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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VBM2576IJKLykvXVK-kD2jIlSSNBhXQPWezoH_-q9v4/edit?usp=sharing

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Comments

Nicolas

For the part where they comment “Palsys” I would recommended you use “persistent/intermittent tremors instead. We just don’t use “Palsys” in the hospital much. Also it is a little confusing for those that don’t medical jargon.

Nicolas

But loved the chapter😍! Cant wait to see if/what trait he gets😝

Uroš

I didn't think about using grit razor to free the sword. But why didn't he just hold the spell for the maximum time until it started being useless? I remember there was a bit about grit razor charge time when he first learned it, and something about if it was held for too long it'd turn into useless dust.

Illuminaria

Because his fingers were in the crack. Dentonating that spell at full strength in such closed quarters, even with damage resistance on his hands, could have done some serious damage to himself. But you do have that right. If Joe overcharges [Grit Razor], the spell fizzles out.

Raven

How could you stop here?!

Illuminaria

Sorry Raven. Chapter sizes are killing me. I was trying to keep them to 1.5k words per, but I suck at it. 2K is now my target. 18-22 actually. This may be why I have so many cliffhanger chapters.