The Weaving Force: Chapter 79 (Patreon)

Chapter 79:

Anakin:

The brig was… honestly like every other area on the ship.

The only real difference was that the rooms had ray shields instead of doors to act as prison bars.

But the layout, the floor plan, it was almost an exact copy of the barrack wing, plus the necessary amenities.

The rooms were clean, and small. Just a bunk and a desk. The wash room was a communal one at the end of the hallway. The clones of course could access it at their leisure but the prisoner better pray there wasn’t a shift change if he needed to go quickly.

The bunk itself was a mesh cushion over a steel bed. The desk was still there, nailed to the wall, but there was no chair. Nothing that could be used as a weapon or a means of harming themselves. That was the protocol.

When Anakin made his way down here, he wasn’t sure what he expected to find. The Munn sleeping soundly on his cot hadn’t been high on the list… but he supposed he should have expected it.

What was that quote Victoria or Taylor had told him once? Something about the banality of evil.

“Mind your feelings Anakin.”

He turned at Obi-Wan’s voice, finding his master there with a knowing look in his eye.

“I don’t know what you mean.” He lied.

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. Looking decidedly unimpressed.

“I know you’re angry.” He finally said. “He did not attack them directly, but he ordered it. Facilitated it. You didn’t come here out of curiosity, you came here to see if there was a monster to slay.”

Anakin tried to not clench his teeth behind his closed lips. He didn’t think it was working very well.

“What are you hoping to learn from him?” He asked, pivoting sharply away from Obi-Wan’s accusation, which was an answer in and of itself.

Oh well. He was never accused of being a good liar anyway.

Obi-Wan’s look lingered for a long moment before he sighed. “In truth I am not the one to be asking. The Jedi Council will be the ones questioning him. And our engineers will be tearing through his fleet’s databanks.

“For those manufacturing stations.” Anakin repeated from the debrief before the battle began.

“It’s the only hope we have.” Obi-Wan nodded. “We can’t match them in numbers and soon they will overwhelm us. The good news is; all evidence points to just a few major hubs. If we can find the largest one and strike it… well-”

“It’s going to be well defended.” Anakin noted.

“Undoubtedly. But we have no choice.”

Anakin didn’t have much to say to that. He shook his head. It was for more patient minds to deal with this. He just needed to be pointed at the target when it came down to it.

“I’m going to go check on snips.” He said; turning away.

Halfway to the door, he paused.

“By the way. You might want to keep Victoria and Taylor away from this place.”

His Master offered him a confused look.

Anakin shrugged. It should have been obvious.

“ Not sure either of them would stop at just ‘looking’ at the Monster”

Taylor:

I woke up… tired.

I’d gone to bed tired too.

I opened my eyes regardless, finding Vicky across from me, still sleeping. Her back was facing me but that was normal. Some stray blonde hairs tickled my nose as I spread my senses outward through the ship, or more specifically, the rooms next to ours. Ikst and Karla were still sleeping, understandably. According to the clock, it was four AM Coruscant standard.

It’d be more worrying if they were awake.

But still, I couldn’t go back to sleep, and it was only a few more hours before we arrived on Coruscant.

I… needed to talk.

And I was honest enough to admit that if I didn’t do it now, I wasn’t gonna do it.

I let myself feel the guilt in waking her, even hesitated, maybe trying to convince myself to let her sleep, keep avoiding it.

But I owed her more than that. She’d been patient, and for Vicky that said a lot.

My hand grasped at her shoulder, shaking gently. “Vicky.” I whispered.

She stirred, groaning, as she turned in the bed a bit, opening her eyes and seemingly searching around her. “Karla, it’s ok.” She said in reflex.

Karla had been sleeping with us till just last night, plagued by nightmares and restless dreams. She insisted that she’d sleep in her own room tonight, and I’d let her.

That didn’t do much to help my sleep, but if she had another nightmare she was just down the hall, and our door was unlocked.

Still, I squeezed Vicky’s shoulder again, my free hand finding hers to hold her still. “It's me, V… just me.”

She settled, relaxing ever so slightly as she turned around to face me. I could just barely see her blue eyes through the gloom of the ships artificial night.

“Hey Tay.” She whispered, still groggy but staying firmly awake. “You ok?”

What a difficult question that was right now.

“Can we talk?” I asked.

She was quiet for a moment, staring straight at me through the gloom and dark.

“What about… exactly?”

It wasn’t a dismissal. It wasn’t as though she was pretending there wasn’t anything to talk about.

She wanted to know what I wanted to say. What I was ready to say.

I was grateful in one sense… bitter in another.

