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Don't even know what to title this 🤷🏾‍♀️ (Patreon)

Published:
2026-05-06 01:42:48
Imported:
2026-05

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  • 658414418.mp4

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Sharing this here cuz I trust y'all and I really, really appreciate you for being here. Thank you for all the ways you've supported me (even if you didn't know you were doing it).

Please don't mention this in any other public spaces, cuz I don't know who looks at my content and this hasn't been announced yet.

I am okay. Just taking some time to sit with my big feelings today. But this is, ultimately, a good thing and I'm really, truly feeling positively about it all.

I have a last-minute event to attend tomorrow, but we'll be back to our regular schedule by this weekend! I'll see you all on Saturday.

- K 💚

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Comments

Mia Mccline

Sending all the hugs and good energy. So glad that you did what was best for you💜🫶🏾

Shanz

Hugs to you ❤️. Transitional periods are so hard and it truly comes with a grieving period. Those feelings are soooo valid. But wishing you all the best as you enter this new season. Also you are such a light ❤️

Ty'kara

Thank you for sharing with us!💛I hope that sharing this brought you some comfort and peace of mind. And I hope you are able to rest and explore the things that bring you joy!🫰✨️

Courtney コートニー

I know I am new here and don't know your full story, but you gotta do what's best for you! Change can be tough, but can also be good in the end. Sending you so much love and support! If there's anything we can do to help, don't hesitate to reach out! 🫂💙 What are you, you asked yourself? You are a human in a transition period, and that's okay! Please give yourself some love and grace! We will always be here for you and youre not alone! I'm excited for your future journey!

Hunter-Teri

Wow what a heavy thing to be going through. Obviously as a genuine Riverse fan it is hard to hear, I think we all have this like vision of what artists you like could be in the future and you don’t often think about the end. But as a supporter of YOU, I can say that if this was weighing on you so heavily then I am happy and proud of you for making such a hard decision. I have been a fan of so many independent artists where it takes them ages just to be able to put out a song, make a mv, let alone a whole album/ep. It is so much to tackle on your own and sometimes the love of music isn’t all you need to keep at it you know? Since we are being open and honest in this space I could honestly tell when Riverse came back that you seemed stressed out a bit. I mean you built your own little space and community here and you still had to honor that while also trying to continue to build with Riverse and like money is going into that, time is going into this. And at the end of it all a baddie still gotta pay bills and be a parent! So as sad as it is, I could tell you really needed this. Like you said nearly 20 years of your life, something that became so much of your identity. This is essentially like losing a relationship like it is a unique type of grief. So yeah even though you decided this a month ago, this is something you will always grieve. What is great is this community is gonna give you the space if one day you are just like damn this is a lot today (along with all the other things you have going on in your life). I am yapping atp lol but thanks for sharing with us and I am sending you love for this new chapter of your life. 🩷

Ayden Cayo

You are doing what you think is best for you and that’s really brave cause when you spend so many years of your life on a repeated schedule it’s really scary to try something new it’s very commendable, you should live your life to the fullest and without any regrets, I’m excited to see this new chapter your embarking on lots of love ❤️

juney

I also saw the Erin Dougal video! I only had known you for your separate internet presence and had to pick up on context to know about Riverse. I’m happy for you to make that decision for your future wellbeing, and I’m sure it has been tough on you! I’m wishing you well & lots of love and time in your life to just be. I don’t know exactly what I want to say… but I have a good feeling this will open up new possibilities for you :) 🩵

Gaia Piazza

Changes are good, even if it's hard! You are a beautiful soul and the people you love won't just disappear because you want to try a new path. You are building a beautiful community and you are doing your best, please don't be harsh on yourself and take a break when you need it. Sending you the best wishes 😊❤️ we love you!

