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Fulltimeology (Patreon)

Published:
2024-07-22 10:00:13
Imported:
2026-06

Content

Big news for the snake nation! Join us as we discuss #fulltimeology, Madeline's jelly cat addiction, Katy Perry's 'situation room' following the release of Woman's World, the exposé of male predators in swiftie spaces, and a long overdue deep dive into the life and times of our patron saints Michael Duvall and Danielle Walsh. Enjoy!

Comments

elliesgroupie

yesss first kiki lounge of my patreon subscription!!!!!!

Shane

lock the door… let’s have a KIKI

elliesgroupie

oh i really want that snake plush

sousou

tell me why I’m excited to read michael duvall in the caption lmao i love hearing you discuss his life 😂

courtney

I have won so hard, I have a flight today and the snakes have delivered premium entertainment 🙏

Ailbhe o Reilly

OMG please do a Dublin show, I'll be in the front row!! 🥰

elliesgroupie

the all access snake pass will replace ALL my subscriptions, no more need for disney plus, netflix, hbo, etc, the snakes are everything, everywhere, all at once

maryna

what about visiting germany? 😃 cologne, hamburg, berlin are worth a visit! 😃 also, madeline: barcelona is the most beautiful city ever. i kid you not! the gaudí architecture is so beautiful and so colorful, you would love it so much, i swear. it's unlike anything you ever saw!

Hayley Unwin

In fairness to Danielle the Alcotraz experience is for you to smuggle in alcohol for the bar people to make cocktails for you so she was doing what she was supposed to do- though perfect for her!! They have it in London too so if you come back you should try 🤣

GW

I would love to see you both write Taylor Swift take down monologues in the style of Azealia Banks and present them to each other

Haoua Cisse

The synchronized "Get out of here" love that

maddie

omfg you guys have to go to buccees and vlog ur reaction it’s truly a different universe in there..

Shelley-Marie

Getting fed by the snakes so well on my lunch break. Also, channel memberships?! TAKE MY MONEYYYYYY

Jenna Benna

Omg girl… so buckees is this thing in the south.. it’s basically a Walmart x home goods x gas station… THEYRE HUGE… you should google it it’s actually wild

Josh

the work story is CRAZY

Vivika

YAYYYY CONGRATS ZACH!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Kate!!!

wait omgoodness i cannot believe you’ve never heard of buc-ees?? it might be just a southern thing but it’s the best gas station for road trips! it’s known for having clean bathrooms and merch LOL ppl literally have sweatshirts for this place

Dea

Hello! Italian snakeologist here waiting for Madeline to plan her bellissimo European trip and show her around 😃

CyrusNomadix

"No such thing as a casual hentai enjoyer". Not true lol Congrats Zach! I heard 'Suburban Legends' playing at a Raising Cane's last night. Random choice lol

Melinda

Congrats to the swiftologist for quitting the job. And Madeline, you need to visit a buc-ees. It’s the worst place on earth but also i did consider buying a buc-ees themed swimsuit there… well because it’s hilarious. People in the south go crazy for buc-ees. My girlfriend works on cars and comes home to tell me how many people have buc-ees themed stuffed animals and bumper stickers on their cars. Anyway, yes go to buc-ees and tell me everything you think on lizard review.

Erin S

Surprised there isn’t Scooters in Montana. I know I’ve seen them in Nebraska when visiting family, so I thought it was a Midwest chain. We don’t have them in Virginia, but I think it’s like Dunkin or Dutch Bros Coffee.

caroline

Nashville snake reporting in - I am once again asking you all for a Nashville show, where I will call the bluebird cafe myself to schedule a date and take y’all to Buc-ees, known to us southerners as “a chain of travel centers known for clean bathrooms and many fueling positions.”

majesticwestwick

I just bought my baby nephew a Buccees swimsuit💀 I told my sister it’s ironic but I’m not sure

Liz

Buc-ees is a giant truck stop along highways in the south. Think like Walmart size. They have a cute gopher as a mascot and like a cult following for their in house snack stuff (trail mix, jerky, etc) and merch. People are obsessed - think like if Trader Joe’s was a giant truck stop and had merch.

Hannah

When Zach said weekly Pop Culture Wrap, I definitely heard Weekly Pop Culture Rap, and was extremely intrigued as to how that would go.

