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Epilogue

Abby

A knock sounded on my front door, and I set my morning tea down on the dining table and stood to answer it. I opened to find Camille and Kyla standing outside, and while I’d expected them, I hadn’t expected to see Luna standing behind them. It’d been a week since the lab. Camille and Kyla had come to visit me a few times, but their frequent report about Luna was that she’d barely even leave her room. Only, here she was. Standing with them outside my apartment.

She looked about as good as I expected, which wasn’t great. There were heavy bags under her hazel eyes like she hadn’t slept at all the last week, and her shoulders were slouched with exhaustion and defeat. She was wearing a sweater to try and hide the obviousness of her surgery, and she was turned slightly away, but even that couldn’t mask it completely. Her left arm had been amputated at the shoulder, and the sleeve was pinned up so it didn’t dangle and get in the way. It was the kind of thing that seemed more obvious only because she didn’t want it to be.

"Luna," I said, “it’s good to see you.”

She shrugged and tossed a glance at the grocery bags in Camille’s hands. “Camille said she’d make polenta if I came.”

“It’s her favorite,” Camille said.

“It’s extortion,” Luna murmured.

I smiled, because even if Luna’s humor wasn’t as easy as usual, at least she was trying, and it was comforting that she still couldn’t say no to food. I waved them in, but as Luna passed me, I had the strong urge to say something. What, I had no idea. She was even putting off strong signals and thoughts that she didn’t want to talk about it, but that didn’t lessen my need to let her know I was here for her. Or ask her how she was healing. Or apologize. I just didn’t know how to start.

She could sense it though, and she blew a breath through tight lips and said, “Okay, look, I’m fine, and we’re still friends, but there’s nothing to talk about.”

And that was the signal that I really shouldn’t bring it up, no matter what. “Okay.” I nodded and shut the door behind them, and said, “But you should get Camille to bribe you with polenta more often, because I can’t wait to eat some.”

Luna gave a smile that almost reached her eyes. “That can be arranged.”

"How are you holding up?" Kyla asked me, following as I led them to the kitchen where Camille could get organized.

I’d already brewed a pot of coffee for their arrival, so Kyla wandered over to it while I answered, “Fine, I guess.” And almost on cue, my cellphone started ringing in my pocket. I pulled it out to check the caller ID, and at seeing who it was, I instantly hit ‘decline.’

“Your mom again?” Camille asked.

“For the millionth time,” I confirmed. “I should just answer and tell her she’s making me want to come back even less.”

“She’s worried about you,” Kyla offered as she stirred cream and sugar into three cups of coffee.

“That’s her own damn fault,” I said.

“Agreed,” Luna added from where she had her head buried in my freezer.

She came out with a tub of cookie dough, and wandered over to the silverware drawer to grab a spoon, taking both to my kitchen table. She had the right idea, and I wandered over to drop down next to her, stealing the spoon to scoop some out for myself and then handing it back.

“You’re going in this morning?” Camille asked.

I stole a glance at the digital clock on the stove. “Yeah, I should leave actually.” It didn’t matter whether I was ready, or if I was still hurting from the betrayal. It was finally time that I faced my father.

“What are you gonna say to him?” Kyla asked.

I shrugged as I stood. “I’ll tell him what he wants to hear.” I glanced around the kitchen, a big part of me not wanting to leave the safety of my apartment, especially now that Camille and Kyla were here. “You know… once I go back, I’m going to have to be careful about not being seen with you guys where anyone from the Council might spot us.” I couldn’t go to the Pack house anymore either.

Kyla strode over to me, saying, “Well then it’s a good thing you gave us a key to your apartment.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into a hug. “We’ll be here when you get back.”

I nodded, hugging her to me as I took in a deep breath, drawing strength from her comfort and confidence. When I felt ready, I let her go.

“Good luck,” Camille said, offering a small smile.

I returned it as best I could, and as I headed toward the front door, I called back, “Make sure Luna saves me some cookie dough! I’m going to need it!”

“Fine,” Luna called back. “I’ll only eat most of it.”

I headed out of my apartment and to the parking lot where my car was. It wasn’t a long drive to the Council office, but somehow, with my building nerves and anxiety, it felt like both ages and a blink all at once. It was like I had time to run through every worst-case scenario I could imagine as I stared out the windshield and drove on autopilot, but was parked outside the office before I even realized it. With one last deep breath, I got out of the car and trudged to the office entrance.

My mother was inside at the front desk, talking to the receptionist, but she did a double take when I walked in and stared at me. I sort of froze for a few seconds too, staring back at her. Part of this plan I’d developed to infiltrate the Council meant that I had to act like nothing was wrong, but seeing her again for the first time was like taking a punch to the gut from a jackhammer. I’d always been so much closer to my mom, she’d always been the one I expected so much from, the one I trusted not to let me down. But she had, and the moisture pooling in her eyes as we stared at each other matched the tears forming in mine.

