A couple of recent grievances and lame shit (Patreon)

Generaly ive been doing rly good these past few days, which managed to absolutely make me madder about the things that are going bad.1 - generaly ive always tried to do diffrent kinds of bodytypes. i've tried to push myself to always try to draw body diversity, and also specialy dont try to do those 0% bodytype kind of designs that anime waifus tend to have. and i just saw people so openly, publicaly, in great GREAT numbers lusting after those bland-ass genshin impact girls and even calling some of them "thicc" and i just. i felt rly damn bummed out. i'm just so tired of how the mainstream has such a frustrating taste on character design and bodytypes. and i don't want to be like those anime artists, yknow? i genuinely like my style! i genuinely like what i do and the women i draw.2 - the past week i've drawn some of the best, most gorgeous and interesting works of art i've ever fucking drawin in my entire LIFE. i am usualy rarely proud of myself over anything i do, to me its just routine! But those past few arts; the flowers Dawn saturated/desaturated poster, The celestial bonnie, the meredith moonlight and even the deltarune 2 skyline suselle arts; they are genuinely some of the best pieces of arts ihave EVER drawn in my entire life. and on places like twitter? i got under 2 digits retweets in those arts. like the most retweets i got were on merediths one, like, 45 retweets? which is NOT very fucking good. it's *something* but its barely anything, and i think the starling post got like 5 retweets! its like effort and passion are completely meaningless and it makes me feel genuinely at a lossAll this effort i put into trying to do better, and its so obvious how easier it is to achieve success by just following trends and i just. i dont want to, i'm my own worst enemy. My desire for this weird sense of originality is one of the primary things sabotaging me from mainstream sucess!!!  ...which i need to live, even if i dont want it.i'm told i need to socialize with other artists, but i hate that kind of interaction with strangers, trying to bond just for clout. i'm told i need to retweet a lot and post my every thought but i want to be an art account above all. I understand the website isnt to be used the way i use it, but my anger over 3 retweets only when i have 9K+ followers is justified.3 - twitter is fucking evil. i have over 9500 followers and when i ask for a promo theres like THREE RETWEETS. but when i offer to do a giveaway or a raffle, anything that involves free art? the retweets pile on at the speed of light, its so two-faced, i hate that website.Look, i. i don't know. i'm not gonna post any of these memes on main, i don't think. it's not the kind of art i like to post.but i feel tired out of this. genuinely its disheartening as hell. its the kind of thing that gets me thinking maybe i'm not cut out to be an freelance artist, that this isn't right for me.i should reiterate that i'm doing pretty good, my living condition is better and i'm loving the arts i do on my free time! i'm not going to give up, but this feeling is bad. I don't like it.