No matter how hard I tried I was banished from level 0 for a thousand years! [Vol 2] [Prologue] (Patreon)

"…Huh."

What is that smell…? It’s sharp and citrusy, like some kind of bitter orange. Did Estelle buy lemons or something for breakfast…?

Estelle, huh…

Things between Estelle and me are complicated right now.

Apparently, she can’t remember anything from the moment a goblin slammed into her waist until she got back to my place.

After that... she checked herself and seemed relieved, but her soul looked like it had left her body—I almost thought she’d returned to the heavens. So it’s understandable.

In other words, she doesn’t even remember telling me that she “liked” me.

But for some reason, she does remember that I ended up completely naked in front of her.

Once she composed herself, she kept sneaking glances down at my crotch. Having a goddess constantly staring at your junk is way too intense—it’s seriously bad for my heart.

Of course, I feel terrible too, leaving Estelle with those goblins and causing her trauma.

I had already left the goblin forest with my party early, so I didn’t know much, but apparently, among goblins there are rare, smarter individuals—special types that trick people. Even if I hadn’t known that, my actions were stupid.

…And that whole “liked me” thing still bothers me.

Of course, I think I must have misheard or misunderstood, but if by some chance Estelle really does like me...

I mean, it’d be amazing, but someone like me, who’s never even been properly loved by my own parents, being favored by a goddess? It just doesn’t feel real.

…Alright, I’ll sleep a bit more. Estelle’s clearly a worrier—she kept checking on me several times since then, so maybe she’s still checking now.

Just then, a different sharp smell hit me... not citrus this time, more like alcohol...

Estelle, drinking this early, or wait—is this flowing into my mouth────?

“Pffft!?!?!”

I shot up coughing hard. Of course, being forced to drink alcohol right after waking up is brutal.

I glanced around to see what was going on.

And right in front of me was a large chest threatening to spill out of a tank top, and as I screamed, I somehow managed to swallow my spit in one awkward act.

"Hey, you’re awake! onii-chan!"

The owner of that chest grinned at me, holding a bottle of alcohol in one hand.

Her smile was so amazing that for a moment, I didn’t even recognize her as Aitana from Brave Daughters of the Hero. Wait, why is she here…?

I felt bitter, like a guy dreaming about an unattainable beauty, but the sharp sting of alcohol in my nose shot down that thought.

"…A-Aitana!? What are you doing here!? And why the booze!?"

"Oh, in the east where my dad’s from, drinking together means you become your onii-chan’s underling. So from now on, I’m your underling, Tint! Nice to meet you!"

"…Huh?"

What kind of nonsense story is this—even in a dream it’s way too crazy.

Still, Aitana gave me that great smile like it was no big deal.

True to her masculine-sounding self, she usually wears a stoic face, so that contrast hit me hard. If I hadn’t met the ultimate beauty, Estelle, first, I’d probably be falling for her despite the difference in social status.

That Aitana grabbed a large sword that was carelessly thrown on the floor with her left hand and squeezed my hand tightly with her right. The feel of her slender, pale fingers made my heart skip a beat.

"Alright, onii-chan, let’s head to the guild right away!"

"W-w-wait, hold on!"

I hurriedly stopped her as she tried to pull me along.

"Um, Aitana-san, can you explain what’s going on?"

"Just call me Aitana, onii-chan!"

"…Okay, fine. Then you have to call me Tint."

"That’s a no! You’re always onii-chan!"

"..."

Aitana’s full smile gave me a headache. And I’m pretty sure it’s not from the alcohol.

I took a deep breath to calm down and looked at her.

"So, uh, why are you trying to become my underling?"

"It’s not ‘trying to become’—I already am your underling… but whatever."

Aitana gave a slightly annoyed look before quickly smiling again to answer.

“It’s what my dad taught me. ‘When you find someone stronger than you, even if they don’t want you around, follow them and learn from them.’”

Aitana’s eyes sparkled as she said this.

"Yesterday’s fight against the demons was insane! I’m frustrated but there’s no way I could’ve handled that! So I want to be your underling, Tint, learn a lot from you, and get stronger!"

"..."

Yeah, I’m such an idiot. Yesterday, I chased off the fire dragon and demons right in front of Aitana.

