Chaotic Slideshow - Chapter 08 (Patreon)

We were very quickly driven to some unknown place, probably somewhere under the Pentagon, and bundled into a windowless gray room while constantly surrounded by a team of stoic, weapon-wielding FBI agents.

I simply walked along, my hands behind my back in handcuffs, with Maggie next to me silently glaring at the nameless mooks, occasionally muttering something derogatory, while Glen walked in front of us, a bit panicky and a bit hyper as his head constantly moved, taking in the sight of the gray corridor and featureless walls while keeping up a nervous chatter.

The room itself was industrial gray, with the only decoration being a clock high up on the wall that wasn’t working, and a table in the middle. We were shoved into our seats, our handcuffs removed, and a plate piled high with stale-looking doughnuts was placed in the middle.

Glen instantly zeroed in on them, while Maggie sat with both her arms and legs crossed, frowning, her eyes meticulously taking in the situation and the environment. Meanwhile, I was leaning back, trying to find a comfortable spot on this government-issued chair.

Glen housed the first doughnut with anxiety-fueled energy, and as he reached for the second one, he began to talk. “Okay, Maggie, white guy whose name I don’t know, look. Let me break it down to you how it’s gonna happen.” He bit into the doughnut, consuming it in three terrifyingly fast bites. “They gonna come through that door and be good cop, bad cop. Don’t fall for that, all right?”

I just smiled, while Maggie was palming her face, not wanting to see her friend go to town on the confectionery. Glen, heedless of our thoughts, simply continued.

“That’s why I’m eating their food.” Another sprinkled one vanished. “See, they put the plate of donuts out here to test your guilt. If you don’t touch it, you’re guilty.”

“Glen…” Maggie groaned.

I just chuckled, watching in amazement as the plate was cleaned up.

Maggie, however, turned toward me. “Now what, genius?”

I shrugged. “We wait. By my calculation, maybe an hour or two for them to realize you were right. Until then… Party in the house?” I offered. Then I reached into my too-deep pockets and pulled out a pack of cards I didn’t even remember where I’d picked up. “Want to play?”

She shook her head, and I put it away, disappointed.

Soon, the entire plate was clean, and Glen was leaning back in his chair, fully sated and very smug. “They walk through that door, you don’t say nothing!”

Maggie just looked away, a bit embarrassed.

Thankfully, we didn’t have to wait long, probably because they were observing us through one-way mirrors, before the door practically slammed open and two stone-faced men stepped into the gray room, closing the door behind them.

One of them was bald, wearing an FBI jacket, and looked like he lived in the gym. The other one was wearing a suit, with a full head of hair, but practically radiated the same FBI agent energy. He had a folder in his hand, dramatically open as if he had just finished reading it.

The moment the file hit the table with a slapping sound that echoed strangely in the interrogation room, Glen practically exploded.

He rose from his chair and began pointing alternately at Maggie and me. “She did it! He did it! They did it! They’re the ones you want! All right? I was just sitting at home, watching a cartoon, playing video games with my cousin! She came in there like some… some criminal!”

Maggie palmed her face and groaned. “Glen… Jesus…”

“Hey! I’m not going to jail for you and your creepy boyfriend! I have done nothing bad my entire life!”

“Glen, shut up!” Maggie hissed as Glen became increasingly hysterical.

“No! You shut up! Don’t talk to me! Don’t talk to me, criminal!” he exclaimed, then, as if deflated, collapsed into himself, just in time for the bald FBI agent to step forward and surprisingly gently pull him back into his seat while also checking his pulse. “Oh… sugar… crash…” Glen mumbled, but before I could even laugh, the other guy slapped the table, causing both Maggie and me to look at him.

His eyes were on me, as if Maggie didn’t really matter.

“Who are you? Where did you come from? Who do you work for?” he asked, his eyes watching me like a hawk. “The first record of your existence is making contact with Margaret Madsen in the Pentagon Mall, where you unsuccessfully tried to hack a government website.”

“It’s Maggie…” Maggie muttered at the mention of her full name.

I just smiled at the nameless agent. “Name is Timothy Walker. I was born in Warrenton, Virginia, and I work for myself.” I put out my hand, offering a handshake. He notably didn’t take it. Retracting my hand, I continued. “And a note of correction. I didn’t make contact with Maggie. She made contact with me.” I side-eyed her with a cheeky grin. “Very naughty of her…”

Maggie eyed me, which suggested that the moment we had a moment to ourselves, she was going to hit me, but then my attention returned to the agent, who seemed to be taking my shenanigans well.

He nodded. “That’s the name you were heard using. But we found nobody with that name anywhere in our databases. You have no record of entry into the country, no digital or other footprint. We don’t even have recordings of you leaving Washington or arriving in Boston. Care to explain?”

It seems Untraceable was working overtime…

I just shrugged. “Skill issue?”

The man blinked. “What?”

“Maybe the problem is that you guys are just not good enough with all this security stuff?” I offered with a dramatic shake of my head.

“Sir. I need you to take this seriously,” the man said, one of his eyes visibly twitching. “You are currently detained for possessing encrypted and classified information of the highest level. If you’re not careful, you’re going to jail for the rest of your life.”

