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Call for questions: Suicidology (Patreon)

Published:
2024-08-01 15:51:30
Imported:
2026-06

Content

September is Suicide Awareness Month and Suicidology is an actual field. I have wanted to cover this one for years and I'm getting a chance to sit down today with an expert in the field -- and a survivor. If there are questions you'd like me to ask, leave them below, folks.

Hugs,

Alison Ann Dadward

Comments

Kayla

Oof. Lost my sister last month to suicide so I appreciate this. How does grief for loved ones changed for suicide/an unexpected death vs. a death that is expected?

Yuri

Why would we have developed this response to pain? Why do whales do it too? Do any other animals? Why are we so judgy of it in Western cultures, especially since that makes it worse and is the opposite of what makes it better? Just... Why????? (Yuri - like beauty without the b)

Jessie Dragon

What’s the best way to support someone who could be active/seems to be heading in the direction. I’ve found some people don’t want to talk about it so I want to be able to show support

Allison P

I work in the mental health field so no questions from me, but I so appreciate this being discussed ❤️ I already know this will make a positive impact for many people

Ashley Oki

How can someone who is a survivor disclose something like this? Should they? As I live life I worry about the stigmatization of suicide and mental illness. It feels like I’m hiding this huge secret, but at the same time the topic makes people uncomfortable and I’m not sure how they will react. What kind of language should be used around this sort of issue?

sidney

are there any specific things that makes someone prone to suicidal ideology?

Sharon Tender

Do animals commit suicide? I’ve often wondered if whales beached themselves because they know they’re going to die and they don’t want to suffer.

Brenden O'Donnell

I heard once that most people who die from suicide are under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Fact or flim-flam???

Aubrey Nelson

No questions, but lots of love. It’s a heavy topic! ❤️

Annabelle

Have cultural attitudes towards suicide changed over the course of human history?

Sikwani Dana

whyyyyy? so much of our biology is wired to keep us alive, but then sometimes are silly little brain is just like, nope, “time to yeet myself”. It seems counter to evolution. Are there any other species that have been observed dying by suicide?

Margi F

My heart goes out to you. I lost my father to suicide when I was 26 and my mother to cancer when I was 11. Both griefs are so different and so much to process. Truly, virtual hugs to everyone who loves your sister.

Annabelle

Do animals kill themselves on purpose?

Matt Thompson

Can you talk about the difference between suicidal ideation and general thoughts of death?

Iris Hutchings

Can you ask about the differences in effects/grief for loved ones who've lost someone to suicide vs. the effects/grief for finders? (Finders being the loved one who actually found the body.)

Waylo

Thank you for covering this topic! In my mind, if you are seriously having suicidal thoughts, then it has to be tied to a mental health issue, i.e. depression. Is that necessarily true?

Jen O

I remember seeing a report several years ago that included suicide methods and "success" rates, separated by gender. While overall men had a higher rate of "successful" suicide (sorry, not sure of a better term to use), it seemed to be in large part due to method. Men were more likely to use firearms (very successful), and women were more likely to use some method of poisoning, including drug overdose (much less successful). Is that still accurate? Is the higher suicide rate in men mainly due to method rather than attempt? Have we seen a shift in rates/attempts/methods over recent time?

Jessica K

Does the ologist have tips for supporting a loved one who is feeling suicidal? For supporting ourselves while trying to be there for them? <3

Tomcat

Is there an biological reason for why some people feel suicidal? If biological, is there an evolutionary reason? Especially since humans don't seem to be the only animal with suicidal tendencies.

Ashley Oki

How do you feel about involuntary hospitalizations being a huge core of American treatment methods for people who disclose suicidal thoughts/intentions? How can the system be improved to either avoid involuntary hospitalization altogether, or if necessary to make the situation less traumatic for those involved.

Mariah Ramsey

Maybe it’s the neurospicy brain I have, but I’m always looking for new ways to embrace the thoughts I had/occasionally still have. What suggestions do you have to take what our brains may be telling us and turn that into something either positive or neutral? For instance, my brain tells me to self isolate and avoid everyone; I’ve turned that into walking to a local small lake or pond and look for little critters to gently pick up and give an air kiss to before putting them back.

Elizabeth

I am so sorry you’re going through that. If you haven’t yet, find a Survivors of Suicide group in your area. They usually meet twice a month or so and it’s a place where you can share your grief with others who understand. I cannot recommend it enough! 💗 Editing to add: my first husband took his own life a week after our son’s second birthday. I also lost a very close college friend to suicide a few years before that. It’s one of the very worst ways to lose someone and the mix of emotions you go through as a survivor can really only be understood by others who’ve been there.

Waylo

For those who survive suicide, how much do they want to talk about it. I have a brother who had attempted suicide. He is doing well now, but we have never talked about it.

sidney

i have so many questions, as someone who lives with these thoughts but typically isn't at risk from them. is there a way to discuss these topics with loved ones without them feeling like you are a threat to yourself? are there resources for my loved ones that would be similar to al-anon groups?

Jessica K

Tips feels far too casual a word here but can’t think of better — insight maybe?

Sikwani Dana

I recently almost took a grippy sock vacation and after i was talking with a family member that told me my great grandfather (maternal) also struggled his whole life and was in and out of institutions. How much of suicidal ideation and major depression is genetic?

Limberbutt McCubbins

My university had a cluster (I believe this is the real phrase that is used) and lost quite a few students. How does this happen and how can places respectfully handle individual cases with care while also not potentially causing more?

daniel schmaniel

can occasional forms of ideation be healthy coping mechanisms, or is the goal of treatment to stop it altogether?

Sikwani Dana

also, i am doing much better now ❤️ got my meds adjusted

Ashley Oki

How does the lack of regulation around firearms help to contribute to suicide rates? Some people think that a suicidal person will commit suicide by any means necessary. Is this true or just a convenient excuse?

Ashley Rockett

Is there a difference between being suicidal and just having intrusive dark thoughts and what are they linked to

Aimee Ford

FTQA I had a friend in college going through a really rough patch. I put him on a care watch and basically forced him to stay the night at my house b/c I was afraid he wouldn't still be with us by morning. I fed him and kept trying to talk to him about hope and that things would change etc, but it wasn't sinking in. In the end I asked him to think about how he though it would be for us to find him and the guilt about that, I think, was what stopped him. But now I feel bad because I made someone in a bad place feel worse in the moment to manipulate his actions. Was that a totally wrong way to go about it? I did my best, but if I'm ever in that situation again, I want to handle it the right way.

Harper

I recently went through Mental Health First Aid training and learned some of the warning signs for someone planning suicide. The training was focused on adults and I appreciated that it included information about seniors. Since that training I’ve wanted to find out, what are the warning signs in young adults, teens, and adolescents? How do they differ from what we might see in adults?

Science is my middle name

Is there any brain science on the difference between suicidal ideation vs “passive” thoughts of suicide? As a multiple-attempt survivor, I’ve experienced both and I would say there’s a difference but I wonder if that’s observable/being studied.

Annabelle

Could you ask about medically assisted suicide and the moral controversy around it?

Alexandre Catulle

How does someone decides to get on with it,one day, no warning, and how do we find a reason that let us move past the trauma ?

Natalie (she, her, hers)

It seems to me like suicide is sometimes viewed as less tragic than other causes of death by society or viewed as a choice by the victim rather than the result of illness. Why?

Mara Schoner

How does the larger context we are in now, climate change, people losing trust in our institutions, growing income disparity, etc, which together could be called "the Meaning Crisis" (reference to cognitive scientist John Vervaeke) affect the rate of suicide? Thank you for your show, Ali.

Elizabeth

Myth or fact? A surprising number of firearm suicides involve more than one shot. I used to think it was fishy if someone was shot more than once but the death was ruled a suicide. More recently I’ve heard that this is actually quite common. What’s the truth?

Hannah Gorrie

What is the history of cultures/societies practicing physician assisted suicide for individuals with terminal illness? Is this a new concept?

Therese Enders

I always find myself thinking about how culture and availability of methods play a role. I know rates vary wildly across cultures and time. What plays into that? And did rates really plummet in England after they made it harder to use a common household appliance to poison oneself? Or is that Freakonomics flim-flam?

Megan L

I know someone who when not on medication and under stress/pressure gets suicidal and then when they are at their happiest is very afraid of death as they don’t want to miss out on any good times if they accidentally die. Is this a common way of thinking for people who are prone to suicidal ideology?

Hannah Gorrie

What is the background and implications of suicide being illegal in the United States?

Ashley Oki

How can you educate the people around you about suicide and ask them to not joke about it without coming across as uptight/overly reactive? How much of an impact does the language people use matter?

Danielle Zonis

This isn't really a question but maybe in the podcast you can touch on anyone who has lost a loved on to suicide and the impact it has on others/the community of that person. I lost a loved one to suicide around 6 years ago so this topic is very important to me and it has particular been hard this past year. I think the timing of this episode is perfect. To anyone who needs to hear this today you are important and you matter.

Hannah Barnard

Can you speak to assisted suicide and the historical stigmas surrounding it, as well as arguments that are for the legalization of it? Interested to learn more about its role in end of life care.

uzay

how to fight the stigma and the discrimination suicidal people face when they choose to be open about their suicidal ideation or past? what are some things non-suicidal people should be conscious of? and how to not feel like a burden to others when youre suicidal and need help?

Jessie Pearce

Thank you for having this conversation and navigating the subject(and teaching us how to do so too!). Have there been any correlation to economic/financial stress? I remember the unfortunate spike around the 2008 stock market crash

Ashley Oki

A lot of people claim that people who joke about suicide are those who are in fact suicidal; that this is a cry for help. Is this something that is common? Is there any way to differentiate a joke from a cry for help? On a similar note, what are some warning signs for someone who might be feeling suicidal and what are some good ways to address them?

LittleC PsyD

Vermont recently allowed for medically assisted suicide be available to individuals from other states. Do we anticipate death with dignity becoming more broadly accepted and implemented in the United States?

Therese Enders

Also, thank you for doing this. It's a subject that has affected my life in lots of different ways and I *will* be the person in a group who launches into a monologue about how to react to/support someone who is suicidal...but I know you'll do it better.

ZZ

As a social worker I hear a lot about risk factors & protective factors at the individual level, and I'm always curious to talk about societal risk factors & protective factors that get overlooked like access to food, housing, healthcare, education, etc. What are the societies with the lowest suicide rates getting right? And what advice do they have for how to emulate that on a local level?

Valerie Kirby

Can they talk about best care practices for people who have long term, persistent, passive suicidal ideation but don’t act on it?

Mimz

Gosh, this would be overwhelming.

Dagne

Why do our brains seem like our worst enemy? With depression, anxiety, and suicide our brains seem to only want to push us towards solutions that will harm ourselves. Why do we have that tendency? Especially when we are taught that our brains and biology are fighting for our survival.

Donoiw

Yes , I have questions. I'm not sure if it is a lot, or just one. I think my brain checked out for a second and I'll have to wait till it's done before I can get some questions out of it.

Jennifer Froh

I would love to hear you discuss how gender plays a role in methods and number of attempts and seeking help.

Harper

Are thoughts like “I want to be dead/not be here” (not about action) and “I want to die” (action) distinct enough that the first idea might not constitute suicidal thinking?

Mimz

I wanted to ask this too but wasn't sure how. Good job

Ariana Rose

FTQA and loved one of someone who completed suicide. Hoping to learn about strategies that are proven effective when trying to get support for someone who is expressing suicidal thoughts or showing signs. Especially if the person is in an angry place and responds badly to mentions of trying to get them immediate help thru calling 911 etc. In addition, would love to know about good resources for those of us who are living with the grief and loss of a loved one who we weren't able to get the help they needed.

Kat Morris

What can society as a whole do better?

Gabrielle G.

When I spoke with my therapist about my own suicidal ideation, she recommended I read "Suicide: The Forever Decision" by Dr. Paul G. Quinnett. I would love to hear this your thoughts on the piece. Especially in an era where seeking mental health care is a privilege (and an expensive one, at that), I am heartened by the fact that the book is publicly available for free for anyone in the world.

Jennifer Froh

Would love to know more about why people feel the need to be Angry at the person who clearly needs their love an support. Or why people think its "selfish". There seems to be so much negativity instead of Care and Love that is needed.

