Endgame: Chapter 22 (Patreon)

Endgame: Chapter 22

Christmas night I was sitting on the couch in my parents’ living room, bundled up in the soccer-themed onesie they’d gotten me. The hood was pulled up over my head while I leaned back against Anna’s side, taking comfort from the extra heat of the puppy onesie she was wearing. Wayne was sitting on the other side of her, and we were all cozied up under a blanket watching a Christmas-themed romance movie that was cheesy as hell but still made me feel awful. And when I sighed heavily for what must’ve been the thirtieth time and checked my phone, Anna leaned forward to grab the remote.

“That’s it,” she said. “I can’t let you be this miserable on Christmas. Let’s go.”

She gestured for Wayne to move, and he stood without question while she transferred off the couch and into her wheelchair.

“Where are we going?” I asked, and since she’d moved while I’d been leaning back against her, I let myself fall pitifully onto the seat.

“To get you some fresh air,” she answered, and called, “Mom, Dad! We’re going to look at the neighbors’ Christmas lights, want to come?”

They both came in from the kitchen, but Mom shook her head and said, “I just put the pie into the oven,” and Dad quickly added that he’d stay with her. “But I can pour some hot cider to take with you?”

“Yes, please,” Wayne agreed, and followed them back to the kitchen to get our drinks.

Anna just sat there, staring at me lying motionless for almost a minute before finally saying, “Come on. Let’s go. Up. And no phone.”

“What?” I whined, sluggishly sitting up. “What if Morgan calls and I miss it?”

She sighed, and I could see in her eyes that she wanted to say how it’d been days without a response, but she didn’t. Instead, she said, “Alright, fine. But it doesn’t leave your pocket unless you’re getting a call.”

To show my compliance, I stood and dropped my phone into a pocket of my onesie. After she nodded her approval, I followed her to the front door, where we put on our warm boots and jackets, and then held the travel mugs of cider Wayne brought so he could do the same.

I knew Anna wanted to get me outside because she hoped it would cheer me up a bit, but as we started our walk down the street, all I could do was wonder what Morgan was doing. Was it as cold in Oregon as it was here? Was there snow lining the sidewalks and covering people’s yards? Did it add to the ambiance of the lights they had on their houses? Why hadn’t she called me back yet?

“It’s only been a few days,” Anna said encouragingly, pulling me from my thoughts. “Maybe she needs more time to process.”

My head drooped. “I just thought she’d at least acknowledge me with a text or something.”

“Well,” Wayne added, “it took a while to know what you wanted to say, right?”

“Yeah,” I said, blowing a hard breath through my lips.

All three of us were quiet for a bit, only half paying attention to the lights on the houses we passed. Then Anna said, “You remember when me and Wayne almost broke up?”

“Oh yeah,” I said in recollection. “You got scared of the physical stuff.”

“Because he was my first relationship after the accident,” she finished, nodding. “Well, I apologized in person, but he still took time away to think about it before answering me.”

I glanced past her at Wayne. “How come?”

He hummed, taking a few moments to think back on it. “Her pushing me away that hard was the first time I realized how scared she actually was. But, when she came back and said that she’d messed up, that didn’t mean she’d gotten over the fear completely, you know?” I nodded my sincere understanding of that. “So, even though at that point I knew she was going to keep communicating with me, the issue became if I could give her what she needed. All I wanted was to make her feel comfortable, safe, and happy, but if I couldn’t do that based on the needs she’d finally communicated to me, then I didn’t want to do more harm than good.”

“And you realized you could do it,” I said.

“I realized I loved her enough that I would do it,” he answered, “no matter what.”

“And he was perfect,” Anna said with a grin, leaning over to wrap her arms around his hips. He chuckled and hugged her back.

“So,” I prompted, “you think maybe Morgan is doing something like that?”

Both of them shrugged, and Anna said, “I think that you took the time you needed to be sure when you called her, and she deserves patience while she does the same.”

“Alright,” I sighed, “point taken. I can be patient.”

At least, I did my best to be patient, and it actually did help a lot that Anna had gotten me out of the house. With my best effort toward a more positive attitude, I was able to walk with them and focus more on the lights than the creeping worry that Morgan simply wouldn’t call at all. I was able to genuinely laugh for the first time all day, and able to be wooed by the annual laser light show from a house a couple of streets over.

We didn’t go much farther than that, seeing as Mom had been cooking pie and we wanted to get some while it was still warm. But Anna and Wayne’s talk had given me enough confidence that I’d almost forgotten about my phone completely. We were back in the dining room and at the table with Mom and Dad before I realized that I hadn’t even checked it since we’d left for the walk.

