The State of The Valley Address #2 (Patreon)

Greetings, citizens of the Valley. It is I, Elliott Morgan, here with a quick update regarding the evolution of The Valleyfolk, or, as the IRS now knows us, Valleyfolk, Inc. Humblebrag. 

Let's dive right in.  

Thursday, we posted an update video on our YouTube channel. In it, we expressed the "plan," and how we're going about getting everything set up. However, what we did not mention was all of the things we've already done or are currently working on. This may not be of interest to you, but in the event that you're worried your patronage is going into some mystical, ethereal black hole, we wanted to peel back the curtain a little and finally reveal all of our mixed metaphors. 

"Elliott, I'm happy you're officially a company and won't die of starvation, but really what I want is more content from you guys on YouTube." - My mother, after her four nightly shots of tequila*

Well, Mom, I totally get that. In fact, I agree entirely. In a perfect world, your favorite dysfunctional quartet of comedy would have been producing stellar content immediately. The good news is that, well, we did, but the better news is that the official, big, consistent stuff is going to happen much sooner than we originally anticipated. Like, 2/3 as soon, to be exact. 

Since the Patreon launched, we've had two major priorities: release content consistently, and make sure communication with you guys is open and honest. But both of these priorities are in service to our grand goal: making this baby sing/making our dreams come true. That means that in just two months, we've brought on some wonderful people to help lay the foundation for this company. We've established official roles, bought shares, signed many a' contract, opened a business account that we livestreamed that our lawyer later informed us wasn't our "best idea." None of us have taken any money yet, unless you count a 25-cent box of Mike and Ikes I bought when I shipped some forms to the IRS. Don't blame me. Blame Mike and/or Ike. They make delightful candy. I'm still picking it out of my teeth. 

All of this is to ensure a smooth transition for all four of us. Although I'd love if the four of us were creating new stuff every day right now, I'm pretty gosh-darn pleased with how quickly things are moving. On a personal note, I've never been more impressed with the people I'm working with. I've known these people for many years, and the dedication and teamwork that I'm seeing is unbelievable and humbling. Every single one of us has stepped up to the plate in ways that are inspiring. Good things are afoot, and this month we will be ramping up production. Sometime next month, we should be full-steam ahead. If that changes, you'll hear about it.

"Where is my Patreon money going?" - Donald Trump, Jr.

Hey, Junes, listen, for the last time, we don't have a "hair pomade" tier, so back off about it, geekwad. But the Patreon money has thus far gone to legal fees, incorporation fees, a box of Mike & Ikes, some cakes, business software, payroll systems, editors, and one piece of video equipment for the podcast. 

Next up, the funds will be going toward workers comp insurance, health insurance (this is an important one), livable wages, a shooting space, and a set (which includes: lights, cameras, sound equipment, and seventy-seven antiques Lee will find in the coming weeks). From there, we will establish a production budget that's sustainable-- that budget will also be based on this Patreon, so as always, we appreciate your continued support, he said, sweating.

See, Juniper? What we're in right now is a chaotic whirlwind of delightful growth. It's a season of learning, and it's a season of simultaneously and suddenly preparing to take the biggest leaps of our lives. Amid this chaos, we've launched a successful podcast, signed with The Roost (as in Roosterteeth) for ad placement, signed with DFTBA for merch, and announced our first out-of-state live show. We've created a weekly livestream on Twitch where we hang out with you guys and play games, and we have our first non-couch video currently in the editing phase. I'm not going to tell you what it is, but. . . it's. . . it's very dumb. Additionally, next week the gang is sitting down to outline THE CURRENTLY UNTITLED SHOW THAT WILL DOMINATE EVERYTHING.

"I'm really happy that you guys are back together. What can I do to help?" - a tardigrade

First off, you water-dwelling, eight-legged, segmented sack of adorable, relax! You're already doing more than enough. If you've decided to help launch a company that will positively impact a lot of people's lives, there isn't a thing in the world you need to do besides sit back and enjoy the perks and the exclusive crap and the sense of superiority you have over your peers (looking at you, rust mites!). We've been steadily fulfilling all the fun perks and what nots (shoutouts to all the people's names I mispronounced in our personal videos to you. . . and again, I am sorry, but I blame your parents).

But I'll say this: It's go-time. We are not slowing down. For that reason, if you'd like to share this Patreon, or if you'd like to simply tell your friends about this insane, experimental project you're a part of, then please do. Obviously, this Patreon will ebb and flow, which is why we are quickly establishing exciting and promising business relationships out of the gate. But setbacks happen-- like when YouTube refuses to monetize our channel until the end of April. It's not like we're asking for special treatment, you know? We just want to be prioritized above everyone else. . . . 

So from the bottom of our hearts, know that along with an immense gratitude for a second chance at YouTube domination is a legitimate nervousness... a beautiful, gut-wrenching nervousness, but a nervousness nonetheless. Fortunately, we're all in this together. Myself, Lee, Joe, Steve, and every one of you. And there's something in the air. . . besides Steve's farts. There is an electricity and a momentum building behind the scenes that is going to launch this rocket into the heavens. Once it breaks through the atmosphere, it'll likely explode, and our bodies will be ripped apart and dispersed through space. Eventually, our frozen entrails will rain down upon the earth in the form of weird Internet shows, sketches, improv, live performances, bone fragments, and we will find ourselves rebirthed in every digital medium across the galaxy. . . or at least the good ones.

And, as always, give us your feedback below. You guys have quickly become the most reliable, reactive, and safe environment for us to experiment creatively and professionally, so give us your thoughts. I promise we're reading, chatting, and taking everything into account. Thank you, everyone. God bless you, and may God bless the United States of America. 

*my mother would never drink straight tequila, but if she did... it'd be Patron... hi, Mom! ;)

PS - You guys know I love dogs, so here's a pic of an adorable golden retriever. Stay tuned for the video on Tuesday.