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Additional thoughts I had, working on this episode. We all know that a romance is (mostly) about how a couple meets, how they change each other, how their lives are changed, etc., when they're together. A Patron / reader once asked me: "Well, what's so special about poppy? Why does it have to be her, to cause Tora to change?" And this is a question I often ask myself. I don't think, personally, that Poppy "is not like the other girls" (I personally am not a fan of that sentiment). She eats junk food, like many of us. She's lazy, sometimes, like many of us. She's...JUST like the other girls.However, for Poppy, and in the same vein, for many of us out here in the real world, I do think there will always be that one person, to whom we (as an individual person), are "not like the rest of them". In this case, for Poppy, it's Tora.But this still begs the question - what's so special about Poppy? With many episodes I work on, this is a question I have at the back of my mind. Could someone else take the place of Poppy, in Tora's eyes? To answer this, I turned the question back to myself: could someone else...take the place of my hubby, in my eyes? What about vice-versa?And I think the answer is - yes, most definitely. I think most of us will understand that there are no absolutes, and no guarantees in life.The fact is, though, that there was a sequence of events - very long, complex ones - that have lead to where hubby and I are, today, at this very specific point in our relationship. A sequence of events that would unlikely be recreated by anyone else in the same manner (and I say this in the most logical, objective manner, with no sentimentality attached). Likewise, I think, the same logic applies for Poppy and Tora.So this episode, other than to narrate Balthuman and Tora's story, was also to explore what would happen if you took Poppy OUT of the equation. And as I worked on the episode, the answer couldn't be clearer, to me. Instead of asking what it is that Poppy brings to the table, this episode was all about what it's like, without Poppy. And I think in this episode, we can all see quite clearly what Tora's life is like, and would be like, without Poppy's presence. Dark. Depressing. Gloomy. And so much more.So going back to my original point - I think, to me, this episode answered the "what's so special about Poppy" question quite clearly. You don't always see what you have when it's around you, and sometimes you need to take that thing away to really grasp what it is you'll be missing out on. Anyway, that's just my random post episode musing. Maybe it's not even that deep, after all 🤣Thanks for reading my thoughts, and as always, please add in your own if you have any <3

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Comments

Stephanie

Thanks for this - I had warm thoughts towards Poppy since the first episode, but fell in love when seeing her eat a doughnut while watching watching Mr. Lam's interview and wanting pancakes for supper 🧡❤💛💖💚💙💜

Yolanda Miguez

Absolutely. That exact sentiment was explained in the mini-series Lost in Austen. It's not usually a dramatic flash of lightning, but smaller variable circumstances. That's what makes love so fragile & precious.

Tara Taylor

I think one of the big things about Poppy that turns Toras head is the fact that she takes him for who he is, not what he is. She isnt afraid to yell at him, or tell him off. Tora has a reputation and everyone around Ares Street knows it. Poppy is a simple country girl who sees people for who they are. I dont think she is that afraid of him, and he likes that. He can be himself around her and know that she accepts him for who he is not what his reputation is or what he looks like.

Rosemary Willow

That's how you know what makes someone special to you. How empty, alone, or unfilled life can seem. Ofc it's possible to be happy with out someone else, and it's healthy to learn how to be alone, but this is what makes love worth enduring all the good and bad - the richness and vividness someone else can bring to your world. I'm so excited to see how poppy and Tora both come together and effect the other and how they intertwine their lives into one 💖

Selene Silverwolfe

This chapter of the story really drew me in and made me so curious about Tora's back story. Getting to understand why he is the way he is and seeing how he's changing due to Poppy's influence on him is fascinating.

Nina Castelmonti

The energy inside of us. Its like magnets. Poppy and Tora are like magnets, dancing in a universe of energy. With his senses and bodys involved in something too deep for be explained.

Mika Ngamoki

I love this! I feel that Poppy is good for Tora for so many reasons. She's sweet and has an innocence about her but isn't naive and dumb. She is head strong, stubborn and quite independent. She's not clinging to him begging for his attention which I think is pretty realistic......I know from experience that's what drew my bf to me 😂 I think sometimes what makes the difference between for now and potentially forever are small differences that naturally occur in people and maybe that's what's happening with Poppy for Tora. Either way I love seeing their relationship grow and develop, it's nice to have something slow paced and evolving in a way that you'd see in the real world....you know minus all the blood and stuff 😂

Meghan Richardson

That is so well said. I agree wholeheartedly. I also think timing plays a major factor in the “why Poppy?” question. Timing is everything and she happens to come into his life when he needs someone to nurture him and show him what life and love could potentially look like for him. I don’t think he even realizes just how much he needs her right now. I think it’s just like you said though, what would his life be without her in it right now. I think that’s really how people fall in love and choose their person. It’s not “can I live with them?” It’s “can I live without them?”

Nicolette

I LOVE ❤️😍❤️ these authors chat posts and reading your insight and the background behind the episodes. I know you’re incredibly busy, but is it possible for you to have this become a patron extra? It doesn’t have to be every week, but maybe after a defining episode or event? I’ve always been incredibly interested in the behind the scenes and creative process behind art, comics, tv shows, movies, etc... it fascinates me. Hearing your thought process for the episode is beyond amazing, and I can’t get enough. 😉

LizzyLycheeMartini

I just love how u navigate your story. I fall in love after 3rd epi and so on.. Always look forward to new ep and NWSF. 🤭😛

Annie J

I do understand where you are coming from with this and yes, what makes special people in your life special isn't anything special to the eyes of everyone else. It makes them special because they gave you what you needed most at the time. I had a very rocky childhood and teenaged years. When I was 17, I met a friend who accepted me and my weird moods without any question asked. She did nothing special, except allowing me to be myself, which I wasnt allowed at home. I truly believe I wouldn't the person I am today if not for her, her brother and sister. We are still close today and their children call me Auntie Annie. Life is full of these kinda of meetings and I learned that myself had the same kind of effect on some people I met. Some I kept in touch with, some I didnt but I truly believe we meet the people we need to meet when we need to meet them. So for me, Tora needed to meet Poppy when he did, and while she doesn't see the impact of that meeting, you are doing an amazing job at showing it to us. ❤ I truly love it when you give us a behind the scene look, thank you for that. 🥰🥰🥰

Samantha Farnham

Long time fan, first time commenter 😀Thank you for your insight Lily! This episode was a great look into Tora's world. From previous episodes we've seen he has serious reservations about the life he lives. Now that Tora has met Poppy, his feelings about this life seem to be growing. And gosh, why wouldn't they, she is the antithesis of gangdom. She represents everything he's been missing out on his whole life. It will be interesting to see how the anger bulids and when that big catharsis occurs for him.

