Eric Linnaeus | Book 3 | Chapter 28 - My Brothers Are Too Reliant On Each Other (Patreon)

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𝕄𝕪 𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝔸𝕣𝕖 𝕋𝕠𝕠 ℝ𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕆𝕟 𝔼𝕒𝕔𝕙 𝕆𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣ʟᴜᴄɪɴᴅᴇ ᴋʟᴇɪɴ: ᴍᴀʏ - ᴊᴜɴᴇ, 𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟶. ʀᴇᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴏғ 𝟷𝟾𝟾𝟸.

─── .✦········· ───

Warnings: non-sexualized and not explicit. But there is implied criminal/abusive behavior. All persons and depictions are fictional, representing no true event or circumstance. Viewer digression is advised.

“It could be worse,” Saskia commented beside me. She stood with her arms folded and her head tilted slightly as we observed my soon-to-be husband.

He was sparring across the yard with Markos and Baltzar, entirely unaware of our presence. Markos was defending against both of them with his scythe, while they used a combination of magic and weaponry to break his defenses with little success.

“What do you mean it could be worse? I don’t know the man!” I exclaimed, exasperated.

“Well, he’s not that much older, and rather easy on the eyes. What more were you hoping for?”

I didn’t dignify her logic with a response. The truth was that Mathéo wasn’t so bad, objectively. Our marriage had been arranged for some time. He was handsome with deep golden eyes, his hair was well-kept, and his canine teeth were long, representing the complete gene. More to the point, his family was well thought of, and their bought allegiance was something my father wanted given our rivalry with the South.

I’d not heard any rumors that Mathéo was unkind or incompetent, rather he was thought to be well-mannered and acquiescent. The problem was that I’d had no more than three conversations with him. He had little interest in me at the best of times, but I suppose he was still preferable to marrying my cousin, who had been my original intended.

“Although…” Saskia continued in a sly tone of voice, “Markos is looking rather fetching today—his shoulders are quite pleasant…”

“Gross.”

She shrugged, “He’s not my cousin.”

As we watched, Baltzar noticed us and smiled. He was momentarily distracted, and it was in that second that Markos switched from defense to offense. He tripped Baltzar and deflected the sword from Mathéo’s hand, leaving them both disarmed and too stunned to speak.

“You cheat Markos,” Baltzar complained ruefully.

“Hardly. Now pay up.”

“Best two out of three?”

“How many times must I beat you both?”

Baltzar delayed before tossing a gold coin poorly in Markos’s general direction, although he still caught it one-handed regardless.

“Show off,” Baltzar muttered.

“Perhaps if you spent less time flirting and more time training, it wouldn’t take the both of you to face me.”

“I’m not the one who can’t get married even if it’s arranged.”

“I have other goals,” he said simply, offering Baltzar a hand up.

“You never think of anyone but yourself, do you?”

“No.”

“They’ve returned,” Mathéo interrupted their conversation to announce the arrival of my father and his hunting party.

They rode in on beautiful dark horses with golden manes. Each animal was clad in leather tack and adorned with silver chainmail for decorative purposes. They had been out hunting a creature in the woods as Fae had been disappearing of late.

The group was led by two guards, followed by my father and his nobles, with a secondary grouping of guards after them. At the very back was the eldest of my younger brothers. He looked rather miserable, if not quietly angry. Beside him rode Hasan, who was holding onto the bridle of my brother’s horse leading it. That was unusual; it’s not like he didn’t know how to ride, so why he was being guided was beyond me.

“Your brother looks to have gotten himself in some trouble again.”

I narrowed my eyes, trying to read my little brother’s expression accurately before I responded, “No… I think he’s simply displeased that he was forced to participate.”

“He looks downcast.”

“Since father sent !Nathaniel away, that’s just how he is.”

“He’s covered in bruises. I heard he lost his wits at some of his classmates not long ago?” Saskia asked cautiously, though curiosity burned in her eyes.

I shrugged, “He’s always getting into fights; he doesn’t like it when others talk to him.”

“He really thinks he’s too good for everyone, doesn’t he? No wonder he doesn’t have any friends.”

I ignored her comment. As much as I liked Saskia, she didn’t understand my family. !Achaicus was the youngest in his classes, and when someone mentioned !Nathaniel, he snapped. However, it wasn’t his classmates who had hurt him; it was our father when he found out about the fight.

