The lizard review of the Eras Tour!!! (Patreon)

Now that is not my picture, let's start there, because I couldn't in my wildest dreams fathom of getting a picture that good in the seats that we had on either fucking night. Like they were not seats for photography. I do not have a SINGLE!!! decent image or video from the tour, which isn't to say either of our seats were BAD, but they were bad for photographing purposes. Though, looking at this picture, I almost wish we were higher up in the bowl so we could've seen that fucking cityscape view of Chicago in the background, because WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

The experiences on both nights were radically different. Let me break it down this one : Night One - stressful nightmare, feet hurt, blisters, weirdos all around us, had no idea where Taylor was on the stage if she wasn't directly in front of us, couldn't see jackshit for more than 70% of the show, sweating like a fucking dog, why did I spend the money on this, am I mentally deranged, what was I thinking, the Red set is too long, why is she singing My Tears Ricochet, etc etc. 

However. Night two. GREATEST SHOW I'VE EVER SEEN!!! BELLISSIMO!!!!!!!!! EVERY SONG WAS A NUMBER ONE WORLDWIDE HIT!!! EVERY SONG BELONGED ON THE SETLIST!!! THE BREEZE THROUGH MY HAIR!!!! 

Before we get into it, I can't stress enough, I regret NOTHING!!!!!!!!! NOT A SINGLE THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would do it all the fuck over again and not change a thing, because it was the experience of a lifetime!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was stressful and hot and amazing and miserable and magical and I loved it all!!! But, for a true review, I must give you the GOOD!! The BAD!! And the UGLY!! 

A huge problem with night one was that floor seats are genuinely not worth it if you don't get the right location, and even then, you simply must be within the first ten rows, otherwise it's just...bad. It wouldn't have been that bad if the tickets weren't *redacted thousand dollar amount*, but standing there realizing I would not be able to see her for more than half the time and I spent *redacted* on my ticket was....well....I was unstanning...in that moment, I was unstanning. I was like I don't think I belong here. I don't think I'm as big of a fan as I thought...because for like, five minutes at a time, I really was like, I REGRET THIS. LMFAO. But please let me explain the factors that went into that regret....let me break this down for you all....

1.) We were in the dead center of row 13. I knew in my heart and soul this was not a good move and that if we were going to be that far back, aisle was a must, but beggars cannot be choosers. We were committed to floor seats and well, we got them!! 

2.) Two people who did not have tickets in that section snuck down and crammed the row. Like it was already hot down there from the number of bodies there, but add in two additional people fucking crammed in there who did not belong...the girl beside me was literally ON TOP OF ME the entire show and so was Zack. IT WAS BAD. Like even when the sun went down it was so fuckin hot down there. Honestly I should've pulled a fucking Karen and gotten SECURITTYYYYYYYYY  

3.) The Cowboy Boots...an ABSOLUTE SERVE!!! But the blisters that formed on my feet...those were not the move...however, I knew that going into it!!!! 

4.) We at NO POINT sat down. During the interludes yes, but not at first lmfao. This was a move that would haunt me.........................

5.) The people immediately beside us were fine. Like the girlie beside me was a mega stan she was on her feet dancing her ass off and filming living, we stan her. The girl on Zack's side was also pretty cool. The people directly in front of me ruined every. Single. Video. I took. I was like ohhhh this is not....see, the thing is, when you're in the first five rows, you're close enough to the stage that people's hands and phones will not ruin your videos. When you're that far back, however...oh it was over before it even began. It was so sinister back there. Like how the fuck I paid *redacted* and I don't have a single good video or picture. Because ramen noodle head right in front of us ruined every second of the show he could get his hands on. 

6.) Probably the worst of it all...I literally could not see her for I shit you not, MOST of the show. Could not see her. Even when she was right there in front of us at the tip of the diamond closest to us, hands and phones went up and she was blocked from my view. I only have one really really good memory of seeing her super close, during August, when I swear she looked right at me. LMFAO!! I cradle that memory very near and dear to myself. 

All of those things put together created a perfect storm. It was BRUTAL OUT THERE!!! It was the most physically exhausting damn show of my lifetime, like, worse than standing room only shows where I was crammed in there like a sardine as people around me spilled beer on me and moshed and what have you. I've been to PUNK ROCK SHOWS that were more enjoyable than my experience night one at eras, and frankly, most of that is just up to the luck of the draw, the length of the show, and the price that I paid. If I had paid even a thousand dollars less I would've been like well that was worth it!!! 

Now onto the supermodel. Onto the queen. NIGHT TWO. NIGHT TWOOO!!!!! BEST SHOW OF MY LIFETIME!!!! I WAS LIVING...LIVING...LIVING....worth EVERY SINGLE PENNY I PAID. Every single thing that was bad about night one was REVERSED for night two, and we just fucking rocked like we have never rocked before. 

1.) We were in the second to last row of section 115, meaning we were RIGHT by the concessions and like fifteen feet away from the bathroom. I CANNOT STRESS how much of a serve this was. Being able to just get up and run real quick to the restroom during the Folklore interlude and be back right on time for The 1 to start was fucking incredible. Plus, Zack got up during Champagne Problems and got nachos and was back in time for Tolerate It. 

2.) Nobody fucking snuck in and we were not stuffed in there like a hambuger in a McDonald's box. Like I was comfortable the entire night, PLUS, it was breezy that night, and the wind through my hair felt sooo fucking good, I never got too hot or sweaty. 

