SCRIPT: SKKW - Slow Crawl (Patreon)

cw heavy themes of addiction, themes of body dysmorphia, drug usage, mentions of drugs, stuffing, bloating, explicit sexual talk, peer pressure, manipulation

Penn attempts to recover from doing drugs through alternative means - sexual healing and all that shit. Only to find he is susceptible to the exact same mindset even when trying to do something else. Not to mention the people around him are more often than not, terrible influences on him. It's another one of those overly personal bits of writing through my characters but still very much standing on its own (I hope). It is also extremely dialogue driven perhaps even stream of consciousness like. I think much more so than other writings, viewer discretion is advised, if said topics are particularly triggering, don't read this one. Also spoilers: Dr Clown is a horrible person and I'd argue this entire script is a spoiler for that fact.

DC - Dr Clown

PI - Penn

VA - Veryl

–

Penn sits at Veryl's desk in the office. He seems to be in a good mood. He is waiting for Veryl. The door opens slightly and he picks up.

PI: Oh h-

He stops when it's instead Dr Clown who enters.

PI: Oh, it's you.

DC: My apologies if you were expecting Derrick. At least for the next few days, I will be Veryl Argedick.

PI: How come?

DC: He's in the hospital for a ruptured spleen.

PI: Is he okay?

DC: I'm sure he will make a swift recovery. Anyway, what's up with you? You seem to be in an unusually chipper mood.

PI: Is it that obvious? Nice. Well, it's exciting news. I have decided to stop doing heroin. I've been sober for a whole three days now.

DC: Oh? Really? Like the last time you decided to stop? Okay.

PI: No, I'm serious this time.

DC: In the same way you were serious last time and it took only 2 weeks of sobriety to get back on the stuff.

PI: That wasn't my fault. Rhino asked to hang out and shit went a bit wild. That wasn't my fault.

DC: That's a fun way of saying you lack any form of self control…

PI: Look, I know it's been bad in the past, and I know it's not good for me. But I've found something to replace it.

DC: Enlighten me.

Penn pulls out a bunch of seemingly miscellaneous baking supplies from the small fridge in the corner.

PI: Right, so, hear me out: 2 cups of heavy cream, a quart of milk, and a box of Betty Crocker's red velvet cake mix.

DC: That's … Not what I was expecting at all. I was half expecting you to pull out a cereal bowl full of cocaine or something.

PI: Haha… I only do lines on special occasions. And being drug free, no more of that for me.

DC: So, what is this? Baking? People get into hobbies like that all the time to distract themselves. It's not a bad alternative.

PI: Well, um, not quite.

DC: What.

Penn takes out a blender. And puts all the stuff in it.

DC: I'm confused, I don't really know where this is going.

Penn turns on the blender.

PI: It's a cake shake!

DC: It looks like thick muddy sludge. I feel like I'm going to get type 2 diabetes just by looking at that thing.

PI: I blend it all together and then I simply down all of it. I have to do it in one go or else I'll feel too full to finish all of it. The key is downing it quickly to trick your brain into letting you tolerate all of it. Then you just drink a bit of slightly warm water and you uhhh…

Penn drinks it all and then a bottle of water he has. His belly swells up pretty immediately.

PI: Urghh… Unf… Mm…

DC: The results are very immediate, aren't they? Is this… The ended result?

PI: Hrf… Hah…

DC: You seem to be struggling there, pal.

PI: BUUUURRRP

DC: Disgusting.

PI: It feels… good… UURRP I feel like I'm going to explode or throw up at any moment but to see myself get bigger and to feel the weight of it all… I like it when I sit down and I can see my belly resting on my thighs. Pressing down on my belly… I feel so soft. Patting it… Stroking it… It's a temporary bliss…

DC: Is this… A sex thing? I don't mind it at all, the eating people wrestling thing is already a sex thing, isn't it? Look, I don't mean to judge but you're drinking raw flour. Don't you think sterilising it would be a wise idea at the very least?

