TBoB - Book 8 - Chapter 3 - A Night In (Patreon)

Hey everyone. I just wanted to say sorry for not posting yesterday. I had an extremely bad day and just couldn't get anything done.

I'm going to try and do a little writing this weekend to make up for the missed chapter, but we'll see if I manage it.Anyways, I hope you enjoy.“Weren’t you planning to learn how to cook?” Sharron asked as she stared at the plate of vegetable chips I slid onto the counter. “I have been! However, over the last few months I’ve learned that I’m terrible at it. Anything that requires more than three steps turns out practically inedible, so unless it’s a learning day I stick to the half dozen recipes that I know,” I replied, popping a chip into my mouth.

“Your cooking can’t be that bad,” Sharron said skeptically. “You spent years surviving on nothing more than Nutriblocks, and they tasted like cardboard.”

I turned and looked her straight in the eyes. “Un-fucking-edible. Jane has banned me from the kitchen unless I’m making vegetable chips, fries, stirfry or salad,” I said, before popping a chip into my mouth.“It’s actually quite impressive,” Nyx’s panda avatar declared as it wandered through the door. “I’ve never seen anyone turn vegetables into pure carbon so consistently as Evelyn. She’s not even trying to do it.”“Did you really just go and retrieve your avatar so you could make fun of my cooking skills?” I grumbled towards the bot.

Nyx paused for a moment then nodded. “Yes,” they replied, a huge shit eating grin spreading across their face. 

“Don’t you eat any meat?” Sharron asked.

“Oh sure,” I replied. “But since we can’t produce those in hydroponics bays, I have to order pretty much all of that through Nyx, and since I need to spend points on it I prefer to get it pre-cooked rather than raw.”“You could order it from a topside supermarket,” Sharron suggested. “It would be cheaper, and not require points to purchase.”“You mean that pre, post and re-prosessed slop that ‘may contain real meat products’?” I asked. “Pass. That shit is like twenty-five percent vegetable products, seventy percent filler, four percent chemicals, and one percent meat.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Sharron said.

“Nope. Have you ever looked at nutrition information on the side of one of those things? That’s exactly what it says on the label,” I said. “And you know the information they put on those labels is complete bullshit anyways. It’s probably closer to ninety-percent filler, nine percent chemicals, one percent other.”“You’re exaggerating,” Sharron snorted. 

“I wish,” I muttered. “Anyway, I wasn’t planning on making chips for dinner, I’m not an animal. They’re just an appetizer while I make the stir fry. Did you want something else for dinner?”“How about we get a roast chicken, or fish to add to the meal? It’s a celebration after all. The end of a campaign, and a triumphant return home,” Sharron declared. 

“Anything but fish,” I moaned. “I’ve had enough of sea-life, or more precisely sea-based abominations, to last me several life times. I don’t think I’ll ever look at sea-food the same way again.”“Didn’t we encounter most of those same models way back when we first came to Seattle?” Sharron asked. “Why didn’t they put you off Seafood then?”“Well, mostly because I never fought them inside the water, so I just equated them to the normal Antithesis models at the time,” I replied. “Plus, I really hadn’t eaten, or even considered seafood at that time. It was always a rich person’s food.”

“It’s not though. With advances in aquaculture, and the fact that it’s easier to keep water tanks isolated than it is pastures and feed lots, fish is actually a lot easier to obtain than most other meats.” “It was still outside my price range for most of my life,” I muttered. “Surprisingly enough, the corps weren’t really interested in installing fresh fish vending machines in the undercity. And if they ever did try, I can only imagine they would have left both the machines, and their contents, to rot down there when they didn’t turn a profit.”

“Ugh… that’s a disgusting thought. Are you intentionally trying to ruin my appetite?” Sharron asked. 

“That depends. Are you still considering fish for dinner?” I asked. 

“Not anymore!” Sharron gagged.

“Good!” I grinned. “Nyx, can I have one chicken, rotisserie style please?” 

“I’ll put it on the table when you’ve finished cooking the other dishes,” my AI replied. “Thanks!” 

Sharron shot me a dirty look, but didn’t say anything. Instead she stepped over to the nearby pile of vegetables and grabbed a few before stepping back towards a nearby cutting board. 

“Are you looking forward to getting home?” I asked after a minute. “I haven’t been home for a couple weeks, but you’ve been gone for months. Not only that, but you and the others were in a state of total war during that entire time. That had to be hard on the psyche.”“Actually, it wasn’t as bad as you’d think,” she replied. “Oh sure, the fighting was grueling, but many of the more experienced samurai realized that our forces would never be able to maintain combat for months on end without any break, so many of the citadels and support ships had expansive recreational areas. Everything from rec rooms, to movie theatres, to full blown holodecks.”“What the fuck is a holodeck?” I asked, looking up from the skillet I was heating on the stove. 

“Ah… Imagine a room which uses a more advanced version of Mirage’s hardlight tech to create realistic scenarios and landscapes,” she replied. 

“What? Like a mesh game?” 

“No. Well… I guess you could use it for something like that. It was just a large room that could reproduce familiar areas. Most people used it to recreate their apartments, or familiar vistas back on earth so they didn’t feel so isolated,” Sharron said. “It’s hard to explain how realistic the holodeck could be. It was a real life line for a lot of people.”“So you didn’t miss home at all?” I asked.

“Oh, I didn’t say that. It was a long, hard campaign, and staring at the terraformed Mars terrain was alien enough to be unnerving. I was feeling homesick within the first week, but I also knew that we couldn’t leave until the job was done, so I just grit my teeth and did my part until we were victorious,” Sharron said. “I’m super happy to be home, and looking forward to being able to relax for more than two or three days at a time.”“Hopefully,” I muttered. “Who knows when the Antithesis will try and pull something again.”“Evelyn, please,” Sharron said, shooting me a look. “We both know that the chances of the Antithesis landing on another planet, or being able to send an invasion force the size and strength of the Phobos, are exceptionally low. The other samurai are monitoring the other celestial bodies extremely closely after what happened on Mars. No one wants to go through that again.”“It doesn’t mean that they’re not planning something else,” I said. “Everytime I think we’ve finally got them under control they go and pull some fucking insane stratagy out of their asses and suprise us. I mean… I could have seen the massive storm of portals during the global incursion, but throwing a moon at us? That I didn’t expect. If they can travel through portals from fuck knows where, who knows what else they might have up their sleeves. Metaphorically speaking.”“Evelyn…” Sharron sighed. “I just got back from a multi month campaign on another planet, only to join your bug hunt the instant I got back. Could you please show a little positivity, just for tonight? I’d really like to spend at least one night without thinking about what the Antithesis are up to. Ideally I’d like way more than that but…”“Sorry!” I exclaimed. “I’m just feeling a little crabby after spending so long fighting the fucking Tender. I’ll try to keep my negativity to a minimum.”“Thanks,” she said. “Where do you want these sliced vegetables?” 

“In the skillet please. I’ve just been heating up the…” I trailed off as I stared at the cooking implement in my hand. 

“How did you burn cooking oil?” Sharron chuckled, looking over my shoulder. “I warned you that I was a terrible cook,” I replied. “Plus, you distracted me!”“Sure, sure,” she said. “Stand aside, I’ll cook the rest otherwise we’ll be sitting here all night.”“Fine,” I muttered, stepping back so she could get at the stove. “I’ll cook next time.”

“Not if it turns out like this,” she replied with a smirk. “Now, how about you hand me those vegetables.”