Carl Dungca

Thank you for opening up and sharing your story. I'd found you back during the RiVerse Reacts days and followed you here during their content lull, and I'm appreciative of what felt (to me) as your opportunity to "take off running" without the logistical burden of coordinating with bandmates and crew. I'm in my 40s myself, and I think your talk about an "energy budget" is really important for folks to understand, especially for younger folk who may be growing into their own agency and away from the largely "railroaded" "life plan" of the first two decades of their existence. As we walk along our own respective journeys, we may share travels with others, we may find personal detours, and we may sometimes need to rest and take it slower or hustle for a little bit to catch back up. All of that takes energy, and all of it has some kind of "direction." And sometimes, regardless of our fondness for who we were with or where we came from, the steps we take just inherently often move us away from one thing. What's important in those times is the "direction" element. Hopefully we aren't wandering aimlessly, but instead are willfully compelled in a direction we want to be moving in. It sounds like that's where you are right now. Your path with your band is diverging for the moment because you are driven in a direction they just don't happen to also be following. That step "away" isn't a value judgment about our fondness for one thing over another, but our "energy budget" just means we can't pursue things that just aren't moving in complementary directions, or else we'll tear ourselves apart zipping back and forth trying to juggle the different things. And of course, that's not to say our pathways in life won't cross back over with "travelers" we met before or places we've been before. Our journeys aren't linear, and we can certainly "loop back," if that's where our lives steer us. It may take more energy to find our way back, but the pathway to reunion can usually be found. And back isn't necessarily regression or "worse," just like forward doesn't necessarily mean wholly, objectively "positive." It's a direction chosen, after value assessments were made to determine which fork in the road made sense in that moment, in looking down the road to the horizon ahead.. Best wishes to you and the RiVerse crew as your journeys continue onward, Khadija!

Mimi

You are so strong, even if you don’t feel like you are 🤍 i resonate a lot with having to let go of something that’s your entire world and learning how to all of a sudden exist without it. As much as this process is difficult and tedious, there is so much left of the world to live for. I hope you are met with even better beginnings!

mangopassion239 (jonah)

This couldn’t have been an easy decision to make, but I know that we’re all proud of you, Khadija, for putting yourself and your wellbeing first. As much as we love RiVERSE, there’s no point in continuing in something if it’s not working for you or bringing you joy anymore—and that makes complete sense. I’m really glad we had those discussions about idols leaving their groups as well; it allowed you to see that even if we might have been sad in the moment, we’d always come to the conclusion (whether it was Manon, Heeseung, Mark, or Ten) that, ultimately, all we cared about was them being happy and healthy at the end of the day. And that’s the same thing we want for you too🙌🏾 While digesting those feelings, I hope that you can always count on us to listen and that we can be a constant you can rely on. I can’t wait to see what the next chapter brings now that you’ll have more time and energy to invest in it🫶🏽

Mia Mccline

You're welcome. LOVE YOU

Khadija RiVERSE

Thank you! That's exactly it, there's a specific grief in transitioning. It isn't regret or wishing it was different, it's just... grief. Thanks for these kind words and the support 💚

Khadija RiVERSE

Thank you so much 💚 Actually this did help a lot; I think part of me needed to say it aloud to all of you, so it feels a bit more real. I got real sad after filming this, but also do feel better.

Khadija RiVERSE

Thank you so much, Courtney. I really appreciate your presence here in this community and I have felt so much support from you already!! And thank you for these words. "You are a human in a transition period, and that's okay!" I'm going to be repeating this again and again. 💚

Khadija RiVERSE

Thank you Ayden!!! 💚 This means a lot and thank you for acknowledging what this is. Definitely a scary unknown but I'm happy to have all of you here with me as I entire this new chapter!

Khadija RiVERSE

Thank you for saying exactly this!! That means a lot. I'm happy to have you here in this community and I really appreciate these kind words & encouragement! 💚

Khadija RiVERSE

Thank you for being part of this community, Gaia! I am so thankful for this community and those of you who keep showing up every single week to share time & music & happiness with me! 💚

Khadija RiVERSE

Thank you for this reminder, Mimi! I do feel strong... just also scared! Haha. Strong is Scared or whatever KATSEYE said. 😂 If you've also gone through a similar situation of rebuilding, I hope it's going well for you. And thank you for these positive hopes for my future!! This is very encouraging. 💚

