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HeartTheft Chapter 5 (Patreon)

Published:
2023-05-28 18:42:27
Imported:
2026-06
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Chapters are going to start coming rapid-fire now, I've got three pretty much ready to go, but I'd rather do them in separate posts for purposes of feedback/critique.

Please let me know how I'm doing so far!  Thoughts on the characters, progression of the story, etc. . . everything's welcome <3

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Marcwolf

Really enjoying this. I think I might need to go back and read 3 and 4 again to put everything into context. Isi really is a tormented young man both by his quest and his passions. I am sure the monks would have found a herb that curbed that. And if so.. the withdrawal systems would be.. intense! Where is Malachi in this, or has he left Isis to persue another crime. As mentioned I need to re-read a lot. Great work Rukis :) :)

Rukis
>>109500174

You're ahead thanks to the streams, Malachi hasn't shown up yet at this point

Edef

I just recently read up to Chapter 5, Here's my thoughts and critique so far! -It's very interesting to see the RL world from the religious side of things, especially the specific details of their tenants. It's been on the sidelines for so long, and it's nice to get more context on it. -Isidor is the perfect picture of a pious gentleman whom I suspect we will see having world view challenged and dismantled, and I am looking forward to that. -As someone who isn't religious, I have a poor understanding of the architectural terms (like cloister, choir) for religious rooms and structures, and thus had a difficult time picturing those locations when described by Isidor. -I did find the scenes at Isidor's abbey on little on the dull side, but I know it's important for character and world building, and it's likely that I was just too excited to see his next confrontation with Darcy. -In the early chapters Darcy is suspected to be a seamstress in a "previous life". Is that meant literally in line with the parable of rebirth from the novel's opening, or simply "previous job"? -For the long letter in Ch5, I feel like Isidor went on a little too much about his prayer book/journal, but it was also acknowledged that he rambles. It's likely this journal will have significance later in the story, so this criticism may be unfounded. -I have no idea what to expect between Darcy's legs, but if it's a penis I greatly look forward to Isidor's reaction. I'm excited to read more! However I may have to stop soon until the full book finishes so as not to punish myself with too much waiting.

Marcwolf

I think the Abbey being on the dull side is part of the story. Isidor - being clositered in a restrictive (physically expressive, sexually, and intellectially) is not really prepared for the outside world when he meets it at first. A major culture shock.