But I had to be strong. I blinked the tears away and pointed toward my dad’s office. “Is he in?” She nodded, but the receptionist was skeptical, and I told him with a roll of my eyes, “I promise I’m not armed.” I paced to the door of my father’s office, inhaled a trembling breath and tried to calm my suddenly racing heart, and then entered.

He looked up as I closed the door behind me, the surprise on his face obvious. “Abby… I wasn’t sure when I’d see you again.”

“I wasn’t either.”

He studied me for a moment before asking, “Why are you here?”

Stay calm, I told myself. Keep a straight face. Lie your fucking ass off, Abby. “You were right,” I told him.

His brow furrowed with confusion and interest. “About what?”

I swallowed hard, taking a moment to compose myself so it would sound like the truth when I said, “About why I was mad about the lab. About the wolves.” That captured his attention, and he leaned back in his seat to listen intently. “This isn’t easy for me to say,” I said with feigned anger, “so don’t you dare say ‘I told you so.’”

“I promise.”

“I had…” I cleared my throat around the word. Around the lie. “Feelings for them. I feel so goddamn stupid. Naïve.” I inhaled another shaky breath, hoping he’d see it as remorse and pain over what I was telling him, rather than the fear and pain caused by him. “I did everything they ever wanted, and you know how they reacted when they found out about the lab?”

He stayed quiet with a look of sympathy that made my heart ache. All I’d ever wanted from him was this, was for him to listen like he actually cared. But he didn’t care about how I was feeling. All he wanted to know was that he’d been right.

“They blamed me for everything anyway. Kicked me out. Threatened me. After everything I gave for them, they looked at me like I was beneath them.” The corner of my mouth twitched with a frown as my eyes filled with tears. You broke my heart. “They broke my heart, Dad.” I pursed my lips, gathering every bit of hurt and anger and hostility I felt toward my father to make it convincing when I spat, “Well you know what? Fuck them.”

A smile played across the edge of his lips, but he said with so much sincerity that I almost believed him, “I’m sorry they hurt you.”

I shrugged, blinking away the tears. “Past is past. I won’t make that mistake again. You’re my family, and… I’m sorry I shot you...”

“Past is past,” he said with a small laugh. “I’m glad you’re back. I have a case for you, if you’re ready.”

“Lay it on me,” I told him, but instantly held up my index finger, “on one condition.” He cocked his head curiously. “I want Silmond fired.”

He chuckled, “On what grounds?”

“He’s a dick,” I said. “He tazed and sedated me and he had fun doing it.” I shrugged. “Can’t say I won’t punch him in the face every time I see him.”

“Done,” he agreed. He reached into a drawer of his desk, and while he shuffled through files to find the one he wanted, he asked, “So the Pack knows the Council was involved in the lab?” I hummed an affirmative. “Why haven’t they made a move?”

“They wanted to,” I told him. “But I lied and said the lab gave you a way to wipe them all out, and that you wouldn’t use it if they let it go. You know the Alpha’s a survivalist.”

“Quick thinking,” he praised. He pulled out the file and laid it on his desk, but paused for a moment, staring at it in thought. “You know,” he mused, looking up at me, “do you think there’s any way the Pack would take you back?”

I nearly staggered backward in shock. “What?”

“I’ve got to be honest, Abby, I don’t trust them one bit.” He gestured toward me with an expression of lingering distaste. “Look at how they treated you, after you were so loyal.” I didn’t say anything, just stared at him, my mind so blank with surprise I could hardly process what he was saying. “But they have such closed ranks. They’re so private. I’ve never known anyone to get as close as you did.”

I whispered hoarsely, “You want me to…”

“Go back, yes,” he said. “If they’ll take you. Having someone on the inside would be invaluable.”

I almost let out a strained, manic laugh right in his face. He was serious. He wanted me to do the same thing to the Pack that I was doing to him, and he had no idea. It was both the worst possible thing I could do and the best solution to how I could still be around Camille and Kyla.

“I don’t know…” I said thoughtfully, doing my best to sell it. “They were so mad. But Kyla, the…” I nearly choked on the word. “The mutt, she’s always had a soft spot for me. I might be able to exploit it.”

"Good," he said, clearly pleased. “But don’t put yourself at unnecessary risk.”

"Understood.” I stepped forward and held out my hand for the file on his desk, and he gave it to me just as he had so many others – slapping it into my hand with a trusting nod. “I’ll get right on it.”

I turned to start for the door, but as I reached it, he called, “Abby.” I stopped and turned to face him, and he smiled at me like he meant it. “Welcome home.”

I gave the most convincing smile I could, and then left his office to go to my desk and familiarize myself with the case he’d just given me, but that greeting was a knife in the heart. He was no longer someone I looked up to. He was no longer my family. And I didn’t know if the Council would ever feel like home again.