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Sad Boyz Nightz #10 - "The Birthday Limo Story" [VIDEO] (Patreon)

Published:
2023-05-12 21:40:29
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

The Boyz went out to celebrate Kurtis, Jordan, and Jarvis's birthdays and things got little bit wacky.

danny was there too

Comments

Izzy

Hi guys! Izzy here from the retail story :) first of all ty for the good energy, no more spider incidents to report! to maybe clear up any confusion, they did not have a receipt, they brought the item in and told me when they had gotten it (there was also a tag with our company logo on it so it was definitely from us). Also, that day there was an antiques market outside our store and we think that kind of attracted some interesting people? My manager thinks the customer might've found that spider outside and just thrown it at me spontaneously which is not comforting at all but at least I guess they did not bring a spider with the intention of throwing it. We generally get a lot of weird customers, like one time when someone asked me if they could pay with Deutsche Mark, a currency that has not been in circulation here in Germany since like? the early 2000s? retail is insanity fr, can't wait to hear the others' stories!! lots of love :)

Lilith June Seraph

I knew about Sadboyz from Jarvis's main channel , but never checked it out because im not the biggest into podcasts . but after watching some of the shorts i got super interested !

Melissa Luna

melissa, she/her! so as a former(ish?) retail worker, i am a victim of the math problem menaces. and by that i mean i used to work at best buy and sometimes id work the pickup section. and one day a guy comes up saying he's here to pick up an air fryer. i go to the back and to my surprise it is not one, not two, but TEN AIRFRYERS. and SURELY i cant carry all of the by myself, so i take them out few at a time by handcart. and then this guy starts giving me attitude that i wasnt juggling 10 all at the same time?? and even when i was done scanning all ten, he still wanted me to juggle all ten to his CAR without him doing anything? like FUCK YOU BRO YOU BOUGHT THESE 10 AIR FRYERS ITS YOUR PROBLEM NOW. a grudge i will carry til my dying day. (also on my very first day there was a robbery which was super cool! and one time i accidentally stoke like 150 bucks of robux but that's neither here nor there :) best buy was crazy)

Theodora Undergrove

I listened to both the Spotify episode and this episode today! I went on a big walk listening to them, it was really nice the weather was perfect and the clouds were pretty. I got some special stuff from a place and got some kitty litter, because I needed it. My dumb butt thought it was a good idea but I had to walk myself home (far walk!! I am physically weak!) And it was a struggle to say the least. I must've put this phone in my pocket wrong because the podcast ended mysteriously quick and the two never talked about the Limo story???? Turns out the way I positioned my phone caused it to skip basically half the pod and I never noticed??? Anyway listened to this while playing battlefield and it was super funny, and it was a great story. Again thank you boys and God bless

elliequent

ellie, she/her i once had a lady growl at me. she was relatively older, maybe late sixties. i work in the retail section of a restaurant with a gift shop attached to it, and we handle the payment of to-go orders. i had put the receipt for her to-go order on the counter, and slid it closer to me to see if a specific item she was asking about had been added to the check. she growled and pulled the receipt back to her, so i backed off and stayed as far away as possible until she left.

Drawn at Random

Happy birthday, Boyz! I (Em, she/they) have a customer-service story that incidentally takes place around *my* birthday, eons ago when I was a teen, at my first job. I was up front at the customer-service desk when a younger staffperson who worked out on the floor came up to me and said a customer had passed her a note (!) and that he had asked her to give it to me. I have the decade-old note to this day (the date's written on top, which is how I also know it was the day after my birthday), and it takes up an entire half-sheet of copy paper on one side. It starts out "Dear [my first name -- he must've gotten it off my name badge]" followed by a halfhearted pencil sketch of an Eye of Horus, leading into an introductory line of "What's up Miss Fine," then some overwrought rambling about wanting to see a movie with me but being too nervous to ask in person. It's signed "JOE" -- in quotation marks -- and then says "How old are you?" (also in quotation marks, underlined six times). There are a bunch of hearts drawn on the bottom of the page. The back, almost as an afterthought, has the name JOE again, an address to meet at, and "Give Me your Number" also underlined about six times. There are no drawings on this side. :) thanks "Joe," you absolute menace, for the birthday gift of an unsettling story to tell my friends for many years to come.