Courtney Jones

If a person struggled with suicidal thoughts as a teenager, what can they do to help their children as they grow up to not struggle the same way?

jangonator

How is Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) viewed from a Suicidology lens? There’s been controversy in Canada on how it’s offered, how it may contribute to ableism, etc but I’m curious to hear about pros and cons from the Ologist’s perspective. Thanks Alie, for tackling such a difficult and important topic!

Courtney Jones

Also I’m super grateful for this topic, it is hard to talk about but so important. It’s okay to not be okay

John Worster

Does suicide happen to people of all age ranges? What would be the oldest, and youngest that the expert knows?

uzay

a lot of people seem to blame the suicidal person for committing or attempting suicide and upsetting their loved ones by “choosing the easy way” and being selfish, and it really pisses me off that they dont sympathize with the suicidal person

SuchaHotMetz

Is there anything in the brain and all those chemicals that factors into suicide? Whether it be at birth or an actual change over time?

SuchaHotMetz

Statistically speaking, who is more at risk?

uzay

can you be suicidal without having a diagnosable mental illness/disorder?

Studio Dodge

Are there statistics on suicides by those suffering from mania or psychosis? I lost my husband to suicide in December, and we suspect he wasn’t experiencing reality accurately. What percentage of suicides are actually accidental? Oops. Thats two questions.

Ashley Oki

Apologies for so many questions, this issue is just very close to my heart. Is there any additional reading on this topic that you recommend? Thoughts on the semicolon project/analogy? What about 13 reasons why and similar media that depicts suicide in graphic detail? What are the statistics on the number of premeditated vs impulsive suicides? What are some of the best suicide prevention tips? Any advice for people considering going into the field? How can you prevent burnout/getting overwhelmed by the depth of everything? How does having a suicide attempt in your past affect things like getting proper medical care? In my experience, there are pre-screen questions that involve suicide attempts that always put the patient into a box of high risk, not qualifying for certain health care options, regardless of how long ago the attempt was or the patient’s current mental state. On a similar note, could you please talk about the “after” for suicide attempt survivors? In the “what happens now” phase, living with a disability/the consequences of what happened, etc. Could you please address the people who claim that suicide is only ever for attention vs having it seen as a cry for help?

Lizzy Carr

I had a friend who attempted suicide a few years ago (luckily it was unsuccessful and she’s doing much better today!), and in the aftermath I wasn’t sure if it was better to talk to her about what had happened or to avoid talking about it. Not discussing it felt like I was just ignoring what she was going through, but I was worried that by bringing it up I might upset her or make things worse. From an expert POV, what’s the best way to handle conversations about someone’s attempt when it’s still recent?

Harper

This makes me wonder how the prevalence of depression correlates to suicide rates by culture. If there’s less suicide, is that because fewer people experience depression, or maybe because of a socio-cultural norm. If there’s a higher rate of suicide, is there necessarily more wide spread depression or is it lack of support options?

Nicky G

As someone with chronic anxiety and depression, with intermittent passive SI (no plan, my just vibes) I have a couple of questions: What's the data on efficacy of hotlines and other crisis resources? 988 especially? A behavioral health urgent care truly saved my life without the fear of being held in an ER for unending hours with guilt of "taking up a room." Can BH urgent cares be implemented more widely? What are basic "first aid" responses and steps for the average person to take if a loved one is expressing SI or they are concerned and want to bring it up? A million thank yous is not enough. ♥️ ; 🖤

Fibernymph Dye Works

I apologize in advance, this is going to be a bit long getting to the question part. It will be 2 years later this week that I lost my oldest son to suicide. He was a Marine veteran, and like so many vets, he ended up losing the war within him years after he returned home from deployments. I know how much mental pain he was in. I witnessed some of his worst times after he was home. He tried therapy. He was on medications prescribed to help him. He also self-medicated in unhealthy ways. He had the support of so many people in his family and friends, but he still lost the battle. I miss my son more than I can express, but what I have struggled with since losing him, though, is this...when we know someone who is suffering from a terminal physical illness and treatment is no longer viable, we turn to hoping to make them comfortable until the time comes that they pass and are out of pain and no longer suffering. Why is this not something that translates to mental health? Is it because we can say with physical ailments that science absolutely knows no way to heal this illness past a certain point, but with the mind there are no such objective parameters? I have struggled with feeling relief that my son is no longer fighting his demons, and then I have felt guilty for feeling that relief. Why can a body be broken beyond repair but the idea that the mind can always be fixed is so much more common?

A Laura Borealis

Is wanting assisted suicide in times of real medical trouble significantly different psychologically than someone without any determinable reason wanting to commit suicide?

Miranda Ramirez

First time question asker and suicide survivor: What are your thoughts on ; (semicolon) tattoos and how can we bring more awareness and support and less shame so it can be easier for those with suicidal thoughts can more easily get help professionally and support from loved ones? I know for me at the time, I felt like my family would judge me and didn't know where I could get help.

Ariana Rose

I've been using the term "completed" suicide to refer to my lost loved one. It feels so much more compassionate than the typical "committed" which feels like it criminalizes them.

Lee Wang

How do mental health experts think of suicide in the context of cultures where it's not as stigmatized (e.g. Japan, ancient Rome) -- is it still considered an outcome of mental illness?

Heather Leonard

How do invasive thoughts factor into suicide? Do other creatures die of suicide as well? What kind of social factors might influence some one to be more likely to die of suicide? I know in resilience studies, various support systems exist in all of our lives that can affect how resilient we are. How does suicide tie into that? What’s the best way to talk to someone struggling with suicidal ideation if you’ve been there yourself? Does talking about your own experience help at all? What’s the best way to find support without getting Baker Act’d? How does religion and afterlife ideation relate with suicide?

Aimee Ford

FTQA I lost a friend I made online a couple years ago. She had a serotonin syndrome episode from an adverse reaction to medication. She reached out to her doctor for help and from what I could tell, they brushed her off. She posted a lot of upsetting things, went radio silent, then all those posts were taken down. Her friends tried to help, but we didn't have a way to reach her from a distance and we learned too late what happened from a rather callous news report. I still don't quite know what to do with the grief. I didn't know how to process it. I didn't know the family and didn't get to go to the memorial service. This "friends but not in real life" is sort of a new category of connection. We don't have a social structure for how to grieve the loss of an internet friend, especially to suicide. Any advice on how to navigate that? And more important, any advice on what to do in a long distance situation when you see the problem but feel helpless? I don't think a wellness check from a police officer would have been the right move in that situation.

Rebecca Roehm

Has the stigma of suicde changed over time or has it generally remained the same? How we talk about has changed in recent years but stigmas are hard to change.

Lisa Gorman

What can you do if someone you know mentions they have or have had suicidal ideation? Is there a good way to talk about this with them or an ideal way to approach it?

Sarah Berman

How has covid changed the landscape of suicidality, in terms of both social distancing & isolation, and as a result of long covid? Another question- I have lost two people to suicide- a best friend in high school, and an ex-girlfriend a few years ago. In both cases I have had a morbid curiosity/fascination with the details. With the best friend, I was privy to most of the details, and still talk about it with friends even though it was 13 years ago. However, I have no details about the ex-girlfriend's suicide, and to this day I am desperate to know exactly what happened. Where does this fascination with the gruesome come from and does it serve a purpose? Follow up to this- in what ways does suicidality differ between age groups (the whole range from suicidal thoughts, to causes, and aftermath)? Last question- how can communities strike a good balance between being open about someone's suicide completion, and preventing copycats? I remember high school administrators and teachers struggling with this balance after my friend's suicide.

Wren S

Seconding questions about societal affects on rates, gender differences in presentation, and prevelance in other animals! I'm also wondering if we have any understanding of what makes one person prone to suicidal ideation and another prone to an actual attempt? Is there anything known to cause a crossing over from passive desire to active planning?

Beet lover

1. What are some effective ways to live with suicidal thoughts and make peace with them? 2. How can families best respond and process a family member’s suicide attempt? 3. My younger brother had a suicide attempt in only 6th grade and I still harbor so much anger at my parents for creating an unsafe environment for him and then not supporting us fellow siblings in processing the event. Are there any helpful facts or contexts you can share that can help me release the anger and shame I feel?

Ashley Bower

What can we do for friends/family who are suicidal who don’t want to seek help?

Lori G

I live in Ontario Canada, where MAID (Medical assistance in dying) is legal for many reasons. Unfortunately, the reason of mental health is still under much discussion. My situation is where my father suffered from Alzheimer’s disease before he died and my mother is now living with it in long-term care. I feel as if I have a bull’s-eye on my back and often think I would really not want to live with that disease. What are your thoughts on that situation?

EssieRoo

FTQA ish, I did leave a question on fun but it's not out yet. Passive suicidal ideation! Can we talk about it? I've dealt with them my whole life and don't understand why. Maybe it was conditioned into me. I don't understand how people can go about their day and want to live every second of it. It started young (5 or 6) just wanting to jump out of windows to just stop feeling. Now I've come to terms with it and just say it's intrusive thoughts. I've come a long way. I'm doing great now. Don't worry, I'm in therapy.

Melanie Pringle

Are you aware of any studies in the works for either a) better understanding suicidal ideation vs suicide completion and/or b) promising treatment options for folks with suicidal ideation? As a person with an extensive family history of both suicidal ideation and completion, I would love to have cause to hope that there might be better outcomes for future generations!

Pearl Ramone

Living under the threat of a spouse who has made suicidal gestures in the past is traumatic. They have been attending regular therapy sessions and taking medication, however I’m constantly on edge when their hopelessness and depression take over. I’m also worried they’re not sharing the full story with their therapist. What is the best way to navigate a spouse that has indicated suicide in the past and is it ever ok to feel like everything is ok again?

Joe Lewis

Brother of a friend of a friend committed suicide by cop years ago on July 4; in discussing it, the friend said that a study of suicide survivors found many of them chose a holiday for their attempt in order to affect how their family/friends would feel about that holiday. I’ve always wanted to know more about this.

Vin

FTQA I was wondering about the thought process that happens after you've been suicidal, like how your brain adds that to its Default Response for the slightest inconvenience. For example, if you go to the store and they don't have your favorite ice cream. Your brain always has the extreme KYS option alongside the "get a different flavor" option. Does it just become a part of the list of coping mechanisms in your brain after that permanently?

Ida Barksdale

Survivor of 2 suicide attempts here. 2 questions: 1) Why is there no word for people who survived a suicide attempt? If I use the word suicide survivor, then folks assume I had a close friend/family member commit suicide. 2) why are autistic people so prone to suicide? I am autistic and both my kiddos are autistic as well but not much info can be found behind the statistic. I’d love to be able to have informed conversations with my kids about it. Thanks!

Joe

How common are suicidal ideation and invasive thoughts of violence among preteens (as young as 7 to 8 years old)? What resources are recommended for this age group absent a clear medical or psychiatric diagnosis?

Kelly Crowley

When I’m really struggling, why does just imagining committing suicide provide me some relief?

midnightcat

First time question asker:) :/ main q: Curious about the venn-diagram overlap between suicide and euthanasia - where do experts draw the line? Why is it considered “illegal” on a moral level to commit suicide vs say sacrificing oneself so that someone else can live. A few people close to me have attempted to un-life themselves and I’m so thankful it didn’t go through. When active thoughts or doubts have been brought up it feels like we’re talking about a breakup with a long term partner but that partner is life and I’m extolling the virtues of sticking with it, making it work, figuring out what’s not working and then creating a plan to structure life for that person so that it is manageable. This was a really specific situation but sometimes had me wondering ‘am I cycling them back into an abusive relationship with life’. I believe this person is generally content now though. Death as an impulse decision vs a long thought out process does seem to have nuance though. As someone who doesn’t struggle with constant suicidal ideation, I’m curious as to how it’s studied and treated especially with the modern reality of social media chiming in (hopefully without the stigma). Generally curious to listen and wondering if there will be reflections from the death positivity movement along with a big chunk of suicide prevention! (If you made it to the end thank you, and apologies for the stream of consciousness)

Danae DeJournett

I had a really rough patch of depression at the end of college and the first few years after. I never hurt myself, but I spent a lot of time hoping I didn’t wake up in the morning ir someone would hit me with their car accidentally. Is there such a thing as passive suicidal ideation? I’m in a much better place now and I look back at the things I wrote and just want to give younger me a hug.