I eyed the man. “Yet, here we are. Not cuffed. Not in those horrible jail cells. Which means you are not sure the charges are going to stick.” I tilted my head to the side. “Or maybe, because you want to know what we know.”

The man nodded, pulled out the last chair at the table, and sat down, still looking straight at me and ignoring the other two. “Well, why don’t you share with the class, hmm? Maybe make it easier on yourself…”

“You know this is pretty sexist,” I pointed out unhelpfully. “Assuming I’m behind the crimes you suppose I committed and ignoring poor Maggie there. It’s 2007. Women can also be criminal masterminds, you know…”

Maggie’s head just fell forward, hitting the cold metal table with a thud, her already very disheveled hair falling everywhere. “Just kill me…” she muttered in desperation.

I chuckled and pulled the uncomfortable chair closer. “So, we have to start at the very beginning…”

The FBI agent nodded. “I’m all ears.”

“Well,” I began, internally already laughing at how telling the full truth was much funnier than any lie I could come up with. “It all started with the universe being born, which, by the way, was universally regarded as a bad move, but not my monkeys, I suppose.”

Oh, look, the other eye is twitching too…

“At that time, two brothers were born, Primus, representing order and light, and Unicron, representing chaos and destruction. You know… standard good-guy, bad-guy dynamic,” I began to explain, dredging up information I had read a long time ago. “Anyway, fast-forward a few billion years, and their… descendants, if you will, are still at war. One side is the Autobots, led by the Primes, and the other side is led by whatever megalomaniac is in power at the time. They’re called Decepticons. Guess what they do…”

“Fascinating,” the FBI agent stated in the driest voice imaginable. “And how does this… story… tie into who you are and what you are doing on American soil?”

“Naturally.”

“Which is?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Why?”

“I’m here to meet with the Prime to see who I’m working with,” I told him. It wasn’t like I would ever side with the Decepticons, on account of them wanting to kill everyone on Earth, but this was the multiverse we were talking about. There was a minuscule chance that I landed in the rare universe where Optimus was also a genocidal asshole, so I didn’t want to declare my allegiance before meeting him.

The FBI agent eyed me, opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, his hand rose to his ear, as if listening to something. His mouth closed, and a sour look appeared on his face. With a great sigh and heave, he stood up, picked up the file, and motioned with his head toward the door for the other agent.

He looked me in the eyes. “We shall continue this later. Until then…” His eyes swept over all of us. Glen was just barely recovering from his glucose crash, Maggie was staring daggers at me, and I was smiling innocently at them. “Enjoy the ambiance.”

As the two left the room, I turned to Maggie. “Aren’t you glad you went to the toilet before they arrested us?” I asked with a grin.

She glared at me. “Primus and Unicron? Really? Couldn’t you have come up with some better names? You sound like every crazy person on the corner ranting about the end of the world.”

I shrugged. “Can’t help it. That’s their names…”

Maggie blinked. “Wait… you didn’t make that up?”

“No. Telling the truth is much funnier.”

She blinked at me, then collapsed into her chair. “What the hell is my life even…”

I laughed out loud as Glen looked between the two of us, confusion written on his face.

It took maybe an hour of waiting before the door was slammed open again, and an older gentleman strode in, his eyes looking around the room before finally landing on Maggie, who was currently leaning back in her chair, balancing it on two legs with her feet on the table. Glen was half-asleep on his arms, and I was mentally processing the last skill I gained, trying to delve deeper into the esoteric, but so far, I’d only gotten a few ideas.

The older man was dressed in a fancy suit, with white hair, and his face radiated the expression of someone who had just witnessed things that shook him to the core.

“What’s going on?” Maggie exclaimed tiredly, sitting up straight, even Glen waking up and blinking the sleepiness out of his eyes.

The elderly man stopped in the doorway; beyond him, his team was visible, watching the proceedings with a weird look on their faces. I could even spot the FBI agent who had started questioning us but never returned.

“You’re coming with me,” he declared, looking at Maggie. She just looked back, bewildered. “You’re going to be my advisor.” It was clear the man really didn’t want to say those words.

Maggie just looked back, not knowing what to say.

“Me too?” Glen asked as the information penetrated his sleepy brain.

The man finally looked away from Maggie and took Glen and me in. “Who are these people?” he asked, pointing at Glen and me.

Maggie looked at us, then back at the government official. “They are my advisors.”

The older man looked back down at Maggie, and I could see him debating internally whether it was worth arguing, but in the end, pragmatism won out.

“They come too.”

I grinned as we were led out of the dreadful gray room, Glen uncharacteristically silent, while Maggie sidled up next to me as we followed the crowd. She leaned closer, whispering, “How the hell did you know?”

“Know what?” I whispered back with a grin.

