you have some in your area. I also think that DBT workbook (it's by McKay) can really help too!! xxo

Keely Pearmain
>>3423983

Thank you Hun x I'm going to doctors and contacting the mental health tomorrow to see what options are. I'm just worried that after the holiday I'll have nothing to look forward to. I'm going to explain it all to them and see what they say. Just a case of me being honest with them and not caring about being judged x thank you for everything Hun x

Kati Morton
>>3426370

It sounds like you are doing everything to help yourself and get through this :) Go you!! Know that it's normal to worry about relapse..especially when we have only been doing well for a few months. So do you best to be patient.. as your mind catches up with where you are in recovery and has the time to take in all of your progress. Something you could do to help it along.. is to write down 3-5 things that have improved or that went well today. Do this each and every day.. if you are having a particularly bad day, try to do it once in the morning and once at night. Keep me posted!! I hope that helps :) xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3426408

Do you feel like you get stuck in negative thought cycles?? Cause thinking things through or thinking ahead isn't always a negative thing.. unless we are getting stuck in negative thoughts. Is that what's happening?? If so (and I hope I am understanding your question.. if not, message me on here okay:) I would spend some time each day focusing on the positive. For example, start each day with 3 things you are looking forward to (it could be as simple as the fact that you get to take a hot shower, etc) And end each day with 3 things you are thankful (that you made it to work on time, saw a friend, etc). I hope that helps a bit.. let me know if not :) xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3443711

That is a completely normal thing that can happen with antidepressants. Just so you know, the most common side effects are increased energy and difficulty sleeping. xoxo That's why they lowered your dose. xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3443888

You don't have to see someone really often in order to get transference.. it can happen for many reasons. One of the most common is if they remind us of someone. That could be what's happening to you. I would encourage you to bring this up with him next time.. and if you can get into therapy that could help too :) xoxo It's completely normal to have this response.. and talking about it really helps. xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3438895

I would listen to what feels best for you.. you are in therapy now to get some techniques to better manage what you are feeling and going through. CBT can help you process the hurt you have been through.. but if you feel it's not helping with that, bring it up with your CBT therapist :) Sounds like you are making great strides to get the help you need.. I think CBT is going to be so helpful for you!! xoxo I would just focus on that.. and not worry about what other people are saying. They are not you and they are not in therapy.. you are. xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3433751

It's honestly up to you.. if you think it's healthy and okay for you.. then it is okay. But if you feel pressured to make it okay.. or you find it more upsetting them helpful, then I wouldn't have you stay in contact. Only you know what's best for you and your recovery.. i would check in with yourself periodically about this, but if you are okay with it, then I think it's fine :) xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3433784

Do you think this is linked to something going on with you? Cause it doesn't sound like they have to do anything to cause this.. it sort of just happens.. right?? This could come from many things.. it could be you getting worn out or tired, or having your own stress and not knowing how it's affecting you.. it could honestly be a lot of different things. I would first try taking better care of yourself. For example.. taking 20 mins every day to do something nice for yourself. This could be journaling, coloring, listening to your favorite music, spending time with friends, etc. By giving yourself time to vent, process what you are feeling and care for yourself a bit more, hopefully this urge to snap at people and feeling like your attitude towards them can change so quickly, will go away :) Keep me posted!! xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3444553

Yay! I am so glad I could be helpful and an extra support when you needed it :) xoxo

Carys Lewington
>>3426408

I definitely get caught in negative thought cycles especially catastrophisation. I suppose when I say thinking ahead I mean in terms of what I need to plan for or need to be doing practically in order for things to work. E.g. I will go shopping and not have my phone or money; or bring it and not pay attention to having left it somewhere. (And a day is the longest this will last at the moment. It is usually only about a couple of hours) Thank-you :)

Kati Morton
>>3435130

In truth.. it can take time. We have to give ourselves time to grieve the loss of them.. because even though they were toxic we loved them and had a relationship with them. If you find yourself wanting to get back in touch with them and "repair" the relationship.. i would encourage you to keep a list of things that have happened in the past. the things that were hurtful and reasons for ending the relationship. That way you don't get sucked back in.. it takes time, but trust me, after a while you will slowly be able to grieve the loss and move on. Just remember it's okay to be sad and upset about it. Keeping that list can really help push through though. xoxo I hope that helps honey! I am so proud of you for doing this! xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3437793

In truth I think it's always going to be a bit scary.. but I have a video that hopefully will help :) <a href="https://youtu.be/9FiVVAOXiEQ" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/9FiVVAOXiEQ</a> and something else that can help is having a support person with you. Maybe they can call and make the appointment for you.. and even go with you and wait in the waiting room during your first appt. In truth it's not as scary as we think it's going to be.. we just have to get through that first one :) I hope that helps honey!! xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3443666

In all truth, I haven't had any clients use it. I know it's helped a few of my friends with their anxiety.. but I haven't had anyone use it for depression. I would talk with your doctor about it.. if it's legal in your area, then they should know more about it and be able to help you make the right decision for you. xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3444129

I would definitely tell her.. she will not report anything unless you plan to do it again. I would tell her just what you told me, and make sure you say that you think you want to live. We only place you in the hospital if we worry about you hurting yourself now. We don't act after the fact. I would also ask her to help you come up with a safety plan and I would also have you spend some time looking back on that attempt and when it got bad enough to try. That way we can figure out how to help before it gets that bad again.. does that make sense?? I hope that helps! I am glad you are still here :) xxoo

Kati Morton
>>3444307

Have you tried different treatment options?? Maybe the inpatient treatments you tried weren't very good or therapeutic. I hope some of the recommendations I mentioned on the livestream are helpful for you :) xoxo

Sydney
>>3437793

The video definitely helped! Thank you so much! I'm still scared but I do feel slightly better!

Adelina Thim
>>3424031

This definitely makes sense to me. It started as I was self-harming and the last thing I wanted was for my parents to find out that I was hurting, but the thought of a teacher or role-model knowing and caring for me and comforting me was something I would long for. Yayy I got my very own "does that make sense?" lol. Thank you again, Kati.

Kirbie
>>3435130

Thank you so much!! :) I am definitely going to make that list it sounds like it will help! :)

Brittanyann
>>3433784

I forgot to add in that the night before i started feeling angry towards her, she was being rude to me and nagging on me about stupid things. the. After that i was like a sitting time bomb. If she even said anything the wrong way or even the slighest bit what i felt was passive agression id snap. When before I'd just ignore her comments. After an argument i would think and try to process it but all id think of is how much i hate her. Id try and do deep breathing to ease the knots in my stomach, which it did, a little but not enough to let it go and forget. Where as she would be laughy and trying to joke with me a few hours later or the next day. I guess what im trying to say is I was upset with my grandma after the first time she got angry with me but my mood does this all the time. I dont get over things, i dwell on it and its just like this bubble full of hatred that id create and as soon as someone does something i think is attacking me it would pop. Another example is I was best friends with someone; going over to their house every night and just hanging out having fun, always texting them and now I'm going on over 5 months with hardly talking to her getting upset about all the new friends she hangs out with and how she chose them over me. I know your super busy answering people's questions but in case you do run across this I wanted to respond to further explain because it has been happening more intesnly recently and looking back I think I have been doing this for as long as I can remember. Being close with someone then not talking and hating them and then liking them again. It's like a circle. I dont think its because i'm mad at myself so i'm projecting that onto her as an outlet. If that makes sense..

Mags
>>3433751

Thats kind of what i was thinking, so its good to hear that i'm not behaving in an abnormal kind of way.