Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 113 (Patreon)

Things had calmed down inside the Hokage Building, if you could call it that. The freak-out was over. Now it was just that weird hush where everyone had already yelled everything they needed to yell and were busy pretending to be productive.

I was just hanging out by a third-floor window, watching yet another ANBU squad parkour across the rooftops toward the north. I had honestly lost track of how many teams had been sent out. Was that the fourth? Or the fifth?

I couldn't help but sigh.

Sensei was definitely being thorough, I'll give her that. But sending more people to go dig through dirt and debris felt like a massive waste of time. Whatever was left of Orochimaru’s lab had been incinerated or turned into gravel the second the place blew sky-high. If that guy didn't want to be caught, he wasn't going to be caught. The ANBU could scrub every single inch of the forest between here and the coast, and the only thing they’d have to show for it would be a bunch of sore legs.

Still, I got it. She had to look like she was doing everything in her power, because right now, every clan head in the village was watching her like a hawk and grading every move she made.

And speaking of those hawks.

I pushed off the window frame and started a lazy stroll toward the Hokage’s office. I wasn't even down the hallway yet when the noise hit me. The walls in this place are built thick, like, really thick, but the voices coming through the wood right now didn't seem to care about physics.

I slowed down and let my senses reach out to the room ahead. Three distinct signatures. I could pick out Tsunade’s chakra in my sleep. The other two were heavy hitters. One of them was Uchiha. You can always tell because they somehow manage to sound polite and furious in the same sentence. The other was a presence I recognized from the western front. Huge guy, massive chakra pool. That was Chozato Akimichi, Choza’s dad. If the Akimichi clan head was in there, that meant the Uchiha across from him had to be the big boss too. I wasn't sure of his name, but he had to be Uchiha clan head.

I hovered outside the door for a second. The yelling was doing a pretty solid job of filling me in on the drama without me even having to turn the knob.

"...the evidence speaks for itself, Tsunade-hime." that was the Uchiha patriarch. He sounded like he was barely holding it together, like he was one second away from totally losing his shit. "We pulled three bodies out from under that rubble. Two of them were mine. One Uchiha had been dead for hours. Another, a young boy, was barely breathing and covered in surgical scars that I don't even want to describe. The Hyuuga lost someone too. So did the Akimichi."

There was a heavy, suffocating pause.

"So, tell me. How much more proof do you actually need?"

"I'm just asking for a full, proper investigation before we go and do something we can't take back," Tsunade said. "Declaring a shinobi an S-rank criminal with a Kill-on-Sight order isn't something you can just laugh off and undo later. If we rush into this and overlook something—"

"Overlook something?" Chozato cut her off, and man, he sounded like he was about to lose it. "Tsunade-hime, my little brother is dead. Choichi is gone! His body was lying right there on that operating table, sliced open like he was nothing more than a dummy for medical students to practice on. Your very own student, the boy who actually stumbled on that horrifying lab, saw the whole thing with his own two eyes. He fought Orochimaru right there in the middle of all that blood. What exactly is left for us to investigate? Whether Orochimaru had a cute little excuse for it?!"

Silence from behind the desk. I got it. Orochimaru wasn't just some random nin to her. They grew up together. Now, she was sitting in the Hokage's chair, being forced to sign his death warrant while two furious clan heads hovered over her, counting down the seconds.

That's when the Uchiha head decided it was his turn.

"With all due respect, Tsunade-hime," he said, calm and cold where Chozato had been loud and raw. "You were given the authority of this office because the Hokage was incapacitated and our village needed a strong leader at the helm. But if your personal attachments are going to cloud your judgment on a matter this obvious, then perhaps the council needs to rethink whether this whole arrangement is still a good idea."

Yeah, no. I wasn't letting that one slide.

Questioning her leadership just because she didn't want to rush a execution order on someone she’d known for two decades? That was a total low blow. Knowing Sensei, if I didn't crash that room in the next three seconds, someone was going to need a plastic surgeon and the maintenance guys were going to be shopping for a new desk.

I turned the handle and walked right in.

"Good afternoon, Uchiha-dono, Chozato-dono!"

I flashed my best 'hey everyone, let's all be friends' smile and gave the place a quick once-over. The Uchiha boss snapped his head toward me like I’d just burst into his living room without knocking. Chozato was a little harder to read. He just stared me down, trying to figure out why I’d just interrupted his grieving rant.

"Shinji," Tsunade said from behind her desk. I caught the tiniest flash of relief on her face before she immediately masked it. "We’re in the middle of a closed meeting here."