No matter how shocking everything with Estelle is, and even if I just woke up, that’s no excuse.

…And I haven’t even told Estelle about it yet. Great.

I pressed my hand against my forehead, embarrassed, then forced a smile.

"That’s... probably some misunderstanding? You know, I’m a ‘God’s Enemy’ after all. There’s no way a level zero could beat demons! Right!?"

In the middle of my words, Aitana grabbed the ragged hem of my pajamas and yanked it up hard. Wait, what!?

"Hey, Aitana!? What are you—?"

"I’m helping you change! It’s your disciple’s job to take care of their onii-chan! From now on, I’ve got everything... Oh, so you’re the type who looks lean in clothes! That’s impressive!"

"Wait, w-wait!"

I struggled to resist but stopped halfway.

After yesterday’s training, I had a feel for it. But if I accidentally hurt Aitana—who carries the titles Brave Daughters of the Hero and Treasure Pride—because I was too tense... I got chills just thinking about it.

Then Aitana seemed to notice it was easier to remove the clothes from behind. She moved closer to me.

*Squeeze.*

"...Ugh."

That unbelievably soft feeling pressed up and down from my chest to my stomach. I let out a small scream. Being woken up like this was dangerous enough; I could feel my blood rushing suddenly.

Remembering the sarcastic smile Savant gave me and all the crap he pulled, I managed to control my urges. I was now shirtless and free from that lethal pajama.

"...Thanks. Now, let’s calm down for a bit."

"Alright, now raise your butt! I’m taking off your pants!"

"No!!! That’s not happening!!!"

Aitana’s hand stopped pulling at my pants at my words. Ah, thank goodness… really, thank goodness.

At that moment, I felt a sharp gaze and turned around.

Estelle was on the bed, looking down at us like we were trash.

"Ah, g-good morning…"

"…Well, that’s only natural. Someone as kind and cool as you, Tint, would have a girlfriend. And with a busty elf beauty like that, it makes sense you wouldn’t touch me while I’m defenseless asleep. Yeah, I get it. Someone like me is better off with goblins."

"Ah, Estelle! That’s a misunderstanding!"

I hurriedly tried to explain but caught Aitana’s gaze and quickly covered my mouth. I just said “Estelle” out loud…

Looking cautiously at Aitana, she gave me a pure, radiant smile. Ugh—cute. No, wait—she seemed to just ignore it.

Before I say anything else stupid, I wanted to talk with Estelle alone.

"…Hey Aitana, could you step outside for a bit?"

"Got it, onii-chan!"

Saying that, Aitana cheerfully dashed out. Looks like she’s pretty easygoing about what I just said.

She seems serious about becoming my underling. This is trouble.

I told Estelle everything that happened yesterday—except for the crotch-slap incident—while she quietly cried.

"…So that’s how it went."

"I’m really sorry!!!"

"N-no, no, honestly, I’m relieved it’s not a romantic thing… B-but, what should we do?"

Estelle’s brow furrowed with worry. After thinking a moment, I spoke.

"…I think it’ll be okay. Luckily, her sister was unconscious. If two famous adventurers made the same claim, there might be suspicion, but with just one, it’ll likely be dismissed as nonsense."

Sadly, whoever believes in Aitana’s strange stories is fewer than those who think I’m just a weak level zero.

No one would believe some nobody like me defeated a fire dragon and demons.

"Anyway, I think we should deny everything that happened yesterday."

"Right… S-so..."

Estelle fidgeted and looked at me, blushing. Uh-oh, something feels off.

"What should I do? Aitana saw me… I can’t exactly say I’m a goddess, so maybe it’d make less sense if we say we’ve got some kind of close relationship."

"Oh, I see… uh, um..."

Is she trying to suggest that in front of Aitana, we should pretend to be a couple?

...No way. There’s no way I could pretend to be in a relationship with a goddess, even if it’s just on the surface. That’s way too much self-consciousness, Tint. Embarrassing.

"I'm sorry, Estelle, but could we just say we’re fellow adventurers? Especially since we were disguising the 'Book of Gospel' yesterday."

"…Okay."