Xira

Nix (she/her) 🔞 slight nsfw content warning Hey guys, love the pod! Finally an opportunity to share some of weird things customers have said to me. For context, I’m 22 and work in a lingerie/sleepwear store. 1. “Are you as innocent as you sound? What are you, 16..17?” (From a man old enough to be my great grandfather. This was also one week into my job…) 2. “Do you sleep naked?” (for visuals picture stephen hawkings but with a less fancy wheel chair. And apparently I’m not the first??? this old nugget is riding around the mall making it his mission to make women uncomfortable.) 3. “Do you need a model? Do you need a kinky model, I’m already in handcuffs.” (I don’t even know what the fuck this was. I think some teenage kids were messing around with handcuffs at the mall and one the guys was dared to come up and say that to me) Bonus nighty nightssss: We’ve had to have a customer escorted out of the store for quite literally jerking off with the store’s items on in the dressing rooms. Obviously we don’t have cameras in there but it’s a relatively small store with no sound proofing. But thank god he didn’t finish cuz I would have been on clean up duty 😭

Frank

I don’t actively seek out the YouTube shorts but I do see them and watch them all the way through. Normally I’ve already seen the full episode before the shorts get to me.

Arielle

Arielle she/her I was a retail worker for 7 years (including 2020 fun times) so I have stories galore. I'll do quick ones to get a few in. 1.The time the store was closing at 9 so we closed the fitting room at 8:45 to start cleaning and a French man literally bent over and farted towards me because I told him the fitting room was closed it was 8:55. 2.The time a man wanted to let me know he likes black girls by signing up he's email address telling me it's chocolatelover123 and winking at me. 3.The other man who wanted me to know he likes black girls by telling me "the blue and gray suits are nice but he's into black" and winking at me. 4. My male coworker and I being asked by a couple if we'd like to swing with them. One lady stole the customer bathroom toilet seat. She put it in her baby carriage and left. 5.The customer who went to every store in Manhattan including mine to masturbate in fitting rooms. 6.The time we caused a break up, guy comes in pees on the floor and we kick him out because duh. He's girlfriend was with him and tries to buy he's stuff for him. She was on a different floor and came and got the bag of clothes he left. We remembered the clothes and was like yeah we not selling to him and she's like "what did he do" so we told her she called and said "I'm not buying the clothes and we're done!" Just to name a few stories.

z 🐛

hi im z they/them! i worked at a barnes and noble cafe here are some highlights! once i had to tell a customer to please stop cutting her toenails in the cafe. once someone left a now deleted review complaining about the "mouthy little green haired (homophobic slur)" (me!) also people yelled at me bc i couldn't accept starbucks gift cards and i just had to be like "dude i cannot code the systems to make that happen" !!! wild times also when i was 17 working there a probably 85 year old man asked me if i was single and asked me out While his wife was standing next to him ! good show yall

Olivia Ross

Heyo! You can call me Olivia (my pronouns are she/her) and I have two stories related to working in call centers. 1) I worked in a donation call center and if you didnt meet the quota for donations you would get sent home early which happened to everyone all the time. During one shift I was 100$ short and got a warning that I might get sent home early so I was extra motivated to get donations. I finally got a call where someone was going to donate AND they were going to donate the 100$ amount I needed. As I was getting their financial information for the donation my co-worker beside me stepped on the power cord that was connecting our work stations to the outlet and shut off my computer and phone so I lost the donation. I ended up getting sent home early shortly after :( 2) A few years later I worked in a tech support call center and one day I got stuck on a call for over 1 hour and 45 minutes going over different basic cyber security measures (vpns, using protonmail,password security etc) with a customer because they were paranoid about their information being online. At first I didnt mind but after the 20 minute mark every piece of information I gave them was positioned in a way to end the call (im only allowed to talk to customers for an average time of 7 minutes or less but I was trying to be nice cause he seemed really stressed out and at this call center you couldnt end the call yourself you have to 'position' the customer to initiate the end of the call themselves which they absolutely were not doing). The rest of the call (so for about 1 hour) was the customer telling me about their plan to take over the internet with the information I had provided (he also said that he had information that could 'collapse the canadian government') and that I should join their plan. I ended up getting in trouble with my manager because of the length of the call :(