Taylor Clinton

Hey Alie, thank you so much for doing this episode. I’ve had to take my partner to the ER 2 times because of suicidal thoughts and self harm, so this episode is one I will probably listen to over and over again. My main question is: how can I as a partner be the most helpful when my partner (or anyone I know) is in crisis ❤️ I’ve learned a lot in my own therapy and from hearing about my partner’s DBT program, but I’m always trying to do better 🥺

Diana Teeter

I’ve battled suicidal ideation my whole life and have built a network of people who I feel safe with who know this about me. At any time I can say to any one of them “I’m not safe with myself right now” and they will be there for me, no questions asked, no judgement, no pressure to “fix” anything. This is something I’ve found life saving for myself but I know isn’t possible for everyone. What can people do if they are feeling unsafe with themselves but have no safety net to turn to? What do I do if I need my network and I can’t reach anyone in the moment?

Ariana Rose

Hey Jennifer, loved one of someone who completed suicide here. All I can say is I had so much love and care for my partner, and wanted to do everything I could to give them support. Unfortunately one common behavior of people planning suicide is to distance themselves from loved ones, including intentionally or subconsciously doing hurtful things to their loved ones so they are more likely to be angry at them and distance themselves from the individual. If someone is truly planning to complete suicide, they don't want to be stopped and will do whatever it takes to ensure they are not. In the aftermath, anger was my very first response. Because although I know my loved one got the peace they were looking for, they left all of us here to now carry on the pain they were feeling. And unlike someone who attempts and doesn't complete, there is no hope that the person can get the help they need to move through the pain they are feeling and find value in life again. Someone who completed suicide has made a permanent decision that everyone that loves them now has to live with. I will never stop loving my partner, but I also know that my anger is still valid. I hope this helps give a bit more context on some of the nuances around being someone affected by another person's struggles with suicide!

Iris Clover

FTQA What age do we tell our kids about suicide and how do we tell them? I rather then learn from a parent than some kids at school

Lisa Gorman

I'm a veterinarian, which is a profession with a much higher suicide rate compared to others in the US. Any tips on how to discuss this with people who may be considering vet school? It feels pretty awful to tell someone excited about becoming a vet that by doing this they will probably end up knowing someone who dies by suicide and will be high risk themselves, but it also feels like information people should have before they make this big life choice.

Sugarpuffdaddykins

Why do some people develop ideations after starting SSRIs or SNRIs? Sometimes heavily enough to go through with it, all because of a medication?

Iris Clover

I agree. I tried 6 years ago on Mothers day but I thought that's what my mom wanted from me. I didn't think about the holiday aspect besides suicide being a gift.

Daisy Moser

First time question asker. Can we talk medically assisted suicide? When and where is this allowed? Also, are there other animals that exhibit this behavior?

Lauren N.

I read somewhere that people who lose a parent in childhood are at a higher risk of suicide as adults. Any info on that? (I think I read it in relation to Sylvia Plath, who lost her father to cancer as a child, and who had a son who also committed suicide as an adult)

Ariana Rose

Resources and strategies work too!

Jenna Congdon

This was touched on in the Thanatology episodes (if I remember correctly), but each culture views death differently. In the US, we tend to not talk about death, and will often take extreme measures to avoid it, even when someone has suffered catastrophic medical events that won't allow for a good quality of life at all. (Coming from the healthcare field!). Basically, we as a society tend to value life with a "quantity over quality" mindset. How does that affect the way we respond to suicide? Other cultures value life and death differently; how does that change the way they view, process, and respond to suicidal thoughts and actions?

Iris Clover

FTQA and a silly question... If a friend who is suicidal doesn't want help and they become draining to be around, is it valid to stop being their friend even though they really need support?

Sydonie S.

Do you have any tips for addressing the topic of suicide with young children? (A relative of mine died by suicide years ago and his son, now 6, is starting to ask questions about his father's death)

Alli Barg

Relationship between OCD and suicidal thoughts?

Marina D

FTQA I have a daughter who sometimes self-harms. Is this always a sign of suicidal thoughts, or something totally different? And how can we support het and bring her to other coping mechanisms?

Iris Clover

This is a great question

Robin F.

FTQA: What can you do when you and someone you otherwise lean on for support are both feeling very depressed (or worse)? When you want to be there for them, but you’re struggling badly yourself?

Paul Hoffman

How does one both honor the deep feelings of someone who is seriously considering suicide as a means to end their current sufferening and your deep belief that this is the wrong action for them to take even when faced with that suffering?

ava guihama !

I’m curious about things like Medical Aid in Dying as a response to repeated suicidal ideation/suicide attempts. Places like canada and certain countries in western europe have gotten heat for offering MAID to people with Borderline Personality Disorder, for example, which often includes in its symptoms intense suicidal feeling. What are the ethical implications of assisting a suicidal person in ending their life? Does offering MAID offer relief, or is it giving up? Is it a way of copping out on improving the economic/political systems that lead people to feeling suicidal? Some combination of those, or something else?

Joe Lewis

Many people have asked questions along the lines of "what is the best way to help if my friend gives me clues?” Is the advice different for coworkers, students? What should a boss or a teacher or an HR manager do differently from a friend or roommate that does not have to also protect other workers or students?

mish the fish

i've been in treatment for chronic depression for almost 15 years. i've made some attempts but none in almost 5 years. how come whenever i get stressed out, my brain tells me to make an attempt? will that go away? if so, how?

Rae Moore

This was going to be one of my questions too. I once spent months of my life planning the end of it. I’m here and well now but if someone were to say “See? Aren’t you so glad you didn’t do it?” My honest answer would be no. Not because I’m not well now but because I remember exactly how terrible that pain was and if my past self had taken the out I would never hold it against her. And I wondered this often back then; how could anyone tell me that that suffering was not comparable to terminal physical illness? It was so nearly terminal for me…

Rae Moore

How do we explain to ourselves the phenomenon of suicide at all in the context of evolution? Is it not the antithesis of what we understand to be the driving force of it? Have humans accidentally evolved so much consciousness that our own capacity to think is our undoing?

Ariana Rose

As someone who lost a loved one to suicide, I think anything that can stop them from taking that immediate action is valuable. In many cases, suicide attempts are "impulsive" based on an acute round of depression/trauma/PTSD. Getting someone to delay that action can often give them and their brain the time it needs to rethink and be more open to getting help. The scary part comes when they are lying about feeling better and distancing themselves so their loved ones can't take steps to try and delay that action. Someone who is truly committed to completing suicide will do everything they can to make sure they won't be stopped.

Lizzy Martinez

Can you talk about the rate of suicide for cismales and those who identify as male, and how we can support them? This is going off of research I read a decade ago and I've heard differing updates on improvement or not since then. Also, can you speak to what we as a country can do so much better to help our veterans with suicide prevention?

Anastasia Press

If you haven't looked into this already, you might be interested in the research around adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). There's a direct correlation between the number of ACEs someone has and their likelihood to develop all sorts of physical and mental struggles in adulthood, including suicidality

Aych

first time question asker. so, imposter syndrome about having a history of suicidal ideation without having attempted... is that fucked up or what? any ideas on what to do with that? (specifically for me it's reared up in mutual support type situations like aa)

Joe Porfido

Would like to hear if it relates to self harm, thank you

Jessi Po

What is the best way to support a victim of suicide loss? Kids who watched their father die by suicide work with me....the topic comes up, how can I best support?

Cass

Why is my brain like this? Is the constant suicidal ideation tied to OCD-like repetitive thought patterns?

Bevearlea

Same here, Diana, my parents never expected me to reach 21 so each year after 21 is a whole celebration of my own victory. It’s so brave of you to have created and maintained that network! Suicide hotlines are an excellent resource to keep in your contacts list. Dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT) reduced the frequency of ideation for me by teaching me distress tolerance techniques. It’s a game changer.

Bevearlea

Is there any correlation between the age of suicidal beginnings and outcomes? I don’t think I’ve seen much data on very young children who fixate on or attempt suicide but I was one. My brother and I apparently saw our mother with a knife to her wrists at a young age but I can’t say I would have even grasped the implications at that age. It was enough to shock her into seeking help, showing her just how pervasive her post-partial depression was. Anyone else’s parents ever tell them they stockpiled pills or kept lives hidden for this purpose? It can’t be just me.

Nita Chen

Why do some individuals speak of missing the suicidal ideations after no longer being suicidal? Is there such a phenomenon as missing the melancholy?

Allie Neureither

First time question asker!! What are your thoughts on the meme-ification of talking about "killing yourself"? I recently saw a video of a guy golfing who totally shanked it and sighed and said, "I'm gonna kill myself". Do you think it helps normalize talking about suicide or do you think it has negative consequences?

Agnes Loves Ologies

First time question asker! As someone who has struggled with suicidal thoughts/ideation in the past, would you say that there is a correlation within religious communities and suicidal tendencies? Very excited to listen to this episode. Also Ologies helped me get out of that darkest headspace, so this podcast means a lot to me.❤️

ZZ

I have worked in mental healthcare with chronically suicidal people, and often wondered if we are doing more harm trying to make people stay alive when they are suffering to that extent. We talk about radical acceptance and self-determination but only to a point. It's ethically and emotionally so tricky.

Susana Capucho

How can we support people who are going through the loss of friends & family to suicide? Even those who have dealt with it many many years ago but haven't healed from that tragedy yet? Thank you for this episode, this is a personal one to me.

Leclerc fan

I attempted suicide twice when in my 20s. After the 2nd I was hospitalized for 2 weeks. Now in my late 50s I'm very glad I did not succeed. I love the Walt Whitman quote "that the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse." At the same time I completely understand how people get to this decision. Has the doctor found any specific ideas that helps people want to stay fiercely in the game? Thank you!

RJ Doidge

I’m not even sure how to word this, which is kind of the point. I realize this is rather subjective but if someone wants to be the best ally towards someone that is struggling, what is the right way to do that? I think about folks like Anthony Bourdain and Robin Williams who, on the surface, seemed to be well adjusted and successful people. Is it truly just waiting for someone to come to you? Or is there a way to be open and let someone know that you’re a safe person to speak with if they should feel thst

Blair C

I would like to asks those who study suicide if there is a correlation between difficult birth experiences and suicidal methods that cause suffocation (like hanging, etc). Retired midwife asking so maybe not as dark as it sounds. some babies are so entwined I have wondered if those memories of duress would resurface under extreme stress. )

Janika Mäki

First time question asker. Is there any data on other animals committing suicide or is it only found in humans? Thank you for discussing this important topic! I too have had a close member of my family lost to suicide.

Andy Pepper

This has probably already been asked somehow, but are pop culture depictions of suicide generally helpful or harmful? Are there any they would applaud? Do they have thoughts on how suicide can be depicted in ways that are destigmatizing, or is stigma just something that’s always inherent?

Estelle

I have heard that it is common to happen in threes in smaller communities. I live in Alaska and it has been unfortunately somewhat true. I am curious if that is something you have noticed?

Bob Keeney

My fiancee attempted suicide 27 years ago and ultimately we did not get married. I look back and figured it was 'that moment' that ended the relationship even if it took almost a year for the engagement to end and another 6 or 7 years for me to understand that it was the suicide attempt that sealed our fate together, or not together, if you will. BTW, now married for 25 years with 2 kiddos and super happy in my marriage. Part of me feels a little guilty about letting her go, but then part of me is happy that I did. That make sense? Is this normal for partners? Can you talk about how it often affects committed relationships? Do couples usually survive a suicide attempt or does it often lead to separation or divorce? In my peer/friend group I'm the only one that's gone through an attempt so I'm curious what happens to many/most couples.

ava guihama !

Thank you so much for sharing! I have a complicated relationship to it as well (as someone who has been chronically suicidal since childhood but finally hit remission as an adult/has worked with suicidal unhoused people as an adult) because—how do we convince people who are suicidal that the world is worth living in, when meaningful, long-lasting change to their lives requires total dissolution of at least a handful of systems or a community that might not exist? I think every life is so precious and every life lost is an immense tragedy, but how much more damaging can it be to keep someone alive when they—through no fault of their own—cannot change the circumstances that make them suicidal? Our systems of suicide prevention in the west are so incomplete—it feels like we bring people back from the edge but absolutely no further. It’s like we are trying to convince people to live, and when they choose to, they are awash in a culture of death. I don’t have an answer but am so appreciative of your perspective and hope this will be one of the questions chosen for the episode.

Kleb

Hey. That's an amazing question. I have flerted with the idea myself many times and when I saw Alice's call for questions my first reaction was to get here and ask "why not? But with no bull* of God, bla bla bla. Really, why not?"

