EL Official BK5 Chapter 23 - Crossing the Ocean with a Bunch of Fae (Patreon)

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A vibrant chorus of violin, cello and percussion sprinkled with a hint of piano filled the room from floor to ceiling. Washes of Fae passed in graceful swaths of dance. They looked like they were gliding across the dance floor and I couldn’t be sure that they weren’t, even when I squinted. Who knows what magic these people used.

Bemused, I took a small sip of my drink from the flat edge of the glass, and the floating olive in it smacked into my upper lip. I jerked back involuntarily to avoid the spike of the toothpick and spilled a dribble of what was probably obscenely expensive white wine down the front of my clothes. Great. Nothing like being the clumsy human in the room. 

I patted myself down discreetly, and set the drink aside. Praying no one noticed as I side eyed the room. Women dressed in silken dresses spun like candy and men with too many tassels who stood with rigid straightness like they had brooms stuck up their-

‘You know I can hear your thoughts too, Charley boy,’ Ronove chipped in.

‘Like you’re not thinking the same thing,’ I retorted.

‘At least I’m not spilling wine on us.’

Touché. I blocked him out to keep my inner peace and exhaled the anxious breath building in my stomach. This was a bad idea. Crossing the ocean with a bunch of Fae? Might as well have stuffed myself in a sardine tin and served myself up to them. These people were different from  Eric’s Fae… 

At the end of the room, far far away from me on the other side of the space, obscured and blocked from my view as much as I could manage was a buffet table. In the one horrific glimpse I had the misfortune of seeing, I caught sight of a tiered tray. It held an assortment of what was undoubtedly human remains and was topped by a set of fresh cleaned ribs pointed upward like morbid wings.

Surrounding it were cakes and finger pastries garnished with blood, teeth, and hair. And then between the breadsticks and a tray of grapes, was a human thigh turning slowly on a rotisserie. I shivered trying to banish the memory of it from my mind. What had I gotten myself into with these monsters? What was I thinking, leaving the protection of Eric and his friends?

Suddenly, I needed some air.  

Tugging my collar looser, I took two steps to the right and slipped out the side door onto the deck. The cool night breeze greeted me, and I breathed in the fresh smell of ocean mist as I slumped back against the doorframe, gasping down the air like I’d been running. The sweat on my brow cooled and I ran a trembling hand back through my hair. I was fine. Everything was just, fine.

I took a moment to decompress. Closing my eyes I let the weight drop off my shoulders, this was going to be a long voyage. When I could feel my legs again, I pushed off the wall and wandered along the walkway, careful to stay as far away from the railing as possible. The Fae ship was a massive wooden, sail ship. Built multi-storeys high at one end, it had three levels, two decks and a roof. 

Its masts were as big as tree trunks and too thick to wrap your arms around. They held taut, massive embroidered sails that swayed in the gentle breeze. The stitching shone under the moonlight as if it were made of gold and I stared up in awe. These fairy bastards made everything look magical.

I reached the stairs and descended onto the main deck. It was quiet away from the savage banquet. Calm waves lapped at the hull and I approached the loan figure standing toward the front of the ship. Achaicus leaned on the wooden railing, staring out across the ocean. His long icy white hair moved with the wind and he swirled his drink absently. 

He didn’t hear my approach and startled when I came to stand beside him, “Oh- Charles.”

“Didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” I laughed, clasping a hand on his shoulder. 

“It’s my fault, I was far away daydreaming,” he sighed with a wistful shake of his head. The man reminds me of a pottering old man, and an elegant butterfly at the same time.

“What were you thinking about?”

His gaze dropped to his glass as he considered what to tell me, before he turned away to return to staring out at the sea. I almost thought he wouldn’t answer at all when he spoke again, “I was thinking about my brother.”

“Ahh, the scary one,” I forced a grin.

“He’s not so scary,” Achaicus disagreed, “He just wears that sour look to scare people away.”

“Well, it works!”

He didn't answer, leaving me to flounder on my own. “So ahh, what were you thinking about him then?” I tried to strike up the conversation again. It wasn’t like I thought he didn’t want to talk, more that I knew he was the kind of person that felt like he didn’t know what to say. 

The man gave a soft, forlorn sigh, “I was thinking how I’ve spent far too long being jealous of my brother… it’s time for a change.”

“I didn’t think Fae got jealous,” I admitted, “Aren’t you all supposed to be above that kind of stuff?”

“Whatever gives you that idea?” he snorted out half a laugh, “Fae are fickle creatures, and envy is a shackle we have yet to free ourselves from. I am especially weighed down. My brother was the first born, and it was the eldest that mattered… We were only four minutes apart, and those four minutes shaped our entire futures. He was given everything: prestige, lands, castles… Dunkel was gifted to him the day he was born, due to be awarded to him on the day of our centenary. It’s his theoretical name on the paperwork..

He attended event after event while I was left behind. Lucinde stayed with me all those hours, she wasn’t permitted to attend either. My brother was off dancing among nobles, discussing the kingdom and the futures of our lands, attending soiree’s with no care in the world. His existence wasn’t conditional, he need not lift a finger for anything…” Achaicus paused, taking another swig of his drink, “Or so I thought,” he added.

“...What do you mean?” I prompted with stifled curiosity.

“As it would turn out my brother was rather like a hostage. Forced to attend gatherings late into the night, entertaining our father’s guests as if he were some kind of show piece, only to then wake early the following morning to attend his classes. It’s funny how adults twist words. Utter exhaustion is considered ‘laziness’. Difficulty concentrating is considered ‘not trying hard enough’, and both were excuses to punish.