PI: Yeah, and? If you heat treat it you don't get good results. The gas has to build up inside of you or you won't bloat as much. It's chemical reaction based, your stomach gets filled with a lot of released gas as the baking soda hits your stomach acid. The mixture clogs up your system and I think bacteria in the flour also releases gasses in the stomach.

DC: I don't want to say that's pseudoscience-y as you're somewhat right in those assessments, but is this something you think about a lot? Don't you feel uncomfortable with all that nasty garbage building inside of you? Makes you belch horribly for one thing and I get enough of that with you know who…

PI: Anything that makes me do that a lot is good. That sounds gross when I say it like that haha. You can really feel it sometimes though when it builds up inside of you… The release of the pressure from within, coming back out your throat from the pit of your stomach… It's like a roar - loud and demanding of presence. That heavy bloated feeling it all brings… it's lovely…

DC: What the fuck are you talking about? Why would you even want to feel that way? You know people with IBS suffer from it all the time right? And you want to get off to that?

PI: UUUURRRRRP. Yeah. You really start to feel it after a while, the reaction lasts for ages. This doesn't go down for over 12 hours. If I had more, it would last longer.

DC: It's literally clogging up your insides. You are going to suffer from constipation.

PI: Well that's a problem future me will have to worry about. I always want to keep going, but I hit a wall. I feel like I could be bigger but my mind sort of refuses it, at first. If I leave it and eat on top of it, letting it all sit for a few hours, as everything digests I naturally end up blimping out more, expanding just a bit extra. Fuck, it feels so good, and I feel so heavy. It gets harder to stand but I love everything about it. Sleeping afterwards too, I wake up and then it's like wow I'm still huge. You really feel all the extra calories all in one go though so it's not something I can do too often but the high of it… Without needing anything else… I just don't think about, it's fine.

DC: I… I don't know what to say? Going to be honest, you never came across to me like the sort of person who'd enjoy the sorts? You never liked the people eating thing so I just assumed all stomach related things would be off the table for you. It definitely is a sight for me to behold.

PI: I think this makes me feel more… comfortable with myself? My body. I uh… Always struggled with body issues so this sort of exploration… It feels nice to not feel awful about it for once.

DC: Hmm… I suppose I can see that making sense?

PI: Urfff… I should've used a belt.

DC: A belt…?

PI: Yeah, I don't know if there's any truth to it or if it's a placebo thing, but a belt can restrict access to the diaphragm. It's harder to breathe when your stomach and intestines get bunched up to it, so sucking it in initially and then belting up tight… I like to think it helps.

DC: Hmm… I see… I'm certainly curious now. Are you open to sharing dirty little secrets?

PI: You know this about me now, you might as well.

DC: How big do you want to get? Unrealistically speaking.

PI: Unrealistically speaking, I want a massive soft fleshy orb hanging off my waist. I have to… I have to feel like I'm on the brink of bursting at all times. Riding that rushing feeling, it's important.

An evil glint appears in Dr Clown's expression.

DC: Ehehehe… Here.

Dr Clown pulls out a pill. It's the muscle relaxant used for SKKW's brand of sports entertainment.

PI: I don't eat people, you know that.

DC: It's a medicine that relaxes the muscles. Stretches your tendons, loosens your stomach, makes your skin expand… Nobody said it had to be for eating people. You want to be big? Experience that temporary bliss of reaching past your limits? I can help you. That's what doctors are good for after all.

PI: Listen, I know it's different, but I said I was going drug free, okay?

DC: Don't kid yourself, this isn't the same as doing a drug drug. This is more like… Taking cough syrup. It's a medicine, not a drug.

PI: People can get addicted to cough syrup. I'd know, I used to do it out back when I was in high school all the time.

DC: Well of course, but this isn't for that purpose, it's to help you. You're not taking the metaphorical cough syrup here to get high, you're using it to cure a limitation of your body.

PI: No… I don't need anything else, I'm just fine like this as is. I was just thinking out loud.

DC: But you want to go further, don't you? Fill and see your belly, stretching and expanding. That tight bliss you can only capture for a moment. There's no wrong in feeding into temptation. It's just you and me here.