As Mom scooped a slice of apple pie onto my plate, I took my phone out and gasped. Everyone stopped and looked at me in concern, and I flipped my phone to show them the screen. “Morgan called and I missed it!” The pocket of my onesie must’ve been too baggy for me to feel my phone vibrate, but there was a missed call and one new voicemail. My heart was racing as I shot out of my seat and toward the kitchen, calling behind me, “Be right back!”

I went into my voicemail, hit Morgan’s message, and put the phone to my ear as I reached the kitchen.

“Hey,” her voice said, “I got your message,” and it was so hard to tell just by her neutral tone how she felt. But at least she didn’t sound upset. “The surgery went good. I’m not supposed to bear weight yet, but I can get around with crutches, so, that’s nice…” There was a brief pause. “It’s probably good you didn’t answer, actually. I can’t really talk right now. I just didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you.” She took a deep breath. “So yeah, um, don’t worry about calling me back. We’ll talk soon though, okay? I promise.” There was another pause as her message sounded like it was coming to an end, but then she said with an audible smile in her voice, “Oh, and uh, Merry Christmas, Caplan.”

Every part of me was frozen with excitement except for my hand, which slid the time bar back to replay the part where she said, “Oh, and uh, Merry Christmas, Caplan,” at least three more times.

Then I screamed, sprinting into the dining room to see that I’d scared my parents and Wayne onto their feet. My dad took one look at the joy on my face and sighed, “Christ, Audrey.”

“She called me ‘Caplan’,” I told them with a grin.

“And that’s… good?” my mom asked.

I nodded rapidly, rushing over to sit down again beside Anna, and she gave me an excited hug. There was no way after that that I could sit still, and having a sugar-filled slice of apple pie and some coffee didn’t help one bit. But I was happy. Morgan hadn’t said much, but she’d said enough that I felt like things would be okay, and I started letting myself get my hopes up. I daydreamed the rest of Christmas night, and all of the next day, about what she’d say when she called me again.

Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten my hopes up so much if I’d known how long it was going to be before we talked ‘soon.’ Because the day after Christmas passed, and then the next day, and so on, until New Year’s Eve and I still hadn’t heard anything. Part of those daydreams was being able to video chat with her at midnight, but I hadn’t received so much as a text.

“Should I just call her?” I asked around the table, as all five of us sat there playing Blackjack with our party hats and champagne, while music played in the background.

“No,” Anna said.

I looked around for other opinions, and while my mom and dad refused to answer, Wayne gave a pursed-lip shake of his head. I sighed and motioned for Mom – who was playing the dealer – to hit me. The new card put me over twenty-one, and I groaned as I leaned back in my seat.

“Dude,” Anna said, sliding the champagne bottle across the table to me. “Have more, you’re stressing me out.” Her phone chimed, and she glanced at it quickly before returning to the conversation. “Speaking of champagne, I think we need more.”

“You’re not even drinking,” I said, pouring some into my glass out of the nearly full bottle. “And Dad hasn’t either.”

“I will when I get back,” Dad said, folding his hand and standing up. “I’ll go get some more from the store.”

As he left the table, I called after him, “I’m stealing your poker chips.”

“I was losing anyway,” he called back.

He disappeared out the front door as I combined his chips with mine. For everyone’s sake, I tried my best to relax, and even took a few hefty gulps of champagne to help the process. We also switched to a livelier game of Spoons, which kept me distracted for a while.

Before long, Dad had come back through the front door and asked loudly, “Can somebody help me?”

We were all so intently watching each other to see who’d steal a spoon that nobody responded. Dad hurried into the kitchen, asking toward the dining room, “Hello?”

I glanced around, and when still nobody responded, I set my cards down and stood. “I got it.” I met Dad in the kitchen and followed him back toward the front door, asking as we walked, “How many bottles of champagne did-”

But I stopped in my tracks when we rounded the corner. There were no champagne bottles, and he definitely didn’t even go to the store. Instead, Morgan was standing there. Morgan. Right there. Inside the house. Leaning with her crutches against the wall by the front door. I stared at her, wide-eyed for only a few short seconds before a wave of relief crashed through me and I ran forward, throwing my arms around her neck.

She huffed a breath of laughter as her arms circled my waist, and she said, “It’s good to see you too.”

My eyes found a duffel bag on the floor, and I pulled away from her to look at my dad. “You picked her up,” I said.

“From the airport,” he confirmed.

I looked back at Morgan. “How…” 

“ZuZu gave me Anna’s number,” she said.