Myosotis

I consider the couple to be a part of your defense mecanisms. And also a completion of your psyche. As a consequence, there are people that can fit, be that nest you need, and others that actually can't cause they are not reflecting what your soul embodies. So Poppy is one of those persons Tora can be connected with. And that's not so sure there are 100 of people that can balance your psyche deeply. That's possibly why many relationship breaks. Cause it is hard to find out what you truly need. Especially because most of the people don't know truly themsleves, and it's a constant and deep work to be true to yourself. Once you are you discover what completes you. And I am not so sure Tora and Poppy are at that point right now. Not yet. But I am looking forward to it!!

Lou Schoenhult

I think you really put that perfectly. Both Tora and Poppy are just human beings, nothing is set in stone- but a connection made is still something precious. If they bring out the light in each other, that’s definitely worthwhile. I love reading your author’s chats!

Shprinze

I think Poppy is the first girl who not jumping to him, she in one point try to hide. She’s like other girls, but for him it’s unique, the way she acting, the brave is she ( try to save Mr Lam ), it’s like the new world for him. Ok, it’s the way I understand the lines, the interaction between them

Maryjane

I like the story of poppy and tora... ❤❤❤

Yrudea

Even if Poppy isn't "not like the other girls" I think she's for Tora, cause he live in a world different from her own. It's for that he was always thinking "I find the answer about the notebook and I come out from her life". But he has tasted what's life could be with Poppy by his side, and now he can't go back.

Emily Basso

The concept of looking at this chapter without Poppy has me thinking of when you look at art based on its negative space. Sure, you’re eyes are always drawn to the focal point, the part that we attribute beauty to. But it is the negative space that helps identify that main subject. In this case, seeing Tora in his life without Poppy sets the scene for us to see his life devoid of a “focal point”, and it helps make us realize even more, just how beautiful their relationship is together, and what they can create when viewed as one. Side note: My husband is a very snarky man, and I tend to follow his lead, and often one of us will proudly state “I am perfect”, and we always responded “Perfect for me, at least”. We all have many faults, and sometimes, at least for me, we feel we have more than a normal amount. But in life we find that one person who just makes those faults feel a little less like a burden, and a little more of just who you are as a human being. They’re not minimized or “tolerated” (which tolerance can be taken away) but accepted. Cherished. Even if you can’t always love those parts of you yourself. Anyway... this was beautiful. And put a smile on my face this morning. Thanks for sharing 🥰

Vita

MPL is such a breath of fresh air!! You avoid SOOO many of the tired tropes we see in romantic stories and the logic is firmly grounded in what relationships actually look like in real life. Thank you for your insight!! I love reading these after the chapter and gaining more tidbits on the story! I just love that Poppy is just a regular girl and Tora is a precious been stuck in a terrible circumstance 🥺🥰

Lacey Blankenship

Oh, this is refreshing, to get away from the "not like the other girls" and "soulmates" tropes. You're absolutely right. I believe that there are many "the ones" that we could bump into and make happy relationships with. It all depends on our circumstances and timing. If I had chosen to stay in my hometown, chosen a different college, a different job, a different dating website, made any slightly different choice, I probably wouldn't have ended up with my husband. I probably could've been happy with a different person on a different timeline. But we met, we worked on our relationship, we chose each other, and we changed each other (and still choose and change each other every day). Likewise, Poppy and Tora are just average people (well, maybe not average in terms of Tora's occupation. ha) who happened to meet under the right circumstances. Sure, Poppy is special to him now, but if she hadn't happened to pick up that notebook and he didn't have a reason to find that notebook? He probably wouldn't have given her much of a second thought. And if she'd met him under different circumstances and hadn't needed his help with Mr Lam? He'd just be another mafia guy she'd be intentionally avoiding. They would've moved on and found other people. But the circumstances did add up just right, and here they are, choosing each other. And that makes all the difference.

Schkaka

I think you hit the nail on the head.

Rebecca Darby

I love and appreciate these author notes so much! It's really stunning to see the attention and care that go into creating this, thank you for sharing your process, Lily. I love the nuance and the realism, the fully fleshed out characters that aren't just plot devices or cardboard cutouts to meet another character's fantasy. "Yes but why?" continues to be the most interesting question!

Julia G

I agree! Just like the concept of “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, every person who knows us sees us a little differently. The degree of special one person is to another is based heavily on their experiences together, how those experiences have affected them and the unique combination of traits that make up the individual. Poppy has shown Tora selflessness by trying to save Mr. Lam and the cat in that tree. This kind of bravery for the good of another person, determination to do risk herself to help others, it’s so foreign in Tora’s world. Everything is about power and selfish greed. Her behavior and the contrast she is to what he’s used to, the fact that she didn’t “fall at his feet” but also isn’t afraid of him, is what initially pulled him to her (and her ass 😂) and the more he interacts with her the more he learns about this contrasting worldview she has and how she behaves because of it. Quirks that might be annoying to one person, can be endearing to another. Poppy has traits that are “just like other girls” but the combination of traits and degree to which she displays each one is unique to her, it’s a by-product of how her personality and behaviors have been shaped by her life so far. Everyone has the capacity to be brave but not everyone has the same level of bravery and each person has their own idea of what makes an act brave. Risking personal injury to save a cat or risking prison time to carry out an order from your clan boss. As they continue to grow together we’ve seen Tora and Poppy’s degree of certain traits shift a little, Poppy getting more comfortable and bold with Tora and Tora learning to say thank you or the calming affect of the hair tie. You don’t get that with just any person but you do get it with the right person or people. They just happen to be the right person for each other at the time that they met.

Tiffanyyyyy B

OMG i love these author notes! That explanation was everything! I could really feel that empty space she left this episode and it was actually the same for Poppy for a bit before he popped up at her apartment. I noticed she texted him too, indicating for me, she missed him too. You're amazing 👏 👏👏

Jenn

Yes, i agree! I want to believe that what makes a person become “soulmate material” is through growth via experiences together. I love this series so much because my boyfriend was also walking down a path that im glad he didnt end up taking when we first met. Now he is the biggest lovebug and softy to me.