─── .✦········· ───

Living in my family is a balancing act. You answer when spoken to, and your responses must be full yet precise. If you are asked to do something, you do it without hesitation unless it’s rhetorical, in which case you must not try. Although it’s still generally best to seem willing regardless; Father doesn’t like to be disrespected or to repeat himself.

If you do make a mistake the only thing you can do is apologize and beg forgiveness. You might be forgiven, or not, depending on Father’s mood. I myself am rarely punished. I follow the rules, do as I’m asked, and make good grades. It’s my place to be seen, not heard, and I’m good at it. Soon I will move to my husband’s primary residence, and I will be glad for it. That was the only bonus to being sold; getting to move out. I would have been willing to live with Mathéo the day we were engaged, but Father wouldn’t permit it.

Our mother is half of our father’s age, and probably as trapped as we are. Most nights, we have dinner in the main hall with everyone else, but occasionally we have dinner privately. Those are the nights I truly dread. We sit at a spaced-out distance along the length of the long table and will eat dinner in silence. I like to pretend that I’m nothing more than a mouse, for even the sound of cutlery on China plates is too loud for Father’s liking.

A drop of blood from !Achaicus’s humayne landed on the white lace tablecloth, and I tensed. Father had noticed; he always notices.

“What are you doing there, boy? Making a mess?” our father demanded.

“You’re the one who insisted the meat be fresh tonight; it’s still laden with blood,” !Achaicus answered without looking up, and I held my breath for him. Why couldn’t he just apologize?

“So you know you have to be careful, and yet you were not?”

!Achaicus set his jaw and tightened his grip on the knife he held, but answered with astounding calmness, “I’ll be more careful next time, Father.”

“You intend there to be a ‘next time’?” As he spoke he put down his cutlery to focus on !Achaicus.

Our mother made no move to intervene. Instead, she politely continued eating her food as if nothing were happening, while I glared at my brother; willing him to say he was sorry.

“I’ll clean the cloth, Father,” I volunteered through my teeth when he didn’t.

“There’s no point, human blood stains far too easily. The entire thing will have to be thrown out now.”

“Good, it’s ugly anyway…” !Achaicus murmured to himself.

Immediately Father stood, and my brother took in a breath; he knew what was coming. Lazarus picked up his table drink, a wine glass filled with blood, and emptied it over his son’s head. The semi-coagulated liquid coated his hair and splashed over his shoulders, staining the tablecloth further and ruining his clothes.

A long moment passed as we all waited, suspended in anxiety for whatever Father would do next. “What? Nothing more to say?” he demanded.

“No, Father.”

“Good. Clean this shit up and polish the silverware.”

“Yes, Father,” he responded bitterly, wiping the blood off his face. We all knew well that would take time, and that meant !Achaicus would likely not get any sleep.

Father left the room not long after giving the instructions, and our mother departed in turn, while I remained to help my brother clean up.

“Why couldn’t you just apologize?” I scolded him as we scrubbed.

“It wouldn’t have made any difference anyway.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Whatever.”

“What is wrong with you?” I demanded, “Do you think !Nathaniel would like to see you hurt because you can’t just do what Father wants?”

His eyes moved to me, they burned with pure hatred and his energy swirled around him dangerously. “Don’t say his name,” he hissed with malice.

“He’s my brother too; I can say his name if I want.”

“He’s not your twin, and you could never understand; he’s a part of me! Maybe if someone ripped you in half, then you could understand a fraction of what it’s like to be separated.”

I scoffed, “You’re so dramatic.”

!Achaicus ignored me as he focused on scrubbing the blood off the table.

“Don’t just ignore me. You’re so much worse now than you ever were. Starting fights in class or otherwise outright not showing up, arguing with Father. What’s your problem?”

“Nothing.”

He was such a poor liar, “It’s your arts class that you’re skipping. I thought you liked Hasan, and you like piano. When Father finds out-”

“Could you just shut up? You don’t understand anything.”

I smiled bitterly, “You’re punishing yourself, aren’t you? You think it’s your fault !Nathaniel was sent away.”

“It is my fault.”

