One Shot Wednesdays -You're Crazy! (Patreon)

 Here's another one for our bi-weekly One-Shot Wednesdays! [this was supposed to be posted last month in March but it never made it to the queue oops! Sorry y'all!]

Agateophobia: Your muse thinks they're going crazy, and mine is trying to talk them down.

[Vicky of tumblr requested this prompt with Klaus of The Umbrella Academy -how appropriate lol]

Please note Klaus and all of The Umbrella Academy as mentioned/referenced belongs to the Netflix show which is based on the graphic novels. I own nothing. This is a work of fan-fiction!  Hope you enjoy! -Britt

“Wh-what the hell?!” Her voice was a mixture of things and it shook as she stared back at Klaus Hargreeves eyes wide and brow pulled together gently in suspicion. “How’d I get here? Who are you?”

“Your guess is as good as mine sweetheart,” he responded back then noticed her pale skin seemed a little too pale. Her lips not miscoloured by a cosmetic –on second glance. ‘Holy shit.’

“Whadda you want, huh? Money? Sex?”

He laughed. “I think all of us want that don’t you?” he shot back in amusement –unable to stop himself from responding to her statement with some level of sass and amusement.

“W-Well you’re not fucking getting it from me! Look I’ll give you what I have in my purse but if you so much as try and touch me—” she threatened.

“No trust me I’m not gonna lay a finger on you,” he replied with his hands up in submission. “And I’m not gonna take your money okay?”

She looked him up and down. “Y-yeah maybe,” she muttered to herself still unsure. “But how’d I get here? One second I’m...where was I? I fell asleep and now I’m here. What’d you do?”

“I didn’t do anything!” he vowed. “And if you don’t mind I’m just going to go on and mind my own business, okay?” Klaus tried walking away from her. With every step he worried she’d come running after him or start screaming in his ear. But it didn’t happen. ‘Praise Jesus –or whoever’ he thought to himself gratefully as he got onto the underground.

He pulled out Diego’s MP3 player –oh his brother was going to be ever so pissed that Klaus had gotten his hands on it- and started up a song to distract him from the people and the sounds on the train car.

Only he should have closed his eyes because no amount of music could drown out or distract him from the appearance of that same girl now here in the moving train car with him. ‘Fuck.’

“What the hell!?” she exclaimed in alarm. “H-how’d—?” She backed up a little too far and disappeared from sight.

Klaus didn’t see her for another two days, thankfully. “I-It’s you,” she exclaimed as she looked up and saw him dancing around on the train platform singing along to the pop song on Allison’s Ipod.

“Shit!” he cussed under his breath.

“Wait!” she called as he moved away trying to pretend he hadn’t seen her. “Wait! You have to help me!”

Klaus had no option but to stop when she rushed in front of him and startled him into submission. “Please you have to help me I think I’m going crazy!” she exclaimed shakily, eyes widened in mania.

“Wh—”

“Look it’s... I keep having these lapses in memory and I can’t keep track of the days a-and it’s like I keep thinking that...that you’re the only one I’ve talked to in days but I feel like that’s crazy right?! It’s a dream –a nightmare I’ve had—where no one can see me right? But you see me! You’re talking to me!”

“Yeah,” he had to agree.

“I think I need help! I remember falling asleep here and then I ran into you and I thought you were trying to rob me and then...then we saw each other on the train and then... God I don’t know I fell asleep again or something and then I had this nightmare that no one could see me or hear me and... I’m fucking freaking out here because I don’t remember what day it is and it’s like I only feel like I’m not dreaming when you show up. So I just... Can you pinch me so I can wake up from this messed up friggen thing? Coz I’ve tried everything!”

“Eh well I don’t think that’ll work,” Klaus told her slowly, “Um... Well you’re not crazy you’re just...dead? You’re dead,” he tried to break it to her slowly at first feeling skeptical of his statement because he wasn’t sure how to react and then decided there was no beating around the bush.

“S-sorry what? Dead? Ha-ha no!” she laughed in his face, “That’s impossible!”

“It’s not,” he retorted with a sheepish smile. “Uh well if you’ll just excuse me I’ve got a...an appointment,” he went on as he pat his pockets. 

Damn old habits died hard. He’d been sober awhile now but his old ways were still ingrained in him wanting to get high so he wouldn’t be seeing these ghosts or spirits or whatever the fuck. 

But he’d promised he’d stay sober and he hadn’t yet broken that. His hands had still instinctively reached for a sedative. He rubbed them on his pants which were a violent shade of neon green and low cut.

His shirt could be better described as a blouse with its florally arrangements and chiffon-like fabric billowing around his lanky arms and over his thin chest. Klaus rubbed the heel of his hands into his eyes, smudging the leftover eyeliner from the night before some, as he muttered to himself, “Ah fuck just one hit would do it. God damn hero business...”

“What sort of appointment?” she prodded. “You know what? Never mind um...” The girl looked uncomfortable as she tried to gauge her situation and Klaus standing in front of her as she realized what he was muttering. “I-I think I’ll be just fine. You’re...you’re on drugs and um... It’s okay I’m sorry I bothered you.”

She backed away hesitantly.

“Oh no actually this is me not on the drugs!” he laughed in some amusement, “No I’m completely sober damn it all!” he chuckled anxiously.

“Well either way I’m sorry I bothered you with all that...talk. I’m sorry.”

“You’re not bothering me. Well I mean you are but it’s not your fault. I just... Ah fuck I’m shit at explaining this. Look I can see people who have...gone to the other side er- not quite to the ‘other side’,” he told her. “I only see them when I’m completely sober. Well except my brother Ben but that sonuvabitch has always been a special case. Like now for example. Now would be a nice time for him to help me out with...this whole thing with you but the guy’s nowhere to be seen. 

“Anyway I’m rambling now. Look, I think I know what happened to you: you fell asleep on a bench down here at a station maybe not even this station but anyway I think you’re that girl that was on the news. You fell asleep and you suffered some sort of...of brain thing and then died. They found you late at night they thought you were homeless or something.”

“You’re crazier than I thought!” she muttered, “Stay away from me!” she urged louder so he could hear. “I don’t have drugs and I don’t have any money either! Here just have my purse!” she threw it at his feet.

“Look don’t believe me all you want but you’re going to find that I’m right and I’m probably the only one who can see you and maybe help you. I’m gonna catch this train now and maybe I’ll catch you later when you’ve calmed down. But I don’t have time for this right now,” he concluded with a sigh. “Catch you later Nancy—no um...Kelly? I think that was the name in the paper. I think...” With a salute to her he got on the train car and sat down.

He saw her call it out even if he couldn’t hear the words “you’re crazy!”

“For once you’d be right but it’s complicated,” he muttered in response. “Crazy is subjective. Like you have no fucking idea...” Klaus lay his head back on the seat and tried turning on another pop song to stop reflecting on just how crazy his life actually was even being off the drugs. Fucking ridiculous. Absolutely bonkers. But hey, what was new in the life of a Hargreeves?