Gizemdrawssometimes

Omg I lovee knowing how the author thinks and feels thank you so much for sharing!!! I still think Poppy is special because she is ordinary but still has so much influence in Tora's life already!!! I think anyone who influences us and allows us to grow in this way is always special to us!

Heather Hutton

I love your commentary on each episode. The question now stands (which we all know will have an answer) now that Tora came down off of the emotional high from Poppy, faced his dismal world, and what it does to him, what will he do? These two things can't coexist. Not long term. And in the previous chapter, he says he wants to delay the inevitable. Which would be releasing the hamster back to her world, returning to the shadows, and surviving. I am sure in his mind on the roof he thought that is what he ought to do. But not what he wants to do. The 🍓 hair tie is a piece of her world, a world he wants to be a part of so badly. Will he go against Vincent for that world? Clearly, it's dangerous, but not just for him. And he knows what they would do to Poppy because of his choices. She would end up like that cherub statute. Its clear people are aware of Poppy, maybe not his feelings, but that Tora put a detail to watch over her. The more people who know your secrets the likelihood of leaks increases. Would Quincy have an issue with Tora harming his father? Tora and Q are close. What would his relationship with Poppy do to that? Would it jeopardise Gyu and his family? I really hope Gyu and he are working on bringing the whole thing down. It would have to be a clean sweep to ensure their lasting safety. The "it's done check the papers" from Gyu and then seeing the paper Vinny had made me think that is exactly what is happening. Which ultimately could be the series of events that has led him to Poppy. He was already working towards ending his life of crime and now he has a sliver of light at the distant edge of the tunnel urging him on. A rescue buoy. It's keeping his head above water but he still has to swim to safety. Our boi isn't afraid of a fight. He knows how to do that. But losing people...I don't think he is prepared, nor would intentionally risk it. Especially not someone who is ignorant of the situation. I can't wait to see how this all plays out. I'm fine rambling.

Alex

That’s a very methodical way of putting it, and yes I agree it’s definitely like the saying you don’t know what you have until it’s gone and you can’t get it back which is somewhat like what’s going on her except he hasn’t exactly lost poppy yet and hopefully he never does. 😅❤️ But yes I agree to you ok a certain extent that it all has to do with timing and how that person presents themselves to you and you to them and 100s of other factors to see if that makes you a compatible match and if things happened differently realistically yes you could find multiple ppl that you are compatible with and usually in life that’s how it goes for most ppl. But I’m also a big believer in fate and things happening for a reason which Is probably kinda silly and cliche im sorry I get it from my mom lol but I do believe that yes you may have to go through afew bad eggs that you were in some kind of way compatible with till you find the one person that is truly meant for you in Every way. Like how poppy is for tora and vice versa. Even though at first glance you would definitely be like no this would not work at all then you look deep into who these ppl are and u discover that they more suitable for eachother than previously thought. Which is pretty darn cool if you ask me. ❤️😊

Angeline

My significant other is the type of guy who was never really interested in girls; I was his first EVERYTHING, which can be frustrating at times. I ask him all the time: why me? So many other girls tried to get his attention. One day he told me, “no one can ever make me feel the way you do. Yes, any woman could take your place, but it wouldn’t be YOU.” So, this sentiment hit home for me. Their love story is so realistic BECAUSE Poppy is just like all of us regular girls. And I think that’s part of the reason Tora is drawn to her — she’s normal, and she’s not trying too hard. He’s never really known any kind of normalcy, poor baby. I can’t wait to see where these two end up! xoxo

Emma Lou

The environment the Tora has been around means he's often around women who are part of that culture as well which he's not particularly fond of, all the women outside that culture who he's engaged have either wanted his number or are scared of him. Poppy is like a little Ray of sunshine that is different to him, That he's not experienced before. I'm sure someone else could have been that too, but Poppy is the one that gave him a chance, treated him like a normal human being rather than some slab of meat or slave.

tambourina

I love this! I’ve always rolled my eyes at “not like other girls”... what’s wrong with other girls?! Girls are awesome! Haha. But to this story, I see Poppy’s outlook on life as her beacon for Tora. Poppy lost both of her parents, not unlike Tora, but she has had the freedom to choose how she copes with her losses. Tora on the other hand, has had ZERO freedom from a young age. He didn’t get to choose his purpose or place in life. Tora shooting to warn instead of kill in this episode shows him exercising a bit of autonomy & we can see how volatile Vincent’s response is...

Dani C

I am so happy I can support your work and I also get an inside look at your thoughts.

Reyne Hoshi

No this was really deep. Thank you for posting this. It truly gives something to the story but also in real life as well. You never know what you have until it's gone.

Miss Luck

Loved this! Life is made up by small moments that lead to the big ones. However, now I am curious of your own story with your hubby! Being a romantic as I am 😂

ᴄʜᴀꜱɪᴛʏ

Personally I’m glad to hear this coming from you, the fact that this isn’t a perfect world is clear enough to see closely, and also to see nothing is everlasting the Fashion of this world passed away within a day or so but that which is true remains unto the end. VERY DEEP AND TRUE SAYING: I personally am surprised you see it openly this way and can actually express it through your characters nothing last forever, feelings changes, thoughts reconstruct, perceptions and mental stability changes along the line with growth, nothing that was build on the selfish gain or lust of others is worth while or long lasting it always comes to an end as a writer and artist not many authors see it this way because it’s far from a reality, meaning the webtoon it’s self. I think your key seems to revolve this off of pure reality of things basically NO SUGAR COATING. So I agree with the aspect, being open to realizing that in order to maintain something it takes hard work and guidance and consistency VERY CONSTRUCTIVE MINDSET FOR YOU TO HAVE and it’s good for you not foreshadowing your comic off of only extreme fantasy BUT FACT BEYOND FICTION 👍 (PS: not trying act like I know you or your set up for your story I just was really surprised in the wording, and enlightenment.)

