Chapter Gold City ll - Will to Move on

It’s been a week since what happened at the hot springs.

It’s been a week since I last talked to Gold City.

Thoughts have been flooding my mind ever since. I’ve involuntarily started avoiding her, and I’ve begun to hate myself for it.

As much as that day is important to me, it’s just as important that I don’t screw up what we have.

I’ve never had a love life before, and just thinking about these type of things makes my head go numb.

I don’t understand what I feel for Gold City, but I’m sure I don’t want to make her cry if I don’t feel the same way about her.

So, I’m kind of in a weird spot. I’m trying to understand how I really feel about her, while at the same time, I can’t bring myself to talk to her.

I must really look like an asshole after all.

Since then, all we’ve talked about has been superficial stuff, like training schedules and about the other girls on the team.

I’ve run out of options. I really don’t understand this kind of stuff...

So, as a last resort, I sent a message to Nishino Flower.

“Flower-chan, I need your help ASAP!”

Apparently, over these two years at Tracen, she’s become some sort of “Love Guru.” A lot of girls have been coming to her for advice about their love lives, and she’s been more than happy to give advice to all these lovestruck girls.

Her love advices became very popular, very quickly too.

So, as her trainer, I need to verify these rumors for myself.

But of course, that’s a lie. I’m just desperate enough to ask for help from a girl who’s younger than my little sister.

“Did something happen, Trainer?”

“I need your advice on something.”

She started replying to my messages without even a second passing, like she was genuinely interested in whatever I had to say.

Knowing Flower, I knew she wouldn’t refuse. But somehow, I didn’t expect her to show up at my dormitory door a few hours later with a tea set in her hands and an expression full of curiosity.

“Flower-chan, sorry to bother you during your free time.”

She’s wearing that cute pink dress she and City gave her last Christmas as a gift for winning the Henshin Juvenile Fillies.

I remember spending way too long trying to figure out what would suit her. Seeing her still wearing it makes me feel a little proud.

Although, considering the circumstances, I wish she had chosen something a little less cheerful.

She looks like she’s here to solve the biggest problem of my life.

“Sit down, Trainer. I brought everything we need to start our session. Where’s your kitchen?”

After talking much faster than I could comprehend, she rushed off toward the kitchen in the living room.

Somehow, my head already hurts knowing I may have brought trouble to my trainee.

It may not seem like it, but Flower is very important to me, as she reminds me a lot of my little sister, who moved over to France with our Grandma. She always make time to help me with something I struggle with. She's very gentle.

I sit at the table in the middle of the living room, and after a few minutes, Flower sits down in front of me, serving tea for both of us.

Her tea set is very sophisticated and looks expensive. I wonder if this might have been a gift from someone. After all, Flower has become pretty popular this past year.

I start tapping my fingers while she waits for me to start talking.

I mean, is there a normal way to start talking about this kind of stuff?

Should I start from before we got to the hot springs, or while we were at that park?

And should I talk about my embarrassing dee-

“So, did you two kiss?”

What?

“What?”

“Kanzaki-kun, you two went to a hot spring all by yourselves, and when you came back, you started acting weird. It doesn’t take a genius to understand that something happened between you two.”

I somehow underestimated everyone around me, thinking they would never figure out that something had happened.

But when Flower starts calling me by my name, I know I’m in the wrong.

“You two aren’t exactly the best at keeping secrets, either.”

And here I was thinking I was doing a good job of keeping it a secret.

Yet somehow, it doesn’t make me feel like an idiot.

At least I don’t have to explain all the embarrassing parts of the story.

“Y-yes...” I answer, a little flustered.

“But we haven’t talked about it since that day.”

She takes a sip of her tea with a soft expression.

I feel like I could talk about every problem in my life right now, and she would listen to every single one of them.

It feels nice.

“Why haven’t you two talked about it yet?” she asks calmly.

“I think that’s my fault. I’ve been avoiding her ever since.”

I pause.

I take a deep breath.

This will be the second time I’ve talked about my problems with a trainee.

Thinking about it, I’ve probably failed as a trainer.

I should be the one standing there listening to their problems, not the other way around.

“The truth is, at the hot springs, we shared a bit about how we felt, and it led to her kissing me.”

“But?”

She saw right through me.

“But I want to understand myself first. I need to know if I really like her. I’ve never had any experience with love in my life. I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like to love someone.”

“And you’re afraid of letting her down if you don’t actually love her?”

“Yes...”

I look down at my tea.

“I care too much about what we already have. And because of that, I could never forgive myself if I made her cry.”

I pause.

“So I don’t want to make the mistake of making a fool out of her.”

This should be enough for her to understand.

I’m not very good at conveying my feelings, either.

Real-life experience has been lacking in that department.

“So, in other words, you want to make her happy.”

“Yes...”

“Trainer, isn’t that enough to know that you love her?”

I stare at the tea in front of me.

I’ve been thinking too much about not wanting her to cry anymore, not wanting to let her down.

But the answer was right in front of me all this time.

A simple phrase carrying the meaning of love itself.

I want to make her happy.

Honestly, how can a man be such a fool?

In the end, I already knew the answer myself.

I was just too blinded by my own pessimism to see what was right in front of me.

"You seem to be beating around the bush for an answer to a question you already know."

“So, when will you tell her?”

I nervously sip my tea.

It’s bitter.

Both the tea and the feeling inside me.