Penn grits his teeth and looks at Dr Clown in defeated reluctance. Penn opens his mouth and gestures for the doctor to pop the pill in his mouth. He does so, and Penn swallows.

DC: There we go, now you can do whatever you like. No more limitations. And I can watch. Take notes.

PI: You're here to help, right?

DC: Anything goes.

PI: F-Fill me up would you? With more of the stuff. There's more in the fridge.

Dr Clown blends together another cake shake and Penn drinks it all up, his belly groaning and creaking as it gets even bigger. Dr Clown grips Penn by the hips.

DC: Oh look at you, you're getting so big. How does it feel?

PI: Mmm… It tastes good too. Nice and sweet.

DC: Do you want to try for another?

PI: I think I'm good actually. Maybe I should at least let it set a little first.

DC: Come on… Don't kid yourself… You're in deep now. Let's not put things to waste.

PI: I guess… I guess you're right?

DC: That's right.

Clown keeps going with another and in turn Penn drinks it all up with little hesitation.

PI: UUAAAARRRP It reaches all the way past my thighs. This feels amazing… God…

And another

PI: More… I need more…

DC: We're getting through a lot of your supply.

PI: Unnngg… I'm soooo fucking horny, I'm going to cum everywhere…

DC: This really gets you going, huh.

PI: Feed me more, I need it, I need it-!

And another

PI: Oh wow… It properly slots between my legs now. Right up past my knees… Oh god, this is so hot-! Fuck!

DC: I feel my eyes have been open to an entirely new reality. I don't understand at all. It is… interesting to watch you grow.

PI: Ughh… I wish I could reach my dick right now…

Penn starts patting his belly

PI: Hey, Clown… Can you do me a favour?

DC: I feel like I'm doing nothing but favours for you.

PI: S-Sorry.

DC: Ah I don't mean that negatively, I'm more than happy to oblige in turn for the entertainment you've provided. It's funny how right I was about you. Restraint is one thing you just don't have.

PI: BUUUUURRRRP Can you… Rub my tummy with both hands?

DC: Hehehe… It's the least I could do.

PI: Oh…! I…! Unghh…!

DC: You get off to this, don't you? Sick freak.

PI: BUUUUUUAAAAARRRRRRRP It feels so nice… It hurts so good… Can you jerk me off next?

DC: I will do a lot of things for you, but I am not doing that.

PI: Urff… It was worth shooting my shot.

DC: Heh. I bet you want to shoot your shot somewhere.

Dr Clown kneeds into Penn's belly as if it were dough. His expression as deadpan and emotionless as ever as Penn huffs and pants, clearly into it. He moans and whimpers in delight. After a while, his expression starts to flatter a bit.

PI: Stop.

DC: What troubles you?

PI: It's just… I started doing this to stop being hooked on something, but now I'm just hooked on something else. I can't UUURRP move I'm too fff-f-fucking big.

DC: But that's what you wanted, wasn't it?

PI: I didn't even keep track of how much I've been downing. It's really calorie heavy so I'm going to end up putting on a bunch of weight… Shit! I'm so dumb and stupid and I don't think about anything! I haven't gotten better at all!

Suddenly Penn feels a sharp pain and his expression scrunches in pain.

DC: Huh? Why that face? What's wrong now?

PI: I- I can feel it wearing off. BUUUUURRRRP. Oh god.

Penn desperately starts grasping at his belly rubbing with his hands all over to lessen the pain.

DC: Well, you can make it stop hurting. Just take another pill.

PI: No! That's exactly the problem. I don't want to take anything else OOOOUUUUUAAAARRRRP my stomach is tightening! Oh god, oh god. I went too far- I might actually split open!

DC: …

Dr Clown fiddles with another pill, tossing and catching it in his hand to make a show of it.

DC: What a pity.

PI: I take it back! G-give it to me.

DC: What's the magic word?

PI: P-Please.

DC: It's actually 'Shmlongle' but I'll take a 'Please' instead.

Clown pops the second pill in Penn's mouth. He gulps it down. He breathes out and relaxes. Briefly there is a moment of silence between the men, only the excessive glorps and gurgles of Penn's stomach noisily attempting to digest the heavy contents inside of him can be heard.