"I know, Sensei. I'm really sorry for just barging in like this," I gave her a quick nod, then turned straight to the Akimichi clan head. "Chozato-dono, please forgive my rudeness. I actually had the pleasure of working alongside Choichi-san during the war. I’m sorry for your loss. He was a good man. I’ve been meaning to stop by the Akimichi compound to properly pay my respects, but I wasn't sure if the family was ready for visitors just yet."

That completely threw him off. He was probably expecting Tsunade's student to roll in, take her side, and parrot some line about waiting for the investigation. He definitely wasn't expecting a genuine condolence.

"You... you actually knew my brother?" Chozato asked, sounding a little less angry now.

"We crossed paths at the western front outpost," I said with a small nod. "He was helping out with the medical recovery teams back then. One night, he ended up sitting at my table while I was whipping up dinner for the squad. He stayed for the food, we had a great chat, and he spent the rest of the evening gushing about Choza and the family restaurant."

I let out a soft, fond chuckle.

"He was just so incredibly proud of that kid, Chozato-dono. Every other sentence out of his mouth was 'my nephew this' or 'my nephew that.'"

"Yes... that really sounds like him," Chozato murmured. For a split second, he wasn't a powerful clan leader anymore. He was just a guy who really missed his brother.

"Does Choza know yet?" I asked softly. "About what happened to Choichi-san?"

Chozato’s face tightened up again. "He knows his uncle is gone. He just... doesn't know the details."

"Then he’s going to start asking a lot of questions really soon, if he hasn't already. And it’s much better if he hears the truth from his own family, rather than overhearing it from some random chunin gossiping in the streets."

I let that sink in before continuing. "Chozato-dono, I'm the one who uncovered that lab. I saw exactly what they did to Choichi-san, and I fought Orochimaru right there in the very same room. I promise you, the official execution order is coming. That part isn't up for debate. But right now, Choza needs his dad at home a lot more than this office needs you."

He stared at me for a long moment, then let out a heavy sigh. "You're that kid who fixed his nikujaga, aren't you?"

I blinked. Okay, definitely didn't see that plot twist coming. "He told you about that?"

"He wouldn't shut up about it for a whole week." Chozato said, shaking his head. A ghost of a smile actually crossed his face. "Kept complaining that some cocky junior from the Academy had just casually sauntered into his kitchen and fixed his stew in under ten minutes."

"Hey, it absolutely needed saving," I joked. "The potato-to-beef ratio he had going on was an actual crime against humanity."

That actually managed to get a dry chuckle out of him.

"Alright, boy. I'm going to hold you to what you said. About that official order."

"The Akimichi clan never runs out on their debts," I replied smoothly, meeting his gaze. "And honestly, neither do I."

He locked eyes with me for another second, then turned back to Tsunade and gave her a stiff, formal bow. "Tsunade-hime. I expect to hear an update from this office before the week is out."

"You will," she promised.

I walked him to the door and held it open. Right as he was about to step out, he paused and looked back at me.

"Swing by the compound sometime. Choza would love to have you."

I beamed at him. "It’d be my absolute pleasure, Chozato-dono. I'll definitely be there, assuming Chomi-san doesn't mind setting an extra plate at the table."

He grunted, which I figured was the Akimichi equivalent of a glowing endorsement, and headed down the hallway, his heavy footsteps fading into the distance.

I turned back to the room. The Uchiha patriarch was standing exactly where I'd left him, and the look on his face made it pretty clear we weren't going to be grabbing beers anytime soon.

"Well then, Uchiha-dono," I said, keeping my voice perfectly pleasant. "Was there anything else you needed from Tsunade-sensei today? She actually has a super packed schedule this afternoon. Honestly, the pile of investigation reports waiting for her could probably fill a small library."

His eyes narrowed to slits. "I see Tsunade-hime's student has inherited her absolute mastery over the art of deflection."

"Why, thank you, Uchiha-dono. I really did have an amazing teacher." I kept my sparkling smile firmly in place. "But putting that aside, please rest assured that Sensei is taking your concerns with the utmost seriousness. Every single loss the Uchiha clan suffered is being fully documented as we speak. Oh, and Tekka-chan is currently receiving the absolute best care the hospital has to offer."

I dropped Tekka's name entirely on purpose. Just a polite little reminder of exactly who pulled that kid off the operating table alive.

He caught the subtext immediately. Between me successfully clearing Chozato out of the room and now throwing Tekka in his face, he could tell his window for making demands today had officially slammed shut. He turned his attention back to Tsunade.