I turned a squinted glare on Anna, who’d come to peek around the corner, and she shook her head. “Don’t kill me,” she said, “I’ve only known she was coming for a couple of days.”

My eyes found Morgan’s as I began to process what all of this meant. “How long are you staying? What about my message? What are we- What do we-”

I had so much to say that I didn’t know where to start, and even though Morgan inhaled to say something, she stopped and glanced past me. I followed the look to find that the rest of my family was nosily peeking around the corner at us.

My dad chuckled and nodded toward the hall. “Why don’t you girls go talk in the office? I’ll take Morgan’s bag upstairs.”

“Thanks,” I told him, and Morgan followed me down the hall, into Anna and Wayne’s office room where we could close the door.

She set her crutches on the floor beside the pullout bed and sat on the edge of it, then patted the spot next to her. I dropped down at her side while my mind was already racing a mile a minute. The last thing I wanted to do was miss the chance to make sure that we fixed everything, and I’d barely sat down before I started rambling.

“You got my message, right?” I asked, even though I already knew that she had. “I’m so sorry, Morgan. I was stupid and I never wanted any of this to happen. I’ll do whatever I have to-”

“Audrey,” she interrupted with an amused smile.

“Just,” I finished urgently, “just tell me what I have to do.”

“Did you mean what you said?” she asked. “About moving to Oregon, and visiting, and all of that.”

“Yes.” I took her hands in earnest. “All of it. When do you want me to come? Spring break? You can show me around, so I know what areas to look at if I move there and-”

“Audrey,” she laughed.

“Sorry,” I murmured as my cheeks tinted. “Anything you want, it’s yours.”

She shrugged, glancing down at our hands while she ran her fingers across my palm. “I just want you to tell me you love me again.”

By the time she looked up at me again, I was grinning, and I let go of her hands to cup her face and pull her into a long, gentle kiss as happy, relieved tears filled my eyes. Then I set my forehead against hers and said through a sniffle, “I love you, Morgan Bailey.”

She gave me a soft peck and leaned back, reaching up to stroke her thumb across my cheek as she examined my face. “These are good tears, right?”

I nodded and pulled away from her hand to wipe at the moisture, blinking away as much of it as I could. “I was so scared I’d lost you forever.”

“Well, I have some good news for you.” She paused just long enough for me to meet her gaze, and then said, “I love you too.”

I laughed tearfully and dropped forward again, setting my forehead against hers for a few moments before she kissed me one more time. She also kissed the back of my hand and then held it between us, but before she could say whatever was on her mind, I said, “I’m sorry, Morgan. I need to know that you know it.”

“I do,” she said, giving a sympathetic smile as her hand squeezed mine. “But I don’t want you to feel guilty about this forever. All I want, Audrey, is for you to talk to me. Always.” I nodded, but it wasn’t good enough yet, because she said almost sternly, “You cannot let something this big build up. It can be on your time, but it has to be before it’s too late, alright? You can’t push it down. Never again, okay?”

I swallowed hard and nodded once more, having to rapidly blink away a fresh bout of tears. “Never again,” I said. “I swear.”

“Okay,” she said softly, and held out her arms. “Come here.”

I hugged her, and she hugged me, and it lasted so long that I thought I might start crying again. It just felt so good to be in her arms. To have her here, and to know that I hadn’t lost her.

“I love you,” she whispered as she held me. “And I forgive you, okay? We’re going to be okay.”

I nodded and sniffled away the threat of more tears. “I love you too.”

She smiled as she let me go and pulled away, and after I’d regained control of my fragile emotions, she held out her hand and said, “Go ahead. I know you’re dying to ask me.”

I put my own hand into hers, asking with a soggy laugh, “How long are you staying?”

Her smile widened to her beaming, lopsided grin. “For good.”

“No,” I said in disbelief, but I grinned too. “Oh my god, really?” She nodded, and I shrieked and pulled her into another brief hug. “Wait, but how? Did your dad change his mind?”

“Yes and no,” she answered. “I had to do something really drastic first…”

My brow furrowed. “…What did you do?”

“You can’t freak out,” she said. “Or feel bad, or anything like that.” I nodded, and she gave me an innocent grimace as she said, “I sold the Harley.”

“The sculpture?” I asked, rising to my feet in shock. “What? No. Morgan, no. You wanted that to be your window display. You worked so hard on it. Can you get it back?”

“Audrey,” she said, grabbing my hand to pull me back down. “You said you wouldn’t freak out.”

I sighed and tried to relax. “You shouldn’t have done that for me,” I told her. “I meant it when I said we could be long distance.”

