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[FREE POST] UTI of biblical proportions. (Patreon)

Published:
2025-10-04 22:14:28
Edited:
2025-10-05 16:38:20
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

EDIT: Replaced WIP with the final art!

I'm so sorry.

Files

Comments

Daniel

Precisely what we all had in mind, I think

he1chou

Oh my god

Juliette

Giving it what? A TASTE?!👀👀👀

marmar

astarion you have no heart (can I give him a kiss instead PLEASE)

Edzik

I had the shittiest day today and this made me chuckle. Thank you 🩷

Frenetic

Dude I’m crying laughing

Shandora

Wheezing! This is so good 🤣🤣🤣 Also: why do I hear silly sitcom music with this comic? "The Bhaalists" 🤣

Tessa Storm

As someone very prone to UTI's I feel for the big guy.

Lilian 726

This man is nuts. I'm scrEAMING.

Samantha ODonnell

Is this a sequel to that last anatomical experiment 😈🫠

Rome0w0

I applaud him for asking oh so nicely.

Megaloon

Forbidden gogurt tube

little_blue_dragon

Do you think cure disease works on UTIs. Either way that's gonna be an awkward visit to the cleric

Peeps

Conveniently placed book? More like INconveniently placed book.

Azurami

Greek Statue looking ahh Astarion 😭🙏🏻 (In a simping way)

Crista ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

Love how your brain works, stan whatever is wrong with you king 👑❤️ keep ‘em coming!

Tanith

Bro 😭

bagelbarton

I CANNOT with DU I swear 🤦🏼‍♀️

TimeKnife

astarion is sitting so... whoreishly

Styranki

Is this the slayer comic follow up 😭 Sure sounds like it oh the conses of the quences

Gio

I love his face here both of them

Amandaloriano

Fucking a monster's urethra is alright, but he draws the line at drinking piss

Witch Hazel

Now I need to see him waddle to Shadowheart shamefully or maybe u shamefully. Cuz does she know about his.... Situation down there? XD the split personality if you will

Kestutis

UTI is a small price to pay considering the fact that previously Astarion endured a whole Slayer's bisected cock up his lovehole

Rask

LMAO NOOO

viaa ✭

Always gotta have the comedic relief comic after deplorable raunchy sex comic

Art of Luba

Time for 3-4 days of IV antibiotics followed by 4-6 weeks of pill antibiotics lmao

VenomouslyYourz

There is no other way it could have gone 😆

Naarii

I can't with you!😭😭😭😭

Vee

“No! No no no. Don’t be disgusting.” That particular line is an apt response for him.

Vic

awkward shart convo incoming

OogBoog

Awww damn he shut that down so fast. :,( poor Drew.

Nio

Worth it.

Vee

Just letting the tots out for some air! Also. I need to kiss that tummy.

Micnic Mabel

I chortled so loud my dog fell off the couch! 🤣

Tally Quinn

Very thoughtful of dudrow to consider astarion might be interested!

Alassia

Don't be. This is exactly how being in a stable relationship looks like.

Darrah

Drow’s been reading too much vampire period kink smut

miss_vicky

Whoever left the title as a comment on one of the previous posts has to be losing their minds now.

Rebecca not Rachel

I love that both the uncomfortably debauched side of them and the silly domestic side of them are equally believable. 👏🏻

Pamalam

"I'm sorry" no the fuck you're not and neither am I

Styranki

We love some Healthy Boundaries in our desperately unhealthy monster erotica 💛

Bash Sídhe

Coward Coward Coward Coward

Rae

This legitimately made me giggle because I could read it in his voice

JellyBean

That is sooo funny as a follow up!! I didn't even think!!

ThornedDahlia

Laughed so hard I upset my husband. Wait until I show him the comic 👹

Idgie

i'm so happy i finally subscribed 🙂

LuminousDecay

The snort that escaped me was huge, don't be sorry

Dust Myte

he's so me (i have chronic utis)

G.

🤣 I did not expect that! LOL!

Morallygreychaoticneutral

*Pauses blowing on tea and looks up at Drow* "Would you be interested" Sir! Need I remind you your choices are the reason you are in this piss poor predickament? Humm? My Papa always said. "If you are going to act dumb, you better be tough." Pffffff hahahahah! Oof. That's going to sting for a bit. If you can't find a cleric, then its cranberry spritzers and penicillin for you dear one. Good thing you like shots in the ass, right? Probably a good idea to warm a vinegar solution and soak that split for good measure. Best keep it tucked safely away for the time being. And leave Astarion alone. No sense in adding insult to injury. *snuggles into chair and sips tea.*

Ms. Purrfect

YOOOOOOOOO This is hilarious! Now next time Drow will have their aftercare medpak ready!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

LittleRadGoblin

See this is what happens when you fuck around in monster form. You find out in drow form.

Litsen

I mean, if there's one expert around it must be Astarion... According to my standards, DU is blameless here.

Jordan 🦇

Drow, I fear you fucked around, it is finding out time. Also Astarion looks fucking DELICIOUS here holy hell. I want to bite his hip bones. Also his boobs.

Jordan 🦇

RJ im obsessed with whatevers wrong with you. I want to study you under a microscope

Prox

ok but as the resident Watersports Guy i am definitely having thoughts about this, sorry astarion sorry god

Lisa-and-Shadow

I mean... you miss 100% of the shots you don't take 🤣😂 But I adore the nonchalance of Astarion here after ALL THAT. Just another Tuesday night huh?

