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The Asylum 7 - Nemesis - [part 1] (Patreon)

Published:
2021-12-31 15:01:50
Edited:
2023-09-11 21:06:21
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

First part of Asylum 7 has arrived! 

Ghostface here, the writer who brings Lock-Master's amazing scripts to life! Of course, this is one of the most significant entries yet, as we finally get closer to the most interesting parts of Evelyn's journey! Fans of the more deep texts of previous entries will appreciate the effort behind Asylum part 7, while those who enjoy the sharper more confined entries will still find pleasant amounts of interesting dialogue and overall - a good pace, but with a bulk of content!  How will Evelyn's descent into the deeper parts of the Asylum end? We shall see, as we enter 2022!  

We of course, want to thank everyone who has been with this project and generously keeping it alive through subscriptions! You are the best fanbase of all time and Lock-Master and I deeply appreciate all of you! A lot of challenges have come this year, but we thank you all for your patience and consideration! This entry felt extra special, given it is such a season for the holidays. We hope that it will appeal to everyone and fans of the Asylum series will be surprised by the twists and turns.  

Regardless of which holidays you all practice or how you practice them, we hope you are all well during these times! May this year have a good ending, so that we may enter 2022 with optimism and strong attitudes. Cheers!

Iron Key ContentsSteel Key Contents 

 

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Comments

Samus

Damn you really know how to make a cliff hanger.....

Irving Washington

Great chapter, as always, Lock-Master! The pictures are beautiful and evocative, and I am very curious to see where this is all going. I must however reiterate the comment I made a few months ago: Ghostface, your writing is overwrought! Your descriptions are weighed down by too many metaphors and periphrasis and hyperbole and personifications, especially when they are mixed up, such as with “the Engine of Life conspired with the Wheels of Fate against them”. Stylistic devices should be sprinkled delicately throughout a text, not dumped on it like a heavy coating of Cheez Whiz! You seem to operate on the assumption that more is better. On picture 835, for instance, you write “Intentional or perhaps even just an unforeseen side effect, Angela was robbed of the ability to perceive the world she grew up in”. But why so many words? Why not a shorter, punchier sentence to end your paragraph, such as “Intentionally or accidentally, Angela was now blind.”? This would contribute to a better pacing overall, with your more complete descriptions building up the reader’s anticipation for the direct and succinct punchlines. Furthermore, you tell too much and show too little. When we first see Angela, you write “Truly, she was but a pathetic, empty shell”. This is true (and a nice, short sentence by the way), but wouldn’t it be even better if it was left unsaid, so that the reader would conclude it from seeing Evelyn’s interactions with her? If anything, it could be included in Evelyn’s thoughts, but after, not before she hears her friend speak. And about that, Good Lord, Angela talks too much! She is supposed to be a broken, empty shell, and yet you have her dish out a 255 word monologue (give or take five, I had trouble keeping count) on pictures 836 and 837. Shouldn’t she barely be able to talk? And I don’t mean you should write something like “Despite the fact that her vocal cords had been spared and were theoretically still functional, Angela’s broken mind had so mightily suffered under the waking nightmare that her captors had inflicted upon her that she could barely conjure the faintest of sounds in the warm, damp and stuffy atmosphere of the Asylum’s lowest floor.”; I mean that you should show her speaking brief, halting and confused sentences. As it stands now, everyone speaks in the same unnatural florid way, just as if they were continuations of your descriptions; but they shouldn’t, especially if they underwent months of torment! Overall, I very much enjoy the presence of your descriptions. I simply remain always a bit disappointed by the unrealized potential of your writing, that could be so very good if you trimmed it down somewhat.

mdtrentotto dodici

from my own perspective I appreciate the writing. It add to the already gorgeous drawings, so for me continue this way.