JessicaM

A few insane retail stories: Worked at Trader Joes and have just so many things. 1: had a lady that would buy like 300$ worth of stuff but would not let you scan anything. So you would have to type in the barcode for every item. She thought that the scanner would somehow give her cancer. 2:had a dude casually try to pay with a 20$ that was covered in blood. He cut himself somewhere in the store and just like bled all over his money like it wasn't a big deal. 3: not at TJ's. At a deli i worked at someone threw a pound of liverwurst at my head because they didn't like how it was sliced.

chronicrow

Nico he/him you can say my name 👍 I used to work in a grocery store as a self-checkout manager. i was one of the only visibly gnc guys there, my hair was dyed black and red and i just generally made it a point to look edgy as fuck to cope with the immense burden of retail work. old guy approaches me indignantly and says "Hey!!!" [pause] "You're a handsome young man. Why'd you go and put red in your hair??? What will the ladies think???" me: "I dunno. I guess I'd have to ask them." him: "How are you going to get a girlfriend???" [he sounds genuinely upset] me: "I have a boyfriend so I'm not really worried about it" him: "Well.. hhnnhn...girls.. ............... " [angry mumbling] [he walks away] my partner mentioned doesnt use gendered terms/ pronouns anymore (unless its funny) but i love to tell this story. the most delightful times in retail were spent weaponizing my homosexuality against 80 year old men

SarahBearBaby

i always watch the shorts because, like jarvis says, it’s like a little laugh (a teehee, if you will) and another edited version of the cool fun joke from the pod i watched a few days previous. it makes me happy that others who don’t usually watch podcasts will possibly see the good content these good boys are putting out!! but also youtube shorts has also been broken on the youtube iOS app for me for a while though, so I have to watch them through youtube in my safari browser lmao. anyone else been having this issue?

Alek.Sparks

Alight so I've got two stories from my time working at Dairy Queen, a job I held for two and a half years after being hired the day after my 14th birthday. 1) This story is from about two months or so into working the job. Again, I was only 14 years old, this was my first "real" job, and I was a big introvert and often incredibly nervous. One day, an old man comes in and he orders two large fries, extra ketchup, extra napkins, to go. I ring him up, wait for the food to get made, give it to him (with the extra ketchup and napkins that he watched me put in). Fast forward to over 40 minutes later, the old man is back. I was alone up front: most of my coworkers were on break, and my shift leader was in the back doing paycheck stuff. This old man seizes the opportunity to start yelling at me. He complains that he usually goes to a DQ five minutes away from his house, but he drove 25 minutes to come here because our fries are better. However, this time the fries were cold by the time he got home to his wife (shocker! not like it was 25 minutes away or anything). He also complained that I added too many ketchup packets and too many napkins. Anyway, he yelled at me until I cried and my shift leader finally noticed and came up front to diffuse the situation. 2) We had this regular customer we called "grilled cheese lady". She would always come through the drive through and order kids meals with grilled cheese, usually somewhere between three and five of them, and each time she had different specifications. Sometimes she wanted one cut diagonally, the other horizontally, another with the crust off. Or she'd ask for one to have american cheese and another to have shredded cheddar cheese. Just very convoluted requests like that where she mixed and matched modifications. And every single time she would say we got something wrong with her order, even if we made it exactly to her specifications. We dreaded her coming to the window, and one time she ruined my shift's drive through time (during a competition between shifts!!) because instead of pulling around front to talk to our assistant manager, she insisted on talking to her for 45 minutes at the drive through window since there weren't any customers behind her.

setareh

jarvis, that accent at the beginning sounds a lot like 2D from gorillaz !!