“Everything.” I answered, making myself sound more sure than I felt. “If I don’t talk now… I don’t think I will later. There’ll be something. Some distraction. Something that needs doing… and I’ll keep putting it off.”

She nodded. “Okay.” Came her soft whisper. “Can I say something first though?”

I offered my own nod, wondering what she might want to say.

“I’m sorry.” She finally whispered. “For saying what I said. For using what you told me against you. To hurt you. I know… what trust means to you and I shouldn’t betray it. There was no excuse.”

Wasn’t there? I wondered idly. If I’d found Vicky in my place, with that gun next to her, her Padawan being neglected behind her, how furious would I be? How’d I react?

Poorly was the obvious answer.

But still, what she said had hurt, not the words themselves necessarily, I’d long come to terms with what had happened with Dad after mom. But rather the fact that she would do that. That she’d take something I told her and use it against me like that.

Needless to say it pushed too many of my pain points.

As much as I understood, as much as I tried to move past it, the apology brought the pain back into sharp focus… and I couldn’t say I accepted it, as much as I might want to. Not yet.

Instead, I pivoted, changing the subject. “What did you feel? I asked.

I could see her confusion, unsure as to what exactly I was referring to.

There had been too much going on in that battle.

The desperation of our Padawans, the fear all the Masters felt, the death of the clones, the chaos of the battle.

But as I stared at her, she understood, averting her eyes just a bit, staring at a spot along my neck or chest.

“You scared me.” She admitted after a long long moment. “When I felt… you. It wasn’t you. There was nothing there but… rage and pain. There was nothing there that I recognized.”

She brought her eyes back to mine. “I’ve sensed you angry before… That was something I never want to feel again. And I think you don’t want to feel it again either.”

I didn’t. And the memory of it made me shiver under the covers.

“I lost myself.” I confessed. “Not to Khepri. Not to Queen Administrator but something else. Until I saw Karla holding that gun, ready to kill someone-” I felt my stomach lurch with nausea. “I don’t recognize what happened. What I was.”

I paused, and she let me have the silence, her thumb rubbing circles along my knuckles.

“The scary thing is… I don’t disagree with what I was thinking.” I said. “I would kill him. Again. And again. Even now I think about heading over to Tinn’s brig and burning Pors alive. He gave the order.”

Vicky nodded, understanding. “I know.” She said. “I’d go and punch a hole through his skull if I could too.” Her hand rose up, cupping my cheek, fingernails scraling the side of my head with light scratches.

“It’s ok to be angry.” She said. “They’re kids. And we love them. And that’s ok. But we can’t lose ourselves to that, anymore than we can lose ourselves to things like Khepri. Yeah?”

I nodded. I understood. I even agreed. But. “What if I fail?” I asked. “I’ve failed before.”

“You won’t.” She declared, bringing my hand up to offer a kiss to my clenched fingers. “Because I’m here. And you won’t let me fail so I won’t let you fail. Ok? You and me against the world. That’s always been the deal and we’re sticking to it.”

In spite of myself, I smiled just a bit. “That easy huh?”

Her answering smirk was all bravado. “Damn fucking right it is.”

We lingered in silence for a time, and I took the chance to reach forward, coiling my arms around her and pulling her close, feeling her reciprocate, her blonde hair tickling my nose again, carrying the scent of her shampoo.

“What can we do?” I finally asked. “What can we do for them?”

I didn’t need to specify.

Vicky’s arms wrapped around my ribs tightly, tight enough that the pressure was comforting as I squeezed back, fingers threading through her hair.

“The Jedi have mind healers.” She finally offered. “I’m… not sure how good they are. If someone starts spouting crap about the Jedi code and not feeling emotions after an eight year old gunned someone down I’m gonna lose my shit. But… we can try. And if not. Master Plo, Yoda, Yaddle… we’re not alone Tay.”

I thought about that for a moment then placed a kiss atop her head.

“You’re right.” I conceded. “We’re not…”

—

Later in the day, as we slipped out of hyperspace for the fleet's refueling time, I decided to make a call.

Having just had lunch with Karla, Iskt and Vicky. I’d ‘recruited’ the squad to volunteer some ideas to keep the kids busy. Keep their mind off of things and… help. As best they could anyway. Weber said he had the perfect idea after Vicky’s Saber practice with them and I hoped that was true.

Hopefully they could keep the kids entertained until I was done here.

I pulled out my holo, sifting through the list of contacts. We’d be reaching Corruscant by tomorrow ‘night’ -as much as it even could be night in a city with so much light pollution- so a little over eighteen hours.

Still, if I had my time zone’s right it should be a ‘normal’ hour for a call.

