One Shot Wednesdays -The Devil's Donut (Patreon)

 Greetings everyone! I guess the last one-shot Wednesday featuring a ‘Devil’ was well received since we have another request relating to The Devil. This week’s one-shot prompt comes to us from Robyn who suggested: “asking Satan for that favour he owes you for eating a doughnut at church. Cause butterfly effect he says”

This is gonna get a bit silly but hey it’s just for fun anyhow! Hope you enjoy and please feel free to send in more requests and prompts for One-Shot Wednesdays!

-Britt xoxo

I was minding my own business just listening to the readings at Sunday mass. As the psalms started, I noticed a figure clad in a black suit exit the sanctuary into the hall. Something was familiar about that swagger. My stomach did a little flip of nervousness.

I tried to concentrate but couldn’t as sure enough the figure re-emerged just as the psalms were ending and the second reader went up to read. The figure, to my chagrin, was none other than Lucifer Morningstar.

That was my first shock.

My second was seeing something hanging out of his mouth. But a second later his long, pale hand reached up and grabbed it and I recognized as he pulled away that it was a glazed donut –one from the trays that were placed out for fellowship after mass. After mass...

My heart was thudding. “Jesus—” I muttered and his eyes flicked right onto me and he mouthed back (mouth still chewing donut no doubt) ‘not quite’!

I felt faint.

The devil was in my church. He was eating a donut. And he knew I existed; he had sensed my response to seeing him. ‘Good Lord’ I thought, terrified.

I could swear I saw Lucifer smile as my eyes turned away whilst he simultaneously was attempting to take another bite.

I tried to keep my eyes off of him during the gospel reading to varied success before feeling the need to excuse myself for some water once the homily was about to begin.

Mr. Morningstar –it helped for me to think of him that way otherwise I felt panic and nervousness setting in- had gone to sit in a pew towards the back of the church.

I pushed through the doors to the hall and stumbled for the water fountain. Drinking my fill of the cool liquid, I took a breath in and out. “It’s fine. This is fine,” I muttered to myself.

Then the doors at the end of the hall opened and my breath was taken again in alarm. “Why hello,” he greeted.

I couldn’t speak.

“Don’t worry I’m not here to tempt you –though I was curious whether you’d come in to grab your own donut!” he teased as he made his way closer. 

“But are you alright?” Lucifer asked somewhat gently as he beheld me unmoving and unspeaking before him.

“Wh-what—” I stammered, “What’re you doing here?”

“Checking on you.”

“No...” I took a breath, trying to gain the effort to speak properly.

“Ah in church?” He shrugged.

“You’re not supposed to eat in there,” I argued lamely. I was sure he knew that.

“Says who? A bunch of humans?” he pressed.

I didn’t know what to say to answer.

We stood for several moments in silence. I could hear the hum of the priest’s voice over the speakers in the next room delivering the homily.

It occurred to me that this in and of itself could have been The Devil testing me. I suddenly gained courage and rushed past him to go back to mass.

“Wait,” he exclaimed in surprise, “Just one second. You don’t think I should eat in Dad’s house?”

His hand was on the door before mine was and I was forced to listen for just a moment. I decided I would reply: short, curt and get out of there. Not today Satan!

“You know that it’s not respectful.”

“Don’t you eat in your own parents’ house?”

“That’s different. My parents aren’t God. Now excuse me.”

“I’ll let Dad deal with me then,” he shrugged though he still hadn’t relinquished the door. I’d have to try the other one and hope it wasn’t locked.

“Or there. It’s just respectful to the wishes of everyone here—” I gestured at the signs that had been put up this past year informing people not to bring food or use their cell phones while inside out of respect for others trying to pray or worship.

“Hm. Well fine then. I suppose you think it’ll cause a butterfly effect? It just might, you know...”

“What?” I hissed in confusion and annoyance.

“Never mind. I owe you then. I disrespected you and your fellow parishioners. Come see me later.”

“No thank you,” I responded as I pulled the door open at last and escaped into the sanctuary again. Lucifer did not follow.

It was a couple of years afterwards that I saw him again. “You! I owe you that favour!” he exclaimed upon catching our eyes.

“I-I told you I didn’t want it,” I stammered.

“Nonsense. One day you’ll need it. I will keep myself in debt until then.”

“I’ve gotta go,” I exclaimed, hurrying away. I was trembling.

Over the next several months, I saw and heard many reports about him. They had to be propaganda. How could The Devil be a helpful person? He’d done these things with exchange of souls or favours in return or something! Altruistic wasn’t something I could ever describe Satan as. Ever.

But slowly, I was brought around to the truth.

So, I decided to see about cashing in on my favour.

“So this favour— what are the limitations?”

He shrugged. “You saw me eating a donut in church when I shouldn’t have been and you didn’t tell on me and you didn’t feel the need to dwell on it. So really it’s a negotiation at this point. What do you need? What do you think the exchange is worth?”

I paused. “But if I get this favour from you then are you putting secret stipulations on it? Like let’s say I wish for something to happen or to be given to me am I gonna find out that there was a catch?”

“Never.”

I raised my brows. “I swear to Dad.”

I tried not to laugh at the image he presented with his hand over his heart and saying ‘Dad’. “Okay. Well then I want you to make an anonymous donation to fund the coffee and donuts and juice for after mass for the rest of my church’s existence. And no trying to get the thing shut down or something.”

“I told you I grant the favour and that’s it. It would be against the agreement to try and sabotage things. Is this what you want truly, though?” he mused.

“Yes. I think it’s fair. You uh...started this with a donut it’ll end with donuts.”

“Seems simple enough. I just expected more from you. I know what it is you truly desire.”

“Yeah well temptation... uh... no I’m not giving in.”

“You sure I can’t persuade you?” he asked silkily.

His charms were working on me but I wouldn’t have it. “Na-ah. Not today Satan!”