SKETCH REQUEST - Weasley Twins (little story in the description) (Patreon)

WEASLEY WONDERS

BY - Nerdietalk

“Honest-Lee, Jordan, since when have you become so boring?”

“I imagine it must be pretty cold over there, so far away from the fire…”

Lee Jordan was doing his best to keep his gaze centered on the book in front of him. The Weasley Wizard Wogbook, obnoxious alliteration aside, was a shocking efficient text. The Weasley Twins had taken care to chart every single ingredient purchased, every item sold, and every potion “donated” to an unwitting victim. Every prank ever committed by the Weasley twins was catalogued here, some even attached with moving pictures. If Filch had these images of Fred and George slipping a Furless Fudge into the food bowl of Mrs. Norris, he’s pretty sure he’d build personalized guillotines for the both of them.

Lee wasn’t one to doubt the twins, but he had expressed some measure of concern that the Cuddlebug Cocoa drinks might make for a pretty dangerous elixir if not used responsibly. If someone wasn’t careful, an unsuspecting consumer might find themselves more of a floozy than a casanova.

Case in point, the two girls fluttering lashes at him from the Gryffindor fireplace.

Freya Weasley’s lips pursed into a pout, glancing at Georgia in frustration. Georgia could only flip her red hair in shared annoyance. The sisters didn’t need words to express their disappointment to each other. They had been trying to tempt Lee for nearly an hour, yet he didn’t seem any more willing to look up from the Wogbook. Why weren't their flirtations working? The Boyfriend Butterscotches were supposed to guarantee a handsome suitor for any young lady on the prowl. They were sure they had eaten one, even if Lee was yammering some nonsense about their supply of Cuddlebug Cocoas. On top of that, their Sweetheart Sweaters were woven to be as appealing as possible to any self-respecting loverboy, both magically and physically. They didn’t consider themselves so crass as to start weaponizing love potions on sweet Lee, but the prospect was getting increasingly tempting.

Lee himself was feeling the pressure of the situation building around him. It was only by the strength of his friendship with the twins that he was able to hold out this long. Even if their voices were as sweet as honey, even if they had gained such pleasing figures, even if they were practically tearing his shirt off… He had to be firm and responsible. If he could just prove to them that they weren’t really girls, clearly remind them of the memory altering symptoms they had so carefully crafted… Or better yet, if he could just find in their notes where they had stored the cures for this particular Weasley treat. This whole mess could be solved and laughed off by curfew.

Georgia sighed wearily, shaking her head. Some boys just didn’t have any sense. If subtle flirtations weren't going to cover it, maybe it was time to dial things up to the next level. With a small nod to her sister, the duo began weaving a simple levitation spell over some nearby holiday novelties.

As his finger stroked down the page, Lee Jordan’s brow furrowed slightly. This didn’t quite make sense. There was an entry here for a Cuddlebug Cocoa earlier this month. Far too early to be the current item of interest. The Weasleys had vaguely talked about hoping to score around that time, but they had been unusually cagey about the results. He had assumed that the duo had been too embarrassed by failure to go into detail, but the Wogbook entry clearly marked both the drink and the cure as a “total success.” But who had they given the drink to?

Turning to the corresponding moving picture page answered that question soon enough.

Averting his eyes from the far too many images of naked Weasleys was easier than you think. Instead, Lee’s eyes were drawn the teen girl presented in the majority of the pictures. The dark-skinned girl was a giddy model, posing and preening with glee. Her eyes radiated love and lust, clearly devoted to the amateur photographers. It would be obvious to anyone that this young girl wanted nothing more than to completely give herself to the Weasley boys.

It was also obvious, to Lee, how many photos involved her fiddling with a scarf that looked shockingly similar to his own.

“Uh oh, Lee! Looks like you’ve got a couple forgotten responsibilities to check off.”

Lee’s eyes finally rose up from the text to see a bunch of green leaves dangle over his face. White berries dangled from the stems, although someone had enchanted the plant to properly match the Gryffindor house colors. The Weasley twins hadn’t just raised up one batch mistletoe above Lee’s head, but numerous bundles and bundles to convey their broader point.

Lee’s eyes only needed to glance down at the Wogbook one more time to make a final judgment call. He gently, but firmly, closed the sprawling journal, setting it aside at long last.

Warming up by the fire suddenly didn’t seem so unappealing.

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Smartass trickster girls are underrated.

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DONT'T FORGET:

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