The slightly shorter blonde glared at me. She waved her hand around. “This…”

“Oh, yeah… this…” I commented, ignoring the fact that people around us were definitely listening in. “If you’ve seen one government act in an emergency situation, you’ve seen them all. You told them what was happening, they didn’t believe you. Something changed, and now they believe you. Always the same…”

Maggie frowned, then nodded. “Well, if you put it that way…”

We went through several nondescript and confusing corridors before reaching a car park, where several black government-issued SUVs were waiting for us. The three of us were quickly bundled into one, with a stone-faced soldier joining us, clad in riot gear and gripping his weapon to himself. The moment the doors closed behind us, the car was off, leaving us in silence.

We arrived at the airport within minutes, and we were escorted through security without anyone around and thrown onto a private airplane filled with Army personnel, Keller’s security, and a bunch of other people.

There was no waiting; we barely sat down before the plane was off to Nellis, based on what I could overhear. Glen immediately found the food cupboard and began assembling a sandwich as he nervously looked around. He jumped every time someone with a weapon walked by.

Maggie and I were sitting there, just looking at each other. She bit her lips, looking out the window and staring at the rapidly disappearing terra firma.

“Did you really plan this?” she finally asked.

I sent her a reassuring smile. “I guarantee, your curiosity would have assured that you would be here, whether I was here or not…”

She narrowed her eyes. “That doesn’t sound like an answer.”

I eyed her for a moment before nodding. “Sure, I planned it slightly. Infiltration would have been dicey, so I was planning to use your curiosity to get myself arrested by the NSA or something else. It was just dumb luck you got called in to analyze the alien signal.”

Maggie stared at me, then leaned back in her chair, tension draining out of her as she practically turned into a puddle. “At least you’re honest…”

I grinned, but before we could continue our exchange, an aide of the Secretary of Defense approached us and told us there was going to be a meeting.

We were taken into a cabin that held the Secretary, a guy who embodied everything that made a government spook a government spook, and several other people staring with wide and terrified eyes.

Keller was sitting in the middle and nodded toward us as soon as we stepped through the partition. “Miss Madsen, welcome. Who is your friend?” he asked, looking toward me. He didn’t look at me aggressively, more like tiredly. He was exhausted.

Half remembering that he was at least semi-competent in the movies, I reached into my pocket, pulled out a golden apple, and threw it at him. He scrambled to catch it while several people leveled their weapons at me.

I just grinned. “You look tired. That’s going to help.”

Keller held the apple in his hand like he was holding a grenade, his eyes darting between me, Maggie, and his security personnel. Banachek, the government spook, just stared with undisguised interest at the fruit.

Maggie let out a nervous giggle. “It works, sir. Like the best shot of espresso mixed with homemade chicken soup for the soul.”

I walked over to one of the couches, pulling Maggie with me, and sat down as Keller still stared at the metallic-looking fruit in his hand before letting out a deep sigh. “If this kills me, young man, I’m coming back to haunt you.” As several people lunged to stop him, he took a deep bite.

People froze as Keller chewed once, then twice, before the exhaustion radiating off his body visibly vanished. His back straightened, his posture improved, and he let out a happy sigh. “Oh…”

We watched as he devoured the apple, then cleaned his hand of the last juices before leaning back in his chair. “Well, I suppose that proves something. What it proves, I don’t know, but it sure does. I haven’t felt this energized since my last holiday.”

He fully turned toward me. “Mr. Walker. You don’t exist, but show up right before unprecedented events lead to the American communication systems being crippled.”

“What?” Maggie exclaimed in fright. “What happened?”

Another aide stepped forward and began to narrate how there was a second signal that swept through the American network, and through that, the rest of the world. To the best of their knowledge, communication was crippled throughout the entire world.

I simply nodded and pretended I didn’t care. I didn’t really remember that happening in the movie, but I suppose it had been a while since I saw it. I leaned back on the couch, arms on the backrest, and looked Keller directly in the eyes.

“So, what do you want to know?”

He exchanged a look with the spook, then nodded. The man reluctantly returned the nod, reached into his briefcase, pulled out a set of pictures, and handed them over. “Do you recognize these?” he asked in a gravelly voice.

On them, I saw very low-resolution pictures of robotic shapes taken from a very low angle. However, while I couldn’t determine if they were Autobots or Decepticons, their nature was pretty clear.

“Cybertronian.”

The room stilled, and everyone looked at me.

Keller also froze, watching me. “Excuse me?”

“They’re called Cybertronians. From the planet Cybertron. Sentient machines.”

The older man blinked. “And what do they want?”

I shrugged and pointed at the pictures. “Can’t really tell from these. Usually, they can be sorted into two groups. Autobots, the good guys, protectors of life throughout the universe, and Decepticons, whose main hobby is the exact opposite.”

Maggie broke the silence that enveloped the room. “So the Super Space Hitler you mentioned is the leader of the Decepticons?”

I saw several people mouth the words Super Space Hitler as I nodded. “The Decepticons’ current leader, as far as I know, is Megatron. Suuuper evil dude. The good guys, the Autobots, are led by a Cybertronian named Optimus Prime. All-around great guy, trust him with my life and all that jazz.”

Everyone stared at me while I just smiled. It felt really good dishing out information to these high-powered people.

Surprisingly, they didn’t ask more questions. Instead, they seemingly collectively decided to talk about the whole alien thing later and refocused on the global communication blackout, which, arguably, was currently a bit more important.