Darla (Tora’s THOT)

I love this sooooo much!!! My favorite thing you said was there is a sequence of events that took place in order for your hubby to be your hubby. I can completely understand this. Ppl may question why me and my bf are together, we hated each other.... but what ppl don’t realize there are significant things that happen to two ppl that cause their relationship to shift and look at each other differently, in this case, romantically. This is the same with poppy and tora. Ppl can be sooooo shallow thinking- WHY HER!? WHY POPPY!? SHES NOT ALL THAT!!! To TORA- SHE IS ALL THAT!!!!! She’s a sweet, cute, hot curvy girl, who is smart as hell, headstrong, independent, soft, silly, bright, colorful, lively, talented, affectionate, loving, & VIBRANT. He lives in this life of DARK AND GRAY when he’s alone, quite depressing isn’t it? When poppy somehow springs up (strawberry hair tie) it’s THE ONE colorful, silly, little, light hearted thing his has in his life to maybe be that beacon on hope - like hey- maybe there is something in my life I can look forward to now.... SEEING POPPY, the one woman who HAS EVERYTHING I desperately need in my life to feel an ounce of fulfillment. so I’m gonna conclude: POPPY IS ALL THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS and tora needs her in his life!! I LOVE THEM.

Lauren

Man it’s amazing how your “random thoughts” always spark such deep thought! And I hadn’t usually thought of it like you said, but I think it really applies here. Yes, it probably could’ve been any girl, but Poppy was the one whose path crossed his at the train station, and time and time again afterwards. Maybe it was fate, maybe fate doesn’t exist, but they came together and they bring out better sides of each other and I think that’s awesome!

Amber Gesswein

I really enjoy these Author Notes you’ve been doing, they’re thought provoking and give us readers an insight into your own thought process on the story and even just specific episodes. For this specific one, I love how you don’t have the typical “my female protagonist is not like other girls” viewpoint. It makes the story and situations relatable; albeit extreme, but still relatable. But it’s also thought provoking and makes us look at everything from the different colors of the background for both Poppy and Tora and see how they change and blend together both figuratively and actually. You’re doing a beautiful job and I’m SO EXCITED for more of the story as well as for more Author’s Notes!! 💖💖💖

Kathleen

Thank you for the author chat, Lily! I look forward to MPL each week and it never disappoints. It’s great to get some additional insight. I never would have wondered “why Poppy”; I think she is such a great character. She’s strong, but feminine and in an authentic and original way. I’m more likely to wonder why Tora? Poppy is a catch and I am excited to see how they will help each other grow. I already love the side they bring out in each other- Poppy says in the beginning she doesn’t like confrontation but she never backs down to Tora. While I don’t think Tora would ever behave like Poppy’s cheating ex, if she caught him in a compromising position she wouldn’t just walk out. I agree that there can be more than one “soulmate” and I think one of my favorite parts of a relationship are the shared experiences that strength them (true for romantic relationships and friendships). I also loved this week’s episode. One of the things I’ve enjoyed about Tora so far is he is such an onion. He has so many layers. He presents himself differently in different situations and with different people. Up until this meeting with Vincent Tora seems to smoke, cruse, and allow the clan to think he’s “just the muscle”. Obviously those who know who realize he’s so much more. Quincey trusts his feedback on his novels, and Vincent admits he’s more in their meeting. In fact, I wonder if Vincent (although known for being ruthless) would lose such obvious control in front of anyone besides Tora the way he did with the golf club. I started reading MPL because the art is beautiful and detailed, but I’m addicted to it because of how detailed the story and character arcs are.

Christina Agan

Almost as if all the dots are connected? 😉

Christina Agan

in all seriousness, the reason I love Poppy is because I can look at her and say “I can see myself in her.” She is a normal girl. But maybe, for someone like Tora she is extraordinary. She might outwardly be his “type.” Quincey sees that. So maybe physically Tora is into tiny little brunettes with curves and big brown eyes, but she’s just a normal person. But it could be what makes her special is just her willingness to not judge him like a lot of people tend to. I think I’ve commented enough about how much I enjoy your use of color and light and this episode made it PAINFULLY clear what the absence of Poppy would be like for Tora. In fact, the strawberry hair tie is the only thing I see that’s bright and beautiful in the whole episode. For all that Vincent’s house is opulent the objects there are dull in color. Poppy brings warmth, light and life into Tora’s world and to me, it’s so very clear. As always, you’ve done a masterful job, Lily. Thank you.

Alex Aleman

I love this explanation. It makes total sense for so many things. Not just for this story but for life in general. Sometimes we need to be looking at the what if he/she wasn't there and how would the situation look like then.

Ashley

I love this! It reminds me so much of me and my husband. ❤️

Hoi

I think it's a thought that might go through a lot of romantics minds esecially when they're reading works where they're fantasizing and wondering, what if it was someone like me in her shoes? I know I certainly have. Whether the story is fictional or not, sometimes it's fun to play with "what if" scenarios. Your musing is great food for thought. I think the same with my significant other. I don't think in any sense of the word that we are soul mates, but we get along SO well. We argue, we disagree, and have had fights, etc. but for the most part we're care about each other deeply on a human level. However, we met each other at the right points in our lives where 8+ years later, we're still together. Do I think it could have been someone else for either of us? Absolutely! But the story would have been much different

Kat

I really, really appreciate the depth and maturity you bring to this story. I have extremely similar feelings about all of this, from the "not like other girls" stuff (ack) to the "series of events that led to me and my husband being perfectly suited." And frankly, I am as in love with Poppy as I am with Tora. She's a spitfire. She's a wonderful match for him, I think. She is as clever as he is--she has yet to do something stupid that I can't relate to, and yeah she takes risks sometimes but they pay off--and she sees him as far more than just a hot piece of tattooed ass, as most of the other women Tora tends to attract do. For instance, women we've seen previously want his number and talk to themselves about how he's dumb and rich. Poppy is more like a young Alice to Tora. She has made snap judgments about Tora, but when he calls her on it, she apologizes and does better. And she sees him. She looks beyond the outside to his heart, and she gets him. He trusts her enough to show her places like Alice's restaurant. And he, in turn, sees her worth and beauty, appreciates her tiger bentos, and he inspires her to be courageous (like her kissing him, haha). I think they're a wonderful couple. And Tora might be a badass, but Poppy is every bit as much of a badass, and I LOVE how feminine/soft/curvy/sweet she is at the same time. It takes some balls and skill to write these characters so complexly--Lily is neatly sidestepping a tired trope of innocent, whispering virgin and hard, muscled baddie by rendering both Tora and Poppy with such depth. Poppy is more than what people perceive her to be, as is Tora. They both bring good things into each other's lives. Brilliantly done.