Khadija RiVERSE

Thank you frienddddddd 💚 You're right, those conversations were so helpful even if you guys didn't know how much it was helping. At the end of the day, we all want people to feel happy and fulfilled in their lives and that should apply to myself as well! And now that you guys know, I do feel glad that I can share some of this process more as I figure it all out. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Tor👁️

✨May your money be abundant, may your mental be clear, may you live a life that is fulfilling and fulfilling ONLY✨ we love you as well as all of riverse FOREVER ROOTING FOR YALL ❤️❤️❤️(whatever you guys decide)

Tor👁️

You are beautiful,worthy, valued and loved 💕

Thabii

Regardless of what the future holds, at least you know you gave it your all. I’m extremely grateful to have met you guys while the opportunity presented itself and I truly wish you the best in whatever endeavors you have!💚

Ephemeral Aurora who hates this merger

not a frequent commenter but I am a lurker lol, sending you so much love and hoping the results of your heavy decision ultimately brings your life more light and joy. You are incredibly talented and worthy and loved and you deserve everything you reach for, no matter what shape it takes <3

nnnicole10

I'm a little late, but just got time to watch - I appreciate you taking the time to talk it all out! I also know all about life having a different journey for you than you thought, so I totally understand how confusing a time like this can be when you're suddenly trying to picture a new future. In the end, you're the only person who knows whats best for you, so try not to doubt yourself too much! You should still be so proud of what you've all achieved and i'm sure you have so many fond memories to look back on together! I will say as well that you're one of the most genuine creators i've come across, which in turn means you've created such an amazing, safe space for so many people. I don't really have people in my personal life to talk to about kpop with, so being able to have that with this community has been so incredible! It really feels like a cultivation of getting out what you put in, so it makes me happy that you enjoy it all as much as we do! ☺️💖

Khadija RiVERSE

Nicole 🥹 Thank you so much for these kind words! This honestly means so much to me. Both things are true - it's really strange trying to picture a new future and I AM really proud of everything I've done... but I also love what I'm building now and this community feels like such a safe space for ME. I'm really glad that it can feel like that for all of you as well. Thank you for being here! 💚

Khadija RiVERSE

🥹 I RECEIVE IT!!!! This is all I want, for EVERYONE! 💚

Khadija RiVERSE

THABIIIIIIIIIIII! I'm so, so, so happy you got to see us live earlier this year!!!! That was such a great moment and such a brilliant reminder of WHY we have done what we've done for so many years. I'm SO proud of everything RiVERSE has accomplished and we're lucky to have built such an amazing IV League 💚 Thank you for your support, always!

Khadija RiVERSE

Awww thank you, thank you, thank you. This encouragement means more than you know! 💚

Khadija RiVERSE

Carl, thank you SO MUCH for this really thoughtful message. I had to wait until I could take time to respond properly. You've said EVERYTHING I have been thinking and feeling, but it was actually so helpful to read it in your words. This message gave me a lot of peace and knowledge that these feelings are real (we can get kind of stuck in spirals in our brains sometimes, questioning things). This very objective view is so helpful for my logical brain because you're right about absolutely everything you've said here. I'm trusting in my current path and that this is the right choice for where I need to be right now. And it is really wonderful to have such a caring, supportive community here with me! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Looking forward to sharing everything that comes next! 💚

Khadija RiVERSE

Hunter, thank you sooooo much for this really kind message. I waited until I could properly sit down and respond. You've been such a great supporter of RiVERSE AND of my separate channel and I really appreciate it so much. It means a lot to have someone who is True Blue iV League also see me in this moment and understand this decision. I have loved being part of RiVERSE but I'm also okay with stepping away from it now. Honestly, balancing out this channel with the RiVERSE stuff was the EASIEST part of everything in the last 3 years. Y'all bring me so much joy and this space is so safe & comfortable & FUN. I might have burnt out or broken down a lot sooner if it wasn't for this space. But, yes, also there's a lot to balance. Thank you so much for being so understanding and reminding me that this community will have my back, whatever I need. I really, really appreciate you all and I'm excited to share WHATEVER is next with all of you! 💚💚💚