"We look forward to seeing some actual results, Tsunade-hime," he said, his tone dripping with unspoken pressure. "The Uchiha have always deeply valued decisive leadership. I'm fully confident you won't disappoint us."

"You have my word," she replied. "The investigation is already well underway, and I’ll personally make sure the Uchiha clan is kept in the loop at every single stage. You don't have to worry."

He gave her the absolute shortest, most insulting excuse for a bow I had ever seen in my life and walked out. I stood there and waited until his footsteps completely faded down the hall before I finally closed the door.

The office was finally, blessedly quiet.

Tsunade was slouched behind her desk, elbows propped up on the wood and her face completely buried in her hands. She let out this massive, exhausted sigh. Honestly, I couldn't tell if she was about to burst into tears, scream out the window, or punch a hole through the wall. Knowing her, it was probably a fun cocktail of all three.

I walked over and started quietly gathering up the messy piles of reports and folders scattered across her desk. I squared them off into a neat stack and set them on a side table. The last thing she needed right now was to stare at more paperwork.

"You know," I said, leaning back slightly, "for what it’s worth, I think you're handling this whole nightmare incredibly well."

She dropped her hands and looked up at me, her eyes looking a little wild. Then she raised a fist and shook it aggressively at the closed door.

"I almost punched him, Shinji. I was literally this close!" She held up her thumb and index finger, leaving barely a centimeter of space between them. "Just this close!"

"Which one?"

"Both of them!" She shook her fist again.

"Heh. You actually held back from punching them for over an hour? Honestly, that's practically sainthood for you, Sensei," I chuckled. "I probably would've lasted maybe five minutes tops."

I pulled a small thermos out of my storage glove and set it on her desk. Still piping hot, I’d brewed it at home right before heading over. I found a clean mug on the side table, poured her a cup, and slid it over. Genmaicha. The rich, toasted rice aroma filled the tense room almost instantly.

She just stared at the steaming mug for a long moment. The fiery anger from a second ago was already draining out of her, and what took its place was something a lot heavier and much harder to look at.

"Shinji," she said, her voice suddenly sounding a lot smaller, a lot weaker. "What you saw down there... in that lab. Are you absolutely sure? Is there any chance... that it wasn't actually him?"

She wasn't actually asking for an official mission report. She was begging me to make it not true. She wanted me to tell her it was all a mistake.

I let out a slow, heavy breath. "Sensei, I’d love nothing more than to tell you it was all just a giant misunderstanding, that maybe someone framed him, or he just got dragged into something he couldn't control. Honestly, I spent my entire walk back here trying to cook up some kind of excuse like that."

I poured a second cup for myself and leaned against the edge of her desk.

"I saw what I saw, Sensei. I'm not going to sugarcoat that part. But I also don't have the full story. Nobody does yet." I took another sip. "So until the investigation turns up everything, I'd rather not pretend I know the whole truth. There might still be pieces we're missing."

It wasn't much hope. It was a tiny, fragile scrap. But it was the only honest thing I could offer without looking her in the eye and lying to her face.

She just cupped the mug in both hands and stared off into space for a minute. Finally, she set it down with a soft click.

"I absolutely hate this job," she muttered. "Seriously, I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to be the one making these kinds of calls. I'm a medical ninja, you know? I'm supposed to be fixing people, not sitting behind a wooden desk signing pieces of paper that get them killed. And now I'm supposed to put an official death mark on someone I literally grew up with? All while the old man is just chilling in a hospital bed being lazy."

"Sensei."

"I'm completely serious. The exact second he wakes up, I'm dumping this entire mountain of garbage right back onto his lap. Then, I'm going on the longest vacation anyone in this village has ever seen."

"You know what? Count me in," I said. "I'll handle the cooking, you just bring the sake."

That almost got a smile out of her. But then she pushed herself up out of her chair and grabbed her coat off the back of the seat.

"I'm going to go check on him," she said, wrapping it around her shoulders. "Maybe today's finally the day he decides to stop napping and face reality."

"You said that exact same thing about three hours ago, Sensei."

"And I'll say it again in another three," She headed straight for the door. "Watch the office for me while I'm gone. If another annoying clan head tries to walk through that door, just flash them that sparkling smile of yours until I get back."

"You got it." I opened my mouth to make some stupid joke about charging her for babysitting the office, but looking at her slouched shoulders, the joke died in my throat. Instead, I just softened my tone.

"Take your time, Sensei."

