Vault 323 (Patreon)

You are walking along the wastelands outside Madison, Wisconsin. Before the war this was all pasture land, America's Dairy Land. Wisconsin University, or the ruins of it, lie ahead. There might be some good scrap worth salvaging. Maybe. You check you ammo and keep an eye out for danger. Who knows what might be lurking around here.

You come across the blasted foundations of The College Of Dairy Sciences. Milk bottles and beakers are strewn across the crater. But then you see it. It can't be!

A Vault Door! And it's open! In large, industrial yellow letters on the giant cog lock are written the numbers Three-Two-Thee. You remember hearing something an old timer once said. He said that there were only supposed to be One-Hundred-and-Twelve vaults. Maybe this one was off the books?

As your mind ponders what an off-the-books vault might mean you see something else. It's a carefully, yet also feverishly, handwritten sign on a piece of scrap wood just to the right of the door. It reads; "Farmhands Wanted". Is it a trap? How could there be a farm anywhere near here? Does this mean... there is a farm... in the vault?

You take a sip from your trusty canteen.

Then you hear it. Laughter. Decidedly feminine laughter, the soft giggling sounds wafting up from the inside of the open vault like beautiful silver chimes. Silver chimes... and cowbells?

Your heartbeat quickens. Your throat is suddenly dry. What the hell, you think, and head inside. You've already seen some of the worst the wasteland has to offer. What could be worse in there?

You pass through the vault door, feet treading lightly, your eyes scanning the corners, waiting for an ambush. You find a computer that is still running right there in the main entrance. You sit behind the desk and begin to read.

There is a sound behind you. It's the elevator sliding open. But you are so engrossed with the Overseer's Logs that you don't react quick enough. But it's already too late. You'll never leave Vault 323.... Not that you would ever want to.

Congratulations to Jay Aury for coming up with a real Nuka Blast of fun! As a long time fan of the game series, it was pretty fun to come up with this pinup, and of course, I HAD to do a Vault-Tec computer loadout to go along with it! Kinda cool that this lines up with the season finale of Season 2 of the Fallout Show!

And thanks Mr. Toon for suggesting that there should be a Mootant Green version of our Hucow Vault Dweller!