“No, it’s not. It’s Father-”

“Lucinde,” he warned, and I fell silent. !Achaicus looked a lot like our father when he was angry, but I knew I was right.

My little brother was good at all arts, piano, violin, the harp, even painting, and Hasan was his favorite teacher. He’d been instructing the twins since they were little, and I knew !Achaicus looked up to him. In fact, Hasan was the reason my brother didn’t often speak with others.

He had been the one to teach him that we had to be careful of those around us. Just in the same way that I’m careful with what I tell Saskia. She had wrongly assumed !Achaicus thought himself better than everyone, while in truth it’s more because it’s difficult to gauge true friendships when your family are nobles. Even among the other nobles, most are only friendly to gain some kind of advantage, and I never truly know who is genuine.

Although, his general shyness doesn’t help. As children !Nathaniel was always the outgoing one of the two. They were, in my opinion, too reliant on each other. Being separated probably did them some good.

─── .✦········· ───

Not all that much time passed before the day came when there was a soft knock on my bedroom door. It was moderately late in the evening, and I was preparing to sleep, so I was somewhat confused. It took me a moment to cross the large room, and I hurried to put away a few items of clutter just in case it was my father knocking.

I opened the door to see no one standing there and peered out into the hall skeptically. There wasn’t anyone around, and I was beginning to close the door again when he spoke. “Can I stay with you tonight…?” !Achaicus asked softly.

He was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall beside the door frame. “What? No? Go away,” I whispered in a hushed tone. Father never liked it when the twins shared a room, so I couldn’t imagine he would be pleased if he found out !Achaicus stayed the night with me, and I was not willing to risk punishment for him.

“…Okay,” he murmured without protest, and I delayed in closing the door.

After a long moment, he moved to get up. He was wearing his night clothes, with a long coat over the top and it looked as though he had been crying. There were tear stains down his cheeks, and when he stood, I noticed he was hurt.

“…Is that blood? That’s disgusting; go wash up.”

He didn’t respond, so I continued, “What? Are you bleeding like a human girl? Is there something you need to tell us? What have you been doing?” I scolded him. There was no way I was going to let him in like that.

My little brother took a breath in to respond but sobbed involuntarily as his eyes welled with fresh tears, “I thought it had stopped…” he whispered so that I could hardly hear as he began to cry in earnest.

Seeing him cry like that made me uncomfortable, and I didn’t know what to do. “What happened..?” I asked reluctantly.

“N-Nothing… I-I don’t want to talk about it…” he choked.

He was so obviously lying, and my eyes widened as I slowly came to understand, “I-.. W-well you better not make any more mess inside, alright?” I tried to sound as uncaring as I could. I didn’t ask any further, and I didn’t want to know.

When my brother didn’t move, I took hold of his arm to drag him into my room. I could risk punishment for this, I supposed. He flinched when I grabbed him but offered no resistance. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t really know what to do; I didn’t want him bleeding all over my room.

“Stop being such a baby, give me your pants, and go clean yourself up. You’re fine,” I told him firmly, shoving him toward the bathroom. Of course I knew he was upset, but I don’t know what he expected from me. We weren’t that close, and I didn’t want to be the one to deal with this.

For once in his life, he did exactly as he was told, and I scrubbed the blood from his pants while he sat in the bathroom crying. I dried his clothes with magic and left them outside the bathroom door for him to take. He stayed in there for what felt like forever before he eventually came out.

“You look like something the cat threw up.”

“…Sorry,” he mumbled. He was broken, and I hated it.

“Whatever, I want to sleep now, so you had better be quiet. And don’t hog the sheets, alright?”

!Achaicus nodded, and I allowed him into my bed. He was scrawny as a young teen; he had not eaten or slept enough since !Nathaniel was gone. My brother curled up tightly to one side of the bed while I lay as far away as I could on the other. He sobbed quietly, covering his head with his arms and I swallowed hard.

I had never before seen him this way. Usually my little brother was stronger than this, better at hiding his emotions… I listened to his whimpering until I could no longer stand it, before reaching out to him. He flinched when touched, but I pulled him in close regardless. I cuddled him against me, I’m not sure we had ever hugged before that moment, and it was somewhat awkward. But gradually he ran out of tears and began to calm.

“…Lucinde…” he called my attention so softly I almost didn’t hear it.

