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Dicktation Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker (Patreon)

Published:
2020-05-02 18:49:06
Edited:
2020-05-05 00:19:05
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Downloads

Content

Download the MP3 

Join Vito, Sean, and I as we watch the COMPLETE CINEMATIC FAILURE that is Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker. This was a lot of fun. Hopefully, it will make the movie watchable for you at home and for MAY THE FOURTH.

Click Play on the movie about ten seconds into this MP3 track. I say it out loud in the track so you can follow along. We watched the Google Play version, which starts immediately with the Lucas Film logo, so if your version doesn't start with the Lucas Film logo, line it up that way. Let me know if that doesn't work. I've done it a couple times. Syncs up perfectly!

Files

Comments

PastePotPete

This is the only thing that will get me to watch that pile of shit again. Thanks I guess?

Alex Wait

Thanks man! Love your stuff

Dert

thank you for your service

Richard Heck

I'll listen to it but not sure I can stomach watching that abortion of a movie over again lol

Richard Heck

So if Daisy Ridley looks like your sister it means your sister has your same prominent forehead

SkipperStewy

I fought cancer for 6 months and it would still be more fun than watching this film but guess I gotta do it.

Sheepdude

If your sister looks like Daisy Ridley then I definitely want to plow your sister, Dick.

Clyde Frog

At least Dick's sister will keep her fucking mouth closed some of the time, Daisy had to sign a contract that she would have her mouth hanging open in every scene of the new trilogy, a bold decision.

Clyde Frog

A fun game to play while watching this movie is to count the number of times you see a scene where Daisy Ridley's mouth is closed. That bitch has it hanging open the whole trilogy.

Mark King

What is this Star Wars you speak of?

Thomas Merhout

You mother fucker, I was trying not to watch this today.

Aaron Francis

Amazing way to spend May the 4th. Great stuff

DaShampooTester

Dick's reaction to the knife puzzle was priceless

Jandraden

Finally, an excuse to watch this shit movie... It saddens me that it must come to this, watching it while dicktated while working out at home because of confinement... No excitement whatsover

Patreoni tony

So much more enjoyable with commentary. Space black people was a highlight. Do more of these with shitty blockbuster movies with experts while poking holes using only a hint of scaling and physics.

John Benson

I guess I'll be watching this movie after all. Dicktations make even the worst movies a blast. Youre doing a great service to mankind.

Amazin

I love how Vito's ideal story for Kylo Ren is the exact story of Han's son in Legends

J W

You said “honor coin”. They’re called challenge coins. Unironically Pokémon cards for DoD bureaucrats. People collect them as a testament to who they’ve met, therefore a proof of “capability”. Appreciate the commentary especially with Vito.. Thanks for the laughs.

Mark King

This is how I decided to watch this movie for the first time. Worth it.

Mark King

The "Trotting out a bunch of corpses" bit made me almost choke on my food because I was laughing so hard. I shouldn't eat and listen. May be hazardous.

Dong Monkeyman

Watching this movie for the second time 06/24/2020. Movie is ten times better with the Dicktation. Thank you Dick "Jedi" Masterson!!! May the GFY be with you...