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WE WANT YOUR CONFESSIONS!! (Patreon)

Published:
2024-01-14 20:54:26
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

The first of our weekly live shows is this week and we want to get you guys involved.

Message me (privately if you want to stay anonymous) your confessions and we’ll read the best ones on the live show!

It doesn’t just have to be confessions… any story you think may be funny for Jamie or Tony to read/react to on stage!

Files

Previews only

Comments

Matty Rutter

As if I'd give the Krays the means to blackmail me. Nice try.

Chris Spencer

Once went to pick up some weed, and went to the wrong car. Car had a family in it 🤦🏼‍♂️🤣🤣🤣

JACK WALSGROVE

There’s a bloke that runs past my house bare foot every other day around 5-5:30, winds me up so much that he does it bare foot that whenever it’s bin day I always leave make sure to leave a bit of runny food on the floor so his feet get caked in it

Max

I cost my school 2 grand for taking a shit on a school trip bus. Service station food, too much sugar and the general motion of the bus cooked up quite the concoction in my lower region. After holding it in for as long as I could, the turtle began to peek from his shell. After giving the toilet a good seeing to, I flushed and immediately blocked it. Water and shite rising to the rim and onto the floor. Sheepishly I returned to my seat, but before long someone else had to go number 1. Sensing danger, I immediately piped up, blaming the quiet, weird kid who wouldn't have the confidence to stand up for himself ( shit house move I know, pardon the pun). Anyway, long story short, they needed to refit the plumbing and a whole new toilet, costing the school just over 2k. I never owned up, so it's nice to get this off my chest. Love the pod, keep up the good work P.s. Despite his claims, Tony clearly is arsed.

Owen Waller

What’s happening Danny lad I once shat in the bin at a hotel Was the last night of the holiday, me and my brother (probably like age 10 and 12) were both brushing our teeth, and for some reason starting spitting the toothpaste all over, and found it hilarious. After laughing for about half an hour, my brother joked that it’d be funny if one of us poo in the bin, and at the time I needed a shit. So I went to the bathroom and squatted over the bin, then after a few seconds realised what I was doing, so tried to stop, but instead nipped off a little bit of poo. The worst thing was with post shit clarity, I decided not to tell my brother or parents, so just left it for the cleaners to find the next day. I imagine Jamie has also left feaces and/or body fluids in some places before, so interesting to hear his take on this 😂

Tyler Farn

what’s happening fella in year 11 i went on a school trip to London and we stayed in a Travelodge for the 2 nights we were there. on the final day before we left me and my mates wanted to end the on a bang, so what we did was: filled the kettle with toilet water and put a opened yogurt under the bed. we wanted to leave a upper decker (shit in the top of the toilet) but the back was concealed.

Declan New

One of my school mates had a mad fit sister. Me and another lad stayed over at his one time. The other lad took a pair of her nickers out from her bedroom and robbed them. He used to sniff them and wank over them all the time. She must’ve asked where these nickers have gone and word got around that someone nicked them so my mate buried them in his garden next to his dead hamster.

Nathaniel Archer

How do I message in privately 🤣 ? I’ve got a wild one 🤣

Max Leonard

During my uni presentation last month (50% of my grade) I was listening to you before it was my turn, when I get on I’ve put my phone in my back pocket and started presenting half way though the presentation the podcast unpauses and it’s on a part where Jamie’s talking about fancing his mum and I couldn’t turn it off and I panicked and chucked my phone and my mates come in from the other room to turn it off. Worst part is the. Tutors didn’t even laugh, least I got an alright grade like

Liam

I went on a school trip back in year 11 in 2015 with my D&T teacher in Buxton for this weekend trip where you do these assault courses rock climbing shit etc, and when all the teachers were downstairs at night getting pissed on wine I thought it would be a good idea to wrap our teachers shoes up in clingfilm and tape them to the ceiling and tape other things up but the best thing was he had an en-suite in his room so I went into his bathroom and clingfilmed the toilet seat left the room and carried on the night, 4:30am the next morning me and 4 lads I was sharing a room with were woken up to a door being banged on and booted open 😂, fucking thought I was back in Ashton under lyne, anyway it was the teacher going on a mad one about going toilet in the middle of the night and then realising halfway through that his piss isn’t going into the bowl and instead it’s making it’s own pool on top of the clingfilm, so everyone stays quiet and denies obviously but as he turned away I still remember seeing his piss stained trackie bottoms as he leaves the room 😂🤦🏻‍♂️. Anyway fast forward nearly 10 years and i find out that this teacher is the uncle to my girlfriends mum 😂, and they had a family get together at Xmas but I couldn’t make it so her mum gets talking about me to see if he remembered me and what does she do she asks him if he remembers this incident he said he did and she went and grassed me up for it 😂🤦🏻‍♂️ 10 fucking years I nearly got away with that. Sorry for the long winded story lads be easiest to say it in person rather than messages