Ah!? Estelle clearly looked crushed! So that’s why!

As I nervously sweated through the awkward silence, the door suddenly burst open.

"Hey onii-chan, is it okay now?"

Aitana poked her head in. Wow, she’s really quick, but perfect timing! …Though I did lock the door before sleeping, how did she get in?

"Yeah, it’s fine now. This is my fellow adventurer... Teru."

"Nice to meet you, Aitana."

"…Hey."

Aitana gave Estelle a quick glare, showing her usual stoic face, then turned around and smiled at me like the sun.

"Alright, let’s head to the guild and form a new party right away!"

"Huh?"

I tilted my head in confusion, and Aitana did the same, looking adorably puzzled.

"onii-chan, you quit your party, right? So shouldn’t you just make another one?"

"..."

True, making a party isn’t a bad idea.

‘Adventurer’ is just a title, not a real job.

Basically, I’m unemployed right now. But if I make a party, I’m technically not unemployed anymore.

But forming a party with Aitana, one of the Brave Daughters of the Hero?

If that happened, I’d attract crazy attention from everyone in this town… especially from Savant, who would definitely say a lot about it.

“Wait, isn’t Aitana part of the Diversity Garden?”

And on top of that, I can’t be part of more than one party at a time.

"Yeah, I quit that party!"

"...What!?!?"

She quit an S-rank party…? Could it be she quit just to become my underling!? No way!

Joining an S-rank party is basically the dream of every adventurer. She gave all that up to be my underling…!?

For a moment, I almost got moved, but I shook my head to calm down.

"No, no, poaching members isn’t allowed. That can’t happen."

"Hmph… then I’ll just follow you anyway! That’s fine, right?"

...No, it’s definitely not fine if she just follows me without permission.

But damn, how do I get her to give up? Quitting an S-rank party means she’s seriously committed.

Aitana wants to be my underling because she wants to learn how to get stronger from someone who’s strong.

So if I can make her think that there’s nothing to learn from me in battle, she’ll probably give up and go back to Diversity Garden.

It’s tough since she saw me fight the fire dragon and demons, but that whole thing feels unreal—I’m sure Aitana feels the same. Maybe eventually she’ll think it was just some magical illusion or something.

After I exchanged a look with Estelle to share my plan, I faced Aitana.

"Alright, you can follow me, but I don’t think I’ll meet your expectations. I’m really level zero."

"Alright! Thanks, onii-chan!"

Aitana looked super happy, or maybe she wasn’t even really listening. I felt my face get hot and quickly looked away.

Back when I was level zero, there was no way I could reach someone like Aitana, the unattainable flower.

And yet, here she is, wanting to be my underling...

Maybe this was the first time I truly felt like I’d reached a four-digit level.

Then I sensed a gaze on the back of my head, so I tensed up.

***

Having two beauties in both hands isn’t unusual in this adventurer city, Ligia.

High-ranking male adventurers often parade around with two gorgeous women to show off their status. I’d glare at them with jealousy and frustration.

But an F-rank, level zero adventurer carrying two beauties? That’s definitely abnormal.

And if those two beauties are Brave Daughters of the Hero—including the goddess Estelle—that pressure outweighs any joy.

In fact, people passing by stared like I was being dragged in for some crime by these two.

…If I walk into the Adventurer’s Guild like this, who knows what’ll happen to me. If I happen to cross paths with Savant’s group, it’ll be the worst.

Especially since Savant sees Aitana as a rival… and, more than that, he looks like he’s head over heels for her. He’d come at me ready to kill.

I silently prayed to the gods—partly sighing that one was standing right next to me—and nervously stepped into the Adventurer’s Guild.

The first thing directed at me was a mocking glare. Apparently, news had spread that I was kicked out of Savant’s group.

Aitana, on the other hand, was getting envious looks. Seems like people thought us entering together was just a coincidence.

Wanting that misunderstanding to last, I stepped a little away from Aitana. Then she suddenly turned around to look at me. Uh-oh.

"Hey, Aitana! You sprayed perfume, didn’t you!? I told you to stop that!"

At that moment, a hysterical scream echoed through the guild.

...It was great she was lively, but in a way, someone I wanted to avoid even more than Savant.

