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JAMIE WANTS YOUR LIES (Patreon)

Published:
2024-07-04 08:37:19
Imported:
2026-06
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Comments

Jack May

Told the Mrs I was going to work and went 3 days in Barcelona she still doesn’t no to this day Yanited Yanited

Dylan Geary

Lied about not having parent when I was 7 for clout. Got caught out on parents evening

Nathan Rees

Not my lie but for some reason my step brother shat next to the toilet, he was like 7. He tried to pin it on the dog🤣

Jordan Hynes

My best one I have heard is one of my work colleagues has the Jew Star of David tattooed on his neck. So I said didn’t know you were Jewish. He responded well I thought I was till I was 17. His dad had convinced him that his family were Jewish and to the extent where his dad even for the same tattoo to carry it on but his mum then grassed them up, so he’s now a catholic lad with a Jew star on his heck for no fucking reason

Kenny

My grandma lied about being able to walk down the stairs on her own next thing you know ass over tit 1 hip down and put in a home gone but never forgotten

Scott Oneill

You lie to us every time you tell us you actually have ears!

John Hessey

I once lied to to a woman when i was 19 on a night out, i said i was 22, when she was 29, said i had my own house when in fact i lived in my mum and dads house with my 2 older brothers, convinced her to come back to mine and had a one night stand and managed to sneak her out afterwards without my brothers or my parents finding out. They still dont know to this day and still dont know how i managed to pull it off.

Alex

I burnt a shed down when I was 7, chucked a match into it and the plastic just melted, 5 minutes later it was up in flames, fire engines came etc I blamed it on some known nonce called Craig (nonce name as well) he got a telling off by the police, and I got a Pizza Hut buffet for my ‘trauma’

tom scarborough

A work friend just told me a bloke she knows of got pissed, shit the bed wiped it on his lasses back got cleaned up woke her and told her she shit the bed

Jake

My best is as a ten year old- camping in wales, family and loads of friends, dad’s mate John had a caravan next to our tent. It was the middle of the night and I needed a shit but was to scared to walk across the field to the toilet, so laid one of the biggest shits I’ve ever had (still to this day) right behind his caravan. The next day he’s going mad, who done this, I’m gonna kill em, foaming at the mouth with proper gypsy rage. There was another Bloke there called lee winny, who had took my water gun off me day before, so I told my dad i saw him doing it, and my dad told John. Him and winny had a proper scrap over it, so not only did I get away with the shit but I also got front row seats to a decent little bare knuckle scrap. They’re both dead now so I feel like I’ve fully gotten away with it

sophie

I vividly remember lying about knowing different celebrities when I was a kid, used to go about school saying I knew JLS when I literally despised their music 😭

Spenner

Once convinced my proper thick mate that I knew someone who had a wooden leg but with a real foot, believed me for years

Chris

I always use to see this bird in town every weekend. Blagged her for about 3/4 yrs that I worked for Sky sports. Fed her a load of bollocks about made up transfers and inside information about the club all of which I made up o. The spot. Was worth it managed to shag her in the disabled bogs in some moody boozer in town. Good times 😂

Ann Mynus

My sister lost her virginity about 6 times 😂

Stewart

When I was 14 I told my mum I was gay so I could have birds stay the night. The ruse didn't last long as she caught me hanging out the back of one a few weeks later.

Tony Richardson

I cheated on my gf and lied to her about it for a year even though deep down she knew then one night I was off my face and admitted it and let's just say I can dodge flying objects better pissed then when I'm sober 😃

Jake

My best lie was getting a sick watch and 32k from just giving. Top one x

Charlotte🤍

I lied about sleeping with my exs best friend and to this day I still deny it