Parise Lupercio

I appreciate this so much. To see the light and confidence and good that poppy gives tora is beautiful. This episode did exactly that for me... tora has obviously been through it. His choices in life have brought him down such dark paths and he was raised by people who never really loved him. It’s almost like the first person giving him the opportunity to love them back IS poppy. I think that yes he could love another but I don’t think that he would because she is so special to him for those reasons.. like you said she like everyone one of us, besides what makes us all unique from one another.. but that’s not what makes her special.... I believe tora loves her for for just excepting him, and loving him back. This story makes my heart sing..we all dream that a man and woman like tora and poppy exists for everyone of us. thank you so much, just thank you..

Janoha Novella

"Random post episode musing..." Pssh. It's my favorite kind.

princesahyuuga

I love author chat post! 😍 They're the best! When I read episode 36 I didn't see all of this. Right now the big picture got even better!

Amy Crumbaugh

You are such a QUEEN. I feel the evidence of your storytelling efforts in every chapter. I’ve found myself thinking, on more than one occasion, that it’s amazing how Poppy and Tora’s lives are twisting and turning towards each other, every event bringing them one step closer to being what the other needs. I don’t know if I believe in soulmates anymore, but I believe that they are meant to be in each other’s lives. Also, I’m thinking of a line I read in a book recently: “You don’t have to be special to everyone else. You only have to be special to me.”

Victoria Dias

I looove to hear your thoughts ☺️ People are always trying to find reasons as to why her? But I mean, WHY HIM too? Life is a sequence of events that lead us to our present life and it’s not that well written, we have a LOT of up and downs and aren’t perfect beings, as NOBODY is perfect. The same applies here... people should stop the ‘shoujo’ fantasy that makes the heroine sparks and seem like they’re lifechanging goddess from above lol Even a stranger can somehow change our way of thinking and there’s coincidences everywhere, that’s NORMAL 🙃 it happens to us, why wouldn’t it happen in a comic where the plot is written by a human (a great one btw 🥴) On the other hand, it is your creation so you can make however you’d like and people shouldn’t be complaining about this and that, you have your way of thinking, of drawing, of storytelling, of living, your own culture and values, your own life and you are human and capable of doing things right as well as wrong things 🤷🏻‍♀️ Be yourself, always! Thank you for this (:

Olive S

Your own creator thoughts are the best! Plus, they drive your story so I think you are totally entitled to tell us what you think and /or feel about your babies! I apreaciate you sharing that with us! ❤️❤️❤️

Ruthie

I think Poppy is special because I empathize with Tora. It’s not everyday you find someone who chooses to see past your imperfections AND chooses to see the good in you.

Lauren Hoover

It’s Poppy because to Tora there is only Poppy. She’s his kryptonite.

Amanda Baker

I just want you to know Lily, that these musings from you absolutely make my day! I love to hear where you are coming from, and how you think about the character developments. Seriously, anytime you want to share your thoughts with us, I am here for it 🙌🏻🥰💜

Caitlin Purigraski

I'm not a believer in soulmates. Lily, your comment about could someone else take the place or your hubby and vice versa struck me. I've had that conversation with my hubs before. For us it comes down to choice. We could survive and have a wonderful lives without each other, of that I have no doubt. But I don't WANT to. I love the version of myself that I am with him in my life. He challenges me to figure out what I really want in life and who I really want to be and supports me while I go after it. I see that in Poppy and Tora. They've both been questioning life what they want out of it. The difference in backgrounds/lifestyles is going to bring up way different questions than if  they stuck to their own circles. I'm so excited to see how they choose to deal with that.

Krystal

Poppy is a light. Light in and of itself is not unique. But if it is the only light in a dark place, however small, it changes LITERALLY everything.

Randi Upton

100% all of this. "What makes poppy so special?" I dunno, the same reason so many of us are with our partners. I am in my 30's and have been (off and on) with my kids dad since my early 20's. It has been a rocky road together and not together. Mental illness (me borderline personality, him something I dunno) and substance abuse and anger and hurt and mental abuse and toxic and break up... we always ended up back together. Luckily we both got some help, so I have for the most part stopped self destructing and he is not the emotionally abusive guy he once was. Things are better now. But I know there is nothing special about me, I am one in a million, but he is drawn to me. Btw, im not AT ALL condoning abuse. If you are toxic or your partner is, leave them. It ain't worth it. I spent my 20's chasing love desperately. We were just able to work and get over things, but that does not mean everyone can. If you feel trapped, call 211 and they may be able to help you with resources to get away. There is always a way out, I promise.

saltandcookies

I love when you post your thoughts on episodes like this! It’s always such a pleasure to read and consider!

MollzJJ

You could have a fantastic slice of life story about Poppy that would totally stand on its own. She doesn’t need the romance or Tora to be an awesome character I’d follow. Edit around the Gangster stuff and you’d see a young girl embarking on her new life in the big city. She’s already had key moments that many of us can relate to, including: Ended a LD relationship with HS sweetheart, who is still up to childish behaviors while she’s matured and able to move on. Rented first crappy apartment because that’s all she can afford, but has a great view and hello, it’s in the big city!!! Landed dream job and the boss gives her opportunities to grow. Meets interesting clients and people through work. Made new friends she never would have met in her small town. They open her up to new experiences, yet it feels like she’s known them forever. Learned harsh lessons about crime in the city and that she’s just a statistic in the eyes of the law. Rescued stray cat from tree. Took walking tour of city with hot guy, hyjinks ensue, and at the end he gives her his digits. Has first date over sushi, hearts go babump, might this be the start of something? Supports local artists and begins painting again. Gifts painting to a client and secures a major deal for her company. Meets the author of those trashy novels she likes, insta-clicks and now has a GBF. This is Poppy Land after all, sky’s the limit.