Maggie was in her element, constantly typing away on a laptop they gave her, trying to solve the issue, while I looked over her shoulder, trying to make sense of what she was doing. People around us were doing the same, while Secretary Keller was constantly giving orders.

I stayed silent and watched as everything unfolded while contemplating what powers to use. Tinker – Robotics would probably be useless against the technological might of the Decepticons. Invisible Air, as always, was locked in.

I’m not getting rid of it for anything.

As that thought went through my mind, I could feel the air around me constrict a little. It wasn’t painful, more like a hug. Smiling slightly, I turned my attention toward the last two of my useful active abilities.

It was either Light Grenade, but I didn’t know how useful it would be against Cybertronian armor. Plus, it used my energy reserves, so I could run out, leaving me defenseless. The Capture Tokens, however, would be useful at the end of the battle. If I could get close to Megatron, then taking him into a token would probably prevent a lot of nasty things from happening in the future.

However, there was the problem: “The target must not be able to resist.” Which I interpreted as complete defeat. Megatron was currently on ice, but the moment the ice was even lightly thawed, he was fully powered, so I didn’t know how the token would interpret that state.

Worth a try, I suppose…

I quickly swapped the Tinker power for Capture Token and settled back into my seat.

It took us around five hours to reach Nellis Air Force Base, during which the team Keller brought with him tried to overcome the virus the Decepticons had uploaded into the global network, but the only thing they managed to achieve was to set up a direct line to several military bases that had redundant and hardened communication lines.

Which was good, because this way Keller could make sure that the Army and Navy weren’t off in some other country anxiously waiting for commands, but were coming back to American territory and harbors, decreasing the chance of any conflict breaking out.

So that was good.

What was not good was that the general public had also picked up on this. From what Keller’s sources could tell him, there were no riots or anything like that, but a general unease was spreading through the whole country. Phone lines in most places, especially where digital technology hadn’t penetrated too deeply, were quickly repaired, but everyone was clear that the entire country only needed a spark to fully break down.

Imagining what would happen if the same virus was released in the digitally connected two-thousand-twenties of his old world made him shudder. There would have been riots within seconds of the internet going on the fritz.

Still, Keller was very clear. If they couldn’t solve the issue today, then by midnight there would be an emergency declared throughout the country. When he said that, he was directly looking at me. I just bowed my head a little, then was distracted by Maggie, who was asking for my opinion about a piece of code she had written.

Glen was loudly gesturing to several NSA scientists at another station, who were seriously listening to the man, nodding and making their own notes as the genius did his best to defeat the virus. Sadly, I would rate Glen’s and Maggie’s knowledge and ability with programming above my own Intermediate Programming. Maggie was firmly above my own, while I had a feeling that Glen was hitting the top of that level. Sadly, it still wasn’t enough to defeat a virus crafted by a sentient machine race…

At Nellis, we disembarked from the plane and were bundled into several military helicopters.

This was where we met the protagonists of the movie. Sam Witwicky was a weedy teenager, in that awkward phase when his body hadn’t fully filled out after a rather large growth spurt.

Mikaela thankfully didn’t look like her actress either. She was in her twenties when the movies were filmed, if I remember correctly, but the girl in front of me, strapped into the seats of the helicopter, looked young. For a brief moment, a wave of grief washed over me as I was reminded of the family I left behind, siblings who I’d probably never see again, before I shook myself.

If I was unkind, I would call her a pick-me, but to me, she just looked like she wanted to look as adult as possible. However, despite her outward appearance, it was clear the girl was actually smitten with Sam, who was so jittery it was kinda funny. She was constantly fussing over him, while every time someone looked at them, she would freeze and act nonchalant.

It was highly entertaining.

We sat in the seats of the helicopter, the entire thing vibrating around us as we lifted off from Nellis. On one side were Maggie, Glen, and me, while on the other side were Sam and Mikaela, and one very nervous soldier watching me.

“So, what did they get you for?” Maggie asked with a smirk as she took in the two teenagers who definitely didn’t fit in with all the uniformed men and women.

Sam’s answer was perfect teenage deadpan. “I bought a car. Turned out to be an alien robot.” Mikaela was nodding next to him, perfectly stone-faced. “Who knew?”

Hearing that, Maggie turned to me with a questioning look on her face. I mouthed ‘Autobot’ at her, and she visibly relaxed.

We touched down half an hour later near the Hoover Dam, where a fleet of cars was waiting for us to take us closer. Emerging from those cars, we got our first look from the top of the dam. Wind was blowing into our faces, or, well, into everyone else’s faces. My Invisible Air was creating a nice bubble of peace around Maggie and me as we watched Sam rush forward to the edge of the dam and look down, followed by the others.

Maggie grabbed her own arms, rubbing them. “This is real, right? Full-on alien invasion?” she asked quietly.

Still looking out at the gorgeous vista, I answered her. “Pretty much a ride-or-die situation for humanity. But believe it or not, the best people are on the job,” I told her with a thumbs-up and a cheesy grin. For a moment, I contemplated hiding her away in one of the Capture Tokens, but I had a feeling she wouldn’t have appreciated it. She just chuckled halfheartedly.

