A litte house-cleaning (Patreon)
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Posts like these are always difficult for me to write, because it means opening up to a lot of people I don't really know all that well, or at all. Considering I'm a very private person who find it difficult to open up to even those closest to me, it's extra difficult.
These past months I have been very lacking in communicating with you all, both on Discord and Patreon messages, and my "social media presence" has been zero. This is of course not great when you run a Patreon, and have a lot of people with a lot of questions, and you end up with a bunch of people wondering what's going on, why I'm not talking.
Now, when I become very stressed and things start piling up, I tend to retreat into myself as a self preservation tactic. I check my email less and less frequently, I disable "Start on boot" in Discord, and gradually I slowly start to fade away into my own obscurity.
Which is great. For a little while.
Then it starts to add even more stress, because now I start to stress about not being around to answer questions, or friends getting annoyed because I'm no longer around, and I'm suddenly in this vicious circle of retreating deeper and deeper while at the same time stressing more and more about it.
It takes a lot of conscious effort for me to snap out of this vicious circle, but I am now finally at that point, and... while I'm writing this I look to the left of my screen and see way too many unread Patreon messages that need to be answered and I again start to feel the anxiety building up as pressure across my chest. Enough is enough, though :D
So I want to apologise to you all for not having been a great Patreon host lately, but I hope to get back on track, and while this post isn't written to gather sympathy from you all, it is here to apologise, and to help me get back on track and keep me accountable to my own words.
What happens now? I'll take a look at those messages, reply to the ones that look most urgent right now, and get back to working on finishing up the next release. February is a short month!
Thank you for sticking around, and I hope you all have more productive coping mechanisms for handling stress than I do.