Judy

So beautifully explained! I think that we all have that “Tora” or “Poppy” in our lives, that with no explanation, change us. We run into these people and our lives change and it’s a beautiful thing whether we stay with them for the long run or just learn from them on how to be a better person. I love how this episode shows how badly he wants change and how much she’s already changed him without even being there. I love our little strawberry 🍓 Tora 😍

Shay

I think it’s so odd to ask that question at all. I totally agree that you don’t have to be generally super extra “special” for someone to fall for you, and you to fall for another person...or not even “fall for” but to be chosen as a partner to date or whatever. At this point in the story I feel it maybe still too early to ask that question because they don’t really have a committed relationship yet. So far your story has told us the answers; for whatever reason, their lives have crossed paths and the way their interactions have happened has shown how they can be curious and attracted to each other. So they are being pretty normal. When we feel mutual attraction we seek to spend more time to get to know the person we feel the attraction to. That’s what I see happening so far. The only time the question of “why him or her” that I would understand is if it is clearly toxic relationship and/or abusive relationship. And even then...why a person chooses a partner at any particular moment in their lives can be pretty simple or complex. And what makes a lifelong love is both simple and complex too. As simple as making the active decision to be exclusively committed to them and the complexity lies in the events and interactions that have happened, over and over again, to make that person invaluable and precious in your life. 😅hope this makes sense...just put the 2 year old down for a nap and I’m laying here typing on my phone. So anyway...at this point in the story...I see Poppy and Tora attracted you each other physically, mentally, and emotionally. So because of this (and a little help from fate making them have reason to keep interacting)...their attraction grows. Their familiarity grows and therefore their intimacy and caring for one another. So yeah...they are very special to each other at this point. And no signs of stopping yay👏🥳

Katrina McGrady

These past few episodes have been my favorite so far 😍 I love everything you are doing! We appreciate you!

Maria Gonzalez

I could deffinetly see Tora just craving the normalcy that he gets from Poppy. Sometimes when your life is crazy and chaotic, all you want is something that everyone has so you can also experience normal things like everyone else. Things like hand holding, hanging out, having dinner together and getting to know someone without the means of needing something in return or for work when it comes to Tora. I absolutely agree with the author about how certain events brings people in our lives that we can't imagine it being someone else even if there is nothing "special" about them. I work in the Emergency department, so I know what a crazy day is and I can sometimes be a little envious of those who do administration work and don't have to deal with the hectic flow that comes with my job. So I understand the want to have a "normal" day.

Nordorr

I love the insight behind the scenes! It made me reflect on my husband and I and how we met and what drew us together. I love Poppy so much because I think she is so easy for readers to empathize with. She exhibits that qualities we all wish to possess and the ones we want in our friendship and relationships; kindness, wisdom, thoughtfulness, intelligence, maturity.... I think many women/people strive to be described that way. She also has the feelings we all wish we didn't, insecurities, doubt, frustrations. I can see why Tora is so drawn to her, the women that he usually would be around in the clan and outside of it tend to only see him as someone to be used, for his body, his money or his status. When he sees ordinary girls like Poppy, they are usually intimidated and run away. She is intimidated by him, but realizes that there is more to him than meets the eye and takes the time to get to know him. I can see why Tora would fall for her. Not only does Poppy appreciate and call out the good in him, but I think his admiration for her will make him begin to believe her when she calls him kind and thoughtful. I love that when he has his badump moment, he's thinking back to her giving him a sincere thank you and not their sexy eye gazing or explicit hand holding, it tells you how much weight her words have to him. I love the idea that he keeps the strawberry elastic as a reminder of not only Poppy and what she brings to his life, but also what she sees in him.

LouCas27

Is it weird for me to say that we should give some credit to Goliath for enabling Tora’s and Poppy’s paths to collide? Yeah, I think it’s also about “regular” people finding themselves in extraordinary circumstances and then making a connection. The Universe gives a little nudge sometimes (and in this case, it’s the all-powerful Lilydusk) 😘🍓✌🏻

iendive

"What is it about Poppy?" ... what is it about person X that person Y falls for? boy if one could successfully answer that they'd make millions in the self help/relationship/counseling field lol

HappyCamper

May I say I find Poppy very special? Her strength, ambition, humor, good morals, and kindness are so admirable. Tora’s 26, he’s at the age where most realize looks are only part Of love. Yes, Poppy’s a hottie, but she has qualities he desperately needs in his life and is unlikely to find in his criminal circle.

LaurenCK

FYI -- Off topic but I just zoomed in on the high res images and I can confirm that Vincent 100% exudes that small pp energy.

saucytuggles

It seems to me that one of the reasons Poppy works for Tora, unlike many others, is her childlike side, which resonates with him for so many reasons. The need to play. This episode shook me, and I think it was because for 11 episodes now we've had Poppy and Tora together in some version - coming together at Quincey's, supper at the apartment, a couple episodes where the apartment dinner was expanded and revisited through flashbacks (brilliantly structured, btw), then coming together to the rooftop scene. That's almost 3 months of Poppy and Tora. Watching him move alone through his regular milieu is like a cold glass of water to the face. It recasts all of the interactions in the last 11 episodes. Walking into her apartment. Having dinner, getting groceries, being cooked for. All the stuff the average reader accepts as part of every day life is reshaped as something foreign, the unknown world. I just continue to be in awe of MPL's storytelling. With regard to females and soulmates and such, I'm just grateful that the scattered lady characters are not ugly to each other. Erdene and Poppy's relationship is warm and generous, with not one bit of catty. Poppy and Alice were mutually respectful and appropriate with how they treated a woman in a different generation. It's all the little things that create such a beautiful deep palette in MPL.

Alma Villalba

Soooo deeep! It’s amazing how you’ve given life to these two characters and made us feel so empathic to their emotions. The real reason we ask what makes Poppy so special could be the very reason we wish it was us giving Tora that smooch 😅. But I love your sensible approach to their relationship. And each character affects the other in different ways. And Poppy demonstrates so many of our so called “flaws” but they become irrelevant to a person who sees our strengths. Therefore, that relationship naturally is special.

Rachel B.