Ratprints

I don't watch shorts but its because my type of lack-of-focus is having something on in the background at all times, and I feel like I have to actually *properly pay attention* to shorts. So that's a me thing :P

Drawn at Random

"Well.. hhnnhn...girls.. ............... " actually so true bestie, brave of him to say it

toot moreno

thank you for adding subtitles! i couldn’t hear before lmao

jacob DeVries

I got one from a call center for insurance billing, it was my first month on the job and they just opened up to hours past 5pm. I was the only person on from 5-7pm and most of the company outside of the call center were gone after 5. So I get a call at about 5:30-5:45ish on a Friday and this person’s policy was cancelled because their mortgage company didn’t pay the bill. So they start the call by screaming saying every name in the book and so on for nearly 45 minutes before I could say a world in edgewise. At which point I explain the situation and say I don’t have the authority to reinstate and there is nothing that can be done until Monday. This sets them off more for like another 30 min asking for the manager and so on, I tell them I’m only one in and at that point the guy on the phone asks the representative from the mortgage co to explain. I had no clue another person was on the phone and this poor girl had have been on this call for 2 hours plus because I was on nearing an hour and a half. We get the point where again I say I can’t do anything it’s too late and no one is in, the guy on the phone then calls his insurance agent who then in turn screams at me (note they know how we operated and knew we couldn’t help at this point) for another 40ish minutes it’s now nearing 8pm I’ve been on for an hour more than my time and I finally got off the phone call. It was the worst customer interaction in my 14 years of working with/around the public and it forever changed how I call people no matter the circumstances. (You can use mine if it’s interesting name is Jake (they/them))

AprilMaeJuneJ

I’ve started watching YouTube shorts a bit recently and it’s insane how fast you go from liking a sad boys clip to getting sucked down some alt right pipeline

aetherville

i have never watched a youtube short in my life 💀

Sarah

i personally don’t watch shorts but may occasionally click on one if i see it and im bored!

🌸 Carly 🌸

Every short I've ever watched has been an accident.

Jennifer Edmonson

Danni they/them tldr fathers day family police threat. I worked walmart 3 yrs and around 2nd yr a family of 4 comes in with the 2 youngish looking boys holding beer. Walmart policy is card everyone in a party if any alchohol is sold. So i ask and he gets frustrated, the mom steps in and says its fathers day hes just carrying it. I explain im on camera doing my job. Page my manager and she threatens to call the police and my manager has to finally say ill do it for u to shut her down and they all leave with nothing

Drawn at Random

Same, they're also a convenient delivery method if I want to quickly show someone else a few highlights without explaining the whole show to them

Holly Drzycimski

Wahlburgers are really common in the midwest. Mark is partner with the midwest grocery store chain I work at, so they have locations in many of those stores. It's a very unremarkable restaurant and no one ever goes there or talks about it.

Malmie's Cozy Mail Club

Malmie she/they, Mannequin Man So I work at a vintage store and we have a lot of old mannequins that we dress up in the vintage clothing. One day this man came in and wandered around for a while, and I noticed he was taking a lot of pictures of our mannequins. My boss noticed too and was acting weird about it, like it made her uncomfortable somehow. After a while he walked up to the front desk and told me he likes to collect pictures of mannequins and tries to capture their personalities in the photos. He showed me some pictures and they were not what you would expect from a professional photographer so it was clear he just did this as a hobby. He was generally polite but something just felt off, maybe because of how my boss was acting. Once he left, my boss told me she was worried that he was this creep that is well-known in town for going to vintage shops just to feel up the mannequins. But that’s not all he would do — if he found one wearing a fur coat he would jerk off in it and then leave!!!!!! I don’t know if that guy was the fur coat creep, but we have had other weird/gross things happen there so I wouldn’t have been surprised. Maybe that guy just had an odd hobby and meant no harm, but I now understand why my boss is careful not to leave a mannequin undressed.

