It's getting worse. (Patreon)

This note is very important, for all of you who maybe are interested in me as a person a little bit. 

Hey my dear Patrons. It's been over three weeks since I drew something. And it's not even because I don't want to or I don't have motivation. I do. And I want to go back to drawing and I have MANY amazing ideas, but many things hapenned lately in my life and I'm absolutely devastated emotionally. I'm not even surprised that many people decided to leave my Patreon page because of inactivity. I know damn well that I fucked up. But things are getting out of my control. I'm tired of doing everything. helping everyone around me while at the end, I'm getting left alone with every single stuff. Is this so much to ask for.. a little ''I'm proud of you'' from a person I love? Or anything like ''How do you feel, did you slept today?'' Literally anything. Living with mentally unstable person - being not well myself is hard as fuck. But I did this to myself and I have to work with it. 

I want to go back to drawing. I'm trying every day. Because of my inactivity I struggle with even buying food. Because Patreon is my only one source of income. So I know very well I have to get myself together. I don't know how because in real life I'm alone with everything. And I somehow have to deal with this everything. 

My suicidal thoughts are back, because of what is happening in my life lately, because of some people in real life and.. I have to tell you. I'm tired. I want to be able to draw for you again, but I don't know how. 

Give me motivation. Things you think maybe I should draw? 

Sorry, I fucked up. I'll try to fix it.