Syd

CONGRATS Zach, proud of you boo! ✨

Kate Ayers

Y'all need to visit Buc-ees on your EOAS Worldwide Tour™️ whenever you go to Texas lmao you'll be gagged it's a magical place. The Disney of gas stations if you will

Makayla

And thissss is why we only stream Tess!! So sick and disgusting, I hope these frightful men stay away

ProvoloneWanderer

If zach gets memberships up, I am so seated with my card ready. If he links this patreon to it, so I can actually keep track of what I have watched/listened to in the YT app? Bellisma!!!

Rose

I feel so effing stupid about the tshockeybro bullshit. I only started watching his streams for the euro leg because I couldn't find any twitch streams. I was so annoyed by him all the time (I would put my phone over his face so I didn't have to see him) but kept watching because my dumbass didn't even put it together that it wasn't just annoying it was predatory. Fuck that guy.

LadyQ

Oh I wish you two would catfish that hockey bro pervert. I bet you could get him to reveal some pretty dark stuff...

MonsefMA

Hell no. Kim Gordon is a legend. She’s a member of the even more legendary punk and rock band Sonic Youth. She’s always been honest and upfront (shes literally punk). She even wrote a diss about LL Cool J for being misogynistic in an interview she did with him back in the day. And to be clear, not even Tinashe wanna be associated with Azealia and frankly Taylor aint shit if Kim says so

chappell roan

i always hated ts hockey bro, but i had to watch the streams every day for surprise songs plus the paris show and stuff, i didn’t have a choice. so glad there are more streaming options now! (if anyone needs it, Ammir Shah on YouTube is doing livestreams for the rest of the Eras Tour, and he is a lot less annoying plus also not half naked half the time or talking to minors 😀)

Carrson

Katy definitely misread the 2010s nostalgia as let me work with Dr Luke again and not Bonnie McKee or Max Martin…also Woman’s World is maybe allegedly an Ava Max reject which is just sad

Raphaëlle

Congrats on leaving your job zack!!!! Notice periods are the fucking worst - mine is 3 months 😭

stringbeans

So upset about tshockeybro, I've switched to Ammir Shah on YouTube. Ruining it for the normal good men that just want to genuinely be apart of our community. Hope he gets what he deserves.

Terry B

Madeline, if your house is out of room, try putting some in your car? Some of my stuff animals (e.g. Loaghtan 3-horn lamb from Isle of Man postal office 🐑 😍) are in my backseat — a basket of stuffies seat-belted — so that they will stay safe in case of a collision 🤣

Terry B

Appreciate alerting us of online grooming predators! We gotta have TAYBOURHOOD watch!!! Where law fails to protect our swiftie juniors, we must! It’s 21st century 😓

Terry B

cowgirl salon video of I can really fix him…? Nightmare to Zach: a video of Florida(!) 🤣

Raphaëlle

YouTube memberships?? Take my money pweazeeee

Lydia

Y’all are the funniest people in the world. I could listen to you talk for hours and hours on end.

Maxi Schäfer

I would’ve chosen my boy only breaks his fav toys as the lead single. Idk, something about a blank space 2.0 music video where she tears stuff up, would’ve been so iconic.

vlada

Idk if anyone ever thought this, but in my mind (it just came to me a few days ago) the perfect first single for TTPD is Fresh Out the Slammer. I think it perfectly sets the scene of what happened and how (unexpectedly) impactful it was. Maybe it would've been a bit of a too artistic-y choice, but idk, to me it clicks. But also yeah, down bad would be a killer visual ofc ofc.

Krista 🤓🫀🧠

On behalf of all the elder millennials/almost Gen Xers who bought the lie that the more you suffer at work the greater the eventual reward, bravo for escaping our fate at such a young age. I’ll be a patron for life just to live vicariously through you 😂👏🏻

G

Honestly just dedicate the whole trip to Italy there’s way too much worth immersing yourself in there!

Cynthia

Really good you called out creeper hockeypro or whatever he is called; he sucked everyone in because he was streaming every single show and we all have tuned in -- he will fizzle out when the tour ends....always people like this appear during mass hype

Casey Fison

i’m sattttt i get so excited for eoas 🤭🤭

Abby

I neeeed the guilty as sin music video!!!! It really would heal the world 😌 now let's get 13 management on the phone...

