Prose Pointer: Describing Characters (Patreon)

How and when to describe your characters is something that I still struggle with. Not even the how, but even with sometimes doing it for side characters in the first place (I almost forgot to write what Peter and Carter look like in Leading Aegis!). And I will say that sometimes it’s okay to leave out detailed descriptions for side characters. Maybe you as the writer couldn’t decide, or you simply wanted to let your readers imagine it for themselves, that’s perfectly fine. But you’ll want to give the reader a good idea of what your main characters look like, so how do we do it?

First things first, and this might be obvious, but you want to avoid info-dumping. Don’t just give a full description of your character to the reader all in the same paragraph. You know… like… “my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears”… and you get the point. This breaks the number one ‘show don’t tell’ rule of writing, not to mention it will also break immersion.

Instead, you want to work pieces of description into the narrative. If you remember my Prose Pointer on show vs tell, I described a thief getting dressed in the morning: “…the thief laces his battered boots up over his bare feet, and winces as his curled toes squeeze against the front… he feels a cold draft through the hole in the armpit of his jacket as he reaches up to put his hat on.” In that description, I mentioned how the tattered condition of his clothes gave more insight into his financial situation, but it would also serve to give an idea of what he’s wearing.

Now, if we wanted to work more detail into this without info-dumping, we could say he reached up to shove his hat down over his fluffy brown hair. Maybe a paragraph later, on his way to work, he rounds a corner and meets a blast of icy wind so cold that makes his blue eyes water, and in another couple paragraphs he accidentally bumps into someone walking by, and he rubs at the stubble along his jaw as he apologizes.

One thing to keep in mind with the first two of those examples is point of view. If your story is in first person, then he probably isn’t thinking to himself about how his hair is fluffy and brown when he puts his hat on, or about how his eyes are blue when they water. So you might need to find another way if you’re working with first person.

Having your character look at themself in a mirror is a tried-and-true vehicle for first-person description, but it’s not the only way. If your character has beautiful brown eyes, someone can compliment them about it, or you can show how people are always overly nice and accommodating because of how attractive they are. Or maybe they have a family member that looks a lot like them, and in noticing that family member’s features, your character thinks about their similarities. Or maybe they were late and had to run to work, and as they catch a glimpse of themselves in the reflective windows of the building they notice how red their freckled cheeks are.

The important thing with descriptions like this, regardless of POV, is not to feel like you have to get it all out right when we meet your character. Of course, you don’t want to wait until the end of the story to mention the color of your characters eyes or hair or skin, but it’s okay to sprinkle those details into the first couple chapters rather than cramming it in as soon as you can. You also don’t need to describe every little thing about your character. Height, clothing, and eye, hair, and skin color are pretty standard things you’ll probably want to include, but outside of that maybe pick three to five features unique to them (like freckles, a sharp jaw or cheek bones, scars, bushy eyebrows, the way they smell, etc.)

On the other hand, a situation where it would typically be okay to give a lot of descriptors in a short amount of time would be when both the reader and your character are meeting someone new for the first time. A first meeting would absolutely be when your character might notice how bright and green this person’s eyes are, how expertly their long black hair is braided, how stylishly they’re dressed, etc. all within the span of a few paragraphs.

One last thing I want to mention is to consider what language you’re using to describe your characters, specifically with regards to comparing POC’s skin color to foods. Writing With Color has a great post here about why not to do this, and a link to another post with some great alternatives. The long and short of it is you really should come up with other ways to describe characters of color so you don’t alienate and offend any of your readers. But don’t worry, because with a little research and creativity you’ll find there are lots of alternatives!

That’s all I got for now about describing your characters. As always, let me know if there’s anything you’d like more details about, and happy writing!