The crowd parted to let Lyra, the source of the voice, through to Aitana.

Lyra, clearly angry, snapped her red tail up and strode straight toward us.

Aitana looked at Lyra with her usual irritated expression and sighed.

"I’ll only promise if you swear not to chase me."

"Impossible!! ...Ugh, I’d rather you didn’t even take a bath."

Lyra’s cat ears drooped sadly, but then she bared her sharp teeth and yelled.

"This isn’t the time for that! You need to apologize to the captain ASAP!"

"Huh? Why?"

"Why? Because quitting all of a sudden caused chaos for the captain! After everything that happened yesterday, things are already tough! The captain looked like a dead fish, shaking like a fish out of water! I almost bit into him!"

...Yesterday’s incident definitely refers to the fire dragon and demons.

The Adventurer’s Guild will undoubtedly be thrown into chaos soon, but Estelle’s barrier is already fixed, so it’s all unnecessary worry.

Of course, I can’t say that, which is a bit frustrating.

"Come on, hurry back and tell them you’ll rejoin *Diversity Garden*. I’ll apologize with you."

"Yeah, well, I already joined onii-chan’s party."

"...What?"

I got a really bad feeling and slowly started backing away, trying to escape.

"Sorry, Aitana. As far as I remember, we don’t have a onii-chan. Who exactly are you talking about?"

"Tint."

"...What?"

But it was too late. Lyra’s round eyes narrowed sharply, locking onto me.

"…That’s ‘onii-chan’?"

"Yeah, that’s right."

"And what about me?"

Lyra pointed at herself with a trembling finger.

"Huh? …Lyra, right?"

"Why do I, your big sister, go by Lyra, but that orange-haired guy is called onii-chan!?"

"Because we shared a sake cup. From today, I’m your onii-chan’s underling. I have to stick to him and take care of him no matter what."

"………"

Lyra’s fluffy ears and tail bristled wildly.

Then she froze like she’d been hit with petrification magic… but soon after, she began moving her body unnaturally and laughed eerily.

"Heh, honestly, I’m impressed with how excellent I am as your big sister."

While saying "I had it ready as soon as you left," Lyra pulled out a sealed parchment that had been opened.

"This is his status. Once you see this, you’ll realize you’re misunderstanding."

"...Huh?"

Did she get someone in the guild to steal my personal status info!? That’s basically a crime!

What now? If this keeps up, my level’s going to get exposed… Wait.

Lyra’s reaction to seeing my stats was definitely weird.

I glanced at Estelle, who nodded slightly.

Of course, Estelle had already tampered with my Adventurer’s Guild stats.

That actually works in my favor. Once Aitana sees my level zero stats, she’ll probably give up easily.

Aitana snatched the parchment from Lyra, scanned it from top to bottom, then tossed it aside.

"This has to be fake."

"Huh?"

Lyra’s eyes widened. I’m sure I had the exact same expression.

"I saw Tint beat the fire dragon and demons with my own eyes. Numbers on paper mean nothing now."

"…"

Lyra picked the parchment back up expressionlessly.

Then, smiling sweetly, she said, "Hey, don’t just toss stuff around."

"Alright, big sis, got it. Aitana, go chat with that pink-haired... wow, what a beauty. I want her as my little sister... Pink-haired girl, you’re in charge." 

"Big sis wants to talk with Tint."

"Huh? onii-chan doesn’t have time for that."

Aitana gave Lyra a sharp glare. I hurried between them.

"Hey, hey, I have a bit to talk about too."

"Got it!"

Suddenly, a creepy grinding noise echoed—coming from Lyra’s mouth—which sent chills down my spine.

"Alright, Tint, come with me for a bit."

Lyra beckoned me over, and I cautiously stepped closer.

It was a relief that the surrounding gazes shifted to sympathy, but that also meant I was about to face some pitiful looks.

Lyra stared at me with a serious gaze.

"Hypnosis, right?"

"...Ah, yeah, maybe."

"You’re serious!?"

Lyra pressed me with a desperate expression. If her little sister was under some kind of illusion, she’d be desperate too.

Before I could say anything, Lyra wore a stern expression and continued.