“Go to sleep.”

“…I have to go to my lessons tomorrow.”

“Just like every day. What’s your point?”

“…Could you come to my arts lesson? Please…?”

“No,” I replied bluntly; I didn’t have the time in the day to attend his classes and my own.

─── .✦········· ───

When I awoke the following morning, !Achaicus was gone and there was no trace that he had ever been there. At least he didn’t stain the sheets, I thought. He was so dramatic, too soft to be a man. If he didn’t grow up soon, our father would ruin him for it. Still, as I touched the place where he once lay I felt an unusual guilt, perhaps I should have comforted him more.

The day drew on, and I found myself wandering aimlessly. I had completed the dress I was mending early, and Saskia was busy with her own family. Without intending it, I drifted toward the studio. It was about the right time of day that my brother should be in there for his private lesson, and I was mildly curious.

I crossed the courtyard garden and bundled my dress as I trotted up the stairs. The front door was locked with magic, not unusual, and I went around to the back door instead. It was rarely used because it was somewhat out of the way, and when you entered through it you still had to travel down the hall to the theater room.

Piano notes filled the air, and I walked quietly; I didn’t want to disturb his practice. I merely wanted to see what !Achaicus’s problem was; he’d never asked me to come watch before. He hit an off-key and stopped playing, “…Can we just focus on the lesson?”

“You’re doing fine. Just keep playing; you only need one hand,” Hasan responded casually, and I peeked around the corner to see !Achaicus seated at the piano.

Hasan sat beside him. The man had one arm around my brother, pushing up his shirt at his waist, while the other was holding his hand in his lap.

“I need both hands to play…”

“No you don’t. I’ve seen you play very well with just the one.”

“…Please?” he begged more timidly, and Hasan chuckled.

“Come now, there’s no harm. Besides, I would hate to have to tell your father that you failed to show up today. He didn’t like that news very much the last time, and I might not be around to save you again. Remember, you owe me.”

“I didn’t miss any lessons,” !Achaicus hissed, frustrated.

“Now, who would ever believe that with everything else you do?”

My brother said nothing more, but he was sitting rather stiffly, and his energy moved around him anxiously.

“Well, !Achaicus? Nothing to say?”

“No…”

“Then please, continue to play-”

I knocked on the wall to announce my presence and both were startled.

“Lady Lucinde, a pleasure,” Hasan greeted me as he casually let go of !Achaicus’s hand. “What brings you here?”

“I had some spare time; thought I’d come to see how my little brother is improving.”

“He’s exceptional. More talented than his brother for certain.”

“Naturally, he is the eldest,” I agreed, taking a seat not far from them, “You don’t mind if I stay, do you?”

“Not at all; it’s a delight to have you here,” he forced a smile, and I returned it with my own shallow expression.

He didn’t want me there, and I knew it. Regardless, Hasan kept his hand on !Achaicus’s waist as the lesson continued, and I set my jaw. He was shameless, I thought bitterly. From that day onward, I showed up to every one of !Achaicus’s arts lessons. I watched him practice violin, paint, and play piano every day until the end of the summer when Hasan returned to Europe.

“Lucinde,” !Achaicus called my attention.

“Yeah? What?”

“..Thank you… For watching me practice…”

“I wasn’t doing it for you, I was just hiding from Ávila and her stupid sewing lessons.”

“…Still,” he whispered. He was standing before me and held onto the long sleeve of my dress, giving it a gentle tug. That was more contact than we commonly had, and I allowed it without acknowledgment.

“You’re really annoying, you know that?” I mumbled uncomfortably, and he nodded, keeping his gaze low.

“I know… You’re annoying to me too.”

I exhaled, ruffling his long hair before turning away. We didn’t need to say anything else.

─── .✦········· ───

I watched from afar as the years passed and he grew taller. Raisa appeared around the time !Achaicus’s true abilities came in, he was entirely unable to control them, and she was assigned to help him. I’ll never understand how they got together; she was too rough for him. Regardless I gave him advice when he asked, and I was unlucky enough to catch them together one day.

They were lying on the grass in the middle of the southern training field. It is the least used or frequented one because it’s both far from the castle and close to the forest. I was only down there as I had taken my horse for a ride to keep her in shape before returning her to the fields. Neither noticed my approach as they were too busy with each other.