Julie K. Rose

My husband's mom committed suicide when he was 21. He's 57 now and has put all of it into a box labeled "do not open", though of course all of that trauma affects his life every day. I think he's ready to open the box now but he's scared to take the first step. He's been to therapists before but he wasn't really ready and didn't have great experiences. Any advice I can share with him would be very welcome.

Kleb

I think that one part of the answer to your question might be that it seems no listener/supporter is ever prepared to really discuss it. So really hearing might be a great start.

Olivia

As someone with OCD, suicidal ideation is mostly an intrusive thought for me and struggling with PMDD, the suicidal ideation occurs during my luteal phase. I would love to know more about how specific conditions affect the likelyhood of ideation and attemps.

Alli B

I lost my best friend who was on medication to treat bipolar disorder. What is it about medications that can increase risk of suicide and warrant the warnings on prescription commercials? How do psychiatrists balance the pros vs cons and is there any standardization or ethics involved? What factors contribute to suicide deaths without warning signs? Thanks for covering this topic. It’s a heavy one. Ps, I’m an Allison Ann, too. Woot.

Olivia

How common are copycat suicides? When Kurt Cobain passed, there were people who took their lives in a similar way. Also, what are the cultural implications of that?

Olivia

How is suicide seen across cultures?

Hannah b

First time question asker! I wanted to ask about passive suicidal thinking and if there is usually always correlation with more serious suicidal thinking, and passive suicidal thoughts linking to ocd, and neurodivergence in general, is that more common for people with neurodivergent experiences?

Kleb

Great question! I hope there's an answer less generic than "find a thing that you love" or medication or religion

Sophia Runte

FTQA: What are the contributing factors to designating suicide a crime?

Sophia Runte

FTQA: What percentage of suspected suicide cases worldwide are investigated as homicides?

Madonna Lucien

First time question asker and SO GRATEFUL to you for covering this!! I work in suicide prevention and wonder if you would be willing to share the youth suicide prevention campaign Never a Bother (NeveraBother.org, Instagram, Tik Tok). This is a CA campaign co-created by youth from the ground up, and has free resources for youth who are struggling, friends who want to provide support, and adults looking to support a youth in their care. Sponsored by the state of CA, but made great by the youth who are brave and talented enough to drive it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!

Elsi Kay

First time question asker - my cousin committed suicide a few weeks before his 30th birthday. He only left behind a letter to instruct the family about his funeral but not any explanation and it really was out of the blue. How common is it for friends and family truly not to see it coming and be offered no reasons for why the person wanted to end their life?

Rori

FTQA: Two of my cousins committed suicide within a year of each other. They were identical twins. How much genetics could’ve possibly played into that?

Robert G Audet

Love you Alison Ann DadWard! Powerful ology. I thought of suicide in my mid teens while firmly entrenched in the closet and scared to death to come out (in the 70s) Has the suicide rate reduced substantially for LGBT youth and adults? Our society is such a mix of acceptance and reactionary rejection right now. I’m glad I’m out but wonder how best society can support struggling youth. Thanks.

PopsicleEmperor

As a therapist I'm curious how you feel about things like MAID for mental health. In Canada theres a stalled initiative to potentially allow MAID for chronic mental health that is treatment resistent. but it seems incredibly complicated and not something to he implemented lightly. Have you heard of this and do you have any thoughts or stances on this?

Amy Zucker Morgenstern

Thanks for taking up this topic, Dadward. I have lost people I love to suicide and it is so horrible. For your guest: if we changed one thing in public policy to prevent suicide, what would you want it to be? Amy Z M

Kelsey Stenglein

FTQA too! I second this question and also feel like it's related to the use of the skull emoji for something funny ('dying from laughter'). This always makes me feel weird so I will hang on to my 'crying while laughing' emoji. Why did people even start using the skull for laughter anyway?

theo (nastygardenrat)

question from my friend, who's in therapy and trying new treatments and working really hard: "Do you know of any coping mechanisms that help prevent you from thinking too much about it? I know some, but most of them are self destructive or only work for a little while. I don't want to think about it but I am having a very hard time getting it out of my mind Another question (for the survivor) Do you regret your attempt? And if you do, what are some things that make you happy to still be here?" I told them the expert and the survivor are the same person and they got really excited 💛

Kylie Smallenberg

If you felt suicidal, or the call of suicide from the time you are 12, until you are almost 40 now. Does that call ever go away? Even with all the therapy, even if you are also feeling happy.

Kerry Constantino

I’m curious if there are any studies that find a connection between the arts, creativity, community art, expressive art therapy and suicide prevention - especially in young people?

Maya Kraft

First time question asker: can you discuss the language we use around suicide such as saying “committed suicide” versus “died by suicide” or “completed suicide”. Also as someone who has struggled with suicidal ideation for a long time, what are the most effective treatments for not only coping and prevention but eliminating suicidal ideation?

Annabelle

I am interested in this topic. It seems like a very dangerous thing, since chronic mental health problems disproportionately affect marginalized people (homeless, indigenous, LGBT, etc). Oppressed people deserve the extra help that they need to keep on living. Not to mention many people who have attempted suicide later go on to live fulfilling lives and help others. It’s a strange concept

Average_pi

How can I help people who are struggling with suicide?

Meg

Nutmeg here, long time listener, first time question asker, when do you know to ask for help? I know everyone answer is always if you think you need help you should get help. But what if I know asking for help will cause more issues? Ie admitted when I have bills to pay and a job or therapy costs I can't afford rn or burdening a friend with the knowledge of my struggles.

Sienna

Can you talk about suicide in non human animals? I understand we avoid the term "suicide" with animals because we don't know their subjective experience, but can you shine any light on what we have learned so far?

Meaghan McVicker

I second this question, I wasn’t sure how to put it into words and you have done it well. I am sorry you have also suffered from suicidal ideation, I have since I was 14 with suicidal attempts at that age. I have been to numerous therapists, psychiatrists and psychologists and the only thing that’s helped a little was EMDR. Still working through it, nearing 40 years old. Thank you for your vulnerability.

Kendall M

When Thirteen Reasons Why came out there was massive controversy and worry about the show leading to copycat deaths. Is this a common phenomenon? How do advocates balance bringing awareness without this happening?

Sienna

What is the term for someone who has survived a suicide attempt vs when you've lost someone to suicide?

RoadLesTravelled

Suicide seems like a very courageous commitment, despite the loss suffered by those remaining. Please discuss mental attitude among despair, depression, and terminal illness for those who choose suicide. Are there even statistics for those options?

Brooklyn Baron

Thank you Alie ❤️ I really appreciate how you take on and compassionately approach difficult topics like this one. Is there any evidence that things like gun locks, firearm lockers, or other safety measures that make it more difficult to act on suicidal ideation help prevent deaths by suicide? I read an article about an activist who buys gun locks in bulk and gives them away to anyone who wants them, and I’m wondering how effective that is as a tactic. (Asking as a person who hates guns but has spent a lot of time in rural places where gun ownership is common). I also wanted to ask about how risk taking can relate to/be a form of self harm—a friend told me about a rough patch they went through several years ago in which they often didn’t wear a helmet or use lights when bicycling, which feels like a form of self harm to me but would probably have been extremely difficult to spot (I didn’t know them at the time). Lastly, not a question but I want to echo everyone who has asked about physician assisted suicide. It feels obscenely cruel that in most places that is not an option that humans can choose for themselves, but I imagine it’s also ethically and legally very complex. Thank you again Alie for all the work you do, and for speaking out and sharing knowledge about mental health (and everything else). You make the world a better place ❤️

Iris Clover

This is a good question because this happened after Kurt Cobain's death

Wetland Warrior

Have other animals been observed participating in suicide in the way some humans have? Ie is it a broader experience among animals or is it just humans and the burden of self awareness kind of thing?

rowantree

How can family and friends support individuals struggling with suicidal ideation while also maintaining our own mental health and wellbeing?

Ken

Why do many people think suicide is mysterious? Also, why don't more people kill themselves?

Sienna

My partner survived a suicide attempt and continued to struggle with ideation for many years. We created a safety plan so we were prepared when specific symptoms popped up that indicated care was needed, and together we worked on skills. I'm grateful to say that with years of hard work on their part through DBT, Therapy and medication, they haven't been suicidal in a couple years. But it was really hard to get them care when they needed it outside of support from our close friends and family. There doesn't seem to be much real help out there for treating suicidal ideation. We are told to ask for help, but when you do (at least in Portland, OR) you are turned away. Most therapists will not take patients for this condition, and it seems like a long list of people saying "you should talk to someone" and then having no one to actually turn to. People are often scared to talk about it, because the reaction they get is often escalating the problem by calling the police, or simply responding with shock and fear. Is there a support network out there that we don't know about? And can you talk about why providers are hesitant to offer support for suicide?

Sienna

My brother took his life when he was in his 20s. My father blamed himself and never fully healed from the loss. He punished himself for not being able to stop it, by refusing to paint ever again. The grief kind of held him in place ever since. Can you talk about the specific nature of suicide grief and the role of blame, shame and guilt that so many people carry? And maybe how to let that go?

Maya Kraft

Thank you for sharing! I am currently doing EMDR as well.

Sienna

I would also really like to hear more about PMDD and ideation

Sarah king

I’ve heard it takes 6 minutes from when the impulse of wanting to die to taking the action, is this accurate? Does this mean we can delay the impulse to the action??

Between Dumplings

Your friend most likely thinks of their presence and listening not as a burden but as a gift—to be there for your, listen with compassion. This is not a burden it is an honor.

Katie Payne

What efforts are being made to include people who have attempted suicide in conversations around suicide prevention? And how can we better advertise that suicidal ideation can be a symptom of ocd and bipolar and is capable of being eliminated through medication? I spent 10 years actively suicidal and it wasn’t until my second attempt that I was accurately diagnosed with bipolar 2 and prescribed lithium which IMMEDIATELY stopped my suicidal ideation. Also interested in how socioeconomic status contributes to suicidal ideation.

Sienna

When I was providing support for my partner to cope with suicidal ideation, sometimes it got really scary and hard. I felt bad that it was causing me pain and suffering and it took a long time for us to figure out healthy boundaries where I could support them without sacrificing my own well being. Am I alone with this or is this a common issue? Can you talk about how to approach suicidal care taking in a way that honors the needs of both people?

SusanM

Same as New Zealand. Ask for help, talk about it...to who?

RaeBayBay

Evolutionarily speaking, having suicidal thoughts is useless, right? So why do we even have them in the first place, if we still at our core as animals want to continue surviving and reproducing? It’s like our brain wants two opposite ends of the spectrum at once , but only sometimes one of those urges wins.

RaeBayBay

I consider myself someone who passively wants to die …. Meaning I have no intention to take my own life. But I don’t like this hell hole we’ve created and would probably be at peace if I didn’t exist anymore. Is this a form of suicidal ideation? Do other people feel this way?

Between Dumplings

This topic is huge and scary because it asks us to accept two extremes at once: ambiguity and vulnerability. Everyone in a suicidal moment is in a house of mirrors. Survivors may be at a loss for dealing with it. I helped prevent a death of someone I love (in the years before cell phones) and am forever changed. I cannot know how successful my strategy would be universally, but in case it helps anyone struggling: Please know: - you may not see the light at the top of the well but that is not a personal failing. It May be a simple glitch in your brain chemistry in this moment, that is painting everything black just now. I ask you to take a leap of faith with me - not forever - but for five or ten minutes. Just pause the path you are on for five or ten minutes. Believe that some things you cannot see may be true. Take gravity. You are grounded even if you cannot see gravity, you know it is there. You matter. You ARE loved. You matter. Like gravity you —may not SEE this, in this moment. But it may also still be true. You are not a burden. Your mess is not the worst, or something shameful. You are likely looking at someone else who also has felt their mess is awful and shameful and you just don’t know. Probably you would say “come on! I’m here for you! You are loved!” Someone who loves you is feeling the same for you, too. Give them the gift of being with you in the dark, acknowledging that and maybe helping you find a way out. They will be grateful. 🎈

Gina Woolsey

I'm also curious about any connection to socioeconomic status and suicide. I read once that people with higher SES are more likely to have suicidal ideation because they have more to lose, in a sense, and that loss can be the trigger for those thoughts. Is this true and what kids of studies are out there?

