2022 Unreleased + Blog - Skylark Social Club (Patreon)

One of a handful of videos shot on tour in 2022 that haven't been seen before, having never been published or sent out to Patreon members as originally planned. Some of have been put together into longer compilations with multiple songs, others are loose songs with some bits.

This is the last of the longer-form 2022 Unreleased videos. There are still some loose songs coming but this is the last video with multiple songs in it. This one has Cicada Days (I know, right? again?) and Black Box Warrior. I do Black Box really differently here, which I hope you dig. I also do some kind-of crowd work.

I'm sorry about the audio quality, it was a pretty rugged venue as you can tell. They did what they could, I always loved the spot. Even back when I was lucky to get a handful of people at one of my shows on tour, this place was always welcoming, always had an enthusiastic crowd, and always paid generously despite my inability to draw much without a thousand local openers helping out. They had a real punk rock spirit, and seemed to really be looking out for the little guy on the road just trying to make enough to get to the next city with a meal in his stomach without needing to sleep in his car.

After the I/Me/Myself thing I really avoided meeting the demand. My booking agent and I butted heads big time about the rooms I was in. Theoretically it's both our jobs to sell as many tickets as possible, and a booking agent gets paid based on that, but I was terrified of the attention and just wanted to keep feeling like a road dog in his early 20s. So it's funny looking back on this video and ones in similarly small places, having done 1600-cap rooms since then but not being anything close to sixteen times as famous. There's a possibility I could've done a room four or five times the size of this one and done okay, but I'm glad I stuck to those guns.

I look back on this tour/these tours with a lot of embarrassment and regret. There were some truly wonderful adventures, some of which I'll share at some point, and it was an absolute thrill playing for and meeting so many people, but I was in an awful place mentally. I was overwhelmed by the attention for the first time, was dealing with my first stalker-y stuff, and there was also a weird threat in my personal life looming over me during the first half of it. I can see the effect it had on my stage presence and performing style. I can see the lack of inspiration in my loose, unrehearsed, and cagey spoken material, and the lack of energy in my depression-chic hair and beard, filthy clothes, and uh, curves. The second half was much better, but the first half was a mess of confusion and failed attempts to feel genuinely connected with audiences. I was hoping I could put out In Case I Make It, then take the money and run. I guess I kind of sort of did. I ended up putting out In Case I Die, but I was done working for real long before then, and done mentally long before that.

It feels both like a lot more and a lot less than four years since then. So much has changed, but I guess because I took time away from touring and recording for a couple years it feels kind of like yesterday. To me it feels like I've only toured three times since the blowup, even if I did some weekenders, the 2022 tours were technically two separate ones, and it could be argued the 2025 one was too. So while this footage is probably from the first handful of shows I did after I/M/M, it both feels like a pre-blowup show from eight years ago and a show from a couple tours back.

The thing I see is "oh, this is from THAT tour" when I watch it. It's good to be reminded of how far I've been able to come since then, and good to be reminded that even when I'm haggard and worn down mentally people still have a good time. But it's hard to be reminded of how much trouble I was really in behind the scenes. I don't say this to try and garner some pity, it's just the truth about my experiences. Maybe knowing some "stars are people too" bullshit is nice, I don't know. I know some people who are reading this might look up to me in some way or see me as something that exists outside the real world of normal people, but to me this video in particular screams otherwise. And maybe that's good. Maybe it's good to post something that says "attention and adulation will never make you happy." Some people need to hear that, maybe especially so in the social media era.

It's okay to look bad and feel bad on stage now and again, it happens to everyone, regardless of what type of "stage" you're on. It's normal, and everyone else is doing it too, including the guy you might think has a very cool life.

Or maybe I've been enough of an open book long enough where hearing Will Wood say "you know kids, even I have my struggles, no matter how happy I might seem!" is fucking hilarious.

Much love,

ww