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1800-Phone-A-Snake ☎️ Gaylors, Karlie, & Steve Hall (Patreon)

Published:
2023-09-20 10:56:49
Imported:
2026-06
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Welcome back to the world's most useless crisis hotline, where you call in with your emergencies and we help you solve them. Lots to unpack here....we restate our position on Gaylorism for the newbies, discuss the current whereabouts of Steve Hall and the fate of Speak Now World Tour (Live)....video soon! 

Comments

Cameron

Inhaling this straight away to save me from the dullest day at work…. the snakes always strike their venom when it’s needed 🐍

Nicole Gabbie

No one: .. Madeline: etcetera etcetera ❤️ 🐍

Ryan

the most insane thing about gaylorism is that any argument they’ve ever made is explained away by the simple argument that taylor is simply hugely famous. like that’s why her lyrics etc line up with the gay experience because she’s one of the few straight people who’ve had their shit speculated about like she was in the closet… that’s it babes let’s pack it up!!!

Lyndsey

Real question, are og swiftie fans gaylors or is it mostly newer (post Red og) fans?

Lyndsey

When Zack said the post office threw away his signed midnights CD I audibly gasped. Mourning your loss.

Erin Houghton

“We gathered around the circle after work” now Madeline u know damn well gaylors don’t have jobs.

leah ☁️

you guys are like my cleaning buddies like the episodes are my favorite thing to listen to when i’m doing things around the house and i’ve been dreading it today so this came at the perfect time 😌

Kenny James

Madeline saying Paris, Texas moves her is interesting because its my favorite on the record as we'll. I always said it reminds me of Hoax sonically which is also my favorite folklore song and I know Madeline loves as well. I SWEAR those songs are linked some how and now I feel more validated, lmao.

Swiftologist

Well it has to be said, I am a SUCKER for anything piano based!!!! So yes Hoax and Paris, Texas are SOOOO coded for me, tehre's something mysterious and almost spooky as well as miserable about both those songs lmfaoooo. I also will be doing a lyrical analysis of Paris, Texas in October on the Lizard Review free for all so keep your eyes peeled for that next month !!

Swiftologist

Actually interesting - the friends I have that are queer women that I have known since at least Fearless era are all completely anti-Gaylor tin hat shit. A couple of them love to joke around about Diana Agron and Taylor because they were Glee fans back in the day, but you'll quickly learn there's a difference between entertaining the idea of Taylor maybe having kissed a girl or two and putting on the tin hat and insisting she's a liar and her entire career is predicated upon being trapped in the closet etc etc

RiLee Andros

oh my god…a moment of silence for zack’s signed copy of midnights 🦗

Liz

I truly LOLd at the 1st voicemail

Julia A

Haunted Speak Now (Tour Version) will forever be the gag of the century for me 👏👏👏

emma 🌷

what even occurs at a gaylor camp

Ash 🪻

may i hazard a guess with "licking box"?

Tayswiffer

ELLO FROM LOHN-DON ZACH AND MADELINE! Thank you for answering my question ♥️♥️ on the point about Gaylorism though - the thing that irritates me the most is their smugness and the dogmatism over anyone who doesn’t believe Taylor is gay is automatically a “hetlor”. As if the average (sane) swiftie is concerned with the nature of her relationships, gay or straight. I couldn’t give a fuck who she’s with, aside from indulging in an odd bit of gossip about Joe and her exes. The only song I could see as being queer coded is “ivy” but again she could’ve just written it as a story. Is it SO inconceivable that straight people can write about queer characters or experiences? Lol. My main proof that Taylor Swift is the straightest straight girl to ever exist is her portrayal of LGBTQ+ culture in YNTCD. No truly gay woman, bisexual whatever, would ever dream of portraying the queer experience in such a crass, dumb, stereotypical, completely devoid of substance way. Taylor strikes me as someone whose understanding of gay culture come from the hair stylists and MUAs that she might chat to backstage for glam. I’m not even part of the community myself but I studied queer history in university and it is such a rich, deeply complex culture with its own lexicon and shades of meaning. I believe Taylor likes to feel intellectual about things that she cares about and if she actually cared about the gay experience, she would’ve done her research. I refuse to believe that somebody with a real understanding of LGBTQ+ would write and sing “shade never made anybody less gay” without even the slightest tinge of irony. That song alone destroys the whole concept of Taylor being gay.

Sarah

I think Karlie, at her prime, was crush worthy. This opinion comes from a “totally” straight person! We all crush from time to time. Sexuality is fluid. Maybe there was a little something there but it was not enough to go all the way with the crush to start dating. She’s moved on and has dated many guys. She’s not gay. Anyway, I just think about dat crook sitting in the stands at the eras tour. Oh how the mighty have fallen!

Jade

“I don’t believe in licking box.” -Madeline’s greatest quote of all time hahaha

James

29:17 I would also sell Madeline to be Able to go to the speak now tour😭