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Fed Up: Part 11 Draft (Patreon)

Published:
2022-11-28 01:16:07
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Hey!  I hope everyone is having a good night.  Here is another 3,200 words added to the latest draft of Fed Up: Part 11.  This chapter might be done now.  I've got to send it Piengoo's way and get their opinion.

New content is marked toward the end of page 8 with a highlighted blue ... and continues until the final paragraphs on page 15.

What do you think of the chapter as is?  Any edits you think I should make?

Comments

Rune Ebsen

Great chapter, good idea with the yoga session to compare to how it was like 100 pounds ago. You could have focused a little more about how some poses use to be easy and now she can't even do them. That is my only suggestion for this chapter. If I could decide how the story ended – I would now have in the next chapter have her and Kieth discuss their weight on the way to his parents house. Where he admits that he found her slightly more attractive before, but if she wanted to she could keep the weight. This results in them agreeing to lose weight after the dinner at his mom house, which result in that meal becoming a big last feast… Then we have a scene either that night or the next morning with a big first weight in. After this she maybe could convince summer to work out with her and that results in her embarrassedly finding out she is in much worse shape than her fat friend. After this Keith actually manages to lose a few pounds, which really bother Heidi who is not able to lose weight and actually gains a bit. This ends in a big weigh in before thanksgiving dinner and a big last feast with her and her entire family, the end.

Ruud272001

Awesome work! I really enjoy this series. Looking forward to seeing where you take it. I was just wondering though if her sister Sophie hit 400 and if she ever lost any of the weight

polarisdreamer
>>96455036

I think it was mentioned in a previous chapter that Sophie managed to get to 400 but was struggling to lose it

polarisdreamer
>>96454513

That's a solid idea for the ending! I don't wanna spoil anything though so I'm not going to get into it