Watching as Keller and his crowd finally began to walk toward the entrance of the secretive government facility, I nodded toward them. “Come on, Maggie. Let’s see what they’re hiding.”

“But you already know what’s there…” she retorted, a bit confused, as the two of us began walking after the crowd.

In the front, I saw Keller interact with a line of rough-looking soldiers as I answered Maggie. “The Multiverse is infinities nesting in infinities. There is always a chance I’m wrong. I’m, sadly, not omniscient.”

“You sure do act like that…” she quipped, bumping her shoulder against mine as we walked toward our destination.

It was fascinating to see that some distance away, a stereotypical tourist family was busily taking pictures of the scenery and the dam, not even suspecting what was under them.

A bit later, we were walking deeper into the facility, and Simmons, very dramatically, I must say, began to regale us with the lore of this place.

“All right! Here is the situation: You’ve all had direct or indirect contact with the NBEs.”

“NBEs?” one of the soldiers asked, a nasty gash on his neck.

“Non-Biological Extraterrestrials.”

“They’re called Autobots, you know…” Sam piped up.

Simmons glanced back at the kid. “They told you that?” he asked, skeptical.

Sam grinned. “Yeah, you know, we’re tight.”

Even Mikaela rolled her eyes at that.

“They’re actually called Cybertronians,” I began, using Invisible Air to make sure everyone heard me. “Autobots is just the name of the group.”

“Wow!” Simmons exclaimed in a mocking tone. “Look at that, Mr. Professor. Where did you hear that? Huh? On the back of a cereal?”

He spun around, walking backward, and pointed his fingers at both me and Sam. “Listen here, you… you… people. We have been studying these things since the nineteen-thirties. They’re called NBEs, and that’s it.”

The spook walking next to Keller called out. “Simmons, pull back the reins a bit.”

“Yes, sir!” came the half-sarcastic reply as the man gave us the evil eye before turning around and leading the group deeper and deeper into the facility.

It took a hard ten minutes to get through all the security between us and the deep bowels of what was hidden under the Hoover Dam. It reminded me of when I was following Whitmore down into the depths of Area 51.

However, instead of the charismatic president, it was the angry, semi-tired Secretary of Defense, Keller, who made sure that almost all the security procedures were skipped to expedite this fact-finding mission. Simmons complained a bit, but in the end, even he bowed to his nominal superior.

I simply made sure that the weapon I had made was ready to be unleashed and followed along as we were led into a corridor that slowly widened into a tunnel, which in turn led us to a silo.

Now, I already knew what Megatron looked like, but seeing him live was much different. He was enormous, at least thirty or forty feet high, covered in ice, and constantly being sprayed with liquid nitrogen. Though why they didn’t have him in an enclosed area, which would make keeping him cold much easier, baffled me.

People around me were gaping at the enormous robot as we spread out, and Simmons proudly stopped in front of the group like a very odd tour guide.

“Dear God… what… is this?” Keller uttered as he gazed up at the monstrous robot.

I could understand that. Maybe it was because I was aware of who he actually was and knew about his deeds, but the entire thing just radiated malice and pure hatred.

The government spook, Banachek, began to narrate while Simmons grinned at us, clearly delighted at the awe on most people’s faces.

“We think when he made his approach over the North Pole, our gravitational field screwed up its telemetry. It crashed in the ice, probably a few thousand years ago. We shipped it here to this facility in 1934.”

We walked closer, close enough that we stood under the giant robot. Close enough that, if I wished, I could casually flip one of my Capture Tokens toward the monstrous Cybertronian. However, when I surreptitiously summoned one of my tokens and aimed it at Megatron, the power immediately threw up a big negative. Apparently, he was still capable of resisting.

Letting out a sigh and cursing the universe, I dismissed the token and refocused on the discussion happening.

“We call him NBE One,” Simmons added gleefully.

“Well, sir, I don't mean to correct you on everything you think you know, but, I mean, that's Megatron. He's the leader of the Decepticons,” Sam declared in a slightly challenging tone. Clearly, he and Simmons would never get along.

I watched as Secretary Keller and those who had been there for my brief briefing flinched at the mention of the names, and a few of them even sought me out, looking at me with complicated expressions.

Banachek, ignoring the little spat between a teenager and a highly decorated government worker, continued. “He's been in cryostasis since 1935.” He then turned to Sam. “Your great-great-grandfather made one of the greatest discoveries in the history of mankind.”

Simmons took over, walking to and fro before the crowd. “Fact is, you're looking at the source of the modern age: the microchip, lasers, spaceflight, cars, all reverse-engineered by studying him.” He stopped in front of Sam and leaned really close. “NBE One. That's what we call it.”

“Woah…” Glen breathed in surprise. “So basically… every time I microwave a burrito at the Gas N’ Slip, it’s ’cause of Megatron?”

Thankfully, he wasn’t loud enough for everyone to hear him, but I let out a chuckle while Maggie tried to hide hers behind a hand.