I stood there watching her walk down the corridor, and man, she just looked completely exhausted.

I turned back around to face the empty room and drifted over toward the window.

Out in the main hallway, an office assistant was walking between rooms carrying a massive stack of folders, trying incredibly hard to look like he hadn't just overheard everything. A couple of chunin nearby were having the most painfully forced conversation about supply requests I’d ever heard. Everyone within earshot was pulling the exact same routine, heads down, acting totally normal, because that's just what you do when the boss is having a rough day.

Behind the walls, I could still sense the ANBU guards stationed around the room. Two up in the ceiling tiles, one right outside the window. They hadn't flinched once during that entire screaming match. They were literally trained to hear every secret in the village and react to absolutely none of it.

The paperwork Tsunade had abandoned was already creeping back into my vision, just stacks on stacks of documents, all waiting for a signature from a woman who looked like she might not even come back to the office today.

I picked up my tea, but the genmaicha had already gone cold. I drank it anyway.

Yeah, I’d hate this job too.

I ended up hanging around the Hokage's office for another hour or so, and at some point, I actually sat down in Sensei's chair. Just to rest my legs, obviously. Behind me, the village stretched out through the massive window like a painting someone had made specifically for whoever sat here. I let myself enjoy the view for maybe thirty seconds before I heard the first knock. But before I could even open my mouth to say "come in," the door was already swinging open.

Wow, okay. Super rude.

The guy who walked in was old, but not completely ancient. He had thin gray hair pulled back tight, round spectacles, and a face that looked like it had been permanently frowning since birth. I didn't recognize him right away, but the traditional robes and the absolute audacity he carried himself with screamed "council member."

All these political guys had the exact same snobby vibe, which completely explained why he'd just barged right in without waiting for an invite.

Then his eyes landed on me.

Specifically, they landed on me chilling in the Hokage's chair, sipping on some warm genmaicha.

His face went through about four different emotions in the span of two seconds, confusion, pure disbelief, recognition, and then that classic outrage old guys get whenever they see a young person looking too comfortable.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?" He snapped, sounding like I'd just spit directly onto his rug. "Has Tsunade completely failed to teach her students basic respect for authority? That chair is not there for children to fool around in!"

Yeah, I officially didn't like this guy. Took me less than a second to make up my mind on that.

So, naturally, I put my feet up on the desk and crossed my ankles.

"Sorry, but who are you again?"

His face instantly flared red. "You insolent little—"

"I'm just asking for your name," I interrupted, wiggling my feet a bit to get comfortable. "Because you see, you just walked into the Hokage's office without permission, didn't bother to bow, completely skipped introducing yourself, and immediately started lecturing me about manners. So I'm just a little confused about which one of us actually needs the etiquette lesson here."

His face turned a shade of crimson I’d previously only seen on a ripe tomato. For a second, I genuinely thought his head was going to explode right there on the hardwood. But to his credit, he pulled himself together and straightened his robes. The man had some serious self-control.

He was absolutely boiling inside, but he wasn't dumb enough to throw down with a guy who had just helped end a war two days ago.

"Homura Mitokado," he hissed through clenched teeth. "Elder council member. I've sat on this village council since long before you were even born, boy. Now, tell me exactly where Tsunade is, and remove yourself from that chair this instant before I have the ANBU escort you out."

ANBU? Please. The two guys up in the ceiling hadn't shifted an inch since I sat down. Something told me they weren't exactly tripping over themselves to follow this guy's orders.

I took a long, painfully slow sip of my tea, maintaining absolute eye contact the entire time.

"Mitokado-dono," I started, setting the cup down with a soft click. "The Sandaime is currently resting in the hospital. That makes Tsunade-sensei the acting Hokage. And before she stepped out, Tsunade-sensei explicitly left me in charge of this office. By the transitive property of ninja bureaucracy, that makes me the acting ‘acting’ Hokage."

I spread my hands out wide. "Which means you just barged in here, completely uninvited, and threatened your standing Hokage with ANBU executioners." I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the desk and narrowing my eyes playfully. "In his own office. While he was trying to enjoy his afternoon tea."

It was total, absolute bullshit, obviously. But the sheer shock on his face made it worth every word.

"Now then," I said, leaning back and getting even more comfortable in the leather chair, "Do you want to go back outside and try that entry again? Come on, I'll give you a do-over."

The old man looked like he was about to have an actual stroke right there on the rug, and I'm not going to lie, it was the best entertainment I’d had all day.

He straightened his robes one last time. "You will regret this, boy."