Lea

Scooters is not great. There’s sooooo many coffee places in the south. I saw he also went to 7brew. Bucees is like if Walmart was a gas station.

ninamae4

congrats on your new journey!!!!! check out the youtube model Emily D Baker uses…. she’s had really good grassroots success….

Ally ❤️

I’m on AJay’s Patreon and her reaction to Woman’s World was scathing. 😬

ninamae4

elder millennial here in solidarity…..💛

nicole

On the topic of creepy straight men, there was also a local record store owner called Jwray Records who had heaps of Swiftie customers that he was making uncomfortable and messaging inappropriately, and even went as far to try and solicit nudes from them. This guy still has his business too, but I did email local news websites that had done articles about him and got them taken down. I also got called homophobic recently for saying that in female spaces you need to trust women, because I didn’t specify that it didn’t include gay men and that it’s “not all men” 😅

kody

Where will the phone-a-snake hotline be posted? Just wondering this is my first month on the Patreon 😭

Swiftologist

we're figuring out how to take voice mails now that our hosting platform has migrated :) stay tuned!

Swiftologist

Just like eras tour resell … to dust they shall return …

Lia

“Taylor ain’t shit if Kim says so” now hold up a minute do you not realize we are on a Taylor Swift-centered Patreon right now?? Did you get lost en route to the Evolution of a Kim Gordon Patreon?????? 🤨🤨🤨🤨

MonsefMA

Am I supposed to align my opinions with the collective? Have I transgressed against the chruch? Taylor still ain’t shit if kim says so

Michaela Wagner

we need an anthology single and a DREARY, fog filled anthology music video

Sarah B

Congratulations Zach! New to the Patreon, I’m curious how long have you been “The Swiftologist?” How long have you been building this brand that you are now able to pursue full time?

Madeline

Ironically, it seems like you’re completely aligning your opinions with your version of the messiah

Abigail Wilson

everybody did cheer!! congrats zach!!! onto bigger and brighter things

MonsefMA

Im aligning my opinion with whatever i think as i type this while scratching my ass, so

Kalyn

Madeline! Buc-ees is like a Quik Trip but way bigger and way better. You can get gas, snacks, clothes, coffee, various other things. They're really nice. And they always have clean bathrooms

Kalyn

So Kim Gordon *is* a legend, buuuuut no single person's opinion means that much. plus letting everyone know you dislike Taylor Swift ... so original

MonsefMA

The fact that there is a lot to dislike aside, where exactly did I say did?

Diana

Were you guys planning on going to lover fest?

meg 🤍

madeline i’m so glad you have the jellycat obsession like i do. i have the storm cloud (and many more) and can confirm he is adorable and squishy and soft

Pooja R

Oh..my..god..the office pervert story is killing me....reminds me of the time i approached my TA during lab class in college to ask a question, and he was casually browsing the Maxim website. At least he appeared to have some shame. Man turned beet red.

Terry B

good for you! There’s a bit of hero in all of us, but to take the time and courage to enact changes to make the world safer— you’re a superhero 🤗👏🏼we clapped we cheered

Audrey Marsala

If you guys ever want to name and shame lmk, I’ve done that before and can help. I exposed predators at my high school and omg had death threats online and in the mail, the cops were called, people tried to sue me for libel, tried to get me kicked out of college, etc. A whole mess. But I certainly have advice.

Terry B

problem with the law is, it can’t prevent personal crimes that typically don’t leave hard evidence or witnesses: harassment, grooming, stalking, family and intimate partner abuse 😢🤕 I’m hoping future generations can influence society to improve on education and equity. Poverty is closely linked to crime and mental health issues. 🤗

seal ੈ♡‧

madeline if there is any chance u see this pls PLEASE accept my req on twt,,, i deactivated my other twt n now i cant see ur tweets i literally lov ur acc so much i need to see ur thoughts ur reactions pls help a snake out … it’s my burner acc now lol it’s @bratclark pleakkkk love u n zack muah 🫶🫶🫶

stringbeans

So true. I believe the newer generations will make a big change in those regards, especially mental health. Here's to hoping🙂

Phoebe Williams

lmao stop spending your coin on a TAYLOR SWIFT PATREON then

Mia Mar

THAT WEEKLY SEGMENT, I’m so so seated that’s an amazing idea truly

nicole

Thanks Terry! I was just trying to think of any ways I could help aside from a bad review/sharing it in some local groups that I’m in.