As Keller began to lay into Banachek for keeping silent about the alien in the basement, I looked around and found one of the soldiers and motioned for him to come closer.

It took the soldier a second to realize what I meant, but then he slowly walked over, making sure nobody called him out on it. His fellow soldiers noticed, of course, and Maggie was staring at me, no doubt wondering what I was up to.

“What do you want?” he whispered harshly.

“A warning,” I replied, causing him to freeze. “I estimate we have maybe around ten to fifteen minutes before the enemy finds us.”

The soldier, a colonel based on the insignia on his clothing, slowly nodded. “Well, this day has been crazy enough, so I’m not going to ask how you know. But why are you telling me this?”

I rolled my eyes. “Look around. Most people are scientists or worse. You guys are the only battlefield-tested soldiers.”

The colonel looked around, and I saw the moment of realization for him when his eyes widened, and he began to curse under his breath. He hesitated for a moment before nodding at me and hurrying away, rejoining his group.

The soldiers huddled together, and several from the back quickly peeled away and began heading toward the armory, I hoped. I personally pulled out my own gun and affixed it to the magnetic clip on my belt. Maggie sent me a look, but I just smiled, hopefully reassuringly.

Before I could verbally reassure her too, the colonel stepped forward and interrupted the argument between Keller, Simmons, and Banachek.

“So why Earth? What’s the punchline?”

“It's the All Spark,” Sam told the hall.

“All Spark? What’s that?” Keller asked, turning toward Sam.

Sam naturally was happy to answer, showing up Simmons. “They came here looking for some sort of cube-looking thing.” He glared at Simmons. “Anyway, Mr. NBE One, AKA Megatron, that’s what they call him, who’s pretty much the harbinger of death, wants to use the Cube to transform all of our technology and, y’know, pretty much take over the universe…”

As silence settled over the group, only the noises made by the workers, engineers, and a myriad of devices and equipment around the room could be heard. Sam watched as Simmons and Banachek exchanged a knowing look.

He pounced immediately. “You know where it is!”

We were led to a small observation room overlooking an even bigger silo. Inside it, in the middle, was the gigantic cube covered in alien hieroglyphs on its black surface.

“You're about to see our crown jewel,” Banachek stated as he opened the door for us. “Carbon dating puts the Cube here around 10,000 BC. The first Seven didn't find it until 1913. They knew it was alien because of the matching hieroglyphics on the Cube as well as NBE One. President Hoover had the dam built around it,” he explained in an almost bored tone, though I could detect a bit of glee and pride there. “Four football fields thick of concrete. A perfect way to hide its energy from being detected by anyone or any alien species on the outside.”

We were given a minute to bask in the glory of alien technology I knew was actually part of a god, and then, after one person bravely questioned what kind of energy it used, we were led to a different laboratory, where Simmons and Banachek demonstrated to us what happened when the Cube’s energy interacted with technology.

Poor Glen’s phone. Cute, but a bit aggressive. I wondered for a moment whether the created Transformer was so aggressive because Megatron was the last one to possess the Cube and the All Spark had aligned itself to his preferences.

I suppose if we survive and the All Spark survives too, maybe we could ask Optimus Prime to do a little experiment…

I also, very tactfully, didn’t point out to them that, technically, what they were doing was murdering baby Transformers. I felt that it wouldn’t go over well with the group. On the walls were several monitors, either showing the Cube, readings taken of the Cube, or several glyphs that were found on the Cube.

Maggie walked forward, eyes wide, a bit shaken after the demonstration. “Those markings… what are they?”

“Some kind of symbolic language, identical to a transmission we pulled off NBE… I mean Megatron’s data log.”

Sam glanced over and did a double-take. “Yeah… those are the coordinates to the Cube.”

Everyone in the room froze, staring both at Sam and Maggie. She let out a horrified gasp. “Oh, God… I saw these in the signal we cracked… That’s why they hacked Air Force One!”

Mikaela despondently summed up all their realization. “So they know it’s here…”

The moment the words left her mouth, the building around them shook, alarms began blaring, and dust began to fall from the ceiling and the light began to flicker irregularly.

I simply drew my pistol, pointed it downward, and got ready. Invisible Air spread out around me, ready to react, and I watched as the rest of the group descended into panic.

Things got a bit hectic in the next minute.

The building was shaking; people were yelling and rushing around. Banachek ordered everyone back to Megatron’s hangar for some unfathomable reason before I pointed out the high chance of death. He then had to find a loudspeaker and tell everyone to seek shelter away from the chamber.

A bit bothersome…

We were quickly taken to the armory under Colonel Lennox’s leadership, where the soldiers who had left earlier were midway through setting things up, so it took no time for everyone to gear up. I eyed the stuff around, poked a few things, and threw a bulletproof vest at Glen. “Go put that on.”

Glen looked down at it, then back at me. “Gladly!”

It took me a few seconds to find one for Maggie. “Here! Not much, but better than nothing…”

She thanked me quietly and began putting it on. One of the soldiers walking by quietly helped her. I saw a few of them putting them on Sam and Mikaela. Even Keller got his own.