PI:... I want to go further.

DC: You were JUST complaining how much it hurt and how fat you'd get after all of this and how you were going to LITERALLY DIE.

PI: It felt good, just for a moment though. I guess I just want to be in the moment for as long as I can. Is that so wrong of me?

DC: Maybe. I'm not here to be your life coach. I'm just here to watch people like you fuck up their own lives. Maybe it's sad that that's one of the greatest joys in my life but what else is a man to do?

PI: URP… I need to lie down.

DC: Feel free.

PI: Can I admit something embarrassing?

DC:... I certainly won't stop you.

PI: Seeing myself like this I like to imagine… I know I said I don't eat people but, I like to fantasize that I've got Derrick inside of me. And that I get to keep him all to myself. He's mine, and mine alone. Not in the way that he becomes food or anything, something to dispose and forget like all the men he eats. He'd stay perfectly intact, I'd just want him to be with me, forever. I want to feel him stretch out my insides to their limits. Feel his everything inside of me. I get so flustered thinking about it… God… Uwaaahh… Aren't I so awful to think things like that? But he means so much to me and he's all I have… Maybe if he was small and doll sized, he could live inside of me like a parasite. And grow bigger and bigger until-

DC: Until what? You give birth to him or something?

PI: No, that's gross.

Penn's stomach emits an audible glorrrgle. Penn pets it in turn.

PI: I know I'm bad for thinking such things…

DC: That is… Extremely messed up actually. I suppose it makes sense, that excessive full feeling makes you less empty and alone seeming. I don't think it's wrong to have desires, but maybe some are best never to be vocalized.

PI: I'm just a silly boy in love, doc. That's all I am. Have been for the last 20 or so years. Isn't that so pathetic? God, I feel so hard thinking about all of this. It's painful but… Nnggh…

DC: Your throbbing member is none of my concern. You're a silly boy with problems, and I'm probably the worst person for you to be around. I don't think you should be left alone with people who bring out the worst in you.

PI: You're right about that. That's why I like Derrick so much, he's always trying to make sure I'm not doing anything bad or hurting myself.

Dr Clown rolls his eyes.

DC: Do you think you take him for granted?

PI: I would hope I don't. He's all I h-have. I don't really have any other friends or family. I don't know what he sees in me as someone worth caring about. I-I brought out a side of him that wasn't there before through all of this.

DC: I see… I don't think that's a good thing.

Dr Clown sits on top of Penn's belly.

PI: Urgh! I f-feel like it's g-going to come up my throat if you put p-pressure on me like that.

DC: Don't mind me.

PI: I-I feel like I'm g-going to hurl.

DC: That fullness just making you feel sick now, is it?

PI: P-Probably. I-It's not painful. M-My head j-just hurts.

DC: I see…

A FEW DAYS LATER

Penn once again is sitting at Veryl's desk, he is visibly spacing out a little. Dr Clown enters. As he approaches, Penn sits up properly and wipes drool from his mouth.

DC: You're looking… Not that different actually.

PI: I put on about 7 pounds from the other day. It's not my proudest moment. I was on the toilet for a few hours. It wasn't very pleasant.

DC: I don't imagine it would be.

PI: It's not something I'm unfamiliar with.

Dr Clown eyes Penn up. He is in his ref gear today so his arms are exposed, though he is wearing a bandana around his right elbow. It's not hiding the track marks very well.

DC: Your arm… It looks sore… A few hours on the toilet was it?

PI: Nothing really works for me, so I just go back to what I'm familiar with. I know it's not 'good' for me, but I don't really know what else to do. Besides, heroin makes you lose weight.

DC: You never stopped, did you?

PI: …

DC: I suspected as such. You don't do shit like eat a raw flour slurry to get off unless you're doing something. I know it's easy to fool Derrick but I can tell.

PI: If you knew, why did you encourage me?

DC: … An exercise in self restraint. That and sick curiosity. That was wrong of me, but I'm not going to apologise for it.