David Pandich

Yes I learned about you from a short. The one featuring Link where he reacts to that TikTok. I think prior to that I was served one of your shorts with Eddy, but it was definitely the Link short that converted me into a subscriber. I clearly recall navigating to your channel from that short.

Skaldaxe

Axe, He/They, One of my absolute favorite stories that I think would still be within the topic and I tell all my friends. TLDR; popup stores give 0 shits, my manager was insane. So to set the tone my interview for Spirit Halloween I came in and the manager chilled on an L-cart and had me sit on a lawn chair, then he got bored of the questions and said I seemed chill so hired me and gave me some hours. This is the most chill job I have ever had because no one cared about it at all. So one night I am running the register in early October. Fairly easy, not the Halloween rush yet. I see this lady grabbing stuff and giving me a weird look so I get the vibe she was just grabbing and running, but we don't really care, and we don't have security so what am I gonna do. Have at it, that stuff's probably leftover from four years ago. Anyway she dashes for the door at the same time my manager has started coming in, and he starts to chase her. Which is weird to me because in my head I was like 'we can't do that aren't we supposed to just let it happen?' but as I think this I hear her shout at him 'YOU CANT CHASE ME' and to which he shouts back as they are sprinting out the door 'IM OFF THE CLOCK BITCH' and the two race towards the woods next to our store. About 10 minutes later manager comes back with a bunch of the stuff and I clock out that night with a memory and question. what happened in the woods?! Anyway it's a parking lot now but that memory is like burned into my brain.

Liberty

I am the same girl from Twitter that said yes to finding you guys from Shorts lol. Edit: I guess I'm watching this one? I don't usually, I mostly support podcasts I want to keep going.

Sarah

god that numb/encore story is so real, put that on when i’m in the room and im telling you shit is about to get real

It's a-me

She/ her I worked a couple summers at the bookstore/ front desk of a National Park that commemorated the Wright Brothers, Paul Laurence Dunbar, some Adena mounds, and other Dayton, Ohio, and aviation history. I was used to people entering belligerent to plant a hand on my counter and demand "what does OHIO have to do with the WRIGHT BROTHERS???" And I had my diplomatic spiel about how the WBs lived in Dayton their entire lives (except Wilbur being born in Indiana), had a printing business and a bicycle business on this block, lived one block from this location, built their prototypes here, and eventually established their airport and flying school here and never returned to Kittyhawk once they had a viable build. "So both states' license plates are correct! North Carolina was first in flight because of the perfect conditions of the dunes they traveled to to test the gliders and prototypes. But Ohio is the birthplace of aviation." Most people willing to go to a museum with free admission go "hunh that's cool to learn" and explore the park. One dude, after going through the whole place and making a purchase in the bookstore got outraged with me giving him his change. "I DON'T ACCEPT FAKE MONEY" he bellowed. I was confused until he explained that Ohio quarters are A LIE because they say "birthplace of aviation" on them. He'd already been through the museum so I was baffled but I said "well sir I've already closed my cash drawer but if you'd like you can deposit it in our donation box." [gesture] Overall it was a sweet gig with many quiet days and I read all the Shakespeare plays I hadn't read yet and tried to teach myself to whistle in the times no guests were in the building, so the weirdos stand out.

gabi

I got so excited when you posted the numb/encore clip. My boyfriend and I still listen to that album on a regular basis and for his birthday last year I commissioned a painting of the album cover from an artist friend!! It’s one of his most prized possessions now. Also, the official emo nite that tours around is originally based in Portland I believe and is run by Andy Hurley’s gf!!!!