Alexandra

I’m curious if religious beliefs can influence suicidal thoughts and the likelihood of actually attempting suicide? Most religions consider suicide to be something bad and the belief in a life after death might have an influence as well, but what beliefs do the people hold who are most likely to attempt suicide? First time question asker here

Jordon B

Passive suicidal ideation is real/still considered SI and you're definitely not alone.

Jordon B

I second this question (thanks for asking it @rowantree)

Organic Free-Range Lily

Regarding the sky-high suicide rates in Native American communities, especially among teenagers... Have there been any outreach and/or prevention strategies that proved much more effective than others? If so, is there a systemic effort to replicate and roll them out across the US and Canada? If not, what can an average person do to help? (Sorry if this question is way outside your field of expertise!)

Sugarpuffdaddykins

Why do some places criminalize suicide? And does it prevent people from attempting? Or make it worse? And kind of same question when it comes to religions saying suicide is a sin. How the hell is any of that helpful?

Mandy Hobson

I’ve been on the edge of suicide too many times in my life. What is happening in my brain that makes me want to end it all? How does it get to this point?

Megan Lynch

Because Western society treated suicide as a crime for so long, the response is often to send police, who frequently make things worse, even killing the person they were sent to check on. Especially if that person is disabled, BIPOC, and/or LGBTQIA. Do you know of any effective programs that people can call besides cops? Even when people call "crisis lines", they frequently call the cops against people's wishes.

Max G

What do you wish teachers knew about making students who are experiencing suicidal thoughts feel safer asking for help?

Renee W

This is an interesting question. From an evolutionary perspective, there may not be a clear answer, but could it have something to do with an innate urge to omit “weak” individuals from the gene pool? Even if that person is ourselves? Maybe a connection to shame making a person feel as if they no longer belong among their social group and aren’t likely to survive all on their own?

Spicy Native

I feel the same way and I second your thoughts. You're not alone and I completely understand that feeling of deep hopelessness at times. ❤️

Elta Sparks

In the movie the Happening, the premise was (very minimalistically) that people's will to live was reversed by plants. Silly as it sounds, is that something that would be possible? Could pheromones or chemicals cause someone to want to commit suicide? Thanks dad 🖤

Jill Savory

Intersection of the impacts of schooling and mental health. Correlation of trends in public education and suicide/suicidality rates? Rates of suicide among elementary students? Reasons for increases? Suggestions or recommendations for peer reviewed studies on this? With the increased rates of mental health disorders among young people, what role does schooling play? <- slightly off topic, but related. Thank you for doing this ❤️

Heidi Stooshnoff

Any advice on helping support friends and family who feel that they have to be endlessly available to watch a friend / family member who is suicidal. How to help them rest for themselves and release any guilt / worry that their being unavailable every moment will make a loss their fault.

Heidi Stooshnoff

For context I work with a team of educators in alternate education so this comes up a lot for us.

Colleen Sellwood

Do we know if there's an evolutionary benefit behind suicide or suicidal thoughts? Or have we just malfunctioned somewhere alone the line?

Nicki

Hi Kylie, I know I’m not necessarily an expert but from someone who has also experienced this, I can say that the call has completely gone away for me. I’m very fortunate to have had a lot of help and the ability to afford trying many, many different treatments over the years. But after almost 30 years with SI can say with certainty that I want to keep living as long as I can. If you aren’t seeing progress with one type of therapy, I encourage you to try something else, there are many new treatments being explored all the time. Also there can be a co-morbid (or multiple in my case) issue that may need treatment in order to get you on the path. I hope the ologist will have some good insight for you as well. Wishing you the best<3

Nicki

I second this question as someone who also was exposed to suicidality in the home at a very young age and first had SI at age 7/8. I’m curious if age of SI onset has any relationship with outcomes?

Rose Moon

FTQA: What can be done to help children of people who have died by suicide? Obvs therapy for most, but what can friends do?

The Other Maya

Anything on this thread of thought I'm curious about. Any correlation between cesareans and suicidal ideation in life?

The Other Maya

Is there a gut bacteria correlation to suicidal ideation? Hormone imbalances else wise? Are autopsies and or tissue/ fluid/ other biological samples of persons who have died by self inflicted means standard or standardized or are there studies on this line? Do we have any biological clues to help us unpack the weight of the mental aspects of suicide and suicidal ideation?

Nicki

FTQA: What factors have been identified as contributing to higher suicide rates among certain marginalized groups (i.e. Indigenous Americans, LGBT, etc.) than others (i.e. Black Americans having the lowest rates among US ethnic groups)? Or alternatively, have protective factors been identified in communities/groups with lower suicide rates?

Doug Paice

There is a lot of guilt and shame associated with having made a suicide attempt. I was told to hold on to that as it could be protective. Is this a good way to frame things?

Doug Paice

What's the difference between someone with suicidal ideation and someone who is actually suicidal. How big a warning is the ideation.

Doug Paice

I'm glad your partner got help. I also found DBT and meds a great help. I also found schema therapy very helpful. Finding a good therapist and psychiatrist is so important, and hard, unfortunately

Doug Paice

How do you address people who dismiss suicide failed attempts as "they didn't really want to die" or "they weren't serious" or "it was for attention" or similar?

Cheryl W

Please cover how to help elderly family members plan for a peaceful death process rather than contemplate suicide. Being old and sick is bad enough. Death doulas are awesome but very few people know how they can help.

Doug Paice

Just a personal anecdote. It's a mixed bag, I regret making an attempt, but it lead to getting the help and perspective I needed. The thing I regret is the impact it had and would have had on my family.

Death Nell (Nellaenora)

Why do some brains seem to just default to a background noise of low-key (sometimes high-key) comfort thoughts of wanting to not be alive? I've had this as a background noise as long as I can remember, even - or sometimes especially - in times when I truly love life and myself and the world. It's like, if things are bad, don't want to have to deal with them. If they're just okay, what's the point. If things are amazing, this is it, I might never have things this good again, I should quit while I'm ahead. I didn't have any particularly traumatic or difficult childhood or anything, in fact I count myself exceedingly lucky in my parentage and the positive intergenerational communities I grew up in. I would say overall I'm a pretty positive and optimistic person, even. I have survived to (just about to turn) 30, and have mental safeguards in place that remind me why I'm not allowed to go through with any of these thoughts even on the occasions when they get louder and more earnest, so I'm not at all worried that I will ever die by suicide or even come close. So whyyyy my brain go, "hey you could just not" as a default background noise?! Is it really even a default?

Christine Hurley

WHEW. Why do some medications increase suicidal thoughts in young people but not older people? I take wellbutrin for ADHD & it specifically says it can cause suicidal thoughts/actions in people under 18 -- what the. So does that mean there is some aspect of suicide that IS beyond our control?

Cat Lady

How would you respond to people who say that those who commit/attempt/fantasize about suicide are "selfish"? Something that happens all too often is that people label those who commit/attempt/fantasize about suicide as selfish. I believe selfishness is a non-issue when it comes to suicide. Whatever reason someone has for committing/attempting/fantasizing about it is, I believe, valid and does not need to be justified. Any thoughts?

Jeri Rae Art

FTQA are there other species that suicide themselves? And can we use that information to help learn more about ourselves?

Zinc

suicide ideation is incredibly high in autistic people without learning disabilities. in my experience, therapy that is not specifically done for autistic people is a waste of time. what is being done to improve the mental health of autistic people? we desperately need it.

Zinc

do any non human animals die by suicide?

Zinc

i remember vividly as a young child, realising that if death exists, then i can always choose to end my own life. can someone be born with a tendency towards suicide ideation, or is it all environmental?

Zinc

therapy is getting a lot of press and talk, but i think it is often presented without how important it is to find the right therapy and treatment for you. what can be done to improve people’s experience finding the right therapy and therapist? i think bad experiences can ruin someone for it, for life.

Zinc

please cover trends between suicide ideation and chronically ill people

Lyssa Mercier

I work in education (in the UK) supporting older teenagers and sadly, I see that suicidal thoughts and even attempts are relatively common. Has this actually been on the rise over the decades, or does it just feel that way because (thankfully) conversations have become more open? Is there an increased risk factor for people with ADHD and other types of neurodivergence? Do they have any advice on how to take care of yourself while supporting others with such serious mental health issues? I'm grateful to have had training on how to handle those conversations, help with safety plans, etc, but what can you do after to preserve your own wellbeing? Thank you for covering such a challenging and important topic.

Changeling

This is tricky one I think. Hey I'm a new one here, but I just loooove the approach you Have Alie. Hello from Latvia...

slam whitey

I think bjorks live rendition of "Gloomy Sunday" takes the cake for this subject musically. I would love a bit of info on the legality of suicide, and especially the legality of reporting on it in the news...

Changeling

I'm not specialist but it's just something else. Recently I rediscovered my will to survive, because someone meaningful of mine passed away. And it spark creative change in my life. Will to fight and to express stuff. Young generation grows in digital world and I think it's and addiction that can be a tricky situation. Suicide is easy exit. Thinking of ways is impossible. But with everyone you could find the right approach, if people would be more or less empathic to each other.....

Lyssa Mercier

You are absolutely not alone. I've been there and have also spoken to a lot of people supporting loved ones through suicidal thoughts. It's totally normal to feel sad, scared, even angry, and it is really important to take care of yourself and look after your own wellbeing while loved ones are struggling. It's like how they say to put your own oxygen mask on first on a plane. Being able to communicate openly and figure out how you can be supporting eachother and understand your boundaries is so crucial, and really not easy, I'm really glad you guys figured it out.💜

Kimberly

FTQA. I’m currently going through the worst year of my life (I’m 32). Loss upon loss upon loss. How do I make it through this when I don’t want to be here anymore? I am doing all the healthy things, but I am not feeling better. Please help. Edit: Thank you fellow humans for your replies. I asked for help, and you helped. Thank you for making me feel safe, valid, heard, and loved. 🫂 I am not fixed, but I will heal. I will breathe through this. I am not alone.

Skyler Ryan Figueroa

First time question asker! I first started having suicidal ideation at 7 years old. What's up with that? What's going on in the brain that can make such young children already suicidal?

Devin McPeek

I’m curious about physician-assisted suicide. I understand it’s legal in some places, but I’m thinking more about the ethical implications of this practice rather than the legality. What are some of the common thoughts and ethical arguments about this in the field of suicidology?

Pseudonym Jones IV

Was Camus right? "There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy."

Anna Dylan

My family has lost relatives to suicide and multiple members of my family are survivors. Is depression/suicidal ideation genetic or common within families?

Lyssa Mercier

Hi Meg, I'm sure your friend will be grateful you trusted them enough to open up. Talking to someone about how you feel is always a really positive and brave step. I don't know what country you live in, but there are likely charities and anonymous helplines that can help too if that feels like an easier place to start. Take care💜

Caro Young

Such a great and important topic! I guess what is on everyone’s mind is what can we do to help prevent suicides and I’m especially interested in preventing suicides in adolescents as I have two boys in their pre teens

Caro Young

Another question I have is why humans actually commit suicide from an evolutionary perspective. I think we are the only species that do that?

Caro Young

In Australia, we have a big suicide prevention campaign called “R U okay”, which promotes raising the issue with people that we think might need help by just asking them if they are okay. I do wonder though, do people with suicidal thoughts actually admit to them and also what can we do when they say they are not ok?

The Other Maya

Same. I live in Oregon, we have Death With Dignity, but this law requires that the person receiving physician assisted suicide take the medication without assistance. This means people with advanced neurological disorders and other severe physical limitations are not eligible to receive this care. I can 100% understand why someone who has never worked in hospice, or in the field of death and dying would believe this to be a protective measure, but this is also a deeply ableist policy. Completely opposite but very worth mentioning is that physicians can sometimes take a view of "quality of life" that doesn't value disabled bodies or disabled minds, and withholding of critical care can be common in hospital or acute care settings where a person either is immobile or unable to speak due to disability or injury. There have been cases in Oregon during the lockdown times of 2020-2022 where disabled persons living in group care were denied treatment for pneumonia because the physicians in charge didn't see a "quality of life" worth preserving. Can we talk about ableism in the context of care? Especially where it involves physician assisted suicide and in particular Death With Dignity?

Keely Chavez

ER/BH RN here... first, much love, second, grippy sock vacations is one of the best terms used here yet. Take care of yourself!

Keely Chavez

They should piggyback on this about why some professions are more prone than others.