"Have a good night, Mitokado-dono."

He let out a massive, offended huff and marched right out, leaving the door to suffer the full weight of his feelings. I just listened to his footsteps stomp down the corridor, sounding angrier with every single step. Absolutely beautiful.

I poured myself another cup of tea, kicked my feet back up, and enjoyed the silence for a solid ten minutes before the next interruption hit. After that, it was a non-stop parade. A logistics officer rolled up demanding an urgent signature, I told him Sensei was busy. A chunin from intel dropped off a sealed envelope marked "Priority", I took it and tossed it onto the growing stack. Some random council aide tried to breeze in without knocking and got a very polite, very solid door slammed right in his face.

It was so incredibly boring.

I gave it one more hour before deciding Sensei could officially have her office back. The sun was already dipping below the horizon by the time I finally made it back to my apartment. I kicked off my boots at the entry, tossed my jacket onto a chair, and immediately noticed something was off.

The place was too quiet. My apartment was never this quiet. There was always at least one or two clones hanging around doing chores, reading, or arguing over something completely pointless. But right now? Total ghost town. No dishes clanking in the kitchen. No clone crashed on the couch complaining about being bored. Just dead silence.

Then I spotted the note on the kitchen table.

It was written in my own messy handwriting, the piece of paper weighed down by a dirty teacup.

If you're reading this, it means all the apartment clones have already popped. Did you seriously mess around with Moryo again and piss her off? This is getting so old, man. - Clone #18

I stared blankly at the note.

Then I picked it up and read it again, just to be sure.

He thought I'd done something to tick her off. But I hadn't touched anything Moryo-related in days.

Which meant she figured it out on her own?

That was the only explanation that made any sense. Her clones had been getting intercepted by S-rank squads every single time she made a move in the Land of Demons. Over and over again. It had happened way too many times to be a coincidence, and Moryo definitely wasn't stupid. Sooner or later, she was going to trace the leaks back to me, and it looked like she finally connected the dots.

Which meant the four clones I had out in Uzushio were currently living on whatever scraps of residual chakra they had left in their tanks. It could be hours. It could be minutes.

I pulled out a chair, sat down, and stared at the table until I got sick of staring at the table. Then I stood back up, because I seriously needed to find out just how pissed off my resident demon actually was.

Spoiler alert: she was absolutely livid.

I spent a good hour trying to get a single word out of her through the seal, but I got absolutely nothing but icy silence and pure spite. Talk about a cold shoulder.

Giving up for now, I went to look for Tsunade at the hospital, but a nurse told me she’d taken off about twenty minutes ago. Her house was totally empty too. I really hoped she hadn't gone back to work this late, but then again, I was personally responsible for about half of her current workload, so I really wasn't in a position to judge.

Sure enough, she was right back in the Hokage's office. The paperwork I’d moved to the side table earlier had migrated back onto her desk and brought a bunch of friends with it.

She looked up when I walked in. "You again."

"Me again." I closed the door behind me. "Sensei, we need to talk."

I told her the clones I had left in Uzushio had gone dark, and that something bad might have happened there.

“I haven’t heard from Jiraiya either,” she said, pulling a blank scroll closer. “That’s too much silence from the same place.”

“So you believe me?”

“I believe something is wrong.” She picked up her brush. “I also believe you’ll make it worse if I let you run off alone.”

"Sensei, come on, I can move way faster by myself—"

"You are not going alone," she said, and the tone of her voice made it crystal clear that this was not a negotiation. "Give me an hour. I'll put a proper team together for you."

I took one look at her expression and decided that fighting Orochimaru all over again sounded way easier than winning this argument. "Just one hour."

Most of the market stalls had already closed for the night, but a couple of food vendors were still cleaning up. I caught them before they locked their boxes and grabbed what I could. Rice, dried fish, miso paste, some vegetables that still looked decent, seasoning packets. The spice lady was closing her shutters when I showed up and bought everything she had left. She stared at me like I'd lost my mind but took the money without comment.

I made it back to the office in under fifty minutes, and four people were already there waiting for me.

Dan Kato was the first face I recognized. Silver hair, dark circles under his eyes, and that same tired smile. "Shinji. Long time no see."

"Hey, Dan. You look terrible."

He let out a laugh. "Honestly, I could say the same about you."

I used to have a whole laundry list of reasons to be annoyed by this guy, but that list had gotten a lot shorter lately.