3.) I wore a MUCH more comfortable dress and my comfortable shoes. I legit was rocking. 

4.) Most important thing - we sat when we wanted to sit and didn't care if people judged us for it. I personally sat for the first time during Champagne Problems, and mind you, sitting did not mean I was not going insane. I was singing along and watching on the screen the entire time, and it was better that way anyway. Otherwise, I sat during every interlude, I sat during Betty, I sat during Vigilante Shit, and that was enough breaks for my feet to feel A LOT BETTER. Really, do yourself a favor, and sit when you want, especially if it's your second or third show. You do not need to prove you're a real fan by killing your feet. The show is too long for that. 

5.) We were around some pretty good people!! Nobody was annoying, and the girlie right next to me was a mega fan and knew all the words, but she is an unplugged swiftie I would guess, because she didn't know what songs were coming next. Multiple times she was GAGGED...when 'Tis The Damn Season started I thought she was going to pass out because it was her favorite song and didn't know Taylor was going to play it. I was smiling so big for her lmfao. The people around us sat in intervals as well!!! The vibe in lower bowl is a lot less chaotic than floor as well.

6.) The view we had was a good bird's eye of the stage, though there was an overhang that ruined my videos, and we were near that tall light thing that blocked her when she was in the center of the diamond. But it was really cool to actually be able to see her physically the entire time, even if I wasn't seeing her SUPER UP CLOSE. Being able to see her 100% of the show from a bit of a distance is to me better than being able to see her 20% of the show super up close tbh. 

All in all, I do not regret either experience!!!!!!!!!!!! The price point of night one makes me want to kill myself, but we KNEW we'd be paying that much, and you know what?? THIS TOUR IS ONCE IN A LIFETIME!!!! I'd do it all over again the exact same fucking way!!!!! We danced, we sang, we lost our voices, we ate nachos, we sweat, we got blisters, we cried, we rocked, we bit each other's heads off while trying to get an uber after the show, we did it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We stayed in a dorm room!! I ruined Zack's life by snoring!!! We ate pizza!!! It was so much fun and was amazing, totally chaotic, totally animalistic, totally feral, and I lived the entire time. Wow. Looking back on it, I'm like, I cannot believe I did that. I can't believe I did that. Almost doesn't seem real, but it was. How lucky am I to have gotten to see it twice, even with the blood sweat and tears, and how beyond lucky am I that I still have a third show to go!!!! It was incredible. 

The most GLARING difference between night one and night two, is that on night two, I enjoyed every moment of the show. On night one, I was so uncomfortable in several different aspects that there were parts of the show that I felt DRAGGED ON FOREVER. I was IRRITATED by ATW10 night one, for example, even as I tried my hardest to just enjoy it and live in the moment, because I was so sweaty and everyone around us was so annoying and my blisters were eating me alive lmfao. 

But night two, I felt no stress, no reservations, and just enjoyed the show. I sat when I wanted to and preserved my energy, and it made such a huge difference. I really thought every moment on night two was magical and perfect, but there were some moments of the show that stuck out. 

1.) Tolerate It. Holy shit. On paper, Tolerate It makes no sense being on the setlist, but it is INCREDIBLE LIVE. INCREDIBLE. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. THE DEMONS I RELEASED SCREAMING THAT SONG. IT WAS AMAZING. 10/10 NO NOTES. 

2.) Marjorie. Everyone holding up their phones is magic. And what a sweet and beautiful moment to get to share with Taylor. I loved it. Absolutely LOVED it, both nights actually lmfao. 

3.) WILLOW. AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a stanny so I'm biased but it is so fucking good live. Everyone goes IN when they're screaming HEY THAT'S MY MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOOhhhhhh I loved it so much you guys. 

4.) ALL TOO WELL TEN. Again, despised her night one. LIVED FOR HER NIGHT TWO. Omfg everyone knew all the words and everyone screamed and cried with their hands up in the air, it was such a moment. ALSO, a stadium full of women screaming FUCK THE PATRIARCHY got the girlboss in me feeling soooooo full....

5.) The 1989 set. OMFG. The way every single person was on their feet shaking it the fuck off. I don't have words. Beautiful bellissimo etc etc 

6.) I would be remiss if I didn't mention...........THE LAKES. Like I said. By the surprise songs on night one I was a shall of a man. I said to Zack, I do not have it in me to get up and shake it the fuck off before 1989 started, like I was broken. I made that clear. I got up and shook it off to be clear, but I was halfassing it and everyone knew it. Then The Lakes happened...frankly when I Wish You Would happened I was already UP and GOING, but THE LAKES fully revived me like I took a snort of cocaine. HOW LUCKY AM I TO HAVE GOTTEN THE SONG I PREDICTED AND WANTED SO BADLY?????????? BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE. CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH. I COULD'VE DIED IN THAT MOMENT. I COULD'VE DIED. EVEN THOUGH THE GIRL RIGHT BEHIND ME THOUGHT SHE WAS BEYONCE WITH THE HARMONIES ON THE LAKES, I LIVED. 

All in all, Eras Tour is once in a lifetime. I recommend it even if you can only go to one show and even if your view sucks and even if you pay too much for it. I had the time of my life even in the worst moments. Whenever I thought I was too broken to go on....she brought me back to life. Thanks for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!