Jimmy Jones

How does non-suicidal self-injury (self harm) relate to suicide? Is it a risk factor for suicide or more of a coping mechanism?

The Other Maya

It's ok to not be ok. It's ok to ask for help. Everything is temporary, that includes joy as well as suffering. I'm very sorry for your losses and you are allowed to feel them fully. You're allowed to slow down and take it minute by minute. It's ok to be sad, it's ok to feel all of your feelings. When I'm feeling so debilitated by my own darkness that it gets hard to breathe, I focus on finding my breath. One breath after another. I try to visualize my chest becoming more open, and just work on the breath, until it becomes easier. I listen to my heartbeat, and I think about the blood in my veins. I think about this positive and negative flow of energy, breath in breath out, expansion and contraction, blood leaving and returning to my heart, and how this positive and negative flow sustains me. I try to remember that everything is temporary and that it's ok to not be ok, because eventually, if I just keep breathing I will get to a place where it doesn't hurt as much, and I can start finding the light. Please breath. And keep asking for help. If you ask for help you will find it. And if you can find some nature sounds, whether on YouTube or Spotify or in the real world please give yourself the chance to hear something in the world. Bird songs, a river, the ocean, whale song, or even the wind in the trees. Give yourself the chance to hear the world. Keep breathing, one in, one out. Maybe Carl Sagan speeches, too ❤️ it's ok to not be ok. It's ok to hurt, and it's ok to ask for help. You're doing it already ❤️

Lisa St

My brother died by suicide last September. He was 57. Nobody had a clue he was in such a dark place. We all wish we could have spoken to him that day-several of us spoke to him that week and all seemed well and normal. He wasn't, as far as any of us knew, at all suicidal. We all wish we could have told him those exact things. You matter. The world is better with you in it. (ETA-Alie, 'saint' not 'street')

Keely Chavez

UGH *CRYING* Thank you Alie I'll try to drop my questions succinctly up top: 1. Can your guest speak to the efficacy of Ketamine and ECT for suicidality? 2. I recently heard at a conference there is more evidence that self-harm behaviors do have a correlation to SI/SA, but I didn't get details. We were always taught to differentiate in the ER, and that these behaviors were expressions of anxiety. Should we still? 3. I don't think your guest can answer this question, but CAN WE JUST MAKE FIRING PEOPLE FOR GETTING HELP A FEDERAL CRIME? Put it under the ADA or some such??? As a nurse, I served in the Army, and one of my collateral duties was the "suicide prevention officer" for my unit. It crushed my soul when one of my soldiers, who was a personal friend as well, completed a suicide, having never expressed anything to me. It was worse when I learned our commander knew there was concern expressed but didn't contact me. I am thankful to work for the VA now, where many of the most cutting edge treatment modalities are being worked on, and where many of the best specialist work. But the other "issue" I had while in the service was being told to tell our soldiers it was going to be okay, not to worry about their careers or security clearances if they reached out for help, and then watching them get drummed out for having mental health disorders. Even now I know veterans who contract with the government who won't get treatment out of fear of loosing their clearance and their jobs.

Rob F

1. How can someone “make it stop” in a less irrevocable way without self medicating? 2. Is it true that disrupting a specific planned method/opportunity is enough to prevent the act altogether? 3. Why do such extremely talented, unique, brilliant people (David Foster Wallace, Robin Williams, Anthony Bourdain, sadly the list goes on & on) who seem to have it all commit suicide? 4. Do some people “grow out of” suicidal ideation?

Lisa St

My dad is in a bad spot around my brother's suicide. For dad, he lashes out in anger. Being angry is easier than acknowledging loss (IMO). And guilt-they had a horrible relationship. Dad was often controlling of and belittling to my brother, even though he thought he was supporting and helping him. My other brother and I know that dad's anger is a way to not look at that. He's utterly devastated. As are all of us-my bro's adult daughters included, and the one has a dog and 2 year old and it as heartbreaking to see the dog and toddler look for him when they were at the house.

Lisa Gorman

I'm so sorry for your losses. What has helped me is knowing that it's totally normal to get bogged down by grief when you take hit after hit. I at least have found that 1 + 1 = 5 when it comes to losses that come one after another: it feels so much worse when you have no time to recover from the first one, or when you just started to feel a little like yourself, and then you get hit with another. And it's normal to wonder what it's all for when things feel like they'll never be anything but gray. But they will get better, even though it's impossible to believe that in your bones when everything is shit. In the meantime, know that this is a thing you're in the process getting through, and it's normal to not feel better yet. You'll never be the same as you were before you lost them, and this will always be a dividing line in your life. But it's not the end, and eventually you will feel like you again. In the meantime, I have found that spending some time focusing on simple things your body likes (making/eating food you love, petting a dog, sitting outside when it's nice out) help the tiniest bit.

Lisa St

Seconding this question... none of us had any idea my brother was remotely suicidal, it wasn't part of who he was. Parents say he attempted when he was 13, but as an adult, nobody ever thought he was suicidal. He was 57 when he died 10 months ago. It's still a little raw. He left a note for his daughters, and they shared it with me and my other brother-but there was no 'why'. We're grateful that though he possessed an arsenal, he used carbon dioxide vs a weapon.

Lisa St

Sending you a big virtual hug. We say this of my brother-he's no longer fighting demons. They were demons we didn't know he was fighting-he never let anybody know. I understand that feeling of relief. As a cousin told me-grief is love. (also, great question!)

Emma Fiori

Whales and dolphins are famous for their mass suicides. And I know I've heard of other animals doing essentially the same thing.

Lisa St

We lost our brother in September. It's still hard. Sending you love.

Lisa St

Thanks Elizabeth for the rec for survivors of Suicide.

Emma Fiori

What can we do to help society come to accept suicide (and physician assisted suicide) in people with untreatable life-long suicidal depression compounded by multiple other issues that cannot be treated? While suicide is often described as selfish, I feel that expecting a loved one with this type of persistent depression to continue suffering through each day simply because someone else wants them alive is far more selfish.

The Other Maya

Seconded on risk-taking as self harm question.

Ettegoom

I work in healthcare, and seem to get notifications from our advisory board every few weeks about a suicide and fears of 'contagion' is it really a thing that is that common? Or is it a fear of contagion like how people think that gender and sexuality are a 'trend' and can be 'caught' from peers.

The Other Maya

A) Don't worry about being admitted. Most mental health stays in the suicide and self harm realm are actually very limited either in availability or in access. At least in my experience on the West Coast. Your milage may vary, but inpatient care seems to be problematically difficult to get, so don't be afraid you'll be "committed" or something against your will. Even folks that desperately need that level of care often can't get it. The standard for admitting in the ER is "are you a danger to yourself or others" which is actually kind of a high bar because you actually have to be a threat on some level. B) Most healthcare systems have a backdoor way of negotiating payments and cost after the fact. If you make contact with a billing department when the bill comes due, there's usually a way to negotiate payments that won't lead to collections or payments that break you because it's cheaper to have an agreement than take legal measures or contract a collection service. So. Don't hold off because if you need help you need help C) there are acupuncture clinics and group therapy sessions around that are sliding scale, or sometimes free, and even though it's not talk therapy I find acupuncture is a huge help. If nothing else you get to tell someone you're struggling and then they help you, which at minimum has a supportive aspect and you don't have to feel like you're holding a secret all to yourself.

The Other Maya

Ups to this question, I'd also like this perspective. Do we even have this data? If we have it, how "good" is that data - thinking about the criminalization of queerness that our queer elders endured, suffered from, and fought to end.

Eating dog hair for a living

Is suicide genetic? I have a 2nd cousin on my Dad's side that did it, a great uncle on my mother's side that did it and my father commit suicide in 2014 right before Thanksgiving. I tried when I was 19 and still have the scars on my arms. I feel like my sister's and I are doomed to feel like this is the way we will leave this world. I hope everyday that I go before my husband because if I'm left alone without the love of my life, I can't say for certain I won't. Also, why is that the first thing that pops into my head when I get sad or frustrated?

Karen Wells

Hi, Alie, thank you for considering this topic. What I dearly wish for is more assisted suicide options in this country. Why not let people die legally if they want to? I had a surgery a couple years back and answered the typical questions about permissions as I wanted to be DNR if for any reason at all something happened during the surgery and it was taken poorly by the nurse doing the questioning, I explained what I meant by it, and then she must have called my surgeon who came to explain the reality of the situation. If they have to resuscitate me they will.....I think it's a 'how many deaths were there this year?' type of thing. Nobody wants you to die THERE. I am so passionate about this because most of my 72 years I have been depressed, yes I have been medicated many of those and it helps but existentially not enough. I moved from FL to PA (where I was born) in 2021 -- two years after my husband died. Somehow I thought I was moving back to be surrounded by family and my old highschool friends. Not so much. I became almost socially anorexic. I have my groceries delivered. I have an eating disorder. I am a recovering alcoholic and sex addict. My daughters are either in therapy or on their way there and I haven't had a hug in a long long time. I would be so fine with dying. Let it be up to me. Yes, I was hospitalized the first time I spoke about these feelings and it sucked. Took away shoelaces, etc. Perfect place to eat junk food and bad coffee with lots of sugar. I calmly say to people therapist that I am not planning a suicide but it has ALWAYS been an option for me. Like Door #3 or whatever. One of the sensible choices.

Karen Wells

for instance my daughters are appalled that I would sign a DNR

Karen Wells

we never say how we really are, because we have learned painfully that it's unacceptable - ALSO, l'

Karen Wells

'do you promise to reach out to me any time of day if you want to hurt yourself?' No! "of course'

Kait

Hi, FTQA: Can the ologist speak to correlations between recovering from addiction and suicide?

The Other Maya

Ohhhh my gorsh. SAME. Not to be the overshare queen but I was on a carrousel of antidepressants as a teenager and all of them had some degree of increased self harm, and the biggest issue meds also kind of shut me off during self harm episodes - by which I mean would black out and have no memory of what happened. Which is very, very scary. I'm lucky to be alive. (Which is why I would never tell someone to get medicated, personal damage) So I'm interested to know if our expert knows these answers! Also, if you're reading this and you identify with it, please follow your healthcare providers' guidance and if they don't listen to you or don't give you the care you need find a new provider but don't ever, ever, ever believe that you aren't worth helping or that there isn't help for you because you're freaking beautiful and there is help and you deserve it. And also don't stop your medication without supervision. Seriously. Do not.

Karen Wells

totally agree with you, Lizzz

Kait

Also thinking of the stats I’ve heard about suicide rates with young queer Americans and would be grateful for any suggestions on how to prevent it and support queer kids/everyone

Chelsea and her dog Charlie

What is the science behind many drugs that help with depression having a side effect of suicidal thoughts?

Chelsea and her dog Charlie

This is maybe dumb, but when I’m in a bad place, sometimes I’ll watch Taskmaster episodes on YouTube (NZ season 2 is my favorite) - I can’t help but laugh even when I rewatch old episodes, which can help in the moment. I hope you find some peace as you work through the tough times ♥️

Amanda Thorpe

Dear Allie, I work in a specialist neuro-rehab hospital for people with acquired brain injury and complex presentation. Last year, we had several patients whose brain injury aetiology was suicide attempt. I wrote a reflective case study on the experience as a health care professional working with these clients to try and untangle some of the complex emotions and questions that came up when working with one of these clients that has recently been published in the Brain Injury Journal. I am curious to know if/how delivery of care "in the patient's best interests" is addressed in the States (I am in the UK) with regards to treatment escalation planning. Also, is there is any difference in consideration when the attempted suicide is deemed 'impulsive' vs. 'planned' suicide. Finally, I would like to know if there is any specific support offered to family members of patients with acquired brain injury as a result of suicide attempt that is different to the support offered to family members of say, ABI from a road traffic accident. Many thanks, Amanda

Chelsea and her dog Charlie

Can we explore a bit of the sociological/cultural perspective of suicide? I’m thinking about how some religions consider it to be a sin, but in the past it’s been used as a sacrifice for others / martyrdom / way to express an opinion or move an idea forward/express dissent

Deli Dames

What are your thoughts on usage of AI for suicide prevention chatbots?

Kylie Smallenberg

Thank you so much for that response! I'm really interested to see what the ologist says as well!!

Mark McPhillips

What are the best things to say or do when a loved one—or a stranger for that matter—is going through an episode and potentially thinking of going through with it?

