Unplanned Added Chapter Outline (Patreon)

Replacement 85

Because of my mental condition making things take longer then they normally would've otherwise, I'm a bit mentally disconnected from where I was when writing the first half of this volume from where I'm writing the second half. I think for the most part this isn't a big issue, and there's just one minor thing that stands out to me that I want to change. I want to add another chapter with Zoe's point of view before the previous in story day closes out to help bridge the gap on where she's at in the morning to where she was where before hand.

I feel like making her clingy and hyper conscious of her feelings towards Oliver now as she's shown during their visit to the mall thus far would make more sense with this added transition. It also gives us a fun little look at her streaming career, which this volume probably needs and which I don't think would've fit anywhere else given what all I have planned for the rest of the book.

Currently, my plan is to finish chapter 92, however long that may take. I'm still not moving at a very fast pace. I wrote this outline in two sessions, but that's only because whatever mental haze is keeping me from writing prose doesn't affect my loose outlining. It's very annoying, and I wish it wasn't the case. After 92 is finished, I'll go back and write this new chapter. Once it's done, I'll have to rename 85-92 to reflect this one taking its place. I'll also need to lightly edit those chapters to reference the events here. I think it will be a good addition and worth it to include.

---

Zoe is shown streaming. After she disengaged earlier in the night, she got ready and has been streaming ever since. It's very late now and she's been going at it for hours and She hours in her dark room. 

She's playing whatever popular game she mentioned earlier in the book, and it's seemingly going well. We see her react to a few things, talk to some chat members, and by all accounts, she looks to be happy.

But we're told something doesn't feel right. Chat notices she seems a little out of it today and Zoe is defensive, but they get it out of her that she's still kinda bugged by everything that happened. She doesn't really share much about her personal life very often but since Zoe is feeling vulnerable she spills a little more.

She was hanging out with some friends today when she got the notification and then she kinda shit all over the great day they were all having. Mixed reactions from her chat, but mostly positive. Some guy sends a super chat to say how disappointed he is in her for having irl friends and shit, thought she was a femcel NEET no lifer and she's like yeah but some it's an act to appeal to desperate gooners like you. Same guy responds with a second donation saying that's fair.

Someone else says she should't have rushed back to streaming the second she was able, and that frustrates her as she explains that it's like a compulsion. She needs this shit. Someone jokes if they don't send her money and Zoe is like nah you simps are doing good on that front, it's more the...

She doesn't say it out loud, but she thinks of her day with her friends, and she thinks of Oliver. What she's thinking of is attention. All the donations, chat messages, and reactions are great and all, but they're not hitting her as hard as they usually do. Sighing, Zoe pauses the game and thinks she'll take a break for a bit. She gets more messages saying she's acting really out of character. Not everyone is happy, but there ARE supportive voices in her chat.

She gets reassured that if she's still getting over personal issues or whatever then they will be patient for her until she's ready to really come back. Zoe can take a hint by now and is appreciate of the chat, joking she doesn't recognize any of these horny losers amid all the thoughtful advice. She reiterates that she's still not ever gonna go out with any of them, sad reactions in chat.

It's like one in the morning and she makes the decision to go chill and nap for a few hours, then stream whenever she gets up until afternoon tomorrow since she still has plans. A chat member asks if Zoe and 'The Help' have plans or something and she repeats they need to knock it off with calling Mia that, shit's racist. Mia doesn't do the housekeeping cause she's Mexican. She does it because I'm a worthless failgirl. Awkward pause. Getting too real.

Anyway, no, not her. Some other... she almost slips and says guy but corrects and says mutual friend of ours.

This ellicits a reaction like piranhas just detecting blood. Some of her chat members freak at the possibility she might be seeing a guy, and Zoe angrily insists it's not like that and that they need to cool their parasocial asses off. Some losers unsub from her and this pisses her off even more.

Zoe closes the game and tells the losers to fuck off, reiterates her plan to come back later, but she shows a tiny bit of progress here- she says fuck the current game, she's gonna play whatever she wants when she gets back. Chill stream. Mixed reaction- casual fans want her to play popular shit, her actual fans are happy to see her play what she wants and Zoe ends the stream for now.

She collapses into her gaming chair- nearly throwing her controller out of frustration. The stream didn't go that well. Felt weird the whole way through, and she reckons she could use a pick me up. Checks her Xitter and the last selfie she posted, tons of comments and traction, but it's all the same shit to her. None of it's real, and she has a random thought. Being told by strangers that she's hot isn't as gratifying as sitting on Oliver's lap was and seeing the look on his face when she messed with him.

She didn't know how to process it at the time, but she has a pretty good feeling about it in retrospect. She feels really down about ditching him after the shit he said, and she feels even worse about leaving Mia in that state. She pulls her hair, frustrated at how hard all this is. Something's gotta give, and she wonders if Mia is still awake. She tucks her phone in her bra and goes to check.