“I know,” she said. “But I didn’t do it just for you. I did it for you, and for my mom, and for me. I did it because I like it here. Because I want to be here.”

I nodded, and tried to stifle further protests because I had to trust that this is what she wanted. “So, it was enough to pay for school?”

“Almost.”

“Holy shit,” I murmured.

She laughed, “Yeah, as pissed as my dad was, he was also pretty impressed.”

“He was mad that you sold it?” I asked.

She shook her head. “He was mad because, deep down, he thought that all of this – wanting to stay here, not wanting to finish school in Oregon, selling the Harley – he thought it was all just to get away from him. He was mad because he was scared.”

I gave a pursed and sympathetic smile. “Sounds like you guys talked it out though.”

“Not at first,” she said, and huffed with amusement, “it was Jane, actually.” And my eyebrows rose with interest. “I could tell she’d been trying to stay out of everything, but when she saw that I was willing to sell something that meant so much to me just to get back here, she stepped in. She talked to me, and then she talked to him. I honestly don’t know if me and Dad’s relationship would’ve ever been the same without her.”

I brought her hand to my lips, smiling through the kiss I pressed to the back. “I’m really glad it worked out.”

“Me too,” she agreed, watching me with an endeared gaze for a few moments before she remembered she’d been explaining. “Anyway, after Dad and I talked for a long time, he finally realized he was pushing me away instead of keeping me close. Sound familiar?” She smiled amusedly at my toothy grimace. “So, he agreed to pay for school here.”

“And the Harley?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she sighed, “it was kind of too late to unsell it. But it’s okay! It gave me a good chunk of money to put toward opening a studio, and I seem to recall you saying I could use a nude sculpture of you as a window piece?”

“No!” I shrieked, laughing. “I did not!”

“Oh, you didn’t?” she teased. “Hm. Must’ve been someone else.”

“Shut up,” I giggled, and she laughed and pecked me on the cheek. We both smiled at each other for a little bit longer before mine faded. “I just want you to know,” I said seriously, “selling the Harley never crossed my mind. I never would’ve asked you to do that.”

She nodded. “It really didn’t cross my mind either. Not until I was already in Oregon, but then… you know…” She shrugged, giving me an apologetic smile. “It didn’t seem like something I should do if you weren’t all in.”

“I get it,” I said. “I wouldn’t have done it for me either.” She nodded, playing with my fingers for a minute while we sat there in comfortable silence. Then I asked, “Have you talked to your mom?” And she passed me a curious look about how I’d know. “I stopped by the diner one day, she was there. She said she felt bad that she hadn’t gotten back on her feet to help keep you here.”

“Oh.” Morgan’s head fell. “That was my fault. Between you, and her, and my dad, I was at my wits end before I left, and I said some things that… well… I kind of meant, but that could’ve been said a lot nicer than I actually did.”

I nodded my understanding. “Is she still doing good?”

“Yeah,” Morgan said, with a genuinely proud smile. “Still sober. She’s giving herself a little more time to recover before looking for a job, but she will soon.”

“That’s great,” I said happily, and then asked, “last question?” She consented, and I gestured to her leg. “How’s it healing?”

“Really well,” she answered. “I couldn’t bear weight when I called you, but I’m actually allowed to now. I just have to take it really easy.”

“Will you be able to do off-season practice next semester?”

“Maybe toward the end, but just running and some drills. No playing.” I pouted at that, and she added with exaggerated enthusiasm and a flex of her bicep, “I’ll hold your water, baby.”

“My girl,” I laughed, and we spent another minute staring happily at each other. It was almost like the last few weeks had never even happened, because everything was just as it should be. We were okay, she was here, and everything was right. “You know, the most I was hoping for today was to get to video chat with you at midnight.”

“And leave my girlfriend without a New Year’s kiss?” she asked sarcastically.

I couldn’t help but grin, and it wasn’t just because she was here. She’d said ‘girlfriend,’ and even though we’d already used the ‘love’ word multiple times, it still felt really good to know that there was no mystery around our status. That even though I’d almost messed up beyond repair, it didn’t matter anymore. I was still her girlfriend, she loved me, and I knew that she’d do anything for me. Just like I finally knew, beyond a doubt, that I’d have done anything for her, fear be damned.

“So,” I said, “should we go and ring in the new year with that kiss?”

“Let’s do it,” she agreed with a smile.

I stood and offered my hand. And as she took it, and I walked with her back to the dining room, I knew that I wasn’t going to let fear get in the way ever again. Because that fear would never again be greater than my knowledge that Morgan Bailey was everything. It would never be greater than my knowledge that cocky, silly, golden-hearted Morgan Bailey was it: endgame.