Magdalena Castillo

Kind of a sad question but…are we the only mammals that commit suicide? Are there any examples of suicide in the animal kingdom?

Eating Spaghetti in Bed

How do we move forward (not “move on”) to celebrate and let go with love when a dear one departs in this way? It hurts so badly and feels so scary. Also terminology counts to me. “Died by” v “committed” is everything. There was no crime here, only a need to be free. ❤️

Eating Spaghetti in Bed

Death doulas are INCREDIBLE. We as a species need so much more of this way of life ✨

Cheryl W

🙏🙏🙏

Eating Spaghetti in Bed

I’m blown away by this outstanding question. I’d love to know also. Wow.

Robert G Audet

Are TRE (Trauma Releasing Exercises), Somatic Experiencing, Somatic Breathwork and similar somatic tools useful to assist in down regulating the stressed nervous system and allowing a more balanced vagus nerve response? Thank you for your work.

Mckaylia Marshall

1. When someone attempts to end their own life and ends up surviving, what’s generally their reaction? Do they feel regret or do they want to try it again? 2. Can you speak to the cultural differences of suicidality? Are there certain cultures or countries where it’s incredibly uncommon or unheard of?

Beck

How much correlation is there between murder and suicide? Are people with frequent suicidal ideation more likely to be homicidal than others? - a survivor of the murder part of an attempted murder-suicide Edit: I don't mean this question to be stigmatizing! Obviously most people who feel suicidal are not homicidal. I've been suicidal too and never thought about murdering anybody but some people do both and some people do one or the other and I'm curious how often that overlaps and why.

Kimberly

As the person on the other who feels like they need to constantly be watched, and knows how draining it must be to see my name pop up on the phone, I would love to hear this answer too. For both sides. Thank you for asking this question.

Larissa

First time question answer - why does PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder) come with so many frequent thoughts of suicide?

Aurel Chaoul Pelleg

Anything about the effects of 'losing the will to live' on physiological systems?

Amelie Lu

I've repeatedly heard people say that people attempting suicide just want attention. As someone who attempted suicide a couple of years ago myself, because I genuinely felt that I could not go on with life, I find this very hurtful. Could you give us statistics on how many people actually do (or maybe fake?) something like this for attention? Also, to anyone out there feeling like THEY can't go on: Yes, you can. Things do get better, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

Sonjabird

What is up with the pervasive judgement that suicide is the most selfish thing someone could do? To me it is our most basic right- to live or not to live.

Meagan Walker

Yes to this! I would love to know how a unlikely-to-be-lethal cry for help differs from a true desire to unalive oneself.

Meagan Walker

How often do folks with training in suicide prevention fail to see the impending suicide in family members? I volunteer on a SA support line where we are trained to ask people if they are considering killing themselves if we hear trigger words, but it did not occur to me to ask my cousin that direct question before he died.

Meagan Walker

For folks who really, really don’t want to deal any more - how do we honour both the person’s ultimate control over their own continued existence and the fact that there is a potential solution to every problem, even if we don’t know it or can’t access it?

Jeremy Hakes

I second this. No one asked to be here. Who am I to say they have to stay if they don't want to be here?

Sikwani Dana

credit goes to tiktok for the term lol ❤️❤️❤️

Sikwani Dana

this is really interesting and kind of the opposite of how my brain works when i am in a dark place. My brain is like “well it’s gonna be traumatic but i want to make it the least i can for friends and family” so i would think about a random day that doesn’t mean anything so i “don’t ruin” a day that is suppose to be special like a holiday. or i would chose a location that no one ever goes to

Natalie Lanzatella

Why do some brains have suicidal thoughts? Why would evolution lead us to have brains that did this? It doesn't seem favorable. Or is it a side effect of other favorable traits? Thanks Alie for all you do!

John Kanter

Setting aside the belief that we have a magical soul floating around in space (not my belief), it seems reasonable to assume that suicide results from a variety of conditions and diseases in the brain. Are scientists looking at pathways that are specific to each of these diseases/conditions rather than lumping them with the terminal result?

Kim G

FTQA: I'm curious about times when suicide is a political statement or act of war (e.g., kamikaze pilots, self-immolation, etc.). How is that thought process the same or different from those who die by suicide in the more "typical" sense?

Between Dumplings

I'm so sorry Lisa. With the first anniversary right around the corner, I'm sure this brings up some acute feelings. I hope you can comfort each other. It sounds like he did a good job hiding his decision. Very sorry for your pain. His remainder is in you.

Vita Trincali

What’s with all the warnings associated with pharmaceuticals? “Tell your doctor if you have thoughts of suicide while taking this medication “ etc

Between Dumplings

While I believe most suicidal ideation is due to a host of factors including illness, excruciating life circumstances, depression, disease, brain chemistry, or some combination of these; I also think there should be room for the option to be respected when someone has come to a rational decision that the choice is right for them. This seems like it's rarely a part of the conversation. Shouldn't it be?

Between Dumplings

That is horrific. Did not know of that awful ableist "care" issue. To not treat pneumonia?! WTAF.

Sonjabird

Ooh, good question!

Samuel Pate

Hey Alie! Coincidentally, we were visiting Niagara Falls, CA yesterday and someone jumped from the Table Rock shopping area into Horseshoe Falls. Fortunately, we did not witness the event - just the aftermath.

Samuel Pate

My wife and I both have family experiences with suicide. Her grandfather committed suicide successfully (she was 11 y.o. at the time), and my older brother attempted suicide when he was 15 y.o. - albeit unsuccessful. He survived with traumatic brain injury and lived until he was 73 y.o.

Anouchka Louisa

First time questioner: this topic radiates through me as a parent with a child who has the diagnosis of severe depression/anxiety, self harm, suicidal ideation and acknowledged two attempts. Among all the information out there - I have yet to hear someone talk practically about how the parent/caregiver can understand and manage the ungraspable pain and shock that comes with their child's diagnosis. It's as if the worst has already happened, with the threat of unknown levels of darkness to follow. How can a parent/caregiver not reflect despair and anxiety back to their child? Are there studies that point to specific kinds of communication (not only verbal) and actions that can strengthen trust, safety and understanding between parent and child?

Evan Davis

Is there a chance of the assisted suicide pods coming more into fruition?

Smorgindorg

Hello! I was wondering about the prelevance of suicide: is it more common in rich or poor countries, war torn countries or just nowadays?

Richard Pruen

As someone with suicidal ideation at times, it literally strikes out of the blue, I’ve acted on it 2 times only, and luckily I’m still here. I just wonder how common it is and if there’s anything new research wise on why humans have this tendency?

Madison Woofter

I would like to ask your thoughts about doctor assisted suicide, do you think it could be a viable option along with other advanced in the medical field going forward?

Toni Carlton

How do we balance a person’s autonomy to choose and act on ending their life? When can we deem someone ‘well’ or ‘unwell’ enough to make this decision? What are non-western cultural views on suicide?

Gwen Kelly

What is meant exactly by “ideation” when talking about “suicidal ideation”? It seems from my own experience as well as others, there’s a whole range of different kinds or types of ideation, like intrusive thoughts that just seem to pop into your head for no reason, vs. depressive thoughts, like “I don’t like existing, I don’t want to do this anymore”? What about the range of “intent” like - contemplating vs planning? It seems like there are lots of different kinds (and causes) of suicidal ideation. I think some clarification would help.

Gwen Kelly

In addition to being a mental health issue, it seems to me that there are a LOT of social and cultural factors like, country, region, race, class, sex, religion, tribal identity, sexuality, that really do have an impact on someone’s options. Without economic resources or opportunities, without social supports, without the social and cultural possibilities to really change your situation, I can at the very least understand why it can feel like suicide is the only way out. And in some extreme cases, it might be. For example, I’m thinking of the Farmer suicides in India when farmers have been forced into debt by companies like Monsanto, and after a year (or more) of crop failures, they have unimaginable debts, and though they might have social or family support, they have few viable economic options. I’d love to hear the guest discuss the social factors beyond the mental health issues and diagnoses. Also, in “Western”/Judeo-Christian cultures have stigmatized suicide first as a mortal sin, second as a crime, and on top of it all, pathologized suicidality as a mental disease/disorder. I don’t want to say that there is *nothing* wrong with wanting to unalive yourself, but maybe all the stigma and pathologizing people isn’t helpful?

Mary Lobdell

FTQA: Is voluntarily stopping eating and drinking (VSED), in the context of ending one’s life in the face of devastating, eventual fatal illness, considered to be a form of legal suicide? What are the considerations of VSED relative to suicide?

Gwen Kelly

I’m curious about the concept of cultivating creativity as a way out of, or at least to ameliorate, suicidality? Art therapy? Creative writing? Is there any good research on this subject? P.S, I’m pretty sure that suicidality is a word, even tho spell check tells me it isn’t. I think of it as meaning the state of feeling like you want to unalive yourself.

Kait Sweeney

How have rates changed over the years for LGBTQ+ folks? How effective are projects such as It Gets Better at preventing queer teen suicide?

Kait Sweeney

I don't mean it to sound stigmatizing. It's something that I think about as trans adult reflecting on my childhood/upbringing.

Meagan Walker

Yes! I ponder this a lot as well.

Meagan Walker

Are there differences between suicide motivation in youths vs older people? I’m under the impression that youths don’t have context to know that many problems are temporary, while older folks get worn down by dealing with the problems.

RegularGuy

What are the top (maybe 3) things people can do to help prevent suicide?

Daniel Opdahl

Are suicide survivors more or less likely to attempt again? Why?

Pelvis Resley

Over the last decade or so, preventing suicide has been one of the stated goals of several gun safety / gun control laws enacted by states. Has there been any data that shows whether or not these laws have had an impact on suicide rates in the states that have enacted them?

Ross E

Once ideation occurs, is it always prominent when/if new bouts of depression come up.

Tania Magic Fingers

Oh such an emotive subject which we know Ali, you will present with love and care. It's amazing how different cultures/times view the subject. Not all cultures stigmatise suicide. Some even see it as honourable. I hope the ologist is aware of the different views on the subject around the world and can share them on the podcast.

Erin Gill

Lost a dear old friend to suicide late last year. My brain keeps saying 'he died of depression'. All seemed to be well and I fear he had made a plan some time ago and was at peace so nobody saw it coming. How can we see the signs and intervene?

hashel(ology)

FTQA What distinguishes a terminally ill patient’s choice of euthanasia and one of a suicidal person’s to kill themselves? How do we respect someone’s decision to end their physical suffering but not one of emotional suffering?

Brian Scott

New BFF, first question. You are an inspiration, Alie! I went through a very tough period of depression, but suicide was never on the table. What sends someone over the edge, or are depression and suicide not linked?

Jennifer Froh

Wow. Thank you for aharing your experiences. Im sorry for you and your partner and wish you peace. That makes a lot of sense the way yiu phrase it. Thank you

Olivia Lester

Is there a first recorded suicide? First recorded suicide note? How do we know if animals are dying of suicide (i.e. v. self-sacrifice)? How long does it take for assisted suicide to administer (are there diff. methods?)?

ValBeListening

What leads people to choose a public suicide?

Paige Moreth

*FTQA. There are websites that talk openly about suicide, including comparing methods. They seem to have suicide prevention potential but I'm certain if they went undermoderated could make things seriously worse. What are your thoughts on those? Should there be policies about them, should they be illegal? Is there an element of harm reduction that can be taken from these and used in more official settings?

Felipe Jimenez

For someone who has never had them, they sound completely strange to me: suicidal thoughts.. where do they come from? How can you explain them?

Marc Rubin

Apologies in advance for sounding insensitive, but is there any argument FOR suicide? When is it justified? Old age? Terminal illness? Why? Some philosophers, like Nietzsche, consider suicide as the ultimate expression of freedom and that committing suicide actually takes courage. Also, please do an episode on veterinary gerontology with Dr Ashley Portmann of Home Together Vet. https://www.instagram.com/p/CxNqumNulpt/?igsh=cm14NWRjZDVwYTMx

Agata Kajewska

What about person's right to decide on their own ending. Not talking about the euthanasia even but the fact that failed attempts to take ones life often ends with the person being submitted against their will to a mental health institution, kept in separation and their civil rights and independence may be taken away from them. But also, for terminally I'll person, in my country one cannot simply decide to stop their treatment as the hospital/doctor or even the family members may go to court and ask for a their rights being temporarily suspended so they are forced to get the the treatment or surgery anyway.