If it wasn’t… well… I doubted she was asleep anyway.

The holo rang for a few more seconds, and I sat down at my room’s desk, planting myself on the cold metal chair

“Hebert.”  Alexandria’s voice carried the barest inflection of surprise, betrayed by her raised eyebrow. “To what do I owe this… conversation?”

“I take it you’ve been keeping tabs on us.” I said, forgoing the direct answer.

The blue holo of her image leaned back in her seat, eyes drifting away to read over a dataslate in her hands. It looks like I’d caught her in her office. I’d been there once in person. She was a fan of ‘wood’. The floors, walls, desk. Dark solid hardwood with gold accents . Or at least the galactic equivalent. I liked it; personally. Not that I’d ever tell her that.  “Some, of course.” She answered. “Why?”

“Then you’ve heard that shortly after we return to Coruscant; we’ve been tapped for a meeting.”

She raised an eyebrow. It seems as though she didn’t know. Though immediately I could see that thinker rating being put to work before she found her answer as she set down the dataslate.

“The Chancellor.”

“The very same.” I nodded. “Do you know why he’s asking for this?” I… disliked asking Alexandria for help. But it was a small thing, when compared to the answers she might offer.

Unfortunately, it seemed luck wasn’t on my side today.

“I can speculate. But I’m afraid I don’t know exactly. Truth is, you and Victoria’s names have been crossing his desk frequently since Corellia. It was only a matter of time.”

“Corellia was six months ago.” I argued.

“It has been a very busy six months.” She countered. “There are many things you can say or deduce about Palpatine and his motivations. But in this particular case, I wouldn’t read that much into it.”

“What can you tell me about him then?” I demanded. “You must know something.”

“I do. I also know frustratingly little. That at least should speak volumes.”

I felt my mouth tighten into a grim, severe line. “You…”

“He’s smart.” She interrupted me. “Smart and devious. Use him; cooperate with him, but don’t trust him. Your alliance goes only as far as your goals align and nothing else.

I looked at her, stared really.

“Is that Alexandria, the Senator from Mandalore, or the Cauldron agent speaking?” came the demand, giving her the benefit of the doubt on the possibility that there was a difference.

“Does it matter?” She demanded, staring at me through the holo. “Senator. Agent. Or my own personal view I’m telling you not to trust him, A warning you might not need, knowing you; but others around you certainly do. His act is quite convincing.”

I rolled that thought around in my head

“If you had to guess then; what do you think he wants?”

“What do all people with power want?” Came her rhetorical reply. “More power.”

“He’s already chancellor.” I pointed out.

She nodded. “One that’s already had the elections postponed, his emergency powers broaden. He has active control of the largest military the government has known in centuries. The only thing he doesn’t fully control is the Jedi; yet.”

I shook my head. “The order obeys him like he does.”

That if nothing else, I knew to be true. Between the scandal that was Syfo Diaz creating the clones in the first place and the public betrayal of C’baoth, it was as though the Jedi were trying to prove their devotion to the Republic like a self flagellating fanatic. A few raised alarms at this but overall, the Senate said jump and most Jedi Masters said ‘how high.’

“They obey the Republic.” She countered. “If someone else were sitting in that chair it’d be no different. But rub shoulders with the Jedi’s most renowned champions of the age. Suddenly they might like Chancellor Palpatine who’s there for much much longer than normal, and might push back against the Senate if they were to try and forcibly remove him in a few years time..”

I felt my brows knit together “So… wait you’re saying-”

I could almost taste the schadenfreude oozing from her voice.

“Yes Hebert. You’ll be making a friend.”

I was just about ready to tell her off when a ping went off in my Holo’s message systems. Someone had sent me an image.

Clicking on it absently, my thoughtful frown very quickly turned into a look of startled horror.

“Alexandria I’ll call you back.” And very promptly hung up before immediately making another call.

It rang once.

“Hallo-”

“Vicky you get those kids out of that torpedo barrel right-fucking now!”

I was not amused; practically hearing her cackling all the way down from the torpedo bay.

—

Coruscant was as it always was.

Overwhelming, teeming with life.

It was the temple that was different.

Now a fortress more than a temple, Venators hung in orbit, docked in berths and stations around the temple grounds. Clones were arrayed by the legion in their shadow, a sea of white armor. Running drills, training, preparing.

It was all at once, a comforting and dismaying sight.

And from the Council chamber we could see it all, even if we couldn’t feel it through the force, the reality of it was inescapable.

“Your mind is troubled.” Yaddle noted softly.

After so many years, I found that Jedi sometimes… defaulted- into stating the obvious. Especially when the subject was uncomfortable.