gabi

I've definitely had some very negative interactions working both in a call center and in retail, but I am choosing to tell a positive story instead. I used to work at a Paper Source in Philly and Carey Mulligan randomly came in once (I think she was in town because she was performing in a show at a local theater or something). The weeping angels episode of Doctor Who is one of my favorite episodes of all time so I was extremely excited when I realized who I was talking to haha. I ended up helping her find some things and ringing her up and she was incredibly lovely and beautiful and she gave me a tip for assisting her (which probably happened less than five times in the year I worked there). -Gabi, she/her

lukeh

william shatner was ninety years old when he went to fucking SPACE on an ACTUAL ROCKET SHIP

Kaitlin Stevens

Could honestly listen to jarvis doing voices or impressions for hours

Olivia O'Neill

liv she/her - weird customer story: I spilt a woman's cappuccino on the saucer and had to make another one. brought it over with her and her husband's poached eggs only to be told they were too hard and that I'd ruined their whole anniversary weekend. I was making £4.25 an hour so not paid enough to care let alone feel any emotions at this revelation 🙏

Olivia O'Neill

Liv she/her - a man got really angry with me because I brought his meal out with normal peas but he wanted mushy peas. the strength it took to not stick my hand in and squish them up in front of him

Haven Himmi

im pretty sure if you like your discord to your patreon, your memberships are auto added/removed

Tea

Hey Jarvis your beans will stay fresh longer if you put them in a ziplock in the freezer!

Matthew Skinner-Thebo

We are assaulted by Wahlburgers here in Iowa. I swear to god between appearances from Marky Mark and 50 Cent I can’t walk into any HyVee in my area without checking ahead.

Matthew Skinner-Thebo

So you have to be around those awful looped videos of him working out that they play in the health food section? Thoughts and also prayers to you.

Yessica

Wait what, that's insane. So you can't buy alcohol if you have children with you?

Shalini S

I watch and like the shorts! They are also easier to share with friends and stuff

Eric Caprioli

pam is so kobeni core from chainsaw man

macdo226

If you have your discord linked to Patreon it will invite you automatically

FellowWhoDonates

Sad Boyz Highlights channel is really how I got back into watching the show after a break. That said, when I first started watching it was just off the original sad boyz channel so it’s hard to say. I did not find it through YouTube shorts

listerine

those kurtis impressions sparked something

soap

Oooo if you watched Jake and Amir an also like DND do also watch some of the not another DND podcast !

Catarina Erba

I worked as a paralegal from 2020 to 2022 at two different firms for two different sectors of law, and let me tell you Jarvis and Jordan are 103% correct about lawyers not seeing the value in making sure their clients understand the process they’re helping them with. The legal system is so stupidly complicated in every aspect and it’s almost like learning a second language to decipher legalese in documents and in speaking with attorneys. It sounds like Jordan’s attorneys are at least decent in speaking with clients, my last boss was a huge ass and would talk shit to clients all the time and treat them like they were stupid for not understanding what he was talking about 🙄

Tinna Gigja

I was googling William Shatner and one of the things "people also ask" was "Did William Shatner his wife?" and I can't stop laughing.

Emmett Tucker

I watch your shorts when they’re posted on Instagram, but not on YouTube. I don’t know why, YouTube shorts just don’t gel with my brain

Hayden Mason

i found the show through youtube shorts. i was a big fan of jarvis’ main channel and then kept seeing shorts with other creators like kurtis or danny and started watching from those episodes.

Ethan Provençal

I found Sad Boyz thru YouTube autoplay after a Gold vid!! best accident 🥹

sunny

found out about the show through a community post

Jori

I have loved every single Fall Out Boy album. Every. Single. One.

refillpan

i know sf is not a small town but hearing jarvis mention a club I've been to is surreal

Balloon

Sad Boyz is my favorite show to binge while working.. and nobody knows 👀

edie moose

thinking about you guys being at DNA lounge is crazy 😭

binapple

it would be so cool to see Freddie Dredd on the podcast 😭