"Honestly, I had my eye on this too. I figured hypnosis might work on pure-hearted Aitana. But choosing a sibling relationship over a romantic one? That’s some interesting taste."

"...Huh?"

"For that taste, if you undo Aitana’s hypnosis right now and teach me how to do it, I’ll forgive you as if your head was torn from your body. Come on, hurry up and teach me. I’ve got a coin with a hole just for this."

"No, no, no way."

She clearly thinks I hypnotized her. And she’s acting like she’s going to forgive me!?

"No, I don’t have time to learn right now. Hypnotize Aitana immediately so she calls me ‘big sister’... no, ‘older lady’ sounds better... but ‘big sis’ fits best... ugh."

"Please, hear me out."

I tried to explain nervously to Lyra, who kept muttering to herself.

"I really didn’t do anything. But somehow, they’ve misunderstood that I killed the fire dragon, and that’s why Aitana insists on being my underling… It’s not my choice, and I’m not trying to poach anyone."

"So, you’re saying she made that choice on her own?"

"Y-yeah, I guess."

When I nodded, Lyra’s cat ears twitched.

Then she flashed a smile that looked like a mask stuck on.

"Say my title."

My first thought immediately went to that infamous title.

"‘*Brave Daughters of the Hero*’."

"I hate that. I don’t see myself as the daughter of such a worthless parent."

Lyra said in a grumpy tone.

Bernhard the Hero is definitely a legend, but legends tend to have messy private lives. My dad’s obsession with that was the worst.

"…Then how about 'Iron Wall, the Shield Prodigy'?"

It fits Lyra perfectly—she skillfully wields the shield that protected the fire dragon her dad idolized.

"I don’t like that either. Compared to Aitana, I don’t have any real talent."

"…Then maybe 'Beastman’s Hope'?"

"That one’s probably my least favorite. I can’t carry that kind of burden, nor do I intend to. My back belongs only to Aitana."

"……"

She has more titles than most B-rank adventurers, probably even more than some A-ranks.

Being the hero’s daughter is partly why, but her intense attitude toward her sister Aitana is undoubtedly the main reason.

From here on, her titles become more like nicknames or insults.

"…Like ‘Obsessed Siscon’."

"Yes! Exactly that!"

Lyra puffed out her chest, totally smug.

Good. I thought she might’ve chosen things like ‘Disappointing Yet Stunning,’ ‘Worthless Face,’ or ‘Sigh (Exasperated),’ but she hit the mark.

"That’s definitely the title for me. My love for Aitana is truly insane."

"…Uh, yeah."

I was taken aback that she could analyze herself so calmly and still act like that. Then Lyra leaned in closer.

She’s beautiful, but I held back from getting nervous—it felt annoying.

"Do you understand what that means?"

"...What do you mean?"

Her expression shifted sharply to a terrifying glare, and she shouted at me.

"If you ever take my precious, precious Aitana’s virginity, I’ll wipe out all humanity except you!!!!"

"Wha—"

S-Scary!? And that’s basically the same mindset as those demons from yesterday.

Just as her title suggests, she’s totally obsessed with her sister.

"I-I get it, I get it! And no way would I do something like that! Aitana’s… v-virginity, or whatever."

"…Really? You haven’t touched her at all?"

"…Y-Yeah."

Honestly, I haven’t exactly kept my hands off, but if I admitted that, who knows what *the Obsessed Siscon* would do.

Lyra leaned in suspiciously, examining my face, and I started sweating buckets.

“onii-chan~ Are you done yet? Let’s go already~”

Aitana said boredly. Estelle next to her looked pale and was staring down, so the conversation wasn’t going well.

Thank goodness… but please don’t call me “onii-chan” so loudly.

As I tried to keep my identity hidden, Lyra strode toward Aitana with a smile.

"Aitana, I’m coming along with him too."

"What!?"

That was news to me, so I was surprised. But feeling Lyra’s killing intent, I quickly shut up.

Aitana frowned in displeasure.

"I refuse. You’re just going to be a nuisance again. And you still haven’t gotten used to that shield, so you’re useless whether it’s a help or a hindrance."

"Oh? Is that so?"

Lyra responded with a confident smile.