Meanwhile, I reached into my pocket and pulled out Virgo’s key, summoning her. She appeared in a muted flash, instantly taking up position next to me. A few people noticed her, but apparently, she looked disarming enough that they simply returned to their tasks of loading weapons and whatnot.

“Battle starts here,” I told the celestial spirit. “Watch our back, please.”

Virgo bowed her head, her pink hair staying perfectly still. “Of course, sir.”

Knowing that she could take care of herself, I did a last check on my gun and walked toward the commotion developing in the middle, where the good Colonel was threatening Simmons with his pistol as a veritable Mexican standoff developed in the armory.

I simply raised a hand and unleashed Invisible Air, pulling apart the people in the middle. “That’s enough.” Everyone stared at me. “We don’t really have time for departmental pissing matches. Colonel, stand down. Simmons, grow a pair.”

I walked toward the door. “Come on, guys, let’s pick up Bumblebee before Megatron wakes up.”

As I opened the door, I heard someone exclaim behind me. “Did you guys see that?”

Sam joined in. “Who told him Bumblebee’s name?”

Walking fast, even during our rush, organizing things didn’t stop.

“Nellis is fifty miles away; they can have air support here in ten minutes!” Banachek declared.

“Satellites and hard lines are still out,” Maggie reported.

“Short… wave…” Keller added, breathing hard, his older body not keeping up as well as the rest of us.

Simmons led us to a double door, and I just walked forward, the Barrier of Wind King simply exploding forward, opening the door, and striding into the room. There, I could see the yellow body of Bumblebee writhing on an enormous metal slab as countless metal arms and bindings held him down, while countless nozzles from above sprayed him with a cooling liquid as uniformed workers moved around him.

Not wanting to waste time with meaningless chatter, I ignored Sam’s cry of disbelief and the pain in it, raised the hand not holding the gun, and focused. Air waves, invisible to sight but heard by everyone, lashed out at the metal arms, crumbling, tearing, and destroying them while also sweeping away the noxious cloud of cold chemicals from the Autobot, leaving Bumblebee lying on the slab, frozen not because of the cold but because of the surprise.

Everyone else in the room also froze, staring at me.

Bumblebee slowly sat up, and his optics found me. I grinned.

“Up and at ’em, soldier,” I told him. “Unicron’s bastard is almost awake.”

The chevrons covering his optics widened as Bumblebee stood up, causing everyone to take a frightened step back. Sam, however, just rushed forward.

“Bumblebee! Are you alright? Did they hurt you?”

The Autobot looked down and simply reached out and patted Sam on the head, not unlike one would a particularly smart pet.

Laughing a little, Sam swiped playfully at the hand. “The AllSpark is here, but the Decepticons are coming!”

Bumblebee immediately responded, his arms transforming into guns, but before he could aim at the Sector Seven agents, I just cleared my throat. “Let’s not make Optimus wait, Bumblebee.”

With a soft whine, the weapons transformed back into hands, and the almost-mute Transformer nodded as the people in the room let out a collective sigh of relief.

We left the laboratory behind, Bumblebee leading the group while we rushed behind him, the soldiers, even Keller, running without saying a word.

Maggie ran next to me, her hair tied in a practical ponytail.

“So, happy you ditched those high heels?” I asked with a grin.

She scoffed. “You didn’t tell me you could do that…”

I just shrugged and looked at her as we ran through the corridors, Bumblebee’s steps echoing around us every time the heavy metal made contact with the cold stone, and wiggled my eyebrows. “I’m full of secrets…”

We arrived in the chamber that held the Cube, and Bumblebee actually stopped in his tracks when he first saw the All Spark. He gazed up at it, and when he started moving closer to it, his approach radiated awe, and dare I say, religious fervor.

Both of Bumblebee’s arms reached up, and he gently touched the Cube as everyone watched with bated breath. The Cube flashed blue as electricity-like energy raced through it, illuminating certain glyphs, leaving others dark, before it began to break apart into smaller cubes, and those smaller cubes began to fold into themselves, slowly but surely reducing the size of the AllSpark into a cube that fit into Bumblebee’s hands.

As I watched, Intermediate Conceptualization allowed me to glean something from the transformation: the nature of it was not entirely technological, but I didn’t have time to ruminate over it. I already knew that the All Spark was a spark of Primus itself, so it wasn’t a big revelation that it wasn’t fully technological.

Energon was probably closer to magic than electricity.

Bumblebee’s radio sparked to life. “Message from Starfleet, Captain.” The voice changed. “Let’s get to it.”

Lennox nodded. “He is right. We’re sitting ducks here.” As he said this, the building shook even more violently, lights flickering and bursting. “Mission City is twenty-two miles away. We can use it to hide the Cube. Play keep-away until the backup arrives.”

“This place must have some kind of radio link,” Keller exclaimed as he visibly processed Lennox’s plan. “We can use it to contact the Air Force and arrange the strike.”

Simmons’ eyes widened. “The alien archives. We have an old Army radio console!”

“Will it work?” Keller asked, a bit exasperated with Simmons… everything.