It took me this long to realize it, but it’s true.

I want, above all else, to make her happy.

“How should I approach her?”

“Just be yourself, Trainer. She loves you. Maybe just be quick.”

She finishes her cup of tea.

“After all, there’s a bomb of uncertainty inside her right now. She confessed her love to you, and ever since the kiss, you haven’t answered her. Every minute that passes makes that bomb stronger and stronger.”

Of course, she’s right.

I’m being too selfish.

While I was thinking about not wanting to make her sad, I never stopped to consider how she must be feeling right now.

God, I must be the worst.

My uncertainty must have made her suffer for too long already.

I get up from my chair and rush toward the door without thinking much.

Today is Sunday, but she must still be training.

I look back, and Flower is already serving herself another cup of tea.

“Sorry, Flower. You’re right. I can’t make her wait anymore.”

I can’t see her face with her back turned toward the door, but I know she must be smiling softly.

I run to the main training grounds at the academy.

I’m not at my best, but I’m still pretty fast. Sweat starts running down my face as all these thoughts rush through my mind.

I imagine her smile again.

The expressions she made at the springs.

I want to see them again.

I want to hear her silly jokes again.

I want to see her overcome her weaknesses again.

I want to be at her side.

My legs don’t feel numb.

The weather is a bit chilly, so I won’t get heatstroke.

And while I run, I scream:

“Why the hell is the trainer dorm so far away from the academy anyway, goddammit?!”

As I approach the training grounds, I hear the loud pounding of footsteps from the track.

Is something happening there?

Tap, tap, tap.

Three... no, two pairs of feet hitting the ground.

She’s racing someone.

“Whoa, Kanzaki-san?”

A tall man with black hair stands near the turf.

That’s Hifumi Maeda-san, Tosen Jordan’s trainer.

“You look tired. Can I get you some water?” Maeda-san is gentle as always.

“No, thank you. I’m fine. Why are they racing on a Sunday morning?”

“Well, you could say it’s my fault. I said Gold City seemed a bit upset, and that sparked a bit of a discussion between the two of them, fast forward a bit and now they're racing against each other.”

The two of them are racing on the turf.

Gold City appears to be giving it her all, and Jordan doesn’t like being left behind, so it seems they’re both going all out.

Gold City’s gaze meets mine, and she loses a bit of momentum, falling behind Jordan.

“Did you need something from City, Kanzaki-san?”

“Yes.”

I go up the stands, as high as I can get.

This is the moment.

I can’t waste another second.

She’s going to hear me, and it’s going to be embarrassing as hell.

“GOLD CITY!”

“DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT LOSING!”

She doesn’t seem to hear me, so I somehow manage to scream even louder, despite panting from all the running I did to get here.

“BECAUSE THE GOLD CITY I KNOW WOULD BE HELLA PISSED ABOUT LOSING TO JORDAN! SHE’D BE MENTIONING IT EVERY DAY FOR A FULL WEEK!”

She hates losing.

But she hates losing because she didn’t give it her all even more.

“IF YOU DON’T GIVE IT YOUR ALL NOW, YOU’LL BE SAD ABOUT IT LATER! AND I HATE SEEING YOU SAD!”

I do.

More than anything.

After getting to know your smile, you gave me my will to move on.

That’s why I want to see more of it.

I want to see more...

No.

I want to see all of Gold City.

Every expression.

Every lame joke.

Every harsh comment.

Every complaint.

All of it.

“BECAUSE I LOVE THE HAPPY GOLD CITY!”

The beautiful Uma Musume I met during one of the most desperate moments of my life.

The stunning beauty who made me never want to look away again.

“BECAUSE I LOVE THE BEAUTIFUL GOLD CITY!”

The one who can truly call me out whenever I do something stupid.

The one who can stand against my painfully obvious bad ideas.

“BECAUSE I LOVE THE HARSH GOLD CITY!”

Because that’s who I want to be with for the rest of my life.

The woman who can make her own decisions.

The woman who doesn’t want to be told what to do.

“BECAUSE I LOVE THE STRONG GOLD CITY!”

The goddess who taught me how to be myself.

Because...

“BECAUSE!”

I love.

“I LOVE!”

You.

“YOU!”

Ah.

Now I’ve done it.

This may be the most embarrassing moment of my life.

There are a few students passing by on the other side of the turf, and I’m one hundred percent sure they heard me.

While I’m still processing what I just did, Gold City’s final spurt carries her past Jordan.

Her golden hair flows like the wind as she crosses the improvised finish line, finishing about two lengths ahead.

An astonishing performance.

And somehow, it makes me feel alive.

She crosses the line and doesn’t stop for even a second, immediately turning toward me.

Being so high, makes so I can’t quite see her face.

I can’t tell if she’s furious or happy about my little speech.

I turn to Maeda-san for help, only to realize that he has completely covered his face with his hands in secondhand embarrassment.

Jordan looks at me from the finish line with a smirk while she pants.

I’m probably screwed.

So I get down from the stands and walk toward her.

As I get closer, I finally start to see her face.

She rushes toward me, tears flowing down her face, her happy expression, the one I swore to protect, outshining the very sun in the sky.

“I-I love you too.”

She grabs me by the collar and presses her lips against mine.

“You’re late, dumbass...”

She buries her face in my shoulder.

I can’t blame her.

I took too long to make up my mind.

Sorry for being a dumbass.