“Tint’s an F-rank adventurer, and what about you, cutie?”

"I-I-I'm F-rank too!"

Estelle answered nervously, and Lyra nodded, clearly satisfied.

"No matter how much of an A-rank you are, if the other two are F-rank, the range of quests you can accept is pretty limited."

"Hmph…"

Aitana grunted.

See, each quest has a difficulty rating, and if the guild judges your party’s rank isn’t enough for that difficulty, you can’t take the quest.

Normally quests are accepted by the whole party, so the party’s rank usually decides eligibility.

But since we don’t have a party, the quests we can accept depend on each member’s rank.

"I think just having me, a B-rank, along will open up a lot more quests."

"Tch."

Aitana clicked her tongue and looked at me.

"onii-chan, you decide."

Honestly, Lyra’s obsession with her sister is scary.

But her interest in keeping Aitana away from me aligns with mine, so in that sense, she’s a strong ally.

"Alright then, Lyra, I’m counting on you."

"Heh, leave it to me."

Lyra proudly wagged her cat tail and glanced my way.

"So… where are you planning to go? Don’t tell me you want to head back to that goblin forest like yesterday?"

“…Like yesterday?”

That caught me for a moment, but it’s probably based on Aitana’s report. Naturally, I asked Estelle for her input.

"…So, Teru, is there anywhere you’d like to go?"

Of course, I can’t call Estelle ‘Estelle’ openly, and since we’re pretending to be adventurer partners, the formal speech sounds off — though, even so, Leonore would get furious if I spoke casually to her.

"Well, if it’s alright, I’d like to go to the Nuboncho Jungle… maybe."

Estelle answered hesitantly in casual speech. I wished she’d said she just wanted to go home.

Even after everything that happened yesterday, why is she still insisting on coming along...? No way she’s worried about me and Aitana being alone together—no way.

Then Aitana stepped boldly in front of Estelle.

"Huh? Why do we have to go to a place full of weaklings like that?"

Tall Aitana looked down at Estelle, who flinched and apologized, "S-sorry..."

Even without knowing Estelle’s true identity, that attitude was unacceptable.

"Aitana, if you talk to Teru like that again, we’re done working together. Plus, the Nuboncho Jungle is a really dangerous place for us F-ranks. Honestly, I’m taking that risk for your sake."

"Okay, got it! Sorry, Teru!"

I thought she would give up, but instead, she flashed a bright smile and apologized to Estelle.

I worried Lyra might lose her teeth from gritting them so hard, but for some reason, she smiled too.

"Hey, what exactly is your relationship?"

Suddenly in a good mood, Lyra asked excitedly.

"Oh, we’re just adventuring partners..."

"Really? You two look great together! Are you secretly dating?"

"D-Don’t say stuff like that right now."

I glanced sideways at Estelle—her face was bright red.

Is she blushing? Maybe embarrassed that a mortal called a goddess “a good match”…?

"Oh my, what a suspicious reaction!"

Lyra wiggled her tail with a grin. Seriously, what is with her?

She went from obsessed siscon to hyped about romance all of a sudden… Maybe when her sister isn’t involved, she’s just a normal girl after all.

Then Lyra went serious and walked over to Aitana, burying her face in Aitana’s ample chest.

"Yeah, no sign of distress. Seems like she hasn’t lost her ‘heart virginity’ to Tint. That’s a relief. Alright, let’s take the quest to defeat the Nuboncho."

"Ugh, gross..."

Where’s the normal girl in that? “Heart virginity”? Seriously creepy.

I looked at Estelle, worried if it’s okay to keep someone that weird around her. She murmured softly, “Heart virginity… I get it.”

Yeah, it’s important, I guess.

…Still, the Nuboncho Jungle. Going back to the place where I got kicked out is honestly rough… but not all bad.

My dad’s keepsake is still badly damaged, and it hurts my heart. So I wanted materials to repair it.

If I can convince Aitana to give up and collect some “Sleeping Fire Dragon” materials… Of course, Estelle’s safety comes first, but with these two around, I don’t have to worry so much.

I slapped my cheeks, tried to ignore the stares, and kept as far as possible from the heroic sisters to look like a stranger as I followed behind them.