Peppina x Noisette comics - Drive home (audio) (Patreon)

A little audio drama thing I made of the girls talking home. Takes place between pages 8 and 9 (so right after Noisette talks about speed dating going awful and before Peppina tells her Anton and her met through speed dating)

Also transcript:

Noisette: …That Pepperman was just a pretentious asshole the entire time. He did the thing some guys do where they just think psychoanalyzing you is hot or something. Like he looks at my outfit and goes 'ohh rabbit ears so are you close to nature? oh super nurturing and motherly like, so when we have kids you could raise them well. I think you could be a fun mom' I just wanted to tell him to shut up soooo bad. I hate guys like that. He still has that really fucked up laugh too and he laughs at his own terrible jokes.

Pepperman: Ah. I am-a not surprised to hear it. When I was in-a the tower he drew this really horrible unflattering wall art of-a me. He portrayed himself like-a super hero or something when he literally tried to-a kill me first, and already painting me like-a sad miserable clown. Don't-a even get me started on what he attempted to do after the tower. That court order is in-a place for a reason! I hope-a he never finds happiness. I hope-a he dies!

Noisette: Peppina you can't say things like that!

Peppina: Pepperman can't-a hear us here, and if he could I'd hope-a he hears it just so he knows I want to wipe-a that smug prick smile off his-a face.

Noisette: You know I was kinda shocked to see Pizzahead again. I dunno, none of us really ended on good terms with the guy but…

Noisette: God, like, we were talking just normally up until a point but then he started getting really weird about things. He expected to score immediately - like what the fuck?

Noisette: I dunno, I always thought Pizzahead was like, gay or something?

Peppina: I see-a why'd you think that, I thought that too but-a no, he's-a just one of those metrosexuals. He does it to make himself-a seem 'less threatening'

Peppina: But then again, I don't-a know why I, or-a anyone, gave-a the guy who tried to-a sneak into my restaurant without-a pants on the benefit of the doubt.

Noisette: He tried to what!?

Peppina: There is-a good reason why I keep-a the shotgun under the counter.

Noisette: Yeah, that was kinda my final straw for the evening and I got kicked out after handing his ass to him.

Peppina: If it-a makes you feel any better I-a would've done the same thing had I seen him.

Noisette: Vigi I've always kinda liked but we just didn't click, and that sucked. I think I'm too zany for him, or maybe he just thinks I'm too high energy or high maintenance.

Peppina: You got all that from 10 minutes of talking?

Noisette: It was more like, 10 minutes of me talking and he just kinda giving me the stink eye. He didn't really give an indication if I ever said the right thing or not so I might've been constantly putting him off. That was my bad I think.

Peppina: Did he ever say anything at all?

Noisette: He asked me if I was ever going to open up the cafe again somewhere. He liked the hot chocolate, but said I should scrap what he called 'the weird menu items' like the chocolate corn cobs because they kept giving him explosive diarrhea. I can live with that, the only reason I had them in the first place is because The Noise said he liked them.

Peppina: What about Mr Stick? I don't have-a… The greatest opinion on him but I'm-a sure he's-a suffering from something, so I don't want to be too harsh. You know, he always shows up to these sorts of things.

Noisette: Stick? Yeah, he was there. He was all like… Businessy? I think he was just kind of there to get girls to pay for his drinks and get napkins to clean his spills, as he didn't really seem interested in relationships at all. He didn't really talk much about stuff like that, or even much about himself. He kept on trying to sell me on this pyramid scheme thing like, no thanks.

Peppina: Yeah that… That sounds like him…

Noisette: Snotty was also there.

Peppina: Oh, really? How is-a the guy?

Noisette: He was okay I guess. We just kinda caught up but he's still pretty ill. I don't see myself dating him or anything ever but like… I hope the guy can get the help he needs. He's on a waiting list for his physical ailments but you know how the wait times are.

Peppina: Ah yeah… The fucking pizza doctor… He's-a piece of shit. He make-a me wait 5 years for things…

Noisette: Anyway uh… Yeah that’s uh… How it went.

Peppina: Right right... You wanna uh... You wanna head-a down to seven eleven. Get a Big Gulp or two on the way back.

Noisette: Yeah... Yeah I'd uh… I'd like that.