Update (Patreon)

Hey guys, just checking in because I’ve been very quiet this month. I don’t have great news to share on the series other than progress has stalled. I’m like five months in on this antidepressant waiting for it to fully settle and while I’m doing a lot better in most other regards the brain fog is the one thing that just isn’t budging. The thing is at this point I’m not as stressed about it as I was. It sucks, I want to be able to work again and not get hung up on writing the same few sentences over and over, but it’s almost the end of the year and if I have to wait it out and enjoy my time doing other stuff until everything snaps back into place then I’m pretty much just feeling like ‘whatever’.

I am trying something new, though. Rather than sitting around doing nothing I’m trying to jolt my brain by using a gimmicky writing app that deletes your shit if you don’t write fast enough. I’m obviously not writing the story with this- I’m just goofing off with it and trying to get myself back to a point where writing comes stream of conscious for me, but yeah.

I’m trying to work on LARPG but most sessions have devolved back into constantly second guessing and rewriting the same junk over and over again, and the witty dialogue I’m known for just isn’t coming to me when I try to write it. It’s this awkward loop of sit down to write, type a sentence, feeling bad about it, delete, rephrase, and feeling worse because it still doesn’t seem right.

I’m not looking for sympathy, I just want to more accurately share what I’m going through here so you know why it’s taking me so long to accomplish things. I do feel like all I need to do is keep on waiting, though. It’s difficult to put into words but I do feel the pills doing more and more with every day. Given that I was on them for like 15+ years I shouldn’t be surprised it’s taking so long to get back to full effects after six months off of them, but it’ll be six months being back on them by Christmas so hopefully it evens out around then.

Either way, I’m committed to riding this out and I ask for patience as I continue to recover. Sharing all this is very shameful for me but I don’t want to ever give the impression that I’m an author who abandons my work. Thank you for the patience.