Little personal status update. (Patreon)

Hello people, as the past days I was literally missing and the past weeks were a Little weird too I want give you all a little explanation, in short words I'm dealing with a major depression, and I was going to the psychologist the past months

I have been depressed for years (10 years or more) but I leard how/could deal with it one way or another, usually not thinking in it, having stuff in my mind, working etc, the problem was there but it was not affecting to my life “too much”, but just before the pandemic… I started to have some big problems and I started to go to the psychologist, then the pandemic started and I stopped the sessions (And well I really did not like that doctor anyway), the pandemic was hard but after it I was “ok” again so the life continued (really I fall in a hole but I was ignoring it), maybe you remember that I commented before that I had a new family living in the house over mine, and they were… very loud and disrespectful, that was the last straw, I could not be calm or relaxed in my own house any time any day, after some fights, threats, various anxiety attacks etc, I started to be very veeery stressed, and along with everything else, which had not been solved, it began to affect me a lot on all levels, this past summer they leave, but other family, with another baby comes, and… they are even worse, with the extra stress of my projects, and many other extra concerns that I was having (taxes, laws, personal problems, etc.) my head was a real chaos I was beginning to enter a state of constant apathy, and draw something was becoming a big war, and I decided go again to the psychologist and she said me a lot of things, but simplifying it a lot I have a big depression, I´m under a big pressure that I myself am creating, and I´m hurting myselft a lot, I have years and years of “ without resolving stuff” over me and my body and mind are saying “no more”, and that Is the reason that I was so out the past days, after the events my body, my mind were not working more, and in a creative work like this is a big problem. Maybe looks worst that it is, with my english is hard to express myself, its not like my mind is broken and I need go to the hospital or something like that, but the reallity is that is being hard deal with everything, and with all the problems that I was ignoring all this time much more, I´m still with the psychologist and she have not told me yet anything to how “cure” it (for now all the sessions are basically I talking and talking and no much more) but well at least talk about it helps a little.

After do nothing the past days I´m a little better in general so I can retake the work, I think that I will be able draw the patreon stuff this month (and I feel like doing it, so don't tell me "it's not necessary, rest" XD), after that in January I will taking 8 or 9 days to do nothing, rest, retake my hobbies, play videogames, read mangas, something… and I hope that I will recharge my batteries, and I will see how I go

I don’t really know how this next year will go, I have plans for a lot of stuff, I have a lot of commisions to do, I want travel to Japan 1 week in May to have a real disconect and probably I will have to move to other house because my Landlord told me 3 days ago that he was upping my rent a lot (and its too much for this house) and I have to deal with all the mental shit but well at least in this moment, with the psychologist and a little more perspective I can see the problem much better and look a way to get over it.

Well this are the reason why I was like that the past months, sorry everyone, I think that I will be able continue with no changes, with the “new perspective” work is a little more easy, we will see how go, but I wanted that everyone know what was happening with me.

Thanks for reading people.