Juliana McKenna

Hentai being brought up was never on my bingo card…. I’m sorry you were scandalized.

Paulina Moreno

Chester listening to Madeline’s European Tour ideas like 😳

Lacey Pinto

I just came to say Madeline your makeup is gorgeous!

Bon

Katy Perry’s new flop album comes out on my birthday😭 I feel cursed

Colleen Quinn

i’m SEATED for serious nonsense 🔥

diya

i was playing the pod while cooking and my roommate hears zach’s story and says maybe he was on photoshop to edit pictures that he could get made into future mouse pads and merch😭😭 this has somehow made the whole story worse

Hannah Ramirez

The digression into “who’s responsible for world peace?” had me hollering 😂😂 “they are fumbling the potato”. AGREED.

Yasmine Berrada

Please guys (also Zach and Madeline)! I really want to know how to get vip tickets resale for the Eras Tour european dates. I am wanting to go to 2 dates in August one General Admission and one Front Standing Right if I can but I really want Vip and I don't know whag website to use, what app to download pkease help sos Also zach you're awesome !! Thank you

Liz A

Will be forever upset at eras for taking away full versions of ttpd songs (pls Taylor change the prophecy)

Jacqueline Burton

I am going to London and I have never heard of the Jellycat brand but I will go check them out when I’m there

Jill

I regret to inform you that no, you *cannot* always tell when someone is a creep. Sometimes yes, other times no. Some people are indeed master manipulators and can trick anyone of any age and any intelligence level. The first mistake is thinking that you’re too smart to get got. Stay vigilant y’all. Agreed that having a wife is not a qualifier that someone is not either a creep or not really a Swiftie. I stopped watching Troy/HTHAZE personally but that’s just me. Also there is a new YouTuber stream broadcaster in Kevin’s wake, Ammir Shah, he’s not taking his shirt off but his face is always on during the streams. Why?? Anyways, CONGRATS ZACH!!! And Madeline your makeup is stunning!!!

Terry B

Smile was released around miserable COVID times— flop! This is the second time she misread public sentiments! In the mist of civil rights concerns how did she feel so tone deaf confident about this album being well received?! Is she surrounded by yes-mam bobble heads like J-Lo?! Don’t they test with focus groups / marketing consulting soft launch?…

LH

As much as I think K Gordon is an unmatched artistic genius, what on earth is the point of saying anything about Billy vs Taylor? If you want a headline, mention the Queen I guess

LH

What’s also interesting about this comment is that Kim was in a similar place herself in the 90s, constantly being compared to Courtney Love and others. Many a publicized feud.

Candace Tirado

I know I’m so late to this but CONGRATS on your Fulltimeology 🐍 ♥️ you’ve worked so hard and are so deserving!!!!! BRAVA

dancingaroundit

Madeline your Michael impressions kill me. I love it.

Terry B

Madeline: I brought back local produce mascots (peach, tulip, mushroom etc) from Japan which has the best <$5 cute souvenir keychains (clementine, etc) 😆 if you love plushies, Japan got to be on your bucket list 🤗

Georgea

The mousepad killed me

Terry B

often they mask as married friendly neighbour (interviews in criminologist D. Wilson’s podcast) you’d think FBI profiling’d keep tabs on youth platforms e.g. Swifties…but it’s exhausting to track stalkers and creeps. I hope forensics and informed (not paranoid) public can help minimize crimes 😮‍💨😑 stay safe 🤗🫨

FlarelsFearless

I'm a squishmallow fan and you make me want to invest into some jellycats plushes lol

Burtasaurusrex11

Having a hentai mouspad in the office is WILD. Just out in the open. I cannot wrap my head around that.

Cindy C

The Guilty as Sin music video idea is BRILLIANT

Tanner K

It's so annoying that the free time in between European Eras shows was being used to make Showgirl rather than more TTPD visuals!!

Meta Covington

madeline looks sooooo good with that eyeshadowww