While I did not dig as deep as you have, into the psychology of their relationship, I have to say that I agree. I feel as though you did an excellent job portraying your thoughts in this episode. Poppy truly is the light in Tora's life. I'd like to think most of us have, has, or had that one person in our lives. 😍😍

KaiyaValentine

With the ONE , speaking for me , been away seem colorless, when I came back to my husband after been separated for 6 months in different country . To this day I remember that’s his voices was soothing like no one is, and that when we met again my world became full of color again. We do have our rough moments but our good one are full of magic and I remember that when we go trough them .I remember what the world felt like without him by my side and know that he is the one for me 😉.I luv reading about Tora and Poppy , and that scene with the strawberry 🍓 hair tie did speak volume ❤️

Zara Hasan

You do such an amazing job of explaining your reasoning and thought process behind each episode! So much so that I click the patreaon notification for the image and leave intrigued because of your description. Thank you for the insight into MPL!!! ❤

Felicia Gomez

My fiancé’s asked me what I think about when I run. I said 30% of the time, I think about an alternate universe...what happened if we broke up early in our relationship? My answer to that is I would have been a different person and I don’t know if I would appreciate the person I would’ve turned to. We make each other into better people. Could someone else do that? Yeah, but it’s like making a cake. The recipe would be similar but the results would be different. *side note* giiiirl, took me forever to figure out how to post this. Technology is not my friend! 😂

larosamorada

When you mentioned timing and sequences of events in the creation of a relationship, it reminded me of this TED talk I watched about the probability of one person being born: "So what's the probability of your being born? It's the probability of 2.5 million people getting together -- about the population of San Diego -- each to play a game of dice with trillion-sided dice. They each roll the dice -- and they all come up the exact same number -- say, 550,343,279,001." (https://www.huffpost.com/entry/probability-being-born_b_877853/amp) I definitely agree that there is more than one person out there for us. That's just being logical. But the path to who we are with is very unique. My own relationship is proof enough of that- if I hadn't done certain things at specific points, I would have never met my husband, much less considered dating him. And even more interesting is the point you make about what is your life like in their absence. Because I very much look at the timeline of my life in terms of pre-hubby and post-hubby. It could not be more different and his as well. Crazy how the universe works. It reminds me of one of my favorite Carl Sagan quotes (yes, I'm going ULTRA nerd for this post): "For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love."

Myruhhz

Damn, this was really deep. Lily you’re an amazing writer. And you’re right, we’re all replaceable but the experiences we have with each other aren’t, and that’s essentially what makes our connections to each other special.

TeHeeJones

What's so special about Poppy... Well let's first of think about what's special about anyone we choose to be with... I think Tora is attracted to Poppy because she is daring, persistent, challenging, caring, bubbly, cute, and the light to his darkness. Everything about her is the opposite of his world and I think that is what draws him so much to her. That even though he knows she can see that they walk on two different paths, she still chooses to not run away from him. Tora likes her positive outlook on things, something he might not have much experience with, but I can see she is making an impression on him and he can feel it too. His dark and gloomy world has one ray out light in it and that's our dearest Poppy... Their connection is what makes her so special and what makes her "her" 💜!

Leslie

Another bit that’s great to think about is the element of choice and will. Relationships are built as much as they are found. Choosing to flirt back, to text first, to ask or not ask, to push yourself a little beyond your comfort zone, to forgive....you’ll make a million different choices over the course of your time with someone that give your relationship integrity, or wear it down. As much as the story is about the events and the why - it will also be so amazing (and wrenching, because this is Pops and Tora we’re talking about here) to see how they come to these turning and breaking points and choose to step a little closer to one another each time.

Christina Agan

I just reread the entire series again today, and it really is a beautiful little dance Tora and Poppy take until we get to their kiss. Just the cycle crash alone. What were the odds of Tora parking in just that spot, and of Poppy leaving the bushes right then? Or meeting at Chevy’s? Or really either of them being bold enough, vulnerable enough, trusting enough or willing to take chances on a stranger several times......in order for them to feel safe enough to kiss each other? I think each little step they’ve taken since locking eyes in that train have kept taking them towards each other and I think it’s beautiful. I honestly am so excited to see where this journey is going to take us.

Dyane Rodriguez

Poppy is special because though torá freaked her out at first.. she looked passed that when Tora saved her from falling. Though Tora’s intentions are still to get the notebook he saw that poppy never gives up(ex: chasing Mr. Lam).. and poppy literally gives off big dick energy😂... and he also makes her step out of her comfort zone.. and both have an unspoken trust with each other.. she is Tora’s eyes into a world that is not dark and lonely.. he really enjoys his time with her and tries to understand her. She also tries to show him that he is more than a thug and that he is also a human worth being around. She humanizes Tora while others just see him as a thug, bodyguard, or monster.

Christina Agan

Hey Lily, I’ve got a question, not sure if it’s been asked before. Is there any specific music you listen to when you’re drawing MPL? Or a song you think of for a specific character? Like: “oh this sounds like Quincey!” Or “I bet Erdene would dance to this!” Just curious. I’ve heard some fan playlists, but I was wondering if you had some specific songs? Thanks again!

Vanessa

Hi there! I am new here. Never read comics, manga, smutty manga, whatever, but I am obsessed!! Wonderful artwork and character development, but also the fab dialogue and prompts are really fantastic. If there was a one time tip option on patreon, I would love to contribute as my finances allow, on top of my monthly fee. Or even PayPal. Truly awesome work, would love to support. Also so happy to find the secret garden section. Sexy, not scary/misogynistic/dehumanizing. Because of the relationship they have, its respectful, consensual, and Poppy having a great time is actually important! All the things that mainstream porn is NOT. Ugh good riddance. Yay MPL 😻

Vanessa

Correction: fan dialogue

Vanessa

Omg I love that we are all devouring R rated manga and discussing healthy relationships all in one place 🥳😂🧡😍 so happy to be here

Robin Lopez

I love your story telling... Poppy is such a splendid character. She’s sweet but fiery. And she can take a giant of a man... AkA Tora and turn him into Puppy. He has longed for something like Poppy... that caring and nurturing person he never had... and he is becoming a better person.

Adventurous Snail

I really appreciate this post because it helps clarify a huge aspect of their relationship. Tora never wanted to be in this situation and had tried to run away in the past. He isn't proud of who he is or what he does. Yet, this world has shaped him, and the effects can be seen by everyone. So despite Tora being a deeply caring and empathetic person, NOONE lets him be true to those emotions, with the exception of Alice and her son, Quincey to a degree, and Gyu. Not his colleagues, his boss, and now not even strangers. Poppy does. Poppy lets him be silly, and vulnerable and gives him cute things and lets him be human. But she does this because she can feel his kindness. If Tora took pride in his work, and enjoyed hurting people, and didn't want to change or have a better life, this would be a very different story.

