Week 292! (Page 469 Script) (Patreon)

THIS MARKS PAYMENT FOR THE WEEK OF 3/8-3/14.

Alright, here's the first script update for March, for page 469.

It would've been really easy to write Kale having an inner monologue about figuring out exactly what Lucy meant in the clue she gave him in the previous page, as well as to have him audibly respond to Fox Kale's banter and goading. Kind of the thing you'd see in more shounen anime style writing I think. I actively tried not doing that though by having Kale stay quiet both outwardly and inwardly, no thought bubbles of him repeating Lucy's advice or replies to Fox Kale's taunts. Generally when I have time to think about it, I do much prefer writing that has characters show their thoughts and actions rather than saying them, and having Kale just stand back up and wait silently for Fox Kale's next attack demonstrates that a bit. Kale looking visibly nervous yet determined while focusing on Fox Kale tells more about him in a more interesting way than him saying it to himself or to Fox Kale. Telling instead of showing is certainly a trap a lot of people fall into, myself included, cause it's pretty easy and almost natural to write that way, to explain to the reader how you're thinking your characters are feeling and thinking. I think it's much better to do something like this instead, though. It's also less dialogue obviously and maybe even less panels to write/draw so that's a plus, too.

Also, the final panel of Kale poking Fox Kale in the gut is meant to be a direct allusion to the way Kale and Fox Kale's first fight "ended" way back when, where Kale fell back with Fox Kale looming over him, but Kale managed to lift his saber up to stab Fox Kale through the gut. That moment was always meant as more of an accident or a lucky break for a very desperate and confused Kale rather than anything intentional. This moment is meant to show something of a growth and change in Kale to have the ability to deliberately dodge Fox Kale's attack and intentionally jam his saber into Fox Kale's stomach this time. It doesn't pierce Fox Kale this time either, just bending like fencing swords tend to, alluding a bit also to how this time they're not trying to kill each other and are "allies" rather than enemies.