PI: That's a cruel thing to do to someone who's not all there.

DC: You say that, but you always speak with more clarity when your mind is elsewhere. But I know you're always thinking about it. I know you are.

PI: Of course I am. I don't want to be like this. Nobody does.

Dr Clown stands over Penn. Both are silent for a bit until Penn talks again.

PI: Hey. Do you have any Klonopin on you?

DC: No. I don't. I'd wave it in front of your face if I did, and it'd be up to you not to take it.

PI: Why would you want to do that to me? Why would you want to do that to anyone?

DC: That's a good question. The honest answer is that it's just my job, and you start to resent the people around you.

PI: Has anyone ever told you, you suck as a person.

DC: Heh. You wouldn't be the first. Nor the last.

PI: You shouldn't be proud of that.

There is another bout of silence.

PI: Every time, I go way too far, I think… Maybe this time, that'll be it. Seven times I've been on that brink and I always wonder how I just bounce back. At least if it's over I won't just keep wanting, and wanting.

DC: You're not on anything else right now, are you?

PI: … I did do PCP earlier. I've come down from it though.

DC: Why did you lie to me about being sober the other day.

PI: I was expecting it to be Derrick but you came along and I just thought… Y'know…

DC: …

PI: I like it when Derrick is proud of me. He does this thing where he's genuinely happy for me when I make any sort of improvement to my life. Maybe it's wrong of me to fish for it... But boy, I love seeing him happy. I thought, fuck it, why work for it when I could just… Lie. He can't tell. He doesn't have a keen eye for it. If I just cover up my arms, there's no way for him to tell. Him believing I'm bettering myself makes him happy. I want him to be happy, because that's something I can't be.

DC: I mean, you can tell yourself that. If Derrick were to walk into this room right now… Would you be honest with him?

Penn is caught off guard and looks around in a slight panic.

PI: I uh… I… Well the things is… Um…

DC: You wouldn't, would you? Do you not respect him or something?

PI: I do respect him. I just… Fuck, this is… Going to make me seem really selfish.

DC: Well, look at it this way: Who in this world isn't selfish?

PI: Derrick.

DC: Okay, stop.

Dr Clown furrows his brow, his usually cold demeanor shifts to one of slight anger.

DC: Stop putting him on a pedestal, he's the most narcissistic self entitled prick I've had the misfortune of dealing with and I've dealt with a lot of people.

PI: That's not true! You don't know him like I do! I am selfish, okay, and is that so wrong? I would lie to him. I'd lie right to his face, and I've done it for years. I can't be honest with him. I don't want to seem more pathetic than I actually am. He's the one person who sees me as having any value, and I don't want that to go away. I just feel if he knew how bad things really were for me, I'd lose him. I don't want to be alone again… I love him, and he's all I have.

Dr Clown sighs and gives Penn a slight pat on the back.

DC: If you love him, and he truly cares about you, he'd still care about you no matter what. As hard as it is for me to believe that Mr Veryl Aegedick himself would care about anyone else in any capacity… If I'm to take you at your word, he does seem to care about you at the very least. Don't take him for a fool - nobody likes to be treated that way.

PI: Do you think I'll ever get better?

DC: That's not really something I can comment on.

At that moment Veryl opens the door to his office and makes his way in.

VA: You two are already here, nice and early.

DC: Indeed.

Penn quickly scurries out of Veryl's chair.

PI: I-I thought you were in the hospital!

VA: I was but, they deemed me fit to leave.

Veryl takes his seat back and lights a cigar. He takes a puff from it.

VA: Right, we have things on today's agenda. Time to book some matches for the next three weeks. But before that - Lou!

Penn perks his head up.

VA: How's the sobriety going? I've heard you're going strong four days now. I'm very proud of you. I know it doesn't seem like a long time but I know it's difficult for you, so to keep at it, it just makes me so wonderfully happy.

PI: I…

Dr Clown turns to look at Penn.

PI: Yeah, Um… Look, I sort of… I haven't been entirely honest with you.

Penn unravels the bandana on his arm.

PI: I'm sorry. I never stopped.

THE END