The lights are on and Zoe almost barges in like usual but knocks first. No response, so she opens the door. Mia is passed out but clearly high as fuck. Her phone is playing hentai and though covered by the blanket Zoe can hear the buzzing of Mia's wand. This sight makes her think back to how horny Mia looked the other day, and we get the first hint that she's starting to have thoughts about Mia's cute face, too, but she dismisses it and calls out to her.

You fell asleep gooning again, you fuckin' perv. Mia is barely aware of her surroundings. Christ, how much did you take? More than enough. Zoe asks if she's mad and Mia is like way too high to answer that, ask again later, gonna go back to sleep now. Zoe asks if she can get Mia anything. Mia gives her a weird stare. What? Being considerate is new for Zoe, so its weird. Mia says she's good unless Zoe feels like cuddling- she'll forgive her on the spot if she does.

Zoe thinks back. They've been friends forever now, and they've had plenty of sleepovers way before they were roommates. Zoe tosses and turns a lot during sleep but is a very huggy sleeper. They have cuddled on more than one occasion as a result of this. Only once while Mia was high, though.

Zoe builds off of the joke from earlier, saying no, not after what happened last time. Mia forgot and asks for a reminder. Kept feeling Zoe up and got mad when she wouldn't let her- she doesn't finish the sentence, too embarrassing. Implication is Mia wanted to suck Zoe's breasts. Mood is weird now, Mia's getting sleepier and Zoe starts to close the door.

Zoe apologizes about today once more before she does, but doesn't get a response. Course not, that'd be too easy.

Zoe is in the hallway and sighs. Her frustration and guilt are getting the worst of her, and all of a sudden, her phone vibrates on her nipple. It surprises her given the topic she'd just been discussing with Mia, and it turns out to be Rebecca. She'd randomly checked in on the stream before bed and saw it didn't end all that well. Asks if she's okay.

Zoe feels a pang of gratitude going out to her sweet, precious little weirdo. Hates herself for putting this friendship on the backburner like everything else in her life, texts her back. They have a short chat where Rebecca helps Zoe feel better about today and the topic does drift towards Oliver and Zoe explaining she feels really bad about him in particular. Rebecca says he's okay and if anything he's more worried about you.

This sticks out to her. It doesn't surprise her, but she's overwhelmed by it to some extent. It feels good knowing he's worried, but she doesn't get it. Says as much to Rebecca. Why? He barely knows me. Rebecca says that doesn't matter to people like him and by extension her. They're the sort of people who struggle to form bonds but latch on incredibly hard once they've made one.

Zoe calls her out if she's speaking from experience. Well, yeah. Zoe can tell she's flustered even through her text and this amuses her. She asks if Rebecca has latched onto Oliver. Silence, followed by a flustered text about how that wouldn't be appropriate. Zoe again feels bad but distances herself from it- revealing Mia's cuck thing is not her department and she has enough shit going on.

The conversation ends with Rebecca encouraging her for tomorrow. It slipped her mind that she's gonna hang with him and she asks Rebecca for advice, then is confused about why she would ask that. Rebecca tells her to take a shower maybe, also tells her to keep an open mind about what they get up to, and they say bye for now after a thanks.

Sigh. Shower is a good idea, after a rough night of acruing potent gamer sweat. Or maybe not, he's prolly into that shit. She smiles, then feels weird about it and shakes it off. She goes to the bathroom and strips, admiring herself in the mirror briefly. Not in a super narcissistic way, but it perks her confidence. It backfires when she thinks about Oliver again, inevitably. Idle thought like I bet he'd think so, too.

She gets in the shower to distract herself but it does not go well at all. She's conscious of her body in a way she normally isn't. She's used to showing off and it feels good to do so, but it's only ever been for strangers online. Feels different knowing someone irl is checking her out half the time. You think she'd be used to it with Mia, but no.

Zoe is a little down on herself for feeling this way and wonders why she's thinking these thoughts over someone she practically just met. She wonders if she was really so lonely that she would've latched on to some other guy who entered her life and showed her some interest, or if Oliver won't leave her mind because he's special somehow. As she thinks of this, she imagines his face and thinks about the time they've spent together so far.

She doesn't come to any solid conclusions, but it's obvious that she is leaning more towards him being special. She's glad he's around. Not just because he's fun, because he's a good influence on Mia and that's helping them take some steps towards untangling their messy friendship. Zoe wouldn't have noticed about things were if he hadn't been around to push back on things and help Mia speak her mind, and she's thankful for that.

As she finishes her shower, Zoe is a touch more resolute and optimistic about the future. Her priorities have shifted. Streaming still has a hold on her mind. She wants to enjoy her career, but she wants to find a better balance, because today served as a bleak reminder of what all she'd put to the wayside in her pursuit of not success, but attention.

She doesn't know how she is going to accomplish this, but Oliver has been a great help so far, and she's going to put her trust in him tomorrow knowing that they're probably going to talk about all this. She goes to bed, pumps herself up by thinking first nap, then casual stream, then hang out with Oliver. She drifts off while hugging a body pillow increasingly tighter and tighter I, setting up a joke for later. I plan on Zoe having a habit of giving death hugs when she falls asleep cuddling.