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Here's the free chapter to make up for missing it Friday. It's another rewrite, and I think it shows Kathrine and Dahlia's personalities better, along with sprinkling in some background tidbits.

Also... sorry it took so long. Concentration is hard lately, doing what I can to keep up.

“You’d think with all the money our family makes on potions, they’d be willing to invest a little bit in the local infrastructure,” Kathrine snarled as the carriage we were riding in lurched violently.

I put a little extra strength into the leg I’d pushed against the opposite seat in order to keep myself in place during the bumpy trip, but didn’t bother looking up from my book. “At least we could take the train most of the way here. Can you imagine how long it would have taken us if we’d had to come in from one of the border holds?”

“Probably at least a week,” Kathrine grumbled. “At least out in the border towns, they maintain the roads.” 

“We’re in the heart of the largest swamp on the continent. All the moisture makes the ground quite soft and causes the ground under the road to shift over time. I expect the locals have enough trouble keeping the road open, never mind level,” I said. “Besides, Aunt Helena has several Terramancers on staff to keep the estate completely stable, so she could fix up the road if she wanted to. She’s probably keeping it in this state to dissuade unwanted visitors.” 

“She doesn’t need to go that far,” Kathrine snorted. “Her reputation and temperament do a far better job of dissuading visitors than a rough road would ever be.”

“Careful with what you say,” I muttered, looking up over the top of my book. “You wouldn’t want your words to get back to your mother.”

“It’s fine. The coachman is a mute, and I already know what you think of my mother,” Kathrine said. “I only vent to you. I’m not stupid enough to do it with the rest of our family around.”

“Speaking of which,” I said, slowly lowering my book so I could look Kathrine in the eyes. “Did you manage to figure out what’s going on? It’s rare for your mother to call us back to the estate, and even rarer for it to be an emergency.”

“No, when I contacted Terrance to confirm the message was authentic, he told me that the situation was delicate and it couldn’t be discussed through message stones; My mother would brief us in person once we arrived.”


“I don’t know she couldn’t just encrypt the information and send it to us that way. We established the system of rotating ciphers so we could send sensitive information through the stones, and not worry about the messages getting intercepted.”

“Perhaps she thought it wasn’t worth the risk, even if the message was encrypted,” Kathrine said.

“Maybe,” I muttered. “But she’s trusted the system up to this point. What changed?”

Kathrine shrugged. “I don’t know, but I plan to ask her once we arrive.”

I nodded and leaned back in my seat so I could look out the tiny side window. “Speaking of which, it shouldn’t be long now. It looks like we’re coming up out of the slew and back onto solid ground again,” I said.

A moment later, the carriage changed from a nausea-inducing bumpy ride to a nearly flawlessly smooth one. The scenery outside quickly changed from fetid swamp to gently rolling hills, and a few minutes later, I caught sight of a massive, familiar stone and wrought-iron fence.

The road turned and followed the contours of the outer wall, giving me quick glimpses of our family’s gothic-style palatial estate in the distance. The main building was as intimidating as it was impressive, and I could just make out flashes of the dozen or so smaller outbuildings through the gaps in the thick foliage that surrounded the estate.

As we approached the front gate, I finally turned away from the window and closed the small curtain covering it.  While the estate was home to numerous greenhouses, herb beds, and alchemy labs, the main drive was decorated with immaculate flower beds and ostentatious, almost gaudy statues. While they served to show off the family’s wealth and obscure what was happening in the outbuildings, I hated looking at the ugly things. 

Since it would take a minute for us to get up the drive, I started preparing myself, tucking my book into the satchel at my feet and subtly checking that all my weapons were still in place. 


“You ready?” Kathrine asked.

“As much as I can be,” I muttered. “I know the majority of the family is here, but I really hope that we can slip in and out without attracting too much attention.”

“Afraid you’ll get into a fight,” Kathrine chuckled.

