LETTING THE MURAL GO (Patreon)

So I've been sitting on this mural and debating if i should call it done for over a week. i can tinker with my own art forever, the concept of something "feeling" done is absolutely foreign to me. I'm aware this is caused by my own perfectionism (not the quirky kind) which stems from an intense fear of letting go. its so brutal for me to confront the reality of my mistakes, and accept that those mistakes will "become" real even though i know theyre there and i know i could fix it, if just given a little more time.

Joni Mitchell sent Graham Nash a breakup telegram when he was touring abroad which said "if you hold sand too tightly in your hand it will run through your fingers", and thats pretty much how i feel about my art these days. when tinkering i become so stubborn on the "success" of the end product, i forget theres joy to be had in the messy transfiguration from something in the ether to something real. a mural that could have taken a week balloons to nearly six weeks, and a process that is basically magic becomes undesirable and painful.

HOWEVER, im learning theres no benefit in torturing myself. that everyone has to pay some sort of imperfection tax to create something. its inevitable, its unavoidable, and you might as well pay it upfront and get used to it. wrestling with my vision isnt a bad thing, but the moment i avoid putting the brush to work i need to think about what is it im really in conflict with. is it the piece of art itself, or a feeling/belief i hold? because if its the latter, which is usually the case, i think then its time to loosen my grip, pay that imperfection tax, and let things be.