Sharing thoughts (Patreon)

Hello everyone,

As you already know, I've always liked to communicate things that are happening to me, related to my work and how I feel about it. Sometimes to feel your support and sometimes to ask for advice, I consider myself quite open in that sense.

At this moment .... I'm living a pretty hard time, I have artblock, depression and no motivation, even so I try my best to fulfill all the expectations, within my limits.

I built this business on my own, I learned to draw many styles (for years) until I found one that was profitable, what kind of drawings you like and which ones you don't, I researched the best sites to promote myself and in general I've been someone who wanted to be better every day and be an entrepreneur.

Social media has been a big part of that, helping me to be more known... But everything is changing and it's getting harder and harder for me to reach my followers. Lately I'm struggling to be more visible because, since I suffered the hacking and the new changes (in twitter for example) my visibility is less and less... I've tried everything and nothing works... so every time I publish my work, I see how it goes directly to a black hole, and that is hurting me a lot, to the point to grab my pen and stare at nothing, unable to draw, for hours, thinking that no matter what I do, not even 10% of my followers will see it.

I don't know what to do anymore, because I can't stop or draw happy, I was feeling empty drawing my last two drawings, just doing it for work... Even so I'm still trying my best because you deserve it.

I'm sorry for this text, I just wanted to share how I feel because... I need to I don't know, to talk I guess.

Note: Thank you so much for all your support really, it means a lot to me in this moment. Some of you are telling me to take a break, but I sadly can't afford to stop (personal things) even so it makes me feel more calm for some reason, so thank you for telling me that.

As many of you know, because this is not the first time I say it, I draw this because is what I consider my job, not because I feel, how to say it... identified. So it's difficult for me sometimes to keep going when something which is supposed to go well because I do it for work, it doesn't, so this empty feeling comes to me, because I don't have any purpose then.

I'd love to go and draw how i feel or things I like in styles I love, but life is not a rainbow and more or less we have to do some sacrifices. I feel fortunate that mine is only drawing for the market, because I know how hard world can be as I have experienced it firsthand. That's why I feel stupid complaining about something like this but... I can't control my feelings ^^"