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Poor Bastian. The man's literally cursed, you know. It makes people want to kidnap him and, well, you know. Thankfully that means they don't hurt him like they otherwise would. Gives Maxim and/or Normla plenty of time to save. Also he's like 3 feet tall, so he always gets comments like this.

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MechaBlerd

Luckiest unlucky bastard.

Byro Damus

Oh no! Such soft lips will turn him super gay for sure! Diabolical!