My brother was beaten countless times by our father. Our kind don’t scar easily, but I’m sure you’ve seen my brothers back. It will heal, eventually, but until then, it’s a constant reminder of the mistakes I made…” Achaicus paused again, staring into the reflection of his wine glass, “...I took everything from him… his castle, his title, his name… I even tried to take Eric from him… I hated the way that boy looked at him with eyes so full of admiration.”

“They’re good together, in a kind of scary way,” I agreed lightheartedly, but he shook his head.

“You haven’t lived long enough yet to understand… That boy trusted my brother so completely that I couldn’t sway him, nothing I did made any difference, I showered him with attention whenever my brother wasn’t looking. I tried coaxing him, bribing him, threatening him… in the end it was all useless.

I thought I succeeded when I showed Eric that we ate humans, but even that didn’t break their bond the way I had hoped,” he snorted, “Actually, it might have made them stronger. Eric is a glutton for attention, and Nathaniel gave it tenfold when he misbehaved… It was foolish of me to try, petty… I’m glad my brother has him now. Grateful that he has someone who looks at him as if he were all the stars in the universe… and still, I’m jealous…”

Shifting from one foot to the other, I fidgeted uncomfortably, “Aren’t we all? I mean, everyone wants to be loved right?” I assured.

“Perhaps, but not everyone wishes to take it from another.”

“You…ahhh, want to be with Eric?” I asked awkwardly.

Achaicus pulled a face, “That’s not what I meant. I mean more so that I wish to be my brother, not simply have his name. I want his life for myself, I don’t care who it’s with… Maybe if I were him, Molly would have cared for me.”

“...I don't think that’s how it works.”

The fairy was quiet a long moment before he turned fractionally toward me, “Does their relationship bother you?”

“What? Oh, no… I mean, not really.” I rubbed the back of my head, awkward.

“But it does to some degree?”

“I guess, maybe a little bit, but not for whatever you’re thinking. It’s more like, I don’t trust it… They’re so close, what if something happens and they break up? How do you, you know, ‘survive’ a break-up like that? I mean they must know everything about each other, how do you trust another person that much? 

And what do you do if you just want some alone time?... When you’re with someone like that every choice you make is a joint decision. You can’t just do whatever you want anymore. There’s always some aspect of suppression… Your whole life is sort of ‘gone’ to be with them…” I trailed off, “I’m explaining it horribly.”

“They are mated for life, their bond won’t break. But you have trouble conceptualizing commitment,” Achaicus mused.

“No, I mean, it’s not like I’m some scumbag out there leading people on… I just… It’s a lot of work, your whole lifestyle has to change. If you want to get up early you gotta sneak out of bed, or if you want to sleep in you have to hope they don’t want to wake you up for something. You spend too long in the shower, and suddenly someone’s knocking on the door to check that you’re alright… There’s always some kind of responsibility you have to another person. I just can’t picture myself doing that.”

“You’ve been burdened with too much responsibility for too long,” Achaicus commented, and we fell into uncomfortable silence. 

A cool breeze rose off the waves as we stood side by side staring out across the ocean under the moonlight. It displaced the lighter strands of our hair and brought with it some kind of cleansing, as if in its vast eternity, it understood. Perhaps this trip would bring us each the peace we needed.

“...Are you afraid, Charles?” Achaicus asked, turning back.

“What, me? Nah, I’m good, fine,” I stumbled over the words badly enough that I might as well have tripped and fallen face first into the lie.

The fairy sensed as much, and reached out to touch me. His cold knuckles grazed the side of my cheek and he clasped my face in his hand, “It’s okay… I will protect you.” 

It might have been a comforting sentiment if it wasn’t for the way he said it like he was talking to a small animal or a baby. He was trying, but in his eyes I wasn’t a person, but a ‘Pet’, and I wasn't sure I appreciated that. 

“Thanks,” I said gently brushing him off, “So, question, why didn’t we just fly to Europe?”

“Fly?” He tilted his head like I’d spoken another language.

“Yeah, I mean, surely sailing over all this salt isn’t good for you? Right?” 

Understanding dawned, “Ships have more room for cars,” he answered in a matter of fact way without hesitation.

“You chose to sail so you could bring your own car?” I clarified, raising an eyebrow.

“Not only my car..”

Ridiculous. Fae are two steps away from extinction and now I think I understood why.

When he returned his attention to the sea I watched the waves roll by with him. Our journey across the Atlantic would take some weeks, and he was right, he was my only protection. If the ship was stranded, I would be on the menu and the anxiety hadn’t escaped me. 

My mind plagued me with endless scenarios, worries and fears that these monsters would turn on me. I hadn’t told anyone the real reason I wanted to travel to Europe. Not for the change of scenery, or even just to get the opportunity to travel… I wanted to learn more about witches. 

Eric mentioned in passing that there are a handful of different breeds of witches. That the term is more of an umbrella that describes a subset of abilities, and that the possession types are primarily found in Europe. I’d already exhausted Leúchtend’s libraries of materials that I could read, so I figured it was best to go to the source.

When we make land I’ll try to find out as much as I can about my condition and Ronové… if there’s a way to get rid of his tormenting presence without ripping a chunk out of my heart, I have to at least try to find it. I think he’s changing me, and it scares me. 

The power I feel in my veins, I see it in my eyes when I look in the mirror and it scares me. I feel like an addict spiraling out of control and the only people I could possibly tell would probably deem me a danger and kill me. I can’t tell Achaicus my true reasons, just like I couldn’t tell Eric. 

I don’t want to be weak, but I also don’t want to lose myself.

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