“No, with so many of our relatives running around, I’m sure that’ll run into someone who has a grudge against me before we leave. I just want to avoid things from spiraling out of control, like the last time I was home,” I grumbled.

“That wasn’t your fault,” Kathrine muttered. “Uncle Andreas set you up.”

“I know, however, since I’m the only one in the family without any backing whenever something happens, I’m usually the one who receives the blame.”

“I’m pretty sure my mother knows you’re not the one at fault,” Kathrine said.

“I know, it’s just politics,” I grumbled. “Keeping the other branches of the family in check. I’m just tired of it.”

The carriage shuddered slightly as it suddenly slowed. I stuck a finger through the curtain, parting it just enough to confirm that we’d pulled up to the front doors.

“Well, looks like we’re here,” I muttered. “No point in sitting around. Let’s get this over with.” 

Kathrine nodded quietly and pushed open the door while I grabbed my satchel and threw it over my shoulder. 

As we descended the stairs, the front doors were thrown open, and half a dozen maids and butlers emerged from the building, led by the Steward. “Welcome back, young misses; we’ve been expecting you,” Terrance declared before bowing.

“Terrance, it’s good to see you again,” Kathrine said smoothly. “Is my mother available?”

“She is currently in a meeting with your Aunts and Uncles, discussing how to handle the situation,” the elderly gentleman replied. 

“And what exactly IS the situation?” I asked. “What was so important that we couldn’t be told by stone?”

“Even though I know you two were called back to help deal with the situation, the mistress has declared that no one is to discuss it without her express permission, so you’ll have to wait until you can talk to her,” Terrence declared as he adjusted his glasses. “She should be available shortly, but until then I suggest you rest and freshen up. Your rooms have been cleaned in anticipation of your arrival, and I can have some food sent up if you're hungry.”

“No, thank you,” Kathrine said. “Just inform my mother we’ve arrived and let us know the instant we can meet with her.”

“Very well,” Terrence replied, bowing slightly. “The footmen will bring your suitcases up to your rooms shortly. If you need anything, please let me know.”

“Before you go… I heard that most of our family is home. Do you happen to know where they are right now?” I asked. 

“I believe most of them are competing in an impromptu hunting competition out behind the estate; we don’t expect them back until after dinner,” the old man replied.

“Perfect,” I said. “That’s all I needed to know. Thank you, Terrance.” 

The steward bowed again before turning and returning to the building. 

“I can understand not sending information through a stone, but not allowing Terrence to talk about what’s going on?” she whispered. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Keep your eyes open, okay?”

I nodded. “Don’t worry, I already planned to keep my head down and my eyes peeled,” I replied.

“Good,” Kathrine said, glancing towards the door. “I guess there’s no point in putting this off any longer, shall we go inside?”

I flashed her a bitter smile. “There’s no place like home.”

Comments

M R

It sounds like the aunt hates the entire family and wants them suffering from the road when they do visit. Now I’m confused because in the previous story you were implying the MC has extremely rare skills and abilities despite not having family she’s important. Here you are implying she’s just another member of the family that is an easy target for everyone that always takes the blame which then makes me question why she was called in if she’s not important and an easy target for the rest of the family. Yes I know you are trying to imply the family is crap but you are also weakening the character in the way you did it here (at least for me) as the implication she was punished despite proving she didn’t do whatever was done and again makes me wonder why she was called in. It was better in the previous story and that could simply be changed to her cousin attacking directly or using an agent he employs to do it and not the staff. I know how hard this is, especially if you are forcing it and despite the changes I’m still willing to see where this goes.

Wombat's Writings

Yeah, it didnd't end like I wanted. What I was trying to get across was the different family branches constantly compete with each other, often violently, and she had to keep her head down because she didn't have any immediate family. It really ended up sounding like she was too cautious... She does have unique powers, which give her an edge, but that didn't come across. I'll try and punch it up again over the weekend.

M R

I’m sure you will get it balanced