Simbioza

Boss, are you feeling mentally well? Asking for no reason... but as a group I fear we rarely ever check in on you and sometimes... again, no specific reason... I think it shows.

Pandora's box

I want to eat your art, I love these sillies so much.

NiKo

Wheeeeeeeeezing

thepalelawyer

Just woke my partner up with the scream laugh

thepalelawyer

also 👁️ 🫦 👁️ tiddies

Fern with Googley Eyes

The tags are great since they quickly confirmed for me this is a post-Slayer comic and damn. I think this is the second UTI joke I've seen from you or your partner. Y'all OK? (<--- Just had his first UTI after a surgery and damn ahhhh.)

Hog Enthusiast

Was dudrow surprised about getting a UTI after the whole urethra thing?

Kitty

DROW NO. Good grief boy, we're reaching the point where that's almost as much of a catchphrase as "GALE NO." XD It's a good thing Astarion likes your mouth enough to overlook some of what comes out of it

doodlebop mcgee

After all you've drawn, especially lately, I don't know how I didn't expect that, but I DID NOT ☠️

Morallygreychaoticneutral

The the comments saying Astarion is sitting like a whore (playfully) . That's not a Babylon lean. That's an "I need air to my abs so they can in turn breath life into every person who casts eyes upon them” lean. It's all for our greater good. Self care people, self care. lol *snort*

IcyKitty

well, if vampires can drink period blood, why not piss blood as well

Deacon

They're freaks but at least they're cute

ArchangelBlasphemy

Gee, I wonder how that happened (glances meaningfully at previous comic) …perhaps go see a cleric, my friend 😂

MEANBOSS

I can't be held accountable for HIS crimes

Desi

Ohhhhh, I really love Astarion casually laying around with his pants down past his hips 🫠

Lys

Lmao Du Drow's face though. 😆😆😆

MEANBOSS

I'M SORRY DOG... Give them a smooch on my behalf.

MEANBOSS

It's going to be be tought telling the cranberry juice apart from all the blood pitchers.

MEANBOSS

Can't a man make a little piss-drinking joke in these dark times

MEANBOSS

I don't think it's the first time.

Morallygreychaoticneutral

Oh dear...a bit of juice roulette there. Could you imagine the disgust on Astarion's face grabbing the wrong cup and getting a mouthful of cranberry juice? Far to comfortable in his habits to remember to sniff test anything of course. Just fkn spit sprays it all over Drow. Then blames him for the whole incident. Naturally.

Miss Fortune

Welcome to the natural consequences of your actions, DU Drow 😏 Hope it was worth it!

Cyhu'nya'gash

Fucking Hells, I love their "Interactions" so much 🤣🤣💕

Selene Ancunin

Astarion is not into watersports, makes sense...though I'm sure Astarion wouldbhose down dudrow if he asked.. 🤣

Kohayuce

Where he came from because now it looks as if he was naked outside 😭

Shandora

Well I suppose that's what happens when you flood your urethrae with undead sperm. (Another sentence I never thought I'd write.)

A Cat

As someone who has once had a UTI of biblical proportions and was pissing blood, I feel so seen

caro

this has the exact same vibe as a child standing in their parents bedroom door saying "mum... I threw up"

MaityB

"It's the same blood that you get from my neck my mean...blow job and a snack?" "You're grounded." "Astarion..." "Grouded."

Eldritch Elsbells

I was so slow on this one xD my brain was like "huh why doesn't Astarion care? UTIs can be quite dangerous for men, I don't get it....oh.....oooooooooooh" xD

Michaela Warzecha

The funniest thing I saw today (it's 22pm already), so you saved my day!

leighistired

So what you're saying is the Slayer-sounding DIDN'T result in the worst possible of mpregs

caitlin

Would you consider posting the lineart from earlier again? I like both versions but loved the lineart so much!

PopVomitArt

I deleted my comment bc it sounded mean! Astarion looks fucking incredible. No shade. Just sheer tiredness over here!

MEANBOSS

Sorry, with posts that are meant to eventually be free-access I feel more secure taking down any WIP shots (thank AI art theft!)

canary

LMAOOO the aftermath of the durge sounding. poor guy.

Claire

AHAHAHAH I love them

EldritchMuffin

Sceleritas wouldn't be aversed to giving it a... whatever😆

Tilly

Give that drow a glass of cranberry juice

Moreen

Not Drow offering water sports 😂😂😂

N00dlex

I'm sorry for my ignorance but could you elaborate on why you are more worried about AI art theft with WIP/line art rather than the finished product? Godawful that we even have to consider it, ugh

N00dlex

I was away for a couple weeks but glad I came running back

Jessie

Ok but am I completely sick if I find this endearingly domestic of them? This is exactly the kind of banter long term couples use 😆

MEANBOSS

AI can generate "proof of work" (WIPS, timelapses, speed paints etc) if fed with different stages of an artist's work.

PopVomitArt

I am also a HUGE fan of this.

No

Du Drow out freaks us all

Alassia

These were literally us today with my very unimpressed partner. Long live antibiotics and painkillers

rhiguy

Probably exactly what happened after their slayer form fiasco