Hezy Anholt

When I graduated from vet medical school in 2013, some *possibly* well-meaning professor got up in front of us and announced that by our 10 year reunion, at least one of us would have 'successfully committed suicide'. And he was right. I'm curious as to why some professions see more suicide (vets are 4x more likely to die from suicide than the general population, and 2x more likely than dentists or doctors). While discussions has focused more on stresses of the profession, I wonder if it has more to do with the personalities that the profession attracts. Ie., do some professions self-select for people with more suicide potential?

Paulina Krasińska-Sroka

When are thoughts about death just thoughts and when do they need medical intervention? How's that determined? I know about pre-suicidal syndrome but it seems a bit vague to me - it seems to be about noticing symptoms worsening and that's not (in my mind) something that psychiatrist or therapist can judge objectively, especially if it's a first time patient. I've seen professionals react to suicidal ideation all over the spectrum - from one extreme to the other. For example, I had a new therapist refuse to take me as a patient because they thought I should be locked in a hospital for a while for my own good; and I had therapists barely acknowledge the fact that I'm thinking about death 🤷‍♀️ And it happened in the span of three months! So who was right? How did they decide where I land with my condition? I personally don't think I'm seriously suicidal (just depressed), even though I fit most of the criteria for pre-suicidal syndrome.

Amy Copler

FTQA: As a friend of someone who has off and on felt suicidal, how can I best check in with them and offer support without seeming pushy?

Camila Gamino

Why is it a shameful thing to be suicidal or have suicidal thought? Why isn’t assisted suicide an option in the US? I’ve known I wanted to die since I was 12 and still fully believe I will commit suicide at some point. What is stopping me? Legal repercussions?

Robin Stumbo

any tips/scripts for asking for support when in a crisis? also what research has been done on the relationship between suicidality and the menstrual cycle? pmdd is out to get me for real...

Kelly Dooling

What research has been conducted on and what are the legalities of physician assisted suicide for terminally ill patients?

Between Dumplings

There are so many reasons to despair and while that part may be rational, one should still have capacity for joy, for love. If you cannot connect with those feelings you may have dysthymia- it’s sort of low-grade fever of depression. Not an urgency to act but a lack of joy and wonder. Sometimes even lack of anger , like someone put a muffler on emotions or turned the volume down to 1. That is worth exploring with a professional. There are still bright, beautiful things coinciding with the awful. If you’re accessing those then good time to talk to someone. Maybe a good time to remind ourselves mental health is health. As a society we’re not great at that message.

Nick worth

This is more or less exactly what I was going to ask. I have many times felt like I would be ok if I went to sleep and never woke up, but I’ve never actively thought about unaliving myself. Where does that fit in the ideation spectrum? How concerned should I be?

Nick worth

My take on this as a person with low level ideation and knowing people who have died by suicide is that it can cause a lot of pain to people around you, none of which you have to deal with. Obviously very different for assisted suicide where things are openly discussed and planned, but to spring it out of the blue is VERY hard on everyone except you. Not saying the stigma is warranted, but it seems clear to me why it is perceived this way.

Nick worth

I am curious about any psychological overlap between suicide and drug addiction. I see a lot of heavy addiction where I live in Vancouver and it often looks like slow motion suicide to me, espacially in the age of fentanyl…

Nick worth

More questions: is the fact that death by suicide affects more men universal? Does it change by culture? Do more men die because more men try, or are men just more likely to be successful?

the ren you know

Why is suicide considered "bad", is it a evolutionary/biological anomoly or does it have more to do with society and or religion?

Dillon S.

Why don’t we normalize having suicidal thoughts? Everyone typically thinks about death but as soon as we mention it in conversation the mood changes. WHY ALL THE TABOO???

Levin Dotimas

First time question asker here! Whenever people say that suicide is selfish because of the people that are left to mourn that person, it never sat right with me, but I could never articulate why I felt that way. Am I correct in thinking that it’s not a selfish act? How do I respond to comments like that?

Alyssa Arguijo

FTQA!! Lost my dad to suicide. I’ve always wondered if he planned it or if it was an impulsive thought in a dark day. Is impulsive suicide more common than planned suicice? Is there a way for us to even know that?

Carleen DH

Lost a friend to suicide years ago. Still kind of hits me when thinking about this - I would never have expected it of them. When is suicide a ransom intrusive, somewhat theoretical, thought, and when does it become something that needs intervention? Would a suicidal person be willing or even see a need to seek/accept intervention? Is a person who commits suicide already prone to those thoughts or can it come on randomly? Is a traumatic event needed to trigger them?

Linda

I'd like to ask that listeners to not use the phrase "I'm going to shoot myself if _____" (and they say something trivial like I have to clean up dog barf again). While most people are desensitized to this phrase, it can be a trigger for people who have had loves ones who shot themselves or people who have contemplated suicide. Let's not joke around about suicide.

Kathleen Sachs

What are the Oologist’s thoughts on Death with Dignity laws in states such as Oregon, which are intended for people with a terminal illness. I currently have a family member who is on hospice and is slowly dying from Parkinson’s Disease and dementia. I can’t help thinking that, should I be diagnosed with something similar, I don’t want to have to suffer that way.

Kristina

I’ve lived with suicidal ideation almost daily since I was 13 or so. I’ve lost many loved ones to suicide or overdose, so if my brain isn’t thinking of my own death, it’s thinking of everyone else’s death. I have BPD and CPTSD, I’m 29 now but I’ve come to try and accept suicidal thoughts are just what I’ll live with forever, and learn how to deal with them in therapy. Is it possible to change the neuropath ways in my brain that have been on this same trail for so long?

Harper Atlas

(FTQA) I think about this so often! My parents are taking care of a friend of theirs in his mid-90's who attempted suicide a few years ago. He so clearly does not want to be alive anymore (and frequently says so), but he's being kept alive through medications and a feeding tube. At what point is it unethical to keep someone alive against their will?

Miranda Panda

My dad committed suicide and while he didn't leave a note, I have always assumed he thought it was what was best for everyone (even though he would have been wrong), so no, I don't think it was selfish now, despite feeling that way for many years.

Alli B

This. ☝️

Alli B

Some survivors of suicide attempts have expressed immediate remorse (Kevin Hines, who survived a jump from the Golden Gate, for one example). What causes that regret after planning for so long in some cases, and are regret or survival instinct credited for living through the attempt?

Alli B

I 100% agree. It’s not funny.

Gregory Darden

There is a lot of talk of military suicide. Does suicide occur in this population more than the general population, or does it track with similar civilian demographics?

Hope

active duty military here and same question, we see it a lot it seems like

Hope

can you explain the difference between the thoughts like “i just don’t want to exist” and thoughts of more directly harming yourself? is the root of both types of thought the same?

Thedorknextdoor

I was curious to know what the ologist’s thoughts are about the changing language around suicide as a whole. For example, I’ve noticed that these days people will say phrases like “died by suicide” when referencing it. Was there a particular moment/window of time when this language shift began?

Nathan Marion

Is there research to suggest the most effective ways to prevent suicide? Is it different for those with a previous attempt? Are there warning signs that are most important to look out for? Differences for those who identify as male vs female?

Ken

If a survivor is someone who lost a loved one, what is the word for someone who survived an attempt?

Outofdoors

How has the rate of Suicide changed over time and do you see any societal changes correlate with that rate? As a child of a parent who took their own life, I saw many societal themes in my dads suicide - outdated perspectives on masculinity as the “provider”, ageism, mental health, and lack of fulfillment at work. It seems that an inability to find a healthy fit in the world we’ve created leads to so many of our collective ailments as a society. Really appreciate the light on this topic Allie and Ologist!!!

Spencer Aldridge

What have we learned about suicide education and awareness, especially with the rise of social media and media?

Ellen Durnal

Is there anything I can do, as a regular person, to try to support suicide prevention efforts?

Marvette Fudge

When/ why was suicide seen as a sin, or denounced from a religious perspective? Was there ever a time when any cultures viewed suicide as just another form of natural death?

Kelsy Simpson

Great question! I'd like to hear the answer to this as well!

Kelsy Simpson

I'm obviously not the Ologist but no, you shouldn't feel guilty. You shouldn't ever feel guilty for feeling unwell, mentally or physically. You deserve the space you need to heal and grow and that space should be free of guilt. Sincerely, someone who miraculously survived and has had time to retrospectively look at and learn from the experience. Sending love & healing ♡

Kelsy Simpson

What is the impact of financial well being on risk for suicide? I know there's a lot of resources available for folks actively in crisis but what can be done to prevent people from getting to crisis levels?

Kelsy Simpson

Yes! I was going to ask this also!

Taylor campbell

What do we know about suicide trigger warnings and their effectiveness?

Cindy Williams

First Time Question Asker, but have listened to nearly every single episode in the year I’ve been listening. I’ve had suicidal thoughts my entire life, so this one is close to home. I am so deeply interested in learning more about why my brain is like this. 2 questions for the Ologist: 1) Are there really specific times of day or year where suicides happen more often? And if so, have experts/researchers been able to figure out the root causes of this phenomenon? 2) Have any studies been done on social media’s impact on suicidal thoughts and tendencies? The theory of social media is to help better connect people, but I’ve found it to be a very isolating experience, personally. Are we able to definitively say whether these platforms are helping us, or hurting us?

BeckytheSassySeagrassScientist

I would Love to know about de brain chemicals associated with suicide or suicidal thoughts. My phone so small. Is it related to chronically high levels of cortisol or something else?

BeckytheSassySeagrassScientist

What's the deal with antidepressants and other medications impacting likelihood of suicidal thoughts? It seems like a particularly bad side effect for antidepression medications. I've heard that anti-depression medications can give people the motivation to actually do something, but that kind of feels like it could be a myth.

Lea Rubinstein

how do we talk about it in a “safe” way? As a lifelong secret suicidal ideologist with a healthy relationship to the mental health field, it’s ingrained to NOT SAY those words because you’ll be- put away/ locked up/ flagged. But it seems normalizing those thoughts takes away their power and most important it potential

Fiona Dolphin

FTQA: people always say to “watch out for your happy/strong friends” when it comes to suicide. If a person appears outwardly happy or okay, what are warning signs someone should look for that they’re actually suicidal? I know someone who committed suicide that seemed really positive and enthusiastic about life and it came as a shock when I learned they took their life.. I can’t help but wrack my brain for warning signs I must have missed in our interactions… but I can’t think of anything.

Peyton Nill

This is a great question I have always wondered this!!

Peyton Nill

Can the ologist talk about the relationship between self-harm, long suicide, which is long-term self-harm to oneself that causes prolonged death, and suicide?

Peyton Nill

Is suicide actually “contagious” - happening in waves in communities? If we know that asking someone if they’re suicidal doesn’t plant the idea for them (since they already are suicidal or are not, someone asking about it isn’t going to be the first time they heard about it as an option) why does suicide contagion happen? COROLLARY: what is effective to prevent suicide contagion? Do the school assemblies, social posts, and local news blitzes after the fact saying “talk to someone if you’re sad” actually help reduce future attempts?

Peyton Nill

I’d LOVE to hear the ologist’s perspective of the ethics of suicide. What do they think of the perspective that suicide itself an individual exercising bodily autonomy, and the real tragedy is that someone felt so miserable that they didn’t see a way out other than death?

Peyton Nill

As someone who had untreated clinical depression for the first 22 years of my life and just in the last few years got diagnosed and treated, I empathize with the hopelessness and the misery of depression and suicidality most. Living day to day like that, to me, is the real heart break

Fred Peter

At what point does one intercede and how?

Kristen C

No question, but: I help run the national 9-8-8 service for Canada - very excited to listen to this episode and send to my work colleagues!! (Side bar, fellow Canadians...you can get free stickers/magnets/posters for work or school or community places to share info about 9-8-8 and suicide intervention/prevention at 988.ca/get-involved and sorry to Alie for this shameless plug!!!).

Lea Rubinstein

p.s. am I like on a list now or something? Lol 😹😿👍✌️

Kathleen Sachs

Update: My dad died on August 31st, 2024 from dementia and Parkinson’s Disease. It was not an easy death. Also, would you be willing to do an episode on hospice in the future? There’s two great hospice nurses making content on YouTube and TikTok. They were a great resource when my dad was dying. Check out Hospice Nurse Julie and Hospice Nurse Penny. I also recommend the book, “Nothing to Fear,” by Julie McFadden.