Standing right next to him was Shinku Yuhi, Aya's husband and Kurenai's future dad. He had stern features, sharp eyes, and a face that was permanently set to completely unreadable. Tsunade introduced him as our tracker, apparently the best one available. If he had an issue with taking orders from a boy half his age, his face absolutely wasn't giving it away.

The other two were chunin I’d never actually met before. The woman, Yamada Rei, was a tokubetsu jonin, just your average Konoha ninja with a totally average face.

But the guy next to her made my brain do a quiet double take.

"Haruno Shunpei," Tsunade said, gesturing to him. "Combat support."

Haruno. As in pink-haired, forehead-poking, "SHANNARO" Haruno? I wondered if this guy was Sakura's uncle or maybe her granddad. The hair color wasn't right, but anime genetics are weird like that.

"It's a real pleasure to meet you, Taichou!" Haruno said with a grin that was way too cheerful for a midnight S-rank briefing. "I've heard a ton of stories about you."

"All good things, I hope?"

"Mostly terrifying things, actually."

I chuckled. "Even better."

The small talk died the second Tsunade stood up.

"Listen up, because I'm only going to explain this once," she said, her sharp gaze sweeping over each of us to make sure she had everyone's absolute, undivided attention. "What I'm about to brief you on isn't some cozy little rescue mission with a safety net. Uzushio is actively falling. You're heading straight into hostile territory completely undermanned, against forces that are in the process of overrunning an entire hidden village. This is about as brutal as an S-rank mission gets."

For a second, the room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"This is Operation Uzumaki Extraction and Denial," she continued. "Shinji is your squad leader, and Dan will be acting as second-in-command. We have three main objectives, in strict order of priority."

She held up one finger.

"First. Extract key Uzumaki personnel. That means sealing specialists, clan elders, and bloodline carriers. Secure the women and children who can carry on the lineage. At the same time, salvage as many high-level fuinjutsu scrolls and barrier technique records as you can physically carry. The Uzumaki clan’s sealing knowledge is Konoha's ultimate long-term strategic advantage, especially when it comes to Tailed Beast containment. If we lose that, we lose a whole lot more than just a sister village."

She swapped to two fingers.

"Second. Buy them some time. Sabotage the enemy's supply lines, eliminate mid-level commanders, and disrupt their siege formations. If the local Uzumaki are willing to cooperate, work with them to set up defensive barriers and traps using their own techniques. Just remember, you're not there to win the war for them. You're there to slow down the bleeding just long enough to get the vital pieces out safely."

Then three.

"Third. Denial. Anything you can't realistically extract, you either destroy completely or seal away permanently. That goes for fuinjutsu repositories, Tailed Beast-related research, and anything else the enemy could weaponize if they capture the village. If it can't come home with us, it absolutely cannot fall into their hands. Period."

She scanned the rest of the team. "You move out in ten minutes. Go grab your gear."

The squad immediately started filtering out the door. Dan gave me a quick nod as he passed by. Shinku slipped out without making eye contact with anyone. Shunpei offered me another one of his overly cheerful thumbs-up, and Rei just disappeared.

"Shinji. Stay."

Once the door clicked shut, she just stood there in silence for a moment. When she finally spoke, it completely caught me off guard.

"Shinji... has Jiraiya ever said anything unusual to you? Outside of official mission briefings, I mean. Just... anything at all?"

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Jiraiya? I mean, we're not exactly pen pals, Sensei."

"I know that," she sighed, trailing off into a rare moment of hesitation. It was super weird seeing Tsunade look so unsure of her words. "I just meant... before the war, or maybe during it. Did he ever pull you aside to tell you anything... personal?"

I racked my brain for a second. "Well, he did tell me my haircut looked stupid once. Does that count?"

She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a sharp breath through her nose. "That idiot," she muttered.

"Sensei?"

"It’s nothing," she said, waving me off. "Just forget I asked. But... Shinji?" She looked up at me again, and there was a look in her eyes that I couldn't quite decipher. "When you find him out there, please try to keep him from doing anything too reckless. He has this awful habit of trying to play the hero at the worst possible moments."

"I'll definitely do my best, but I'm not making any promises," I joked. "The guy literally writes trashy adult novels for a living. His judgment is already pretty questionable."

That actually managed to get a half-smile out of her.

"Just bring them home, Shinji."

"I will."

"And make sure you come back in one piece, too."

I gave her a lazy salute and turned toward the door.

"Shinji."

I stopped.

"Please be careful."

I glanced back over my shoulder. She was already reaching for the next mountain of paperwork, completely avoiding my gaze.

"Always am, Sensei," I said softly, and then I stepped out into the night.