“Anything is possible! I just saw a guy do a Jedi Force blast!” Simmons declared.

“Maggie rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, Glen can repair it in his dreams if it is needed.”

“I do?” Glen asked, looking surprised. Then he nodded. “I do!”

I looked at Maggie and the rest of the team. “Maggie, take Glen and go with Simmons and Secretary Keller. Virgo will escort you guys. Make sure the backup arrives in time.”

She looked back at me, a little reluctant, but in the end, nodded. “Be careful…” she told me before rushing after the rest of her team. I watched as Virgo nodded at me before I started to run after the soldiers.

Bumblebee had already transformed into the yellow Camaro, and Sam and Mikaela were already in, the doors closing behind them automatically as the car started driving toward the exit. I jumped onto the nearest buggy, and we were off, the sound of destruction in the distance telling us that Megatron was loose.

We emerged onto a road leading away from the Hoover Dam, driving at maximum speed toward Mission City. The Camaro was in the front with the Cube, and the Army cars followed behind him in a convoy. I gripped the side of the car, letting Invisible Air around me deflect the air trying to wrench me off due to the high speed, and watched the distance.

I grinned when I saw the glint of metal in the distance.

Soon, I could see the iconic blue-and-red semi-truck that was Optimus Prime’s alt mode, barreling toward us at a speed no normal semi-truck could achieve. Next to Optimus were the other Autobots: a silver Pontiac, a black SUV, and a yellow search-and-rescue Hummer.

We sped past them, only to have them immediately hit the brakes and do a hard U-turn, almost immediately joining up with us as we headed toward the city.

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud, my voice instantly carried away by the wind. Here I was, riding toward battle next to Optimus Prime. Aside from the chance of death, this was a childhood dream come true.

Soon, we reached the more populated highway, a smattering of cars on it, no doubt the chaos and uncertainty caused by the global blackout causing a lot of people to stay home instead of chancing going out.

As I was about to try to talk with Prime, a blue screen appeared before me.

[Your familiar killed Frenzy! Ticket degraded due to the fact that it was your familiar who did the deed.]

[1 x Bronze Random Ticket]

Hoping it would provide something useful for the battle to come, I reached into my pocket and pulled it out, then tore it apart immediately with my teeth. A galactic-sized merry-go-round appeared in my mind, turning and spinning at dizzying speed before something new latched onto my soul.

[Tinker – Repair (Uncommon Ability): Allows you to build technological constructs or contraptions related to maintaining and repairing technology. You can also spot the flaws in technology and know how to fix almost all technology.]

Well, that is certainly going to be useful after the battle…

Putting aside the capriciousness of the universe and chaos, I kept my head on a swivel, trying to spot the Decepticons. One on one, they were not that dangerous, but with Megatron leading them, I was a bit afraid.

There!

A police car leading some kind of construction vehicle, driving other cars off the road, totally not fitting for the highway. Bingo! I tapped the soldier next to me on the shoulder and pointed toward the vehicle, which was already in the process of transforming.

Thankfully, Optimus Prime was doing the same.

The soldier instantly leaned down and began yelling something through the window at the person driving the car. I didn’t much care. I used Invisible Air to stabilize myself as the Decepticon approached ever closer, and raised my gun. Hitting a speeding car with my current skills was probably impossible, but I watched for an opportunity.

And I got it.

The Decepticon, as it finished its transformation from construction vehicle to giant robot, launched itself off the highway and hung in the air for a precious moment. Exactly then, I pulled the trigger.

There was a flash of light, a whump, and my shoulder moved backward, thankfully with Invisible Air supporting me.

It hit the Decepticon on the shoulder, but I was very happy when the armor on that same shoulder vanished into sparks, jerking the Decepticon out of its focus. It was enough of a distraction for Optimus Prime to pull out his glowing, heated sword and, while spinning, drive the sword directly into the Decepticon’s head.

By the time Optimus Prime’s spin was finished, he had already transformed back, landing on the slightly damaged highway, and began driving forward. Grinning at the pure awesomeness of the scene, I conjured a Capture Token in my hand.

As we were speeding away from the scene, I wound my arm back, coating the token with Invisible Air, and flung it as fast and as hard as possible toward the dead Decepticon, trusting the wind to carry out my wish.

I watched in slow motion as the small metal token flew through the air, as if fired through the air, until it hit the body of the Decepticon. I felt a mental switch go off, the body vanishing into thin air and the token reappearing in my palm.

Quickly pocketing it, I continued to watch out for more Decepticons.

[You aided Optimus Prime in killing Bonecrusher, then captured its dead body! 1 x Silver Random Ticket.]

Grinning slightly, I tore the new ticket, eagerly waiting for something more useful than the ability to repair things. My grin immediately slid off my face.

[Health Insurance (Uncommon Trait): Your health is insured, no need to worry. Whenever you are wounded, you will be granted the exact amount of money you would need to pay a professional to treat your injuries or illnesses. Beware, trying to commit insurance fraud may have your trait get revoked.]

“Of fucking course…”

A/N: Here we are! Some very pointed rolls! No fugding, the universe just provides. Next chapter is the battle!