Raisa was lying on top of !Achaicus, he was shirtless, and she was pant less as she kissed him aggressively. My brother looked so uncomfortable I almost laughed. She was pulling his hair and trying to undo his pants with her free hand, a pointless task, really.

“No-… please?” he breathed, pushing her hand away.

“Stop it,” she complained, “Just let me get your pants off.”

“Can we slow down a bit?”

“…Yeah, sure,” she didn’t sound happy, but obliged, kissing him with less passion for a moment before biting his lip.

“Would you relax? What is your problem?” she demanded, lightly hitting his chest with her fist, “Are you going to be like this every time?”

“I’m sorry…”

“You should be; this is stupid. What’s your problem?”

“Nothing! I- this is… it’s just too..”

“Too what?” she pressed, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

“I don’t know…”

“Well, we don’t have a lot of time here, and I’ve told you I like it rough, so if you’re worried about hurting me, don’t.”

“It’s not you I’m worried about…”

“Then what? It’s not like I can hurt you.”

“Can we please just go a little slower..?” he mumbled, turning flush.

“Slower? You’re already like kissing a statue! You’re so tense. Fight me a little! You’ll get over it.”

“Raisa… please…” he turned away from her, and she sighed deeply.

“!Nathaniel would let me do whatever I wanted,” she mumbled, and he fell silent. “Oh, come on, that did not get to you, did it?”

“…Get off me…”

She rolled her eyes but began to stand, “Fine, whatever…-” she stopped when she saw me, and I glared down at her from atop my horse.

“Lucinde! I was just… we were-” !Nathaniel stammered.

“I don’t care. But you shouldn’t be doing this so publicly. Anyone could see.”

“I’m not ashamed,” Raisa assured; she was failing to consider my brother, who looked as though he wished the earth would swallow him whole. I had little tolerance for people like her, she was a leech. Trying to worm her way into the upper castle through my little brothers.

Still, I knew they would never last. She had chosen the wrong twin. !Nathaniel was the one who would do anything another person wanted, but !Achaicus? Most days, I wasn’t even convinced he liked girls and I thought they were headed toward a breakup when our father had her killed.

That was an awful thing, I didn’t go, but Mathéo was sure to tell me about it when he got home. !Achaicus was never quite the same after that. He was always quiet, but the new calm that settled over him was an empty emotion. As if all the joy he had ever had never existed. He improved somewhat when his brother returned, although he was much the same. A hollow person.

─── .✦········· ───

Nowadays, Achaicus is more nervous, especially around our brother. Can’t say I blame him, after all, he did hand him over to Father. That didn’t surprise me either. Nathaniel has become the man I expected him to be. Strong, controlled, good at leadership, and wise in politics. When I heard rumors that they were switched I laughed in the face of anyone who would suggest such a thing. But I knew it to be true.

I’ve never been especially good at telling them apart based on appearance, but I know the difference in their personalities, and ‘Nathaniel’s’ choice of illegal Pet gave him away. The youngest of my brothers would never break rules like that, but the eldest? It was almost a certainty, and I played along with their charade. They are the same brothers I have always known, even if they answer to opposite names.

Sometimes I wonder if this was their way of deflecting the past, by pretending it happened to someone else? For this reason it didn’t surprise me when I got word that Nathaniel was missing after learning his pet was not human.

“Sister, have you seen our brother?” Achaicus approached me in a fluster as I sat with my daughters.

“Not since the meeting,” I answered, uncaring.

“He’s not in his office…”

“Is that where he told you he would be?”

“…Yes.”

“Then he was probably never there. I wouldn’t want to go anywhere people could find me if my Pet imploded either.”

My littlest brother looked annoyed, “I don’t know why I bothered to ask you at all,” he grumbled irritated as he turned to leave.

“Shouldn’t we help look? If Uncle Nathaniel is missing..?” my eldest daughter asked softly. She was a sweeter child than I or my husband, I don’t know where she got it from.

“No, he’s fine,” I answered simply.

It wasn’t hard to guess where he was, and I had no intention of giving him up to our brother. It wasn’t terribly difficult to understand: my little brother wished to be alone and hunting him down wouldn’t help.

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