NEETU KAHLON

Lilydusk Well-said! It’s not about who you can live with...it’s about who you can’t live without ... it’s not that I would die without him... but maybe the will to live might. That said, I am absolutely loving your work - the art, the story, the relationships (which if you ask me if non-existent without sex). For me you are up there with Aya Sakyou’s Kuroneko Kareshi series or Yoneda Kou’s Saezuru Tori wa Habakatenai... so far I have only been able to find mature gripping storyline in yaoi. Till I found your work, that is. So thank you :)

Cleide Sousa

I loved so much your musings about this episode. There is a great song composer here in Brazil, called Chico Buarque, he's written beautiful love songs, very passionate and romantic. Once I saw his interview, and he was questioned about love, about why people fall in love for someone and not for another... and he quoted an author, that inspired him a song: "Because it was you, and because it was me"... the simplest thing, but love is like it is, our human patch, our life story has shaped us into who we are that moment, and life simply brought us together, in a moment we're prepared to open up, that exactly moment... as Poppy says in chapter one "life is made up of a series of dots" that's it, you're are in the exact place, the exact time and love happens...

Rose

Incredibly well put. I think part of why I love this story so much is because it feels less like a fabricated love-fest and more like a real relationship building between people who are just intrigued, amused, and bewildered by the other. The art style also blows my mind. My lock screen and wallpaper are both Popper and Tora moments I love 😍 Thanks for inspiring and entertaining us with beautiful art and a compelling story.

Rose

Lol I can't spell 🤦 Poppy not Popper...

LADY K

I love this so much. This explanation really opened my perspective on this episode

Tatiana Eletzky

It's an interresting thing that you point here, indeed I too think that anyone else can take the place of a loved one if anyone else has acted the same, has gone by the same things that leads to this particular moment in a relationship. But I equally think that everybody is unique in its own, and acts and reacts as a unique one. So maybe it's kind of more complicated to me here.. Everyone could have done the same Poppy did and does for Tora, but not everyone is Poppy, and the same thing applies to Tora for Poppylan. That's why I love your story, because even if it's another romance with a great mafia plot, it's a very good romance because it doesn't forget are just people with their own story, and does not try to fulfill some idealistic standard. You really do a great job here Lilydusk, I shall thank you for that 🙂 Keeping going drawing and writing great stories, you're one of those talented people that I'm happy to help with my little support in this Patreon (I'd like to do some more but alas.. I don't know how, plus I'm a little bit of a broke girl 🤣). And even if you somehow stop your activity for some reason, I will still be glad I've supported you. So.. Thank you. Have a nice day, and nicer to come either 😁

Manon Rouanet

I do share your thoughts. Without Poppy Tora's life is quite shitty and empty. Few friends but they are always looking backwards afraid of what the darkness could hide. The only thing special about Poppy is that Tora likes her and she likes him. She is some kind of light with her normal personnality in his world of violence because she is not from this world. That's why he wants to protect her from it. Thank Lilydusk for all the time you have passed concepting the script, the story and the designs. I am always waiting the saturday all the week 😅

Bethany Runyon

Very wise insight. We form relationships with the people we meet and sometimes the combination of personalities and the interactions that ensue; lead to love. BUT THEN, there comes that moment (and I think all couples reach this point) where you decide that you are going to stay and invest in the well-being of this other person, no matter what, or...not. But as my marriage goes, I face that 'moment' over and over again, and I still choose my husband, but plenty of my friends haven't chosen to stay with thier husbands. Is my love truer? Did I find a better match? Maybe, but not necessarily. Life has a way of changing the circumstances constantly. Goodness Gracious Lilly! Now you got me being all introspective and rambly. I need coffee.☕🤔🤷

Celia Mitchell

Great points. Love reading your prospectives. :) I also think one of the things that makes Poppy special isn't just that she's a light in Tora's life, but that even though she doesn't fully understand him, she accepts every part she sees as she sees it. And that may take some work from her, but on the outside it seems almost effortless... As if they are in some ways similar and are the element that is missing in each other's lives. Tora with his quiet understanding and ability to shake up her world and put it back together when she walks into something too crazy. And Poppy with her gentleness, her naivety, her humor and acceptance of him despite what she has a pretty good idea he is. She shows him a basic human respect without really trying because that just seems to be the kind of person she is, and I think maybe that's exactly what Tora was seeking all along. Just someone to see him as a man who's trying and not judge him as a piece in a crime family.

Irene A

Actuality, the depth and insight of your introspection and perspective is impressive. And the awareness it brings is something that I think will help us be better people.

Katy

Love hearing your insight into your work, i got the message from reading the chapter but I like having the further explanation of what was going through your mind in creating it. I also love that you don’t draw Poppy as this idealized body type woman, I love her curves and her cautious but still brave when she needs to be nature. I think you’ve captured Tora

Katy

Captured Tora very well, his character definitely from the first couple chapters you can tell there’s more to this tortured soul than he lets on.

BlackCat

I think relationships are also about timing and where you’re at in your life when you meet someone. If I had met my husband even a year earlier or a year later I don’t think anything would have come of it because we met in a moment between a lot of transitions in both our lives where things were able to fall into place and work out. We’re now together for over 10 years, but I don’t think you can ever really say what would have been if we hadn’t met at that time. So I think something similar can apply to Poppy and Tora, that it’s not because they are somehow a perfect match for another and Poppy has all these characteristics that somehow magically attract Tora to her, but instead they met at a time in their lives where things were able to fit for them.

Rachel R

Well said... I love the thought process!

Patty

Me, on author post 35: "i love tora's legs for some reason" Lily, next episode: "here have tora's legs" What a blessing

Rachel E

My favorite picture... <3

Cindy

I really enjoyed reading your thought process behind this, and definitely agree that sometimes we can better understand the impact someone has on us once their presence is gone.

Julie F

I discover your thoughts and I find them perfect in my eyes. You have summarized well what a relationship is and what it brings to everyone. Reading you, I understand better why this story is so gripping. Thank you !

PotatoSquish

I 100% agree with this line of thought. Poppy is so normal and that's what I think so many people love about her. She's the "average woman" that ended up in these circumstances with Tora. Relationships are situational. If I stayed here or moved to another country, I'd end up with someone different because of the circumstances I was in. Each relationship is unique and special and fun because of what the couple experiences together. Personalities and likes/dislikes affect these as well but the core of getting closer to someone is having meaningful experiences together. I love how you've explained it and represented this in the story <3