Equal and Opposite: Worm Oneshot (Patreon)

[Equal and Opposite]

Hospitals had always felt weirdly cold for me. Temperature-wise, I mean. The chill in the air raised perpetual goosebumps across my arms and legs and brought back bad memories that I had to force down like bile in the back of my throat.

It couldn’t feel any better for the man in front of me either. He was so thin and pale, and his skin looked like it was basically hanging off of his body, mottled and covered in spots and bruises that old people got without even realizing it. His eyes met mine but I wasn’t sure he actually saw me. Didn’t chemotherapy affect lucidity? 

A flat voice came from my right. “Alright, start when you’re ready.”

I nodded and gently grabbed the man’s hand. His fingers were thin and his skin was cold. Poor circulation. I couldn’t fix that, but I could still help. That was the important part.

My power slipped from the churning well in my breast, passing through my arms and into him instead. He gasped, his fingers twitching as I kept them gently clasped between my own. The heart monitor nearby beeped steadily to the right of him as I breathed in time with him.

A gentle glow passed between us, dying the sterile white room a gentle mint green. The man took a deep breath that caused the sheets to rise several inches like a swelling welt. His hand tightened against mine, stronger than before, stronger than he was probably capable of before. I didn’t know what my power was doing to him on a biological level, but I could feel it working him over. The strength in my breast trickled out like water dripping through a hole in a bucket, leaving me for someone far more deserving.

How much would this cost, I wondered as the heart monitor beeped its baleful tone in my ears. This man would have died in a few months if I wasn’t here. His chemo would begin working, he’d be on the upswing, bound for recovery. And then his cancer would come back twice as strong. He’d be dead days after that. His children and grandchildren would be devastated and his wife… She wouldn’t last long without him.

Two lives. So much misery and pain was being wiped away right now. My actions here today would see this man live a happy life for the next two years when the world took him naturally. I was doing a good thing, there was no doubt about it.

Why did I come here? Why did I do this knowing how things were going to be, would have to be to make this right?

I knew the answer. Though it wouldn't make swallowing the consequences of my selfishness any easier.

The room returned to its natural shade as my power eradicated the cancer completely. The light caressing the sheets faded to a glowworm glow as I released the now-sleeping man’s hand and let out a breath. “I’m done.”

An arm wrapped in pure white robes reached past me. Freckled fingers grazed the back of the old man’s wrinkled hand, pausing for just a moment before retreating. I waited anxiously for the diagnosis, my fingers twitching against my ill-fitting scrubs. After a moment, tired eyes turned to meet mine.

“He’s cured.” Panacea said, and my shoulders slumped with my sigh. At the edge of the room, one of the gathered doctors—technicians? They were wearing labcoats but they didn’t seem very doctor-ey—stepped forward. He was holding a clipboard and looked like one of those guys you’d sit next to on the bus and barely notice.

“Are you absolutely certain?  If we need to run more tests—”

Panacea rolled her eyes, looking fed up. “The cancer’s gone. So’s his hernia, and pneumonia. The man’s a picture of health, and he doesn’t even need to eat his weight in calories like he would if I did it. Now can you please sign this woman up and lighten my workload a bit?”

The doctors-technicians whispered amongst themselves. I wasn’t sure what they were talking about but it sounded intense, like a group of lawyers arguing whether or not to send a client upriver. I tried not to let my nervousness show on my face. The emptiness in my chest told me I would pay for what I did today, would pay for it in the near future. Once again, I wondered if this was a bad idea.

No. I scolded myself before I could slip down that hole again. These people need help and I have the power to help them. That old man is going to wake up and be told he’s going to live and he’s… 

Never going to know what it cost. That was fine. I was fine with that.

“Solace?” 

There was a second or two where nobody did anything, before I realized that everyone was staring at me. I straightened. Right, that was my name. My hero name. I was still getting used to that. “Y-Yes?”

The man in front smiled while the rest of his coworkers filed out of the room. He held something out to me and I took it after a second. “Congratulations on becoming a partner of the Protectorate. We would like to thank you for lending your powers to a greater cause, and ask you to come in tomorrow for an official I.D. Well done.”

His words should have been a cause for joy, and in some ways, they were. I’d gotten what I wanted. I could work at the hospital now and help people, ease their worries and their pains, and bring a little more joy to the world with every patient.