It was a way to open the door. To tell you without telling you that they wanted to listen.

Sometimes I appreciated it. Sometimes I didn’t.

Right now I wasn’t sure.

I turned away from the window, looking at Master Yaddle, Master Plo and Master Windu through holo.

I’d asked them to come. And they did.

That I did appreciate.

“Have you read the full reports?” I asked. “About what happened on Illum? To the Padawans?”

“We have.” Master Plo confirmed with a nod, his voice grave. “It was… horrible.”

“I don’t know what to do.” I admitted. Somehow that was becoming easier to do. My hand rose up, threading fingers through my hair, eyes closing as I pushed back the emotion.

“We also read the reports regarding what happened to you.” Windu said pointedly.

“I’ll be seeing the Council about that the day after tomorrow right?” I hissed. “Deal with me later, kids now. Get your priorities straight!”

The Vaapad master frowned. But as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, I knew he acquiesced to the request. Windu, unlike most Jedi of his reputation, could compartmentalize.

“Jedi Padawans are typically protected from such encounters.” Plo-Koon said, hands threaded together. “But tragedies of such scale have been known to occur. Beyond the Sith, the Galaxy is home to many evils. Slavers. Pirates. Militants.”

“The Mind healers can help.” Windu nodded. “Master Billaba herself, when she was younger, needed their assistance for similar traumas. Perhaps she might be someone else you could consult; to speak with Padawan Karla and the others.”

“But what do I do!” I demanded. “I’M her teacher! I should be helping her, not… not delegating it!”

I remembered what that felt like. How dad just assumed Emma and others would do what he wasn’t willing to do. I hated it when it happened to me, I didn’t want to let it happen again to someone I was responsible for.

“Delegation it is not.” Yaddle’s stick struck the ground firmly “Help, the both of you need. Clear that is. Why not join her?

I shook my head. “What? Me go to the ‘mind healer’ too? It’s not about me. It’s about what she needs.”

“She needs her master at her side.” Windu said. “Not just when you’re strong but when you’re weak. There is no shame in what Master Yaddle suggests. Nor is their selfishness.”

Plo- Koon nodded. “I concur.” His hands uncoiled themselves, one gesturing to me. “I can see, as clear as there are stars in space, that you too need to speak with someone who can help. It's partly why you called us here. I think it will do you both a world of good if you undertook this together. Both of you were affected. It would help her, knowing that she is not the only one suffering.”

I frowned, remembering, distantly, my time with Yamada back on Earth Bet.

I took a deep breath. “So that’s your advice?” I asked. “Just sit with her with a mind healer together? It’s not… that doesn’t…” I let out a huff of air, my shoulders sagging.

“That doesn’t solve the problem.” Plo-Koon finished my thought with a knowing tone. He sighed.

I tried not to read disappointment in that sound.

My teacher stood, closing the distance between us as he stood in front of me.

“I know you, Taylor. I know you’re frustrated. I know you feel as though there must be something you can do. But… There are no easy solutions. No fast fixes. This, as it was with you when you first came to us; is a long road. One that must be taken one step at a time.”

“It’s…” The final part of the sentence died in my throat before I forced it out. “-not the same.”

“Is it not?” He demanded, softly, but firmly.

I couldn’t, truthfully, say no.

I looked at Master Plo, the Kel Dor stood taller than me, the Coruscanti sun reflecting off of his alien features.

My next words tasted like acid on my tongue. “I feel like a failure.”

He shook his head.

“You know, better than anyone, that it is only when we fall, that we learn how to stand up, Taylor.”

(X)(X)(X)

So this chapter, not gonna lie, fucking *fought me* and I'm not wholly satisfied with it. To the point that I might come back and rewrite/rework it if something comes to me.Not necessarily because of the scene's themselves but because I kinda got caught in this awkward transition period where I can't have them just 'show up' on Coruscant and only THEN start talking/dealing with their own personal fallout from the battle (like a week+ is a LONG time to ignore something as traumatic as seeing a peer be nearly bisected) 

Likewise lingering on Illum might give the characters plenty of time to decompress and properly "process" what happened. But then the Plot stagnates completely because at the end of the day Illum is just a barren ice rock :/And so we have this very awkward, chapter that tries to square that by having both the plot and the character beats occurring simultaneously very literally *mid transit* from Illum to Coruscant.  

So yeah. This one fought me. But thankfully we're past it. Next chap we're probably gonna check in on Dennis and others before returning to Taylor, Vicky (and yes the meeting with Palpatine) simply because its been far too many chapters since we looked into him, Ventress and Rugess. (almost 10 now)