Euro 2024 Diary: Day 0 - Guten Tag! (Patreon)

David Marshall will be writing throughout the Euros about the tournament. Here is his opening piece.

It’s all very exciting, isn’t it? Looking forward to the football with no worry of Rangers ruining your entire week. Yes, Europe is partying like it’s 1945 as the continent descends on Germany. 

What better way to chronicle the next month of action than the ramblings of Heart and Hand’s original writer? Forget about your fancy, bougie book deals, an online blog is where the true wordsmiths show off their craft!

So what can we expect over the next month? Before we look to the future let’s take a trip to the past. Long-time subscribers will know I’ve done a few of these for different tournaments over the years. The most controversial of which was my preview of the 2018 World Cup in Russia. A couple of people took umbrage with my evaluation of Russia’s human rights record and suggesting that Vladimir Putin isn’t a very nice man. Thankfully, the time in between has shown me to be completely wrong on that one.

However, in the defence of a murderous dictator, one good point was made. That when the World Cup went to Qatar in 2022 I should be equally scaving. Whoever suggested that was quite right and I fully intended to be! Then I didn’t do any writing for that tournament. Ah…made myself look like a cock there. 

But, since we’re here, let’s take a look at what’s going on in Germany in 2024 and see if there is anything I can wag my finger and tut at. Well, the far-right AfD party took a load of seats at the recent European elections. Hmm…well that seems more of a Europe wide problem than a German specific one. It’s all a bit boring, to be honest, it’s a bad day when you can’t even rely on the Germans for some crimes against humanity for the sake of content. 

Suppose we better talk about the football then. 

Scotland has the honour of starting the tournament against the hosts tomorrow. Bringing back memories to those of us of an ever increasing age of France ‘98. What a day that was for a young Dave, we got away from school early and I didn’t have to go to my speech therapy session. Apparently, John Collins and Craig Burley were more important than my stutter. But still, I have great memories of my dad throwing me up in the air in celebration as Scotland equalised that day. Then throwing me out the window when renowned fanny Tom Boyd decided that the Brazilians needed a helping hand. I’ve never been able to forgive him for that, which is a shame because he seems such a nice guy too. Boyd not my dad, I think his reaction was quite justified on reflection. 

I’d say there is a general cautious optimism around Scotland and a hope that they can get a result in this game and even get out the group. I’ll be honest, I don’t really share that feeling. 

While qualifying for the Euros back to back is a great achievement, considering the wilderness Scotland was in for the 20 years beforehand. I believe there are too many limitations and papered over cracks in this team that will be exposed throughout a tournament. I also feel that the demise of Germany has been somewhat overplayed. Certainly, they would not be my first pick to win the tournament, but I think it would be foolish to rule out any German side at a tournament, especially on home soil. 

Who will win the thing then? South of the border they are certainly fancying their chances that this is the time when football finally comes home. In fairness, I think England have every right to feel confident and this could very well be their turn. However, where they are formidable from middle to front they are distinctly average at the back, especially with no Super Jack Butland to bail them out. I also can’t help but feel historians will look back on this period and come to the conclusion that sticking with the guy who wore a bag on his head and walked into a wall for that lucrative Pizza Hut dollar was a huge mistake.

“Ok Dave! So who will actually win it?” I hear you ask, probably France. Maybe Spain or Italy, but probably France.

It’s that biting analysis and bold predictions that you will get every day from me. So please, get your favourite adult beverage, sit on your comfiest chair, watch the games and come and read my take on the tournament and everything surrounding it. 

Or wait for one of the bald twats to release another book.