“T-Thank you so much! You…”  I swallowed past the knot in my throat and the ache in my chest. “You don’t know how much this means to me.”

His face softened with understanding and he chuckled. “I’m happy for you. It’s not every day someone your age gets powers and decides to do good with them. You’re a fine woman, Solace.”

Wrong, my mind reminded me. I looked back towards the bed, at the man I’d just saved.

“I just want to help people,” I said softly. “That’s all.”

My heart was pounding as I stepped out into the pouring rain. The faded smell of petrichor drifted into my nose as I watched sheets of water run away the filth clogging the streets. I inhaled a lungful, smiling widely despite the rain soaking into my skin and scrubs. It was a good day.

There was one other person at the bus stop as I walked up. He was wearing a nice, fitted suit and holding an umbrella. He barely looked at me, glaring at the sheet stuck to the glass. “Damn bus is always late…” he muttered as I took a seat on the bench behind him, adopting a hunch and staring at my hands.

They were shaking. I still couldn’t believe this was happening. Here I was, thirty years old, wearing a crappy little costume that most kids would be embarrassed to be seen in, and happier than I had ever been in my life. I was doing it. I was going to help people. With my power, I was going to make the world a better place.

The man in front of me let out a frustrated huff, and I was dragged from my manic daydreams and into reality. My smile faded into the hollowness in my chest, that empty spot where all the good in me had gone. Right. Despite everything, I had nearly forgotten.

I raised my eyes to the man in front of me. He seemed to have realized that the bus wasn’t coming anytime soon and was messing around on his phone. I looked him up and down. Nice suit, expensive watch. He probably made a lot of money. There was a ring on his finger too, so… married. Good for him.

He can handle more than most, I decided, dooming him with a thought.

I focused on my power, though not in the same way as before. If I had to describe the difference, I would equate it to opening a door. In the hospital, my power had pushed that door open, letting the good I kept trapped inside of me out into the man on the bed. Now, that door had changed direction. It wanted to let something in.

It took something from the man, something inextricably tied to him, and as invisible as the air around him. He didn’t notice its disappearance, but the world did. And I did too.

I was careful. Always careful not to take too much. Everyone had a limit, and while I could estimate it, I never knew exactly where that line was. That was what made my power so dangerous.

The bus rolled down the street, high-beams bouncing off the water as its brakes brought it to a squealing halt. The man huffed, checking his watch and muttering, “Finally.”

I rose from my bench as the doors swung open, but I didn’t move just yet. Instead, I watched with some trepidation as the man took his first steps towards the bus… and tripped over his own shoelaces which had come untied during his frantic pacing.

He staggered forward but couldn’t recover. A dull thud rang across the rainy street as he smacked his head on the steps leading up into the bus and fell into the stream quickly forming beside the curb. His phone, which had been haphazardly put in his pocket when he saw the bus pulling up, slipped out and skittered across the asphalt, coming to rest right beside the bus’s wheel in a puddle. The shattered screen flickered, then shut off. His photos were gone too, all his personal data, wiped in an instant.

I didn’t bother trying to help him up, stepping over him as he cursed and scrambled towards it, tearing his suit to shreds on the rough asphalt. He’d try to take it to a tailor, but they wouldn’t be able to repair the damage. He’d have to buy a new one. It would eat into his savings, but wouldn’t leave him completely broke.

The bus driver gave me a dirty look as I climbed the stares, and I returned it as a scowl. Flashing my bus pass, I moved towards the back of the bus where it was quietest. There were a few teens filling the seats, and they openly laughed at the businessman as he climbed in, soaked from head to toe and trying in vain to save his waterlogged phone.

I watched him for a second or two before turning away, trying not to let it show on my face exactly what his misery did for me. His day would get worse; it might even be the worst day of his life. But he’d survive. He might even go on to do more good in the world than I ever could if he could move past this.

Good and bad. Bad and good. The world couldn’t have too much of any, at least as far as my power was concerned. In a world where that old man beat cancer and went on to live, this man lost money and precious memories and probably much more as the day rolled along. 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. One man’s bad day did not equal two years of a life never earned. The scales weren’t balanced yet.

I stared out the window, watching the city roll by behind sheets of rain, and wondered what it